TCM has wisely decided that their Star of the Month for October 2026 is Myrna Loy. They've dedicated Mondays to Loy movies starting early today with her oldest surviving talkie:

118/2688. Noah's Ark (1928)

Technically, it's a "part-talkie," defined as films with synchronized sound but limited speaking scenes, the template established by Warner Bros' The Jazz Singer, released February 1928. (Loy has a silent cameo in that as a chorus girl!) The part-talkie format didn't last long; Warner's first "all-talking" picture, Lights of New York, came out in July of the same year. Loy made only five part-talkies, two before this and two after, but this is the only one with a surviving "talkie" soundtrack.

As you would expect from a film titled Noah's Ark, the climax of the film is a spectacular biblical flood. The rest, you might be surprised to hear, is a World War I romance preaching that humanity has learned its lesson about intolerance and will end all wars immediately. Whoops. The two halves don't really go together, and, worse, the dialogue is particularly ham-fistedly awful, like Hollywood had never bothered listening to people having actual conversations before they invented "talking" pictures.

Loy's part in Noah's Ark is not big. She's credited for two roles, but only one is identifiable in the existent film. She comes in at about the 53-minute mark and is on screen for only 39 seconds, emerging from behind the curtain of an improvised cabaret. For future reference, this is her whole part:

Myrna Loy as DANCER:
Why are you always staring at the soldiers? Who are you looking for?

Dolores Costello as MARIE:
Well, if you must know, I'm looking for an American soldier.

DANCER:
That ought to be easy. There are only two million of them over here.

MARIE:
Really? I thought there were more.

DANCER:
Now, tell me the sad story.

MARIE:
I don't think you'd be interested in my story.

Having seen your story, Marie, I can tell you that you're right. On the other hand, I'll be watching Myrna every Monday this month.

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104/2674. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006)
It's very accurate to describe this anime as a gender-swapped Groundhog Day (with a little Donnie Darko vibe). I found it quite charming.

105/2675. Chungking Express (1994)
I really didn't know what to expect from this, and I spent most of the film wondering why I was still watching it. Ultimately it's very much like one of Jim Jaramusch stream of consciousness films (Night Train springs to mind) and the influence on Tarantino is obvious. If nothing else, it's a great palate refresher for the typical Hollywood formula.

Production teams: This film has so many Coca-Cola products on screen, you'd think they bankrolled the whole thing.

106/2676. Beyond a Reasonable Doubt (1956)
This is a ridiculously contrived thriller in which a former newspaper reporter decides to frame himself for a murder because... well, with a setup like that, you can probably guess. The Big Twist Ending makes it all so, so stupid.

Screenwriters: When your detective pumps the strip club bartender for leads, have him order something stiffer than a Coke.

107/2677. Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)
A triumph of style over substance! They wanted it so badly, they should have just gone ahead and titled this Lady John Wick. It gets the candy-colored ultra-violence right but rings emotionally hollow. Wick cheated, of course, as a murdered dog guarantees audience buy-in; maybe I just care less about human children.

Set decorators: Coke advertising builds retro vibes, and the red foreshadows bloody violence!

108/2678. Appleseed (1988)
I'd read the manga, but this is the first time I'd seen the anime. As good as Ghost in the Shell is, this is not.

More to come.

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98/2668. Dames (1934)
You have to watch an hour of not very entertaining romantic comedy to get to the giant Busby Berkley finale play-within-a-play. But it's worth it.

99/2669. The Kid Detective (2020)
A dark, dark take on the elevator pitch "What happens to Encyclopedia Brown when he grow up?" It shares the cynical comedic sensibilities of Inherent Vice, and I'm sure it would horrify most Donald J. Sobol fans (which is kind of the point). I enjoyed it.

100/2670. The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026)
Despite what I'd read in reviews, I found this sequel more engaging than the first, probably because it leans harder into Easter Eggs from games deeper in the Mario Bros. canon.

101/2671. Gunga Din (1939)
I was constantly distracted by the studio's choice to have Indian Gunga Din played by a 40-year-old white man, which makes him seem more like someone with a mental handicap as opposed to an adventurous boy. Otherwise, Cary Grant is fine as a British sargent.

102/2672. Destination Tokyo (1943)
Cary Grant is also fine here as a U.S. Navy captain, though the too-long picture felt unfocused for a wartime submarine slice-of-life melodrama.

