Today, Friends Ken and James dragged me to a movie theater to watch

78/2510. Superman (2025)

It's the first time I've seen Superman in a theater since Superman Returns (which I really, strongly dislike). And I have to say... it's okay.

To explain why my rating is more-or-less "meh," may I remind you that a few years ago, there was a then-new movie adaptation of the book Emma (which I really, strongly love). But the reviewers for that movie kept harping on how accurate to the Jane Austen source material it was, which, in hindsight, only proved that they themselves weren't particularly familiar with the source material. Maybe they read the Cliff's Notes version.

This Superman is kind of like that.

Sure, it's got a lot of silly comic-booky elements, but it really is a typically James Gunn script that isn't particularly interested in being accurate to any characterizations, stories, or even costumes that have ever appeared in the pages of any DC Comics. (Particularly Krypto. I just couldn't get past Krypto being a shaggy, simple-minded dog. In the comics, he is neither, and, as much as I love dogs, this movie never gives me a reason to forget that. And don't even get me started on the character assassination of Supergirl in service to what must have been a Superboy and the Ravers fanboy in-joke.)

All the reviews for the movie, both good and bad, praise both Lois Lane and Krypto. I certainly agree about Rachel Brosnahan, who was as underused as Lois always is, but I find it surprising that more aren't singling out Mister Terrific being terrific (in a modern take of a blaxploitation superhero). There are several moments where it actually feels like his movie and I am there for it.

But I recognize that all of the things I have to complain about are more a feature than a bug of these sorts of blockbuster movies, especially in the superhero genre. Gunn's muddled plot moves real fast and hopes you wont notice that nothing really lines up, a fact that Gunn himself lampoons with a final post-credit scene. If that sort of tongue-in-cheek metafictional humor floats your boat, this is definitely for you.

Even though Superman often seems superfluous in his own movie, it still is the best live-action Superman film in 40 years. Take that however you will.

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If you can get past how Superman prances to save the train at the start of the trailer for the 1948 serial (Superman's first movie!), you'll hear him say that he can travel 2,000 miles in 30 seconds. That's 67 miles per second. That's fast! Not speed of light fast, but still definitely much faster than a speeding locomotive, which in the 1940s was something like 0.04 miles per second.

Trains are faster now, but so is Superman. In Superman: The World, released last week, mild-mannered Clark Kent takes a commercial flight to Metropolis from Los Angeles. Since we know that Metropolis is close to New York City, we can assume Metropolis is about 2,800 miles from Los Angeles. Google tells me a commercial flight between the two cities takes about 5.5 hours, meaning an average travel speed of 509 miles per hour, or 0.14 miles per second, more than three times faster than a speeding locomotive!

But I don't mention that because Superman now has access to jet flight. In the story, he claims to be able to "fly to Alpha Centauri and back in the time it takes to get from L.A. To Metropolis." Alpha Centauri is 2.45 light years away from Earth, meaning Superman would have to travel at an average speed of 2,531,670,000 miles per second to get there an back in 5-and-a-half hours. By comparison, the speed of light is a measly 186,282 miles per second.

Physically impossible? Maybe. But we are talking about Superman.

My point is that I think it's past time we stopped comparing Superman's speed to trains.

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On Friday, Major League Baseball, Warner Bros, the New York Yankees, and DC Comics came together in an orgy of corporate synergy to distribute these free to fans attending the Yankees/Orioles baseball game:

Judge homered in the game (which the Yankees ended up losing 5-3), but as MLB.com reports:

As for the bobbleheads? They were a hot item, distributed to the first 18,000 guests through the Stadium’s gates, but even the man of honor said he had yet to receive one.

"I haven’t seen it. I didn’t get one down here," Judge said, with a grin. "I've got to make a phone call."

Don't worry, Aaron. You don't want one. They messed up the "S."

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It's not uncommon these days to hear someone say that they wish comics today were apolitical like the comics of their youth. Well, I was 8 when DC Comics Presents #62 came out in 1983 (Reagan's America!), and the plot of that comic was that a group of neo-Nazis planned to destroy the Constitution of the United States, demoralizing American society until it collapsed inward to "Racial Hatred... Mob Violence" which the Nazis would then graciously offer to save us from... for the bargain price of our souls. Obviously, that story has absolutely no political message. Silly me.

