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What else is there to say about a game that UGA won, 66-27?

UMass 27, UGA 66

For one thing, it looked like the team was enjoying themselves. It sure felt like *everybody* got a touchdown.

And UMass scored on a 1 second drive to end the third quarter. That was impressive.

And in honor of Veterans Day, the band played songs for all branches of the armed forces at halftime (pictured above).

And Nick Chubb and Sony Michel were in the house. Each received a standing ovation when introduced.

And, boy, did I enjoy my Coca-Cola and pretzel. Delicious!

Also of note: This was Friend Mike's second UGA game. He has now attended more UGA games than Alabama games. That's a good thing.

Now bring on Georgia Tech.

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Movies watched in July, part three:

133. (1362.) Executive Suite (1954)
Thanks largely to a fantastic cast, I found this to be a very entertaining board room drama. Also: Coke!

Drink Coke! (Executive Suite)
I can see what's going through your mind, Bill Holden, and it looks like Coca-Cola.

134. (1363.) The Colossus of Rhodes (1961)
The Colossus of Rhodes is my favorite ancient wonder. This movie, however, is more boring than counting sand.

135. (1364.) The Little Hours (2017)
It takes time for this "comedy" based on The Decameron to get to the funny, but I eventually chuckled in spite of myself. Or maybe I was just desperate for entertainment following The Colossus of Rhodes.

136. (1365.) Fast and Loose (1939)
This husband/wife mystery/comedy wants so badly to be The Thin Man. It's not. All it did was remind me that I could have been watching The Thin Man instead.

138. (1367.) Won't You Be My Neighbor? (2018)
Mom was eager to see this documentary of Fred Rogers, and I was glad I went with her. It's so, so good. I recommend it to anyone interested in Mr. Rogers or the history of television or, for that matter, historical American pop culture.

By the way, remember the letter I wrote to the editor of The Red and Black in 2003 that I posted last week? Here's the Mack Williams cartoon that ran above the editorials in that day's paper:

Last Trolly out of town

More to come.

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Movies watched in July, part two:

125. (1354.) Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)
Should I have seen this before now? Yes. But boy, howdy, am I glad I didn't. At least Robert Vaughn got a paycheck.

126. (1355.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)
I was told that this sequel was better than its predecessor. Maybe it is, but it's hard to tell when the bar is so low. Maybe I'm getting too old for this shit.

127. (1356.) C.C. & Company (1970)
A run of bad movies continues with this biker exploitation film notable only for its inclusion of "Broadway" Joe Namath. Namath plays the "best" of a band of idiot bikers fighting over Ann Margaret. (They make a good couple. Neither can act.) The movie starts with an extended sequence of Namath stealing promoting name brand products in a grocery store. I only mention that because this:

Drink Coke! (CC & Company)
Coke supports your right to ride! (But keep it clean.)

128. (1357.) Incredibles 2 (2018)
I didn't find this quite as satisfying as the original, but I still really, really enjoyed it. I will be watching it again.

129. (1358.) Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974)
There aren't a whole lot of Eastwood films I haven't seen, and now there's one less. It's hard to sum up this road / bromance / heist / revenge / adventure / suspense / dramedy film in one sentence. Instead, I'll just show you the good stuff:

Drink Coke! (Thunderbolt and Lightfoot)
The Daisy Wagon is proud to serve Coca-Cola to children.

130. (1359.) Countdown (1967)
Robert Altman directed this very un-Robert Altman-like fictional depiction of the first man on the moon. There's too much talent in front of and behind the camera to make a film this boring.

131. (1360.) Captain America: Civil War (2016)
I had avoided this for years because I didn't like the first two. It was as bad as I expected. I admit that the fight between the heroes at the airport was great fun. It's a shame the fun was sandwiched between a contrived premise and a moronic ending.

More to come.

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I'm sorry that there has been no post in the past few days. Coca-Cola announced that President Trump's indiscriminate aluminum tariffs are raising the price of soft drinks. As a result, I've been in mourning.

Forget P.O.W. bashing, pussy grabbing, and an inability to tell the truth about anything. When you fuck with Coca-Cola, you're fucking with America.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm out to stock up on apple pie and baseball before things get worse.

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I had a friend over to the house for an afternoon of gaming yesterday, and I very graciously offered him a Coca-Cola. He poured an entire 12-ounce can into a glass with ice... and then he only drank half of it! He poured half a Coke down my sink! Oh, the humanity!

If that's the game he wants to play, so be it. You'll never sink my battleship now, asshole.