103/2673. The Man Who Laughs (1928)
This is the movie Bob Kane credits in his 1989 autobiography, Batman and Me, as the inspiration for the Joker in 1940's Batman #1. Specifically, "a 'photo-play' edition of [the Victor Hugo source novel], made from the screenplay," illustrated with a "photo of Conrad Veidt as Gynplaine." Given that almost everything else in Batman and Me is bullshit, this story probably is, too. (Kane couldn't even be bothered to verify that in the original French, Hugo named his character "Gwynplaine," which is how it is spelled on the silent film's English intertitle cards.) I don't care for the Joker, and neither did I care for this movie. Pacing is too slow in all the wrong parts, and I learned only after the fact that the unearned "happy" ending is a Hollywood rewrite of Hugo's original (but not particularly better) intent. At least now I've seen it and don't have to watch it again.

More to come.

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92/2662. Gambling on the High Seas (1940)
A newspaper reporter helps police capture a gangster running a crooked gambling den in international waters. It's a relatively shallow and straightforward gangster drama, but sometimes that's what you're in the mood for.

93/2663. The Sheep Detectives (2026)
I loved this. I mean, really loved it. The elevator pitch "Babe meets Knives Out" accurately describes it, but the characters really are all a delight to spend time with. Highly recommended (although Dad thought it was too cutsey, so you have been warned).

94/2664. Beat the Devil (1953)
Bogart plays one of a several anti-hero (or downright evil) opportunists planning to make a fortune in African uranium in this adventure story. This qualifies as a "dark comedy" by modern standards, though I would prefer the more honest descriptor "ironically subversive." Personally, I find "dark comedies" are almost always traditional tragedies which the filmmaker intends audience to laugh at instead of sympathize with, and I don't think that ever applies to Bogey.

96/2666. Day of the Evil Gun (1968)
Speaking of ironically subversive: this western is almost a direct attack on the philosophy of The Searchers. The title is actually a literal description of the seductive power of the killing machine that turns men into animals. IMDB labels this a "classical western," but I think it's every bit as revisionist as the greatest western ever made: Eastwood's The Unforgiven.

97/2667. Bang My Box: The Robin Byrd Story (2026)
A documentary about the charming host of a NYC public access television show. Smut or infotainment? You decide!

More to come.

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86/2656. It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958)
This sci-fi horror is essentially the same plot as Alien, which just goes to show how much of Alien's success is atmosphere (and Signorney Weaver).

87/2657. They Cloned Tyrone (2023)
Blaxploitation meets Twilight Zone. It's incredibly well done, with a great cast. Just brilliant.

88/2658. Blues in the Night (1941)
Does this musical really count as film noir? It's got the look and a protagonist put upon by fate (and a dead baby!), but it really feels more like a 1930s Warner Bros gangster movie than post-War noir.

89/2659. Little Miss Marker (1980)
A depression-era rom-com staring the unlikely pair of Julie Andrews and Walter Matthau. Matthau is great and the role is perfect for him, but I can't escape the impression that Julie Andrews could do better.

90/2660. Little Miss Marker (1934)
This is the Shirley Temple original with a similar premise but very different execution. I like the Matthau version better.

91/2661. Irma la Douce (1963)
Why is this movie so long? Why does lead Shirley MacLaine seem so indifferent to being in it? Must Jack Lemon be so annoying? I did not love it.

More to come.

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80/2650. Central Park (1932)
You could call this a run of the mill "slice of life" film focused on the people who cross paths in New York's Central Park, assuming your mill was populated by insane murderers, runaway tigers, beauty queen con artists, and the mob. TV Tropes reports this contains one of the earliest examples of "Retirony." In this case, poor cop Charlie is just one week away from his pension when... well, I did mention the insane murderers and the mob, right?

81/2651. Brass Target (1978)
An alternate history conspiracy movie that dares to ask the question: What if the auto accident that killed George Patton was orchestrated by disloyal army officers trying to cover up a gold heist? The answer involves a gun that fires broken machine parts. Don't go giving people ideas, Hollywood!

82/2652. Colossal (2016)
I didn't finish it. I watched as much as I could of Anne Hathaway "acting" like a self-destructive idiot until her friend group of self-destructive losers doubled down and I couldn't take it anymore. I read an online plot summary, and I got out while the getting out was still good.

83/2653. The Street Fighter (1974)
"Street fighter" Terry Sugury is established as a true asshole mercenary who kills clients who don't pay and sells women into the sex trade but draws the line at working a Yakuza assassination, instead vowing to defend the intended victim. She is kidnapped and he is nearly beaten to death in an attempted rescue. The climactic battle takes place on a boat in a rainstorm, and it is epic. Great grindhouse cinema.

