I think my mother might be trying to gaslight me.

She tells me that I eat too much white bread. Every day when I wake up and go to the refrigerator for milk, she warns me "you're almost out of bread." When I look, she's right. There are only a few pieces left.

How can that be? When last I went shopping, I bought a loaf of Sunbeam Giant, enough bread to choke a horse. I've had the occasional peanut butter and honey sandwich for dinner — most of you would call it a "midnight snack" — but that's only a couple of slices in the past week.

Where's my bread going? Am I sleep eating? Does bread evaporate overnight? Or, as I suspect, is my mother throwing the slices away one at a time in a devious plan to get me to eat multigrain?

I'm on to you, Mom. You'll not trick me. White bread for life!

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: family food mom walter

At last! The final batch of movies watched in March:

59. (1288.) The Magnetic Monster (1953)
Mid-century cautionary tale about the unknown dangers of splitting the atom. It starts like a documentary, though it mostly plays like stale drive-in cliche. Not entirely terrible, but hardly a classic.

60. (1289.) Death Wish (2018)
Also not a classic. I've seen all the Bronson Death Wish movies multiple times, and none of them are quite as dumb as the movie Bruce Willis finds himself in. I'm not entirely sure whether this interpretation of Kersey was a bumbling idiot because the writer/director/studio wanted to downplay the danger of a self-appointed vigilante a gun or whether they just think most people are that foolish. *shrug*

61. (1290.) Johnny Handsome (1989)
A mad scientist gives a disfigured criminal a new face, but he can't fix his broken heart! No, seriously. Lance Henriksen, Ellen Barken, and Morgan Freeman play comic book villains, but this hokum comes across surprisingly earnest thanks entirely to Mickey Rourke. Not bad for a crime movie of its era.
(Footnote: early in the film, Henriksen is driving through the streets of New Orleans and a Coca-Cola storefront sign is visible out his rear window. As the sign clearly wasn't placed for the shot, I don't think it qualifies as product placement, so no screenshot appears here. But it is clearly a Coca-Cola sign so I'm still talking about it.)

62. (1291.) The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band (1968)
Kurt Russell is the only actor I've seen in multiple movies so far this year. Here in 1968, he plays a pre-teen member of the title band (headed by Walter Brennan and Buddy Ebsen). Forty-seven years later, in 2015's Bone Tomahawk, he played an aging Old West sheriff. I'm glad he's still acting. In both roles he was great. This entire movie was pretty enjoyable, in fact, with good songs and a tight (if slight) story. There's a reason the Disney brand has been so strong for so long.

63. (1292.) Walkabout (1971)
Two children become lost in the Australian Outback and are saved by a young aborigine. Was anyone truly saved? Is the film being cynical, honest, or allegorical? It's like the Apocalypse, Now! of coming-of-age movies. The only thing I'm sure it's saying is that everyone goes through their own life alone. Honestly, I watch a lot of movies and rarely come across anything as weird and haunting as this. I'll remember Walkabout for a long time.

More to come.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: coke movies

Here comes the judge!

I don't live in Forsyth County, but I like this guy's style, if not his spelling.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: politics

Patrick Reed won the Masters golf tournament in Augusta this past weekend. I wasn't familiar with Reed, so I Googled him.

Dy-no-mite!

Something tells me that's not the Jimmy Walker that people watching the Masters were searching for. (At least not since 1974.)

Second question: Are those really the best expressions of Marc Leishman and Henrik Stenson that Google can come up with?

Good times, man, good times.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: internet television

Some things do smell worse than wet dog

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic strip poodle strip poodles

Neo-Nazis are coming to Newnan. And this used to be such a nice Southern town. By which I mean the kind that kept its racism private.

The city police department sent a letter to local businesses to let them know that the Nationalist Socialist Movement (NSM) has rented a city park for a rally on April 21. The city says it can't do anything to stop that, what with the First Amendment and all. Funny. The First Amendment didn't stop the county from spending millions of dollars a few years ago to try to prevent Starship, a sex toy retailer, from getting a business licence. Sex toys bad! Nazis okay.

The city seems much more worried about the Antifa groups that have already announced their intent to protest the rally. The local newspaper suggests that we should just politely ignore the racists in our midst. I mean, why would anyone protest against those clean-cut skinheads? They look like such nice boys. Nice, white boys.

The representative of the NSM told the paper that his group chose Newnan for no specific reason, but, boy, aren't we be worried that "they" are coming for our Confederate monuments? "Next thing you know, it will be the Vietnam Memorial or even our American flag." Um, no, no it won't. Frankly, if the monument to Confederate dead on our Court Square is the reason we have Nazis in town, I'm okay with seeing it go.

Some sides just don't have "very fine people."

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: newnan racism trumps america

To be continued...

 

Search: