What with the rampant street crime, organized gangs of psychotics, and corrupt officials, no one in their right mind would want want to live in Gotham City.

"The Lawmen of the Sea," Batman #20, 1943

Three suicide attempts a week? That seems like a lot, even for New York Gotham City. What does the internet have to say about that?

From www.nj.com: The three jumps [from the George Washington Bridge] in less than a week's time [week of June 18, 2012] is not typical, [Port Authority Spokesman] Della Fave said. "It's been a tough year on the bridge," he said.

Overall, the New York City Department of Health and Human Hygiene reports that the city's suicide rate was 6 in 100,000 citizens in 2011. Compare that to the national average of 12 in 100,000. The city with the highest rate is flat, dry Las Vegas, with 35 in 100,000.

It sounds like if Batman is really interested in making a difference, he should spend some time in Sin City.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: batman comic books death seduction of the innocent statistics

How did super heroes get their super powers in the Golden Age? By drinking potions carelessly mixed by ignorant children, of course.

Clearly, Bob here has the disposition required to make a good hero. It makes sense that this fellow would go on to name himself "The Black Terror" because it was the only costume that the costume shop had in stock that day.

But don't worry about little Tim. He got what was coming to him in the end.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: black terror comic books seduction of the innocent

In the early issues of Rip Hunter, Time Master (1961), it is quickly demonstrated that our hero is a master marksman with handguns and thrown knives. He also has an encyclopedic knowledge of history and engineering. However, when confronted with angry men with sticks, his solution to the problem is not quite what you might expect.

You are a naughty, naughty man, Mr. Hunter.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic books rip hunter seduction of the innocent

Happy International Women's Day, ladies.

Because all Hitler ever wanted was men's bodies. By "treasures," I'm sure he meant their family jewels.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic books hitler holidays international womens day seduction of the innocent

The above chart is Google's interpretation of traffic flow here at Wriphe.com. For the past 30 days, I've averaged better than 17 hits per day. (Do I even know 17 people?) Most of those people came directly to the site without search engine assistance. (That's a lot of typos.) However, the reason I show this is to point out that the three primary keyword searches that are sending people to this site are

1. spandex man
2. wriphe.com
3. gay batman

It seems that I've developed a particular audience. Well, if that's what you want, that's what you'll get:

Wriphe.com: giving the people what they want since 2003.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: analytics batman comic books seduction of the innocent spandex superman wriphe.com

Wait, so that's what fun tastes like?

This giant display of Fun Pops® was found beside the health food in my local Kroger's grocery store. Because in America, plastic bags of sugar water and dye are health food.

Aren't these kids a little young to be having Fun Pops®? That boy looks way too excited about getting his mouth on that stick. And that little girl sure looks pleased to be holding that Fun Pop®. I'm sure that Burger King wishes that it had thought of this product's packaging for it's Kids Meals.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: food fun pops seduction of the innocent sex

This was the moment when I began to suspect that Captain America was Catholic.

These panels were published in Captain America Comics #19, published in 1942, apparently as the winning entry of an inappropriate sexual innuendo writing competition.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: captain america comic books seduction of the innocent

Quick, name the three most important people that you can think of!

I'm going to bet that your list didn't include "Police Chief Parker of Smallville." Who would have guessed that Superboy's motto was "think globally, act locally"? What could the chief of police need Clark for so desperately, anyway?

Oh. Never mind. Pulling boners always leaves me in a fog, too.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic books seduction of the innocent superboy

From Seduction of the Innocent, 1954, by Dr. Fredric Wertham:

"Superwoman (Wonder Woman) is always a horror type. She is physically very powerful, tortures men, has her own female following, is the cruel, 'phallic' woman. While she is a frightening figure for boys, she is an undesirable ideal for girls, being the exact opposite of what girls are supposed to want to be."

"The Lesbian counterpart of Batman may be found in the stories of Wonder Woman and Black Cat. The homosexual notation of the Wonder Woman type of story is psychologically unmistakable.... Wonder Woman has her own female following. They are all continuously being threatened, captured, almost put to death. there is a great deal of mutual rescuing, the same type of rescue fantasies as in Batman. Her followers are the 'Holliday girls,' i.e., the holiday girls, the gay party girls, the gay girls. Wonder Woman refers to them as 'my girls.'"

Fuck the internet. From now on, I'm only reading old Wonder Woman comics!

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic books seduction of the innocent wonder woman

What's the best way to beat the heat on a hot summer day? If you said read The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man™ comic book, you're right!

Archie comics published a half dozen issues of this thing back in the 80s, and boy, is it a product of it's time. I count 2 "rad"s,3 "awesome"s, and13 "wacky"s, the 1980s equivalent of the 1990s "extreme."

"Oh Yeah!" is said 12 times, all by Kool-Aid Man, making Kool-Aid Man the comic book equivalent of J.J. Evans or Arnold Drummond.

And this is a typical Archie style comic book: light reading about a bunch of kids and an oversized animate pitcher of sugar water who just want to have fun. Standing in their way is a slit glasses-wearing living flame named Scorch, who like all anthropomorphized flames, just wants to ruin everybody's good time, but not in a way that really causes anyone lasting pain or anguish. (He's an imp, not a terrorist. The only American who cared about terrorists in the 1980s was Chuck Norris, who spent hundreds of hours at the theater keeping america's shores safe in such classics as Lone Wolf McQuade, Delta Force, and my personal favorite, Invasion, U.S.A.) The book is even drawn by Dan Decarlo, THE Archie artist.

My only gripe is the manner in which it attempts to promote the (at the time) latest Kool-Aid flavor, Berry Blue. Knowing that there wasn't any real relationship between fruit and their licensed product of water-additive, the manufacturers instead decided to have Kool-Aid Man work a little "blue." Reading "The Wacky And Wild Dance Party" in this issue, it doesn't seem like the marketing department really gave their plan enough thought:

Wait, what did she just say? Is it just me, or doesn't that sound like slang for something that does NOT need to be in an Archie comic book, which is ostensibly , you know, for kids?

Nope, it's not just me. Of course they're out of step, Beth, you've led Kool-Aid Man into the Blue Ball Room! (That's not cool or refreshing, Kool-Aid Man!) With dialogue like "I can't meet the beat," someone else had to be in on this joke as well. If you ask me, I think this story gives a new and terrible meaning to the phrase "drinking the Kool-Aid."

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: advertising comic books kool-aid movies seduction of the innocent