Action Comics #582, September 1986

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Superman #198, April 1976

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47/2358. So Proudly We Hail! (1943)
The main narrative of this melodramatic romance is very dull (despite the male half being George Reeves), but the background situation of a group of American nurses trapped in Bataan as the Japanese war machine begins to roll through in the Philippines at the start of World War II is quite riveting. It's all utterly horrible, and from what I've read, reality was worse.

Side note: since this is Superman Month, it's probably worth noting that there is a recurring bit in this in which one of the American soldiers is repeatedly referred to as Superman. (Fun fact: it is NOT the character played by George Reeves.) The events are set in 1941, and Superman would have been only 3 at the time. (He was barely 5 when the film was released!) This was a Paramount picture, and Paramount was also responsible for the brilliant Max Fleisher Superman cartoon shorts that debuted in 1940. So the name-dropping here counts as brand synergy product placement! You! Ess! Ay!

48/2359. Crimes of Fashion: Killer Clutch (2024)
Sadly, Hallmark mysteries don't always hit the mark. All the characters in this whodunit act like idiots so that the romance between the protagonist, a fashion psychologist, and the French policeman can get more screentime. The conclusion is particularly ridiculous. What's the haute couture world's equivalent of "two thumbs down"?

49/2360. Mean Girls 2 (2011)
Speaking of two thumbs down: this made-for-TV cash-grab sequel is inferior in all ways to its predecessor, especially the script, cinematography, and editing. But also the casting, costumes, acting, direction, stunts, and setting. (It's Atlanta! Standing in for Ohio?) Even the title, which should have been "Meaner Girls." (In this case, they nonchalantly commit crimes.) About the only thing the movie got right was the product placement.

Mean Girls drink Diet Coke

Meaner Girls drink Coke Zero

50/2361. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Darker and less satisfying than previous instalments in this franchise, I would probably be hating on this movie if not for the scene-stealing Cosmo, a talking dog obsessed with being "good." Seriously, cut out the rest and just fast forward to the Cosmo scenes... or go watch this YouTube video.

More to come.

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Today's Science Lesson from Batman, the Science Fan:

from "It's A Bird... It's a Plane... It's Supermobile!", Action Comics #481, 1978

If a man dressed like a bat says it, it has to be true.

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The 2024 Metropolis Superman Celebration officially starts today with an appearance by an actual (movie) Superman!

Tomorrow's "Featured Guest" is Brandon Routh. Yes, I'm on record as hating Superman Returns, but I certainly don't blame Routh for that trainwreck. (It's just a terribly misguided script.) He was pretty darn good in the role of "New Christopher Reeve." And, of course, his beautiful blue eyes were so striking that they stopped bullets.

youtu.be/TtbILQbQAa8?si=5017QhkDFj5RTdAu

As I mentioned at the time, both Routh and one of this year's "Special Guests," Mark Pillow, made their first appearance at the Celebration in 2011. Maybe Routh and Pillow, who played Nuclear Man in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, have bonded over being in awful Superman movies. Or maybe they just have the same agent.

If you were unaware, there's another Superman movie in the works right now with David Corenswet in the title role, so we can certainly expect him at future Celebrations. You've probably never heard of Corenswet, but had you heard of Routh before he played Superman? I don't think I had. Granted, I'm really bad with names and faces. Maybe you're better.

You do you, whatever your name is.

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Welcome to June, the 18th annual Wriphe.com Superman Month!

I'm typing this without my left index finger, which I cut while washing my car. (I'll never make that mistake again. Stay dirty, car!) My injury made me wonder when was the first time in comics we actually see Superman bleeding. So I went looking.

As you can see in the above panel from his two-page origin story published in Superman #1, Summer 1939, Superman's skin was essentially impenetrable from the get-go, so the opportunities for him to visibly bleed have always been few and far between.

If those aforementioned bursting shells led to any bloodshed, it was always hidden by smoke and debris. When Superman needed to give blood to save Lois Lane's life in 1940's Superman #6, he had to give the doctor a hand. Literally.

But that wasn't technically an injury, so I kept looking for something that could hurt Superman that wasn't Superman.

Magic was an early weakness (bloodlessly stealing Superman's powers multiple times in 1942), but Kryptonite wasn't introduced into the comics until 1949 in Superman #61. (Like many elements of the Superman mythos, Kryptonite first appeared in 1943 on the Adventures of Superman radio show.) It usually just made Superman weak and fall down. He doesn't even scrape his knees.