Drink up, Terry.

84/2654. Return of the Street Fighter (1974)
"Street fighter" Terry Tsurugi — he's in three different movies in one year, and all three spell it differently — is up to his old tricks crushing the vocal cords of would-be mob informants until the yakuza decides he is the bigger danger and tries to have him killed. It's not as good as the first but is still plenty of fun thanks to its ridiculously over-the-top violence and gore.

Hide from the cops, Terry.

(I previously covered the ridiculous third Street Fighter movie here. There's no Coke in that one.)

More to come.

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75/2645. Stolen Face (1952)
A mad scientist gives the face of the woman he loves but can't have to a criminal whom he marries and tries to reform. It does not go well. The ending feels very unearned.

76/2646. The Eagle-Shooting Heroes (1993)
A bit like Airplane! for martial arts movies, the further it leans into the absurd the better it is.

77/2647. Stand By for Action (1942)
This war film thinks its a drama, but it's really a comedy. Amazingly, it crams every Hollywood naval cliche into one film.

78/2648. Texas Carnival (1951)
The setting and plot of this Red Skelton musical farce doesn't really have much to do with carnivals, but I think that's pretty standard for most Red Skelton films in which the "plot" is just a loose framework for typical Skelton shenanigans. I thought all the best bits were performed by others (Ann Miller, Ester Williams, Howard Keel, Keenan Wynn).

79/2649. The Hitch-Hiker (1953)
Not to be confused with The Hitcher, this one is about a hitchhiker who is really a gleeful murderer who seeks to torture the driver. What's that you say? Still confused? This is the one directed by Ida Lupino.

More to come.

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I have recently been wondering if I'm too hard on movies. The public seems to really enjoy some films I just can't stand. Recent examples include Project Hail Mary, Tom Holland's Spider-Man franchise, and anything by Christopher Nolan since Memento. Do I hate them only because they're popular? Am I watching them wrong? Is the problem me?

With that in the back of my mind, I just tried to watch

95/2665. Poor Things (2023)

And I really didn't care for it.

I'm still stinging from the ending of the previous Yorgos Lanthimos/Emma Stone collaboration, 2018's The Favourite, which featured an extended sound ("music" is the wrong word) crafted to make the audience as uncomfortable as possible, so I was never particularly enthusiastic for this. When Poor Things opens to a very similar noise, I knew I was in trouble. It killed any excitement I had mustered toward the 2+ hours in front of me, and from that point forward I was looking for a convenient exit, which I eventually found shortly after the one-hour mark (still several minutes short of halfway) when The Monster watched a sailor strangle a seagull for shitting on him.

Soundtrack aside, my bigger complaint is that Lanthimos and I strongly disagree on what should and should not be shown. Prude that I am, I'm still not talking about that bird or the many, many sex scenes. (They are not designed to titillate, but I did begin to question why so many of them? I would not be surprised if The Monster screwed that seagull killer in the next scene.)

This is self-evidently a cold fairy tale of a naive girl's coming-of-age story in a funhouse mirror society built to turn women into slaves (Frankenstein meets Jane Eyre, if you will). But if the goal is to engage the audience in a philosophical study of autonomy and feminism, take a lesson from, say, Edward Scissorhands and gloss over the details instead of spending the first quarter of the run time grounding The Monster's creation in quasi-science fiction. Like learning how hot dogs are made, the knowledge of pig intestines and rat assholes kills the magic, stripping away the allegorical veneer and leaving only an unresolved uncanny valley of the ethical questions about the nature of consciousness, control, and consent in the sexual behavior of those unable to understand those basic concepts. No, thank you.

Obviously, Ms. Stone had the time of her life acting her heart out in a one-of-a-kind role. Good for her. However, it has become increasingly clear that the parts that interest her to play are no longer the parts I care to watch. (I'd say "Never go full retard," but she did win her second Oscar for this. So you do you, girl.) Stone and Lanthimos have combined for two movies since this one; I have no intention of seeing either. Oh, well. At least I'll always have La La Land.

Sure, I could endure the second half to see if the movie sticks the landing. But this is an adventure story, and all adventure stories are move about the journey than the destination. If I'm not having fun or learning anything along the way, why should I bother going on that trip? Maybe I do just hate everything I see these days. Maybe I need to just get comfortable with that. But I definitely don't need to waste any more of my time on other people's crappy journeys.

