Most of the movies I've watched lately are reruns, by which I mean movies I've seen before. For example, TCM ran a month of Thursdays of James Bond movies, and I watched all of them. That's nearly two dozen movies I don't need to track here. However, I assure you that the following were indeed new to me.

160. (1599.) Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)
Not counting Zombieland 2 (opening next weekend), I'm now just 2 movies away from seeing everything that Emma Stone has done. Not that I'm stalking her. That would be creepy. No. This is the opposite of that. Not creepy.

(How was the movie? Oh, fine enough, I guess. I didn't buy Matthew McConaughey as the lead love interest, but that's par for the course. I've never been a big McConaughey fan. Oh, the things I do for you, Miss Stone. Not creepy!)

161. (1600.) Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)
I remember the trailers for this from back in the day, especially the stained-glass knight. An offspring of its era — anyone else remember Young Indiana Jones and Young James Bond? — It's a fan-service movie for Sherlock Holmes lovers to show their kids. Not great.

162. (1601.) Shakes the Clown (1991)
Also not great, though mostly because of a lack of focus befitting the settings and characters. There is some genuine funny in this parody of a crime thriller, but not enough to justify sitting through the whole thing.

163. (1602.) A Scanner Darkly (2006)
I always say that there's no point to making an animated movie if you're not going to push the boundaries of "reality," and this film certainly does that. Too long, too much talking, too ambiguous in plot and point. I'm not disappointed that I finally saw it, but I wouldn't watch it again.

164. (1603.) The Happiest Millionaire (1967)
Walt Disney's last movie. The old man must have been slipping near the end, because this is terrible. It's like a remake of Mary Poppins with all the magic sucked out and replaced with the drudgery of wedding planning. Blech.

165. (1604.) Night People (1954)
A Cold War spy drama starring Gregory Peck. I found it engaging, but it's no James Bond. "Dry" might be the most generous description.

166. (1605.) Highly Dangerous (1950)
The unusual twist in this spy pulp fiction is that the newly recruited spy is *gasp* a woman. That's about all it has going for it. I'd say avoid if possible.

More to come.

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The first evidence I saw that things were going to go poorly was at the start of the game when the three guys sitting behind me correctly predicted Georgia's playcalling on the first three downs. And they didn't just call runs and passes. They accurately predicted blocking assignments and routes. If the guys in the stands can do it, it should come as no surprise that the opposing coaches can do it, too. And they did. (Although, how hard is it to predict "run up the middle, run up the middle, pass to the outside" when it is repeated for 4 quarters and two overtimes of play?)

South Carolina 20, UGA 17

The picture above is of the South Carolina players celebrating at midfield and tearing branches off the famed hedges after their win. Some Georgia fans were up and arms about this, but that's what underdog visiting teams do when they beat #3 ranked Georgia. Or, as in this case, #3 ranked Georgia beat itself.

There was a lot of blame to go around in this 20-17 loss in double overtime, but quarterback Jake Fromm does deserve special mention in no small part because he's typically been so good. He played so badly today — missing open receivers, throwing three interceptions, and fumbling once — I have to wonder what recently went wrong in his life. Dumped by his girlfriend? Dead dog? Payoff? Did no one tell Jake the cautionary tale of Quincy Carter? Bad games against South Carolina can ruin promising careers, Jake.

Oh well. Better luck next week, Dawgs.

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Unsettling Color Theory 101

I love sunsets.

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She gets surly if I forget

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Five weeks into the 2019 NFL season, the Miami Dolphins are 0-4 in their quest to go 0-16 and claim the first pick in the 2020 draft. What should we call this? Tanking for Tua? Failing for Fromm? Horrible for Hurts? Why any of those kids would declare to go pro to end up on the Miami Dolphins is beyond me. College is supposed to be for smart kids.

The bad news for the Dolphins is that there are 3 other teams who are also winless: the Bengals, Jets, and Redskins. The Dolphins have to play all of them (the Jets twice). With all of them no doubt also interested in getting a shiny new quarterback, it's going to be a fight for the bottom in 2019.

The good news is that none of those other teams started the season by jettisoning all their talent like the Dolphins did. Therefore, they're going to have to actually try to be worse than Miami. Can they do it? So far, it looks like the answer is no. They're bad. The Dolphins are terrible.

It's fitting that the only franchise with an undefeated NFL season should also own the absolute worst. The Dolphins have been outscored 163-26 in 4 games, a margin of -137. The worst point differential in NFL history, set by the woeful 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, was -287 (in 14 games). Child's play! The 2019 Dolphins are on pace to be outscored by 548 points. They are also looking to own NFL records for fewest points scored per game, most points surrendered per game, and yards allowed per game. Go Fins!

I'll be watching on Sunday when the Redskins visit Miami. While technically it is possible for the game to end in a 0-0 tie after one overtime period, I want to remind the Dolphins' coaching staff that NFL rules allow a team to force points to their opposition: A safety is worth 2 points. Be sure to score it late so the Redskins can't respond. Suckers.

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While we were on the way to a second place finish at trivia last week (where we learned that a flute is a woodwind instrument and a Philco Predicta was a television), friend Keith was amused by my phone lock screen and background. I assume that's because he is envious and would like to use them himself. So here you go, Keith.

If you like those, you might want my computer background image, too.

Ask yourself: is it vanity that I have my name and face all over my devices, or is it that I want everyone to know who they belong to?

(It's vanity.)

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To be continued...

 

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