The fellow who pays me to open Magic cards was disappointed that I didn't mention him by name in my last post. That fellow's name is Randy, and this is my way of apologizing for not mentioning him earlier.

Randy loves to gamble. He'll bet on anything. That's not to say that Randy has a problem. I'm sure he could quit any time he could no longer find someone willing to take his money. He's preparing to have a second child, I suspect, because he's already lost the rights to his first kid.

Randy is excited about today's Super Bowl. He'll certainly be wagering on the game. That doesn't make Randy unique: it is estimated that about half of all adult American -- probably the male half -- will be gambling today's game between the New England Patriots and New York Giants. And like Randy, most of those bettors will be gambling not on the game's outcome, but on its details.

Proposition bets are wildly popular, Randy assures me. These "prop" bets are for the outcome of curiously specific events. Randy's personal favorite prop is to gamble on whether the first turnover of the game will be a fumble or interception. (Randy prefers fumble, but interception is the big favorite. [Actual outcome: interception]) Other examples of props for Super Bowl XLVI:

• Will Tom Brady's first pass of the game be complete, incomplete, or intercepted?
  (Favorite: incomplete)[Actual: incomplete]
• Will Eli Manning throw a touchdown pass in the first quarter of the game?
  (Favorite: no) [Actual: yes]
• Which quarterback will throw an interception first?
  (Favorite: Manning) [Actual: Brady]
• Will more or fewer than 2.5 players attempt a pass during the game?
  (Favorite: fewer) [Actual: fewer]
• Which team will cross the 50 yard line on offense first?
  (Favorite: Giants) [Actual: Giants]
• Will any player draw a penalty for excessive celebration after a touchdown?
  (Favorite: no) [Actual: no]
• Will the jersey number be of the first player to score a touchdown be higher or lower than 80.5?
  (Favorite: lower) [Actual: lower (80)]
• Will the Patriots convert a 4th down?
  (Favorite: no) [Actual: yes]
• Will the first missed field goal of the game miss left, miss right, or be blocked?
  (Favorite: miss left) [Actual: none missed]
• Will the color of the Gatorade dumped on the winning coach be yellow, orange, clear, red, green, or blue?
  (Favorite: yellow) [Actual: purple!]
• If Tom Brady's son is shown on TV during the game, will he be wearing a Tom Brady Jersey?
  (Favorite: yes) [Actual: not shown]
• Will Kelly Clarkson's bare belly be showing when she sings the National Anthem?
  (Favorite: no) [Actual: no]
• Will Madonna wear an NFL jersey or shirt at any point during the Super Bowl halftime show?
  (Favorite: no) [Actual: no]
• Which number will be higher: the gross passing yards accrued by Tom Brady plus 63.5 yards or the number of points accrued by the college basketball teams of Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, Illinois, and Northwestern on February 6 minus 63.5 points?
  (Favorite: even) [Actual: Tom Brady + 63.5 = 339.5]

I think Randy was going to tell me that the last bet is a sure thing for Brady, but he barely got through reading it when he excused himself to make a phone call. Don't worry, though. I made sure that he paid me in cash as soon as he came back.

Three or four times a year, I'm employed to open and sort packs of Magic: the Gathering™ cards. Usually, as I stare at the typical variety of Dragon Whelps, Defiant Elves, and Goblin Balloon Brigades, I think to myself, "who would want to play with these cards?" Now I wonder no more!

Introducing the most awesome card ever: basement cat.

I was completely unaware that Wizards of the Coast bought the rights to publish Pet Sematary-themed cards, but it was a great idea: when it comes to Magic, dead isn't just sometimes better! I've always said that the best cat is an undead cat, and now I can play with my very own. Thanks, WotC!

I made a bunch of images to be used to the left of the new site logo, but I was never able to work them into a format that satisfied me. Since it would be a shame to have them go to waste (and because I promised myself that I would include more of my "artwork" on the blog this year), here they are:

Wriphe.com has a new site design. Let's call it the 10th Anniversary Edition. I figure new design is far easier than new content.

If you find an error, please let me know.

Trey and I just watched The Master of Disguise, a 2002 film starring Dana Carvey. And when I say "starring," I mean "ended the career of." The film has a 2% "freshness" rating at RottenTomatoes.com, a rating of 12/100 at metacritic.com, and a rating of 3.0/10 from users on IMDB.com. To sum up: it is not popular.

To be fair, the film isn't quite as bad as its reputation would imply. Please don't mistake that backhanded compliment as a recommendation. It's not good. It's really, really not good.

It is pretty clear that the scriptwriters didn't know where to take the plot, despite some amusing but misguided set-ups. The film suffers terribly from being simply under-written, and the unfettered improv "comedy" wanders far from the beaten path in its desperate search for a laugh.

It is even more clear that first-time director Perry Andelin Blake had no business behind the camera. The film's pacing is every bit as erratic as the hit-or-miss comedy bits. It's no surprise that Blake has never been asked to direct another movie.

We watched the film because it was recommended to Trey by one of his drama students who described it as her favorite movie. The next time I hear someone imploring me to "please, think of the children," I am going to think of this girl and this movie. And I'm going to remember that the children of America are probably getting what they deserve.

The multi-state Powerball Lottery -- which you can play in Georgia -- has raised the price of their tickets, doubling the cost to $2. They assure the public that with the cost increase comes better odds for players. That would be great if twice the cost made the odds twice as good, but no. The old odds of winning were estimated at 1 in 192,000,000. The new odds are 1 in 175,000,000. Who can afford NOT to play at those odds?

The difference in those two numbers is 12,000,000, an improvement of almost 6% against the original odds. To put that in perspective, Americans have about a 6% chance of dying of a stroke. That means that you have a 94% chance of dying of anything other than a stroke.

No matter how you look at it, 1 in 175,000,000 is long odds. According to the National Safety Council, you have a far better chance of being killed by a hungry crocodile than winning the new Powerball lottery. Mathgoespop.com estimates that an average American probably has better odds of bowling a perfect game than winning the new Powerball lottery. All gambling sites recommend that you avoid slot machines because of their terrible odds, odds which are, you guessed it, far better than winning the new Powerball lottery.

But I guess no one is playing the lottery because of the odds. They are playing because there is a chance, no matter how slim, that they will make a $40,000,000 return on a $2 investment. And that sounds like an offer too good to pass up. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to run down to the store. Maybe I'll buy two tickets: 1 in 87,500,000 sounds like my kind of odds.