What is it that makes Man the apex predator on the planet?

It's not size. Bears think we make good snacks.

It's not tools. Otters have thumbs, too.

It's not problem solving. Octopusses cannot be contained.

It's not teamwork. Lions have pride.

It's not agriculture. Ants farm underground.

It seems to me that the one thing that mankind does that nothing else in the animal kingdom can match is writing lists like this. Humans are the unparalleled champions of navel gazing.

Take that, dolphins!

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What should you give your loved one for Earth Day? How about leftover valentines, 50% off!

Give me one of these and it becomes a 'Friendship Ending Kit'

I mean, I know I'm old and out of touch, but I cannot imagine what would happen if I had given one of these to a classmate when I was in elementary school.

On the other hand, no would have had any problem if I'd a water gun in my backpack. *shrug*

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And I'm no Jim Davis

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And here, just when I thought I'd never mention Jay Cutler on this blog again, his wife says that he sucked, quote, "harder than he's ever sucked before."

The joke writes itself.

If you can't see the joke as told by Stephen Colbert via YouTube above, try it at The Draw Play dot com.

Don't ever change, Jay.

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More movies watched in April.

48. (1487.) What's Up, Doc? (1972)
The biggest problem with this callback to the screwball comedies of the 1930s is Barbara Streisand. Not only is her character about as charming as nails on a chalkboard, I just don't buy her as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Something about her on-screen presence really, really rubs me the wrong way. The net effect of this film was just to remind me that I could be watching the much better movies that inspired it instead.

49. (1488.) Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr. (2009)
Speaking of movies that make you wish you were watching the movies that inspired them: don't watch this. Jim Carrey makes the originals work, and his absence here is painfully glaring.

50. (1489.) Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016)
I'm on the fence about this one. It's charming in its way, but it is somehow simultaneously stale. Perhaps I'm just weary of Tim Burton's aesthetic. Hrm. Maybe it's me. I can see myself watching this again one day.

51. (1490.) Lifeforce (1985)
Space vampires! This feels like a Hammer horror, which I suspect was the goal.

52. (1491.) Jour de Fete (1949)
Jacques Tati's first full length film is a delight. It occurred to me about halfway through that general tone of Tati's films is what Roberto Benigni's Life is Beautiful was trying to replicate in the late 90s. I hated Life is Beautiful because the protagonist is an inherently selfish lout. Tati's protagonists maybe oblivious and occasionally rude, but they are never unlikable. I wish someone had pointed me towards Tati sooner.

More to come.

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Some people craft quilts or give soup to the homeless to feel better about themselves. I painted some miniatures.

Who you gonna call?

Believe it or not, it was not something I had done before. I wish I could explain how satisfying I found the experience.

I think maybe I need to paint more often. Not houses or canvases, mind you. Just tiny little pieces of plastic.

I'm sure it's what Renoir would have done if he'd known about Dungeons and Dragons.

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To be continued...

 

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