Showing 1 - 10 of 178 posts found matching keyword: holidays

Superman celebrates Independence Day the same way I do: watching 1776. He just has a better seat.

Not a dream! Not an imaginary story!

That's the opening splash panel from "Die Now, Live Later" in Action Comics #463, published in the summer of 1976 with a nod to the nation's bicentennial. This might blow your mind, but this Superman comic book is not a 100% accurate depiction of the events of July 4, 1776.

I'll run my quill pen through it!

See what I mean? Everyone knows that Franklin had retired from day-to-day publishing pursuits in the 1740s and had divested all ownership of the Pennsylvania Gazette by 1766!

In addition to the occupation of Old Man Franklin (who in July of 1776 was a Medicare-eligible 70 years old — two years younger than our current Chief Executive), there is one other bit of historical inaccuracy presented herein. See if you can spot it:

No, it's not that the room is only 3/5th full of men

Both Franklin and the narration in this panel are correct. While Congress agreed on independence on July 2, the text of the declaration of that independence vote was indeed approved on the 4th. (We're really celebrating bureaucracy and paperwork today, not independence.) But that declaration wasn't signed on July 4th! The Declaration of Independence as we know it wasn't signed by John Hancock or anyone else until August 2, 1776.

Besides those tiny gaffes, I assume the rest of this comic book can be treated as a historical document suitable for elementary school classrooms. Superman himself explains how he became involved in this previously unknown bit of American history, and Superman would never lie to us.

Everything is clear now--Karb-Brak sent me back in time...after he used his psi-machine to erase my memory of being Superman! Then he programmed me... and everyone else here... to believe I was a reporter who lived in 1776! I've been wearing my Superman costume all along--which means my colonial outfit was only a hypnotic illusion projected by the psi-machine--an illusion which vanished when I regained my memory!

An alien named Karb-Brak? Yeah, that sounds legit.

Happy Birthday, America!

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Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe."

Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe." Thomas answered him, "Hey, wait. This is just makeup." Jesus said to him, "April Fools!"

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Nothing says 'resurrection' like chocolate rabbits!

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What I did on St. Patrick's Day:

Jacksonville Icemen 5, Georgia Gladiators 4.

Minor league ice hockey might not sound an Irish way to pass the time, but they fight like true drunken expatriates. Saint Patrick would be proud.

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Puppy love

If it's not puppy love, at least it's puppy getting along. That's not nothing.

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Damn, 2017 was a rough year. Death, destruction, disharmony encroached from all sides.

As usual this time of year, I listen to the past for signs of where we can go from here. This is what I heard the past saying:

Baby, I don't understand
why we can't just hold on
to each other's hands.

This time will be the last,
I fear, unless I make it all too clear:
I need you so.

Take these broken wings
and learn to fly again.
Learn to live so free.

When we hear the voices sing,
the book of love will open up
and let us in.

So deep! Obviously these "broken wings" are a metaphor for our culture's injured psyche, a malady we can best heal by coming together and singing. Thank you so much for sharing your ageless wisdom, Mr. Mister.

Here's hoping 2018 is the best year ever. (Or at the very least, that it's better than 2017.)

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I believe the technical term for dog sweaters is 'straightjacket'

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This year Mom woke me up early (read: noon) because she was eager to open her Christmas presents. She actually shouted that I needed to wake up and see what Santa Claus brought me. Then she tossed a small bag of coal in my bed. Bah, humbug!

When did I become the parent in this relationship?

I gave Mom a coffee press. She gave me a VR headset that turned my smartphone into a migraine-inducing nightmare machine. Together, we had a great time. I can't wait to do it all again next year.

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For no good reason, I bought a Wilton gingerbread house kit from Michaels earlier this month with the plan that Mom and I would build it together. That plan was somewhat spoiled when my father interrupted our house raising. (He needed tech support for the Kindle I bought him last Christmas that he just now decided to activate for the first time.) Mom went to bed while I was on the phone, and I finished our house without her.

We went shopping for a do-over replacement kit, but Michaels was sold out. Rather than give up, I doubled down. I found a recipe and made enough gingerbread for two more houses, one for Mom to decorate and one for me. (No tech support call could defeat this plan!)

'Are you going to make a gingerbread house?' asked the cashier. 'I did that when I was a child.'
Click photo to embiggen.

In the photo above, the shared kit house is on the left with the rainbow roof. Mom's greenhouse is in the middle. My sloppy icicle house is on the right.

For my standalone house, I decided I was only going to use candy accessories that I would eat. Turns out, I don't like the taste of rainbows. Who knew?

Though I'm reasonably satisfied with the final results, the best part wasn't decorating but baking the gingerbread. (The house smelled so good!) Therefore, next year I think we'll just decorate homemade gingerbread men. And we'll turn off our cellphones, just in case.

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Holidays are overrated

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To be continued...

 

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