Last night, Turner Classic Movies ran Robocop proving that it's a classic movie. Move over Citizen Kane.

In the year 2006, I ran my first post on Robocop, lamenting that the movie was then 17 years old. That was 15 years ago. I have to say that Robocop is aging better than I am. All of its themes about the runaway corruption of Capitalism, a government failing to protect its citizens, and the militarization of the police force are all still relevant today. Maybe more so.

And, of course, we still drink Coke.

Drink Coke! (Robocop)
Dead or alive, you're drinking a Coke!

Sooner or later, someone in Hollywood will remake this movie (again) with a female lead. And there will be a public outcry, because some things — like misogyny — are simply timeless.

P.S. Turner Classic Movies followed Robocop with an airing of Robocop 2, which is not as timeless. (I distinctly remember being very disappointed when I saw it on first release in the theater.) The first movie is a satire of modern society; the second, a parody of the first. You can tell it's an inferior model as soon as you see that the soda company product placement has been changed from Coca-Cola... to Pepsi. Ick.

P.P.S. I thought to myself, wouldn't it be fun to see all the Coca-Cola product placement screenshots I've taken in one place? Yes. Yes, it would be fun. So I made this page. Fun! (I even uploaded shots from both Clueless and Murder by Death I took only last week.)

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I feel like the recent announcement that Hasbro is dropping the "Mr." and "Mrs." from their Potato Head toys is something that I should be blogging about. It's exactly the sort of inconsequential bit of nostalgic pop-culture bullshit for an overgrown man-child to rant sarcastically about.

However, in 2021, if I make a joke about a plastic potato no longer having a penis, that means I qualify to be a panelist on Fox News. Good grief. (Fun fact: Fox News much prefers their plastic potatoes to have vaginas as God intended.)

These days, everything is a political weapon. From which fast food you have for lunch to which comic books you read to whether you take steps to prevent the spread of disease, every goddamn thing is now a cudgel that someone will use to drive their agenda against you.

Has it always been this way? Was I just not paying attention before? When did everyone get so sensitive? Wokeness is fucking exhausting. We could use some laughter to break this tension, but someone is sure to take that personally.

Way to suck the fun out of a toy, everybody.

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Movies 2020, part 3 in a series.

7. (1866.) Along Came Jones (1945)
It's a cute little Western film made all the more so by Gary Cooper playing a parody of a movie cowboy (clumsy, bad with a gun, confused by women, etc.) in the only film he ever produced. I'm lukewarm on Cooper as an actor, but I think that anyone would fund a movie making fun of his own on-screen persona can't be all bad.

8. (1867.) Munster, Go Home! (1966)
"In Unliving Color!" To take advantage of the first appearance of the Munster family in color (on the big screen), the entire family gets painted an unpleasant shade of green. It's distracting, but probably not more than Robert Pine playing the love interest with a very bad British accent.

9. (1868.) Murder Ahoy! (1964)
I saw all of the other Margaret Rutherford as Miss Marple movies in the early 90s, but I'd missed this one. The set is now complete, and I'm a little sad it is. I enjoy Rutherford's Marple above all others.

10. (1869.) Evil Under the Sun (1982)
Speaking of Agatha Christie sleuths, this features Peter Ustinov as Hercule Poirot. Ustinov was the first actor I ever saw playing Poirot, and he remains one of my least favorite actors in the role. Still, I love elaborate period mysteries like this one.

11. (1870.) Murder on the Blackboard (1934)
The sequel to Penguin Pool Murder has the same very odd cast. There's a third, too. If it's as much fun as the first two, I'm on board. (RKO b-movie mysteries are the best.)

12. (1871.) Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
Everyone wants to make their own Pulp Fiction, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, especially when you get a cast (and a setting) this good. I'm now convinced that Chris Hemsworth is a charismatic cult leader in real life.

More to come.

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Dogs are very territorial

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From the God Is Dead Department:

You may recall that when the cosmos needed him, Red Bee was resurrected from the grave to join the heroes in the fight against the evil gods manipulating all of time and space.

The heroes won that fight ('natch), and the universe was reset into its previous state, which in comic books really means multiple universes. In the aftermath of the fight, we got a peek at several of those alternate realities, including one that looked reasonably familiar to fans of super heroes active during World War II.

Hey, now, you're an all star!
Tales from the Dark Multiverse: Crisis on Infinite Earths #1, 2021

That's a lot of heroes! If you squint, you may be able to make out one fellow in particular wearing a red top with pink blousy sleeves. Here, I'll zoom in for you.

Stop looking up Fury's skirt!

In this reality, the Earth is threatened by Surtur, a Norse demigod destined to set the world on fire. That would be bad, so once again, the Red Bee flies into action against the sort of menace that would be a difficult slog for a whole team of gods, much less a part-time lawyer with a trained bee.

It goes about as well as you might expect.

Timber!

The bigger they are, the more bees they squish

His not to reason why, his but to do and die.

Poor Bee. No respect in any universe.

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I decided I needed something sweet to eat, so I made the Southern Living Chocolate Pound Cake with Chocolate Glaze. It's an easy recipe, and everything went great...

Until I moved the cake from the cooling rack to the serving dish for icing...

And dropped it.

Dammit. No cake for me.

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To be continued...

 

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