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Today is the first day of the annual Metropolis Superman Celebration in Metropolis, Illinois. (The first was in June 1979, but it was canceled in 2020, so this is the... 46th?) And this year they've got Dean Cain! (For the third time.)

However, if you think that you're going to go just to shake Mr. Cain's hand and tell him hos much you enjoyed Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, think again.

Per supermancelebration.net:

Must I purchase an autograph or photo when I meet the celebrity?

While the celebrities love to meet their fans and hear their stories, there is an expectation from their accompanying managers that everyone in the line will want to purchase an autograph or selfie.

So know that Mr. Cain is really a super nice guy, but his manager.... Grr. What a dick.

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Kryptonite

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Superman #18, Sept/Oct 1942

Super-mansplaining.

In addition to its timeless cautionary tale about underestimating lying Nazi scum, Superman #18 also has a message for members of the Supermen of America Club. Using their Superman Secret Code card and "Code Mars No. 3" (which is an easily cracked simple Caesar cipher substitution where the offset is 3 letters to the left), club members learned "STRENTH, COURAGE, AND JUSTICE WILL SEE US THROUGH!" Democracies might be gullible, but at least no one can make us use spellcheck!

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You can currently buy a 30-count box of these on Amazon for $18.49 (a mere 62¢ a pack!):

Please note that those are "candy sticks," not "candy cigarettes." The distinction is important, not because candy cigarettes are illegal in America (they are, in fact, very legal,^[1] so legal, in fact, that most of the world's supply is made here^[2]), but because Superman hates smoking so much, he once killed a cigarette peddler.^[3]

^[1] Per Wikipedia: "In the United States, it was reported erroneously in 2010 that the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act [of 2009] bans candy cigarettes. However, the law bans any form of added flavoring in tobacco cigarettes other than menthol; it does not regulate the candy industry."

^[2] Per Thrillist.com: "These days the manufacturers of candy cigarettes are small and secretive. New Jersey-based World Confections Inc. is the primary manufacturer, and the only big one left." And yes, World Confections Inc. is the manufacturer of these Superman Candy Sticks.

^[3] Rest in Peace, Nick O'Teen. I posted video of the assassination on June 5, 2018).

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Welcome to the 19th annual Wriphe.com Superman Month!

This year, the hype is real, as James Gunn's much anticipated Superman movie is just around the corner. Are you all excited? Am I excited? Are we excited?

No, seriously. I'm asking. I don't know.

In full disclosure, I still haven't watched any of the trailers. (Have there been more than one?) Nothing personal, Mr. Gunn, but I just don't care for trailers. Some of them give away too much, and others are just plain misleading. Personally, I prefer to make my decisions based on poster art.

Yeah, okay. I'll probably watch that.

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McFarlane Toys recently announced a new line of Batman cowl replicas. The "replica" in the name is important, because these cowls have never been worn by the actual Batman.

My topmost bookshelf currently showcases a Golden Age Superman statue, a battery-powered Star Trek TOS starship Enterprise, a Judge Dredd badge with my name on it, V.I.N.cent, Captain Carrot, and Booster Gold inaction figures and a life-size Batman Begins Halloween pail. The red-headed stepchild there is the Halloween pail. I'm not a big fan of the Batman Begins version of Batman, and it would be nice to replace the piercing gaze of that blue-eyed plastic pail with something less horrifying.

The new McFarlane cowls represent the 1966 television Batman, the 1989 movie Batman, and the 1993 comic book Batman. I like the idea of them, but I cannot bring myself to order one. For one thing, as I mentioned, they are stiff plastic replicas. More importantly, they are only 1:3 scale.

As everyone knows, the average American's head is about 9.5 inches high. (Batman is slightly larger than the average American, so assume his head is closer to 10 inches tall, not counting the pointy ears.) That means that a 1:3 scale cowl would only fit a 3-inch tall head! The packaging says they're about 7 inches tall with stand and pointy ears. If I put a 3-inch hood on my shelf, I'm worried it won't look so much like a Batman tribute as something I stole it from a racist Smurf.

So for the time being, I guess I'm sticking with plastic Christian Bale. On the bright side, his head can hold several bags of Halloween candy, and that's not nothing.

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