Showing 1 - 10 of 266 posts found matching keyword: walter

Horrible person that I am, I was in 15-items-or-less line at the grocery store yesterday thinking disparaging things about the food choices of the people in front of me. My primary antagonists were an elderly couple who still had a hankering for soda and sweets and an inability to count past 15.

That's when it occurred to me that I was in no position to throw scones. My cart was filled with 5 cans of pork and beans, 5 jars of mayonnaise, and 4 six-packs of Coke. Party time!

You know who probably doesn't judge people on the contents of their cart? Clark Kent. That's a good example to follow.

From now on when standing in a check-out line, before casting aspersions on the sugar junkie in front of me, I'll ask myself "What Would Superman Do?"

He'd probably study the cover of the National Enquirer as he calmly waited his turn. Even Superman wants to know why George Clooney is taking the twins away from Amal.

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WorkWise software has taken the unusual step of blogging about Google searches for ice cream flavor by U.S. state to drive traffic to their website. It's a great idea because it works. I was just there looking at their breakdown of flavors to see if any states preferred my personal favorite flavor, mint chocolate chip. (Answer: only New Jersey.) It turns out that exactly one state loves Superman.

That's right. According to Google Trends data, the flavor that citizens of Michigan search for most is Superman. Technically, this doesn't mean that anyone in Michigan is nuts about tri-colored blue/red/yellow dairy treats, just that a whole lot of people were curious enough about it to type it into Google. My guess is they were actually asking "what flavor is Superman ice cream?"

I've seen Superman ice cream in the wild, though I'm not remotely adventurous enough to have tried it. I'm pretty sure that "blue" isn't a flavor, and whatever it tastes like, I can't imagine that it goes well with lemon and cherry.

Interestingly, Edy's/Dreyer's makes a DC Comics-themed line of ice cream flavors which naturally includes a Superman variety. You might think it would be Superman flavored. It's not.


Personally, I'd stay away from Krypton™ Cookie Dough ice cream. Everyone knows Krypton explodes.

While "cookie dough light ice cream" might seem like a missed opportunity for a Superman-branded flavor, the most popular Google Trends search was far and away cookies and cream (the favorite in 13 states, including Georgia). If cookies are the American way, then I guess it makes sense that's what Superman should be selling.

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I have a new computer. My five-year-old machine had been feeling sluggish for quite some time, so I finally upgraded. I was very reluctant to spend so much money, but it was pointed out to me that since I spend most of my time programming video games, I should have a computer than can actually play them.

To that end, I picked out a new machine with four times more RAM than I used to have. It's a noticeable difference. I can now goof off much faster than before.

The new machine also has a terabyte solid state disk memory. Remember when a terabyte of memory was something that only Microsoft possessed? I do. That was 22 years ago. I shudder to think what my computer might be capable of in 22 more years. By then, it will probably be programming me.

The only real problem with the new computer is its High Definition 17-inch monitor with accompanying 144GHz refresh rate. Those aren't the problem, exactly. My eyes are. I have to sit much closer to the machine to make out the fine details. At least I know I can spend less money on my next computer (estimated 2024). That, or a lot more money on new glasses.

My favorite new feature is the backlit keyboard. It pulses (in solid red) in a pattern that the manufacturer has called "breathing." At least I think the manufacturer named it. Maybe the self-programming has already begun. I'd give the machine a name, but I think I'll wait and see if it chooses one for itself.

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I made this poster as a first draft for a client's event. The final product focused less on the Star Wars and more on the car show, but I still like this one. So I'm sharing.

Or do what I do and stay at home

Enjoy your Star Wars Day.

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Some people craft quilts or give soup to the homeless to feel better about themselves. I painted some miniatures.

Who you gonna call?

Believe it or not, it was not something I had done before. I wish I could explain how satisfying I found the experience.

I think maybe I need to paint more often. Not houses or canvases, mind you. Just tiny little pieces of plastic.

I'm sure it's what Renoir would have done if he'd known about Dungeons and Dragons.

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Because you demanded it, a Walter health update:

On March 4, I fell down the stairs and didn't die. I did, however, hurt my ankle. Four weeks later and I'm still not dead, but my ankle still hurts. Not as badly as it once did, but enough to keep me off the elliptical (but sadly not out of cutting the grass).