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70/2640. Crack in the World (1965)
A mad scientist nukes the Earth's crust in the hopes of breaking it, and he succeeds, unleashing a series of earthquakes that threatens to destroy the whole world. It was dull, but I watched the hole thing.

Intense underground heat, Janette Scott? Have a pause that refreshes!

71/2641. The Crowded Sky (1960)
This airplane disaster film plays backwards, with most of the runtime devoted to introducing the characters who will die in the midair disaster, which comes very late. The many, many inner monologue voiceovers are intended to be dramatic but instead come across plane hilarious.

72/2642. Another Face (1935)
This one is also constructed backwards: it's a farce where the only person who has mistaken an identity is the gangster who has had plastic surgery and is trying to parlay his new beauty into Hollywood stardom. Helped greatly by its short runtime, this film nose not to overstay its welcome.

73/2643. The Great Waldo Pepper (1975)
The biplane-era aerial action is the only reason to keep watching this episodic story of the frequently unsatisfying life of an early barnstormer. Many of the episodes end with death; it's an a-salt on the nerves.

74/2644. Big Wednesday (1978)
A long time ago, I read that this American Graffiti-wannabe coming-of-age surfing tale from John Milius (screenwriter of Apocalypse Now and Red Dawn) was the film that Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas thought would be better received than Jaws and Star Wars. Goes to show what they know. Despite its killer cast (hello, Reb Brown!), the autobiographical nature of its themes results in a week narrative.

The 1960s changed America, but Coke soldiers on!

More to come.

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85/2655. The Street Fighter's Last Revenge (1974)

I watched the English language dub of this 1974 Sonny Chiba martial arts film released in America by New Line Cinema in 1979. The dub has terrible line reading and worse editing. The plot summary on Wikipedia wasn't helping me make sense of what was going on, so I took the following notes. Read at your own risk.

In Tokyo "one of the largest chemical manufacturing plants in the East" is embroiled in a workers' revolt. The riot squad is called in, and a "known syndicate Boss" calls an answering service for Terry Sugury (pronounced soo-goo-ree), offering to pay 50,000 in exchange for Sugury helping his brother, Owada, escape the plant with an attache case holding two cassette tapes.

Owada is seen shooting through a window at police. The riot squad enters the plant, and one Officer arrests Owada and secures the case. Instead of delivering Owada to the jail with the other rioters, Officer swaps cars. He removes his mask and reveals he is Sugury. ("Some people call me… The Street Fighter.")

Sugury drives Owada to a meeting with the syndicate. Sugury swaps cases with the syndicate representative only to find they have paid him with cut-up newspaper. Sugury grabs Owada by the neck and demands they give him back the tapes. An Enforcer wearing sunglasses and a fedora attacks Sugury while everyone else escapes with the tapes. Sugury wins the fight and reveals the Enforcer to be a woman he recognizes as employed by the District Attorney. (She: "Fool! What I'd like to do right now is cut your goddamn balls off and then send them to you for a birthday present!") He lets her go.

Some days later, Sugury confronts DA about his "girly spy with Owada." DA warns Sugury away from the syndicate. (DA: "I think that they're going to try to kill you." Sugury: "Sure is scary." DA: "Sure is.")

At a private meeting, a Buyer offers Boss a check for ¥1,000,000 for "the tape and the formula." Boss plays Tape A which explains that the two tapes (A and B) must be played together to reveal a formula for the manufacturing of synthetic heroin (for $200/pound).

Sugury runs down a staircase to his car, where he is confronted by the Enforcer. He tells her she isn't going to stop him from getting the tape. She offers to help, but Sugury refuses and leaves. She insults him again.

Back at the meeting, Buyer complains to Boss that he needs Tape B or his money back. Before Boss can produce either, Sugury crashes through a wall, seizes Tape A, tells the syndicate this is their own fault for trying to pay him with newspaper, and flees.

At a different location, Boss and Owada (now wearing a neck brace) discuss how to respond. Their sister, Aya, suggests assassinating Sugury. The siblings watch a televised demonstration of Mr. Black, a Mexican who can cut steel with his "inner power."

An answering service Operator relays to Sugury that Aya wants to meet at a dance club. He is instructed to come in disguise and agrees. ("I don't have a very good costume wardrobe, but I'll try to trick her.") The Operator also goes to the club, and Sugury rescues her from a pushy date. She begs Sugury for one dance before Sugury scares her away with his disguise: a set of vampire teeth.