Southern Hospitality only extends so far.

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At last! The final batch of movies watched in March:

59. (1288.) The Magnetic Monster (1953)
Mid-century cautionary tale about the unknown dangers of splitting the atom. It starts like a documentary, though it mostly plays like stale drive-in cliche. Not entirely terrible, but hardly a classic.

60. (1289.) Death Wish (2018)
Also not a classic. I've seen all the Bronson Death Wish movies multiple times, and none of them are quite as dumb as the movie Bruce Willis finds himself in. I'm not entirely sure whether this interpretation of Kersey was a bumbling idiot because the writer/director/studio wanted to downplay the danger of a self-appointed vigilante a gun or whether they just think most people are that foolish. *shrug*

61. (1290.) Johnny Handsome (1989)
A mad scientist gives a disfigured criminal a new face, but he can't fix his broken heart! No, seriously. Lance Henriksen, Ellen Barken, and Morgan Freeman play comic book villains, but this hokum comes across surprisingly earnest thanks entirely to Mickey Rourke. Not bad for a crime movie of its era.
(Footnote: early in the film, Henriksen is driving through the streets of New Orleans and a Coca-Cola storefront sign is visible out his rear window. As the sign clearly wasn't placed for the shot, I don't think it qualifies as product placement, so no screenshot appears here. But it is clearly a Coca-Cola sign so I'm still talking about it.)

62. (1291.) The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band (1968)
Kurt Russell is the only actor I've seen in multiple movies so far this year. Here in 1968, he plays a pre-teen member of the title band (headed by Walter Brennan and Buddy Ebsen). Forty-seven years later, in 2015's Bone Tomahawk, he played an aging Old West sheriff. I'm glad he's still acting. In both roles he was great. This entire movie was pretty enjoyable, in fact, with good songs and a tight (if slight) story. There's a reason the Disney brand has been so strong for so long.

63. (1292.) Walkabout (1971)
Two children become lost in the Australian Outback and are saved by a young aborigine. Was anyone truly saved? Is the film being cynical, honest, or allegorical? It's like the Apocalypse, Now! of coming-of-age movies. The only thing I'm sure it's saying is that everyone goes through their own life alone. Honestly, I watch a lot of movies and rarely come across anything as weird and haunting as this. I'll remember Walkabout for a long time.

More to come.

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More March movies:

54. (1283.) Weekend at Bernie's (1989)
Man, it must be fun to play a corpse. Bernie seems to be having a ball in this surprisingly-lighthearted-considering-the-subject-matter farce. I enjoyed it in part because of the always delightful Catherine Mary Stewart and in part because everyone in this film seems to be enjoying a Coke!

Drink Coke! (Weekend at Bernies)
Bernie is the one person in the movie who doesn't drink Coke!

55. (1284.) Charlie Varrick (1973)
I read afterwards that Walter Matthau didn't like this crime thriller, calling it too confusing. I have to agree. I thought I was paying attention, but I still didn't understand what was going on at the climax until after reading about the movie on IMDB. (I don't think it was entirely my fault, either. It's hard to puzzle out deeper character motivations when every other man onscreen is thinking only about money and sex and every women onscreen is there just to be paid for sex. Charlie Varrick doesn't live in a very deep world.)

56. (1285.) The Chase (1966)
This is another of those "narrowly misses being a great movie" movies. As always, it's not entirely clear why this fails, though I think it's mostly because there is nothing to hold onto in the first two acts. The audience needs a protagonist that, if not a genuine surrogate, is at least worth rooting for. If that character is missing or unclear, there can be no investment and the action slides by indifferently, like water in a muddy creek. In other words, having a cast of great actors isn't a substitute for having a cast of great characters.

57. (1286.) Bone Tomahawk (2015)
Aaaah! What is this? A western? A horror film? A character study? The weird genre mix takes some getting used to. (I assure you, whatever you think you're watching, you are NOT ready for act three.) Pretty good if you've got a strong stomach.

58. (1287.) Doctor Faustus (1967)
This, on the other hand, is not good. I mean, it's faithful to the famous 400-year-old play. But Richard Burton's Faustus seems more obsessed with Elizabeth Taylor than power or whatever he sold his soul to his devil for. Let's call this a curiosity strictly for theater people or Burton/Taylor enthusiasts and leave it at that.

And lest you think we've finally finished with March movies, no, we haven't. I watched 25 in all, meaning we sill five to go. More to come.

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Since I obviously don't have much else to say right now, let's just keep going with movie reviews, shall we?