I took my symptoms to WebMD.com, and it very helpfully suggested that should have seen my doctor. That's not helpful. If I wanted to see a doctor, I wouldn't have gone to WebMD.

The problem is most likely what I self-diagnosed at the time. I probably have a lingering ankle sprain. Or maybe, because the residual pain is localized on the bone, it could be a minor fracture. In either case, it should resolve by itself in time for football season to start in August. I hope.

I'll keep you posted.

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This is an introductory paragraph telling you I'm about to talk about movies.

40. (1479.) Asterix and the Vikings (2006)
I first met Asterix in, as I recall, 1981 on the bookshelf of my friend, Greg. Greg and I grew apart after I skipped the 4th grade, but I've retained a nostalgic fondness for the comedic adventures of Asterix and company. This movie contained several dated pop culture references, though if this encourages viewers to hunt down a volume or two of the original comics, the dissonance is worth it.

43. (1482.) My Girl (1991)
After so many years of resisting this movie, I think I might have guilted myself into watching it. It's not bad. Dan Aykroyd reprises the well-intentioned but generally clueless character he played in Driving Miss Daisy, and Jamie Lee Curtis reprises the street smart, free spirit she played in Trading Places. Their protagonist is their daughter, and the film works best, as a sort of female Stand By Me, when the focus stays on her.

44. (1483.) Quicksilver (1986)
Someone said, "Let's make a movie where Kevin Bacon quits his lucrative stockbroker job to become a bicycle courier and runs afoul of a drug-dealing pimp." I wish it was as good as it sounds.

45. (1484.) Rabid (1977)
This is fundamentally a zombie movie where the outbreak is caused by experimental plastic surgery. Ugh. I don't think I like David Cronenberg films. One of these days, I'll probably force myself to watch Naked Lunch, but I really do think that will be the last one. They're just not for me.

46. (1485.) Mystery Street (1950)
Ah-ha! A great police procedural staring Ricardo Montalban. Highly recommended if you like that sort of thing (and judging by CBS's primetime lineup, most people do).

47. (1486.) John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)
Rubbing some of the mystery off of the original world teased in John Wick serves only to lessen the thrill, but I still liked it. There will always be room at my mental multiplex for stylish action films.

More to come.

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I was planning on going to a professional football game this weekend when the Atlanta Legends played the Salt Lake Stallions at Georgia State Stadium on Sunday. But now I will not be doing that.

Not because I've got other plans or because I couldn't afford tickets. No, I will not be doing that because the Alliance of American Football has taken its ball and gone home. The league "suspended operations" yesterday, which is a euphemism for "went out of business."

Unlike previous off-Broadway versions of the NFL, I had been enjoying the AAF games. I loved their tweaks to the usual NFL rules. (No kickoffs. All extra point attempts had to be 2-point conversions. Referees for the referees.) Alas, it was too beautiful to survive. By which I mean, obviously, the NFL had to kill it.

The Alliance had been struggling for capital since they started play in February. Attendance and television numbers were actually very encouraging, but behind-the-scenes backing was not. The nail in the AAF's coffin was the NFL and NFLPA refusing to play ball and allow young, signed NFL talent to crossover and make the AAF a true developmental league like the World League was in the aughts. I can't say as I blame them. There's only so much money to be made from professional football, and right now, they have it all. Why should they share if they can get away without? (Capitalism Rule #1: Business ethics is an oxymoron.)

Anyway, I'll be free this Sunday afternoon. Maybe I'll take in a movie.

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Whenever I used to hear old people say "life was better when," I thought they'd were full of shit. But now that I'm in my mid-40s myself....

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The National Safety Council says that the odds of an American dying from a fall are 1 in 114. That's about twice as likely as the chance of death from a gun assault (1 in 285) but five times more common than the chance of dying while going for a walk (1 in 556). The specific odds of dying from falling down the stairs is 1 in 1,662. Yesterday morning, I nearly became a statistic.

I woke up early to take July outside to go potty before the bad weather rolled in. I didn't bother to change shoes and wore my slippers in the dewy grass. Returning to the house, I wiped her wet feet but not mine. Then we both went back downstairs to return to bed. Thanks to my slippery slippers, one of us went faster than the other.

Spoiler alert: I didn't die. But I do have an uncomfortably twisted ankle and abrasions on my elbows. And I've certainly learned a valuable lesson. From now on, the dog can go potty in the rain.

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To be continued...

 

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