DA watches as Sugury meets and dances with Aya, who seduces him. They go back to Sugury's apartment for sex and are interrupted when DA calls and threatens to kill the Operator if Sugury doesn't bring Tape A to an immediate meeting at the fair grounds. While Aya tries to get Sugury to stay, Black and his crew attack, revealing his "inner power" to be a laser attached to his belt. Aya tries to steal Tape A, but Sugury grabs it and meets DA, who exchanges the Operator for the tape. The two men fight; DA wins and escapes.

Sugury visits the busy dojo of Matsuoka, a karate master, to learn DA's fighting style. ("That's an old form from Korea named Cosmic Wave.") They fight, Sugury loses, and Matsuoka encourages Sugury to build his spiritual strength. Sugury has a flashback to his traitor father's execution by firing squad. ("Be a number one man!")

Meanwhile, DA tells his Superiors that for three weeks he has made no progress toward recovering the formula. They threaten his job.

Outside an apartment building at night, a Little Boy finds Sugury standing by himself and offers to play, but Sugury leaves to ambush DA in an elevator, knocking him out before carrying him to his apartment and forcing his Mother to turn over Tape A. ("Your son has been playing both sides of the coin. Now he is in trouble with the police. And me.") Sugury calls the police to tell them he has the tape.

Later, DA instigates a meeting with Boss to reveal that the Enforcer has acquired Tape B from Aya. DA wants to form an alliance to get Tape A back from Sugury. ("We can call our partnership Good and Evil Incorporated.")

Aya takes her Mercedes to a car wash. Sugury forces her inside the car where he explains that he heard "from the other girl" what Aya did with Tape B. Sugury claims to have real feelings for Aya and volunteers to sell Tape A back to Boss.

Sugury meets with the syndicate at their compound and sells Tape A for a gym bag of cash. As he leaves, the Enforcer argues that acquiring the tape was supposed to be her job. Despite being told she can keep it, she returns her fee. ("So it doesn't count what I say. You go around doing whatever you please and I get the shaft.") She follows Sugury to warn him that the syndicate is going to try and kill him. Their car is ambushed in a tunnel by syndicate gunmen and Black. The Enforcer charges Black, who shoots her and his own crew. She watches them blow up Sugury's car before dying.

The syndicate collects two large, heavy aluminum suitcases filled with money. A Motorcycle Cop intercepts their car and leads it to an auto wrecking yard where he removes his rubber mask and reveals he is really Sugury in disguise. Sugury proceeds to beat up the couriers while Aya watches from a distance.

Aya arrives to a meeting with Boss and DA just in time for one mortally injured syndicate Bodyguard to deliver the news that Sugury is alive and has stolen the money. DA warns that Sugury might next steal back the tapes, and Boss tasks Aya with recovering the cash.

Aya and Black confront Sugury at a mortuary. Black and Sugury fight. Sugury wins and incinerates Black in the crematorium. Aya begs Sugury for forgiveness, claiming not to know that Black was going to try and kill him. They take the money to a bedroom where Aya and Sugury have sex. The syndicate surreptitiously steals back the suitcases before Aya opens the door to Odawa who ambushes Sugury with a machine gun. Sugury steps on his neck brace, decapitating him. Aya and Boss escape by car, where Boss warns her not to double cross him. ("Why would I do anything to you?")

Boss plans to flee the country immediately by boat with all the money, cutting out the DA. But bad weather prevents departure, and DA arrives and fights the syndicate guards in the rain, ultimately killing Boss. He spares Aya. ("You're really a bitch. I'll give you one more chance.")

Sugury finds the boat and fights its crew. Then he puts something in Boss's car. Inside the mansion, DA and Aya have sex.

The next morning, Aya tries to poison DA but he is wise to her scheme. Just as he tries to make her drink the poison, Sugury breaks in and demands a rematch. They fight outside, down a cliff, across a field, under an airplane, through a wharf, to a pier. Sugury is knocked down, but when DA jumps for the kill, Sugury kills him with fingers to the gut.

Aya shoots Sugury in the shoulder, and he falls into the water. Aya tells him she never loved him. She loads the suitcases inro Boss's car. Sugury swims to shore and yells at her to stop, there's a bomb in the car. She starts the engine and the car blows up. Bits of money fly through the air, and Sugury watches it burn.

The end.

I have to admit that makes more sense than I was expecting.

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