March 1960's Action Comics #262 would introduce Superman's immediate weakness under a red sun. In that issue Clark Kent gets stung by a bee for the first time. Two years later, a bare-knuckle boxing match against Lex Luthor on the planet Lexor under a red sun would give Superman a face full of bruises, but still no visible blood. This might be because beginning in 1954, the Comics Code Authority strictly forbid showing, among many other things, "All scenes of horror, excessive bloodshed, gory or gruesome crimes, depravity, lust, sadism, masochism." Bloodless injuries were no longer optional.

Action Comics #49, June 1942

The code would relax beginning in 1971, and by the time Superman was beaten to "death" by Doomsday in 1993's Superman #75, blood was everywhere. (The 90s were a violent time.) Unfortunately for Superman, the Code was nowhere to be found on the cover of 1978's All New Collectors' Edition #C-56, better known as "Superman Vs. Muhammad Ali." In that issue, following a different boxing match under a red sun, Superman gets beaten so badly by Ali that he bleeds all over his pillow. If there's a lesson here, it's probably that Superman should give up boxing.

For whatever reason, that bloody pillow was removed in a re-colored 2010 reprinting. But that's okay. I'm sure it wasn't the first time Superman unwillingly bled on panel anyway. Because after four (delightful) hours of looking through comics and comics websites, I found this sequence in 1976's Superman #297:

Ouch! Be careful where you put those fingers, Superman.

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Before you ask, no, I do not intend to play the new Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League video game. I have no desire to play a villain who kills heroes like Superman, and, frankly, I'm a little disturbed that Warner Bros thinks there is enough money to be made by people who do have such a desire that they allowed such a game to be made.

I am willing to concede that there are some people the world would be better without. I recognize there is a role in human society for people who are willing to execute those people. Although I believe a strong ethical argument can be made against it and a perfect world wouldn't need it, capital punishment has its place in what passes for modern "civilization."

As a fan of crime movies and video games, I am also willing to admit that watching a nefarious ne'er-do-well pay the ultimate price for his misdeeds can sometimes be a thrill in a story well told. But that's not because I enjoy seeing people die; it's because I believe in justice. Crime doesn't pay, and villains should never win.

I shouldn't need to say this, but Superman isn't a villain.

Maybe Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League has some great gameplay mechanics and stunning graphics. But any story that warps the Man of Steel into a selfish monster deserving of execution is not one that I want to read, much less play. That's not a game; that's a tragedy.

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Mom spent most of the past month touring the Western and Midwestern United States, visiting sites like Rocky Mountain National Park, Devil's Tower, Yellowstone, Deadwood, Mount Rushmore, and my personal favorite, Metropolis, Illinois.

Yes, she is wearing gold shoes. She always dresses up when meeting famous people.

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Something tells me that three dollars' worth of hang-ups aren't as super as they used to be.

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Last week, TCM ran a documentary on early 20th-century filmmaker Oscar Micheaux. I've seen at least parts of a few of Micheaux's films, including his response to Birth of a Nation earlier this year. I didn't include the documentary in my most recent movie reviews because I typically like to work my way through what I watch chronologically. However, we are running out of June, and I really should cover this one before the calendar turns to July.

59/2225. Oscar Micheaux: The Superhero of Black Filmmaking (2021)

As you can see from the title, documentarian Francesco Zippel really plays up the superhuman efforts that Micheaux had to perform to get his films about Black American life and starring Black Americans shown to (mostly Black) audiences. The film focuses on Micheaux's works and achievements but is light on actual biographical details of the man himself, admitting that many aspects of the man's personal life are unclear.

But what motivates me to post this during Superman Month is that Micheaux was born to a freed former slave in Metropolis, Illinois! That was 1884, about 90 years before the city embraced its tenuous connection to the Superman mythos.

The documentary concludes with a lamentation that Metropolitans would choose to erect a giant statue to a fictional hero instead of a true native son. But to be entirely fair, Micheaux was public about the social struggles of his early life in Metropolis, and he left town for good at the age of 17. On the other hand, everyone knows that once Superman moved to Metropolis, he stayed there.

A statue might be a bit much, but at the very least, you'd think they'd give him a plaque. Or a star on the sidewalk. If it's good enough for D.W. Griffith....

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