Showing 1 - 10 of 111 posts found matching keyword: art

I just read that famous performance artist Yoko Ono, who everyone knows only because of her famous performance art and for no other reason, once published a "book of instructions" (Grapefruit) containing a conceptual think piece ("Number Piece 1") in which she instructed readers to "Count all the words in the book instead of reading them." My knee-jerk response to that knowledge was, "damn, that's stupid." That's the same as telling someone to go a museum and focus on measuring the size of all the frames. And then, as I was feeling very superior in my judgment, it dawned on me that counting the number of words in a book is exactly the sort of thing I might do without being prompted. (122 so far. Now 126. Is this art?)

I do not understood what this says about me, but I do have the sudden urge to go find a band to break up.

154.

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It's been over a year since I was in the local hospital, and they've updated their wall art:

Doctor, I'm seeing giant bugs crawling on all the walls

Then don't look at the walls

This is what happens when your kid spends too much time on their elementary school diorama on malaraia

Because it was so pleasant to be in the ER waiting room before there were giant bugs on the wall.

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I've almost finished my latest painting. Henry tells me it's pretty good.

Han Solo has Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor.

And that's why dogs are a man's best friend.

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Back in May, Google drove through my neighborhood to update their Street View (for the first time since March 2022). Right now this is what you get if you Google my house:

I believe the car is looking at me, Captain.

The good news is that Google is very concerned about my privacy. Per their Google-Contributed Street View Imagery Policy (google.com/streetview/policy/):

We have developed cutting-edge face and license plate blurring technology that is designed to blur identifiable faces and license plates within Google-contributed imagery in Street View.

That's nice. But sometimes it isn't enough to blur just a face.

He caught his head in a mechanical rice picker, but, fortunately, there was an American missionary living close by who was actually a, uh, skilled, uh, plastic surgeon in civilian life.

"I see you've noticed the ears. They're actually easy to explain...."

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Bon voyage

I did not paint that. It came with the house when Mom bought it, along with carpet that smelled of cat piss and ceilings painted brown to match the walls. We got rid of the cat piss carpets and brown ceilings years ago, but the coconut trees have been here the whole time. Until now.

For reasons that are completely unrelated to the fact that we're having house guests next weekend, we've decided to finally paint the solid green laundry room in tasteful Icebreaker Blue, Dutch White, and Purple Prince to accompany the Weeping Wisteria in the adjacent mud room. (You can probably imagine what blue, white, and purple look like, but do you know what color wisteria is? Hint, hint.)

Anyway, when our house guests arrive and wonder why the house smells like fresh paint, well, that's just me hiding the nuts in the laundry room.

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You might think I'm kidding, but I really did just take this off the refrigerator:

Just how many shades of brown come in one box of crayons?

Yes, those are cowboy boots with little jets in the heels. And no, there never was a time in my life when I wasn't obsessed with comic book super heroes.

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When I started this painting, I was trying to have it done by May Fourth. But, as a wise puppet once said, "Do or do not. There is no try." And I did not.

However, in honor of Star Wars Day, I'll make my apologies with this here recent-ish picture of the work in progress.

I have a bad feeling about this

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Can you guess what my next painting is going to be?

Hint: he's not scruffy looking but he is a nerf herder

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Someone lost their tiger in my front yard.

A good companion, in a weird sort of way.

There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt and make it even worse!

If someone wouldn't drag that tiger everywhere, things like this wouldn't happen.

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Guess who the artist and graphic designer is on the latest Mythica Gaming product?

Hint: it's me.

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To be continued...

 

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