50. (1279.) Straight Outta Compton (2015)
Nostalgia is insidious! I distinctly recall that I was no fan of "gangsta" rap back in the day, but watching this movie I caught myself thinking how much better NWA was than the hip hop I've heard recently. That realization made me ask myself whether I like the older music just because it's more familiar? By the same regard, did I enjoy this movie, or did I just enjoy revisiting my past? Dammit! Fuck you, nostalgia.

51. (1280.) Power Rangers (2017)
Another nostalgia trip, if you liked Power Rangers on TV, I don't see why you wouldn't like it here. Unless you hate Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I admit this product placement feels a little too forced.

52. (1281.) Macon County Line (1974)
A different sort of nostalgia for the Korean War generation, this unnecessary bit of youth-in-revolt thriller cinema was written by The Beverly Hillbillies' Jethro, filmed with southern California standing in for Georgia, and probably shouldn't be watched by anyone. I share this piece of product placement as a public service announcement:

Drink Coke! (Macon County)
That Coke is the only good thing to happen to him in the whole movie.

53. (1282.) Return to Macon County (1975)
Macon County made its producers a lot of money, so the next year they came back with this, a sequel in name only. This one stars before-they-were-famous actors Nick Nolte and Don Johnson as drag race wannabes. (I was more excited to recognize the gun-happy waitress as Robin Mattson, the sister-in-law of the titular "Ricky" in one of the best episodes of The Incredible Hulk.) Don't let all that star power excite you, this is just as boring as its predecessor, though this was at least filmed in Georgia, which might explain why Coca-Cola doubled down on the product placement.

Drink Coke! (Return to Macon County)
Smile, boys. You're having a Coke!

That's still not the end of March movies!. More to come.

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Hey, look! March movies, part 2:

44. (1273.) Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison (1957)
I really enjoy Robert Mitchum movies, which is a good thing here as he's one of only two principal actors in the cast. Pretty good.

45. (1274.) The Marriage-Go-Round (1961)
This is as risque as sex comedies got in the early 60s. I sure like the idea of Julie Newmar throwing herself sexually at an intelligent man, but the one-note concept wears thin long before the movie finally gives out.

46. (1275.) Hercules (2014)
Everyone knows that Hercules was more myth than man. What this movie presupposes is... maybe he wasn't? Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson doesn't look very Greek to me in this big, dumb action film. I admit that I watched it mostly on fast forward.

47. (1276.) Five Star Final (1931)
Edward G. Robinson plays a tabloid newspaper editor who hounds an accused murderess, driving her and her new husband to suicide and ruining the life of their daughter. Very cynical. I loved it.

48. (1277.) The Blue Lagoon (1980)
Yes, the story is crap, a transparent excuse to justify prurient admiration of the beautiful bodies of a young girl and boy, but at least the cinematography is generally well crafted. Pornography can be art. This movie isn't ("Hey, look! Those turtles are fucking, just like us!"), I'm just pointing out that it's possible.

49. (1278.) Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964)
Director Robert Aldrich saw that his Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? made a lot of money so he decided to make it again, this time adding a dash of Gaslight. Not a success.

However, the intended re-pairing of enemies Bette Davis and Joan Crawford (who was recast after the drama got to be too much) did result in one very intentional bit of Coca-Cola product placement, so the story goes. Because Crawford had married into an executive position at Pepsi, Davis had Coca-Cola machines on set. In addition, she had a Coke truck drive across a shot to obscure a scene intended for Crawford.

Drink Coke! (Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte)
Drink up, bitch!

More to come.

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Another advertisement also spotted in the March 1, 1918 edition of The Newnan Herald:

My dear Mr. Sears: I have been waiting patiently to see my Chero Cola calendar pictures but as yet in vain. Please let me know the minute they are ready for distribution. Now I am going to ask a great big favor of you. Is it possible for me to have this original painting? Oh, I'd be just so proud and pleased if I could have it, and would give it the place of honor in my home. With my very best wishes for the continued success of Chero Cola and for you a very Merry Xmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year. Sincerely, Ruth Roland

Pay close attention to that last part:

"THESE CALENDARS WILL NOT BE GIVEN TO CHILDREN."

Why not? Kids love cola. Kids need to know the days of the week.

What "special pose" could sweet, dear Hollywood darling Ruth Roland, star of The Matrimonial Martyr, The Devil's Bait, and The Neglected Wife, be showing that's so inappropriate for the little tykes of Newnan?

Suck it

Well, I never! Get that thing out of your mouth, you floozy! Scandalous!

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To be continued...

 

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