27/2338. Guns Akimbo (2019)
Daniel Radcliffe's choice of offbeat roles continues to delight. He adds necessary empathy to this pretty dumb action film about a man who trolled the wrong guy on the Internet and ended up with guns bolted to his hands in an underground Mortal Kombat-style tournament. I look forward to where I might bump into Radcliffe next.

28/2339. Dear White People (2014)
As if you couldn't tell from the title alone, this is a very pointed comedic satire of race relations in the stuffier upper-echelons of higher education. It recognizes that there are no easy answers to society's stickier problems, which means the ending may not be the most satisfying. But it's certainly worth a watch.

29/2340. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)
This, on the other hand, should be watched by no one. To say that this is not my Aquaman is an understatement; I honestly hope it is no one's Aquaman. True story: I turned off the tv at the 2/3 mark when the bad guys killed Aquaman's father and kidnapped his baby because I thought that was the ending this movie deserved. Blech.

30/2341. Bangkok Dangerous (2008)
Nick Cage plays a cold-blooded assassin who can't keep his personal and professional lives apart as a job goes sideways in guess where. It's not great, but compared to Aquaman.... Damn, I hated Aquaman.

31/2342. A Little Romance (1979)
An antidote to bad action movies! This is a gentle coming-of-age romantic comedic adventure of two adolescents in Paris (and Venice) that any fan of Wes Anderson films will love. I sure did.

More to come.

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I don't mean to tell the King of the Sea his business, but he's doing it wrong.

Aquaman #1 (Jan-Feb 1962)

Yes, I am willing to accept the premise that Aquaman and Aqualad have been magically reduced to three inches in height by a water sprite (named Quisp!) in an attempt to save them from rampaging Inner Earth fire trolls.

And every DC fan knows that Atlanteans can only survive out of the water — salty or otherwise — for one hour, so obviously they need to get into this Army Jeep's radiator to stay alive. (Antifreeze poisoning? Never heard of it.)

Yet I just can't get past the fact that Aquaman doesn't know how to open a radiator cap.

My suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

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Perhaps I might have enjoyed the Aquaman movie if it had been more grounded in reality like the comic books.

from "Aquaman Duels the Animal-Master!" Adventure Comics #261 (1959)

Oh. Nevermind.

(In the following issue, he also has control of seagulls. First fish, then mammals, then birds. I'm sure that hydrocephalic babies are next. Logically, that's called a slippery slope argument. Aquaman probably controls that, too.)

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They can stop making super hero movies now.

53. (1492.) Aquaman (2018)

What a film. Those underwater effects, especially that CGI hair! That chemistry between the male and female leads! And all that that murder! (Our heroes kill, what, hundreds? Thousands? Bah, they had it coming! Get 'er done!) I don't have the words. Simply indescribable.

I suppose if I wanted to pick at nits, I could ask how someone with skin strong enough to resist grenade blasts could get a chest full of tattoos. Or why he wears his boots in the water. Or why he can swim faster by not kicking his legs. Or how he knows the secret Atlantean technique to spin a trident that his brother, the trained Atlantean warrior, doesn't. Or many, many other things. But Aquaman doesn't care about such things. Who's got time for details when you've got a whole ocean of things to kill, dude bro!

Hands down, my favorite quote was when Aquaman was riding in his girlfriend's magical underwater car and says "Shit happens." Boy, does it!

Good luck topping that, Shazam!.

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