Wriphe.com: The Blog 2022

It's no accident she's the fattest havanese you'll ever meet

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Does this website seem slower than usual to anyone else?

No one visits Wriphe.com more often than I do, so it might just be perception bias on my part, but page load does seem slower. We did downgrade our Internet speed not too long ago to save a few bucks, but maybe it's the site host server and not my ISP.

If anyone notices anything out of the ordinary, let me know.

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128/2137. To Hell and Back (1955)
The story of the most decorated United States soldier of World War II, Audie Murphy, as told by... Audie Murphy! Murphy's participation, though wooden, is the only reason this movie works; it's just too hard to believe that such a character could exist in the real world.

129/2138. The Whistler (1944)
If you're a fan of the Golden Age of Radio — and who isn't? — you no doubt recognize The Whistler as an anthology series of suspense stories. The movie version focuses on just one story (more or less) as a well-intentioned Richard Dix at the end of his rope is drawn into a number of life-or-death situations. I actually liked it more than I like the radio show.

131/2140. McEnroe (2022)
John McEnroe and his friends and family tell his life story in this autobiographical documentary. This was done in a similar style as the Tony Hawk documentary I watched earlier this year, and I thought this one superior, largely because McEnroe is more willing (or capable) of investigating some of the worse/private aspects of his life story in addition to the happier/famous moments.

Drink Coke! (McEnroe)
You might say that archival footage doesn't count as product placement, but they didn't have to use this particular shot.

132/2141. This Is Joan Collins (2022)
Another autobiographical documentary, this time for the Dynasty star whose career had a lot of ups and downs (and #MeToo moments). She's quite charming.

133/2142. The Animal Kingdom (1932)
Speaking of charming women, Myrna Loy is herein supposed to be playing the proverbial gold-digging wife who tries to corrupt her artistically-minded husband, but I choose to interpret her character as a well-intentioned sophisticate working to save a wishy-washy gadfly from throwing away his fortune on drunks and whores. Casting is everything!

134/2143. Men in White (1934)
More Myrna Loy, here playing the exasperated fiance of Clark Gable's selfless driven doctor who has made the mistake of knocking up a nurse... and then operates to save her life after her illegal back-alley abortion goes awry. Welcome to the future, everybody!

More to come.

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What am I most thankful for this year? One guess:

Hi ho, Henry

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I was inclined to believe that Elon Musk's takeover of Twitter wouldn't mean any real change to the platform. After all, it's been a sewer of uneducated shitposts for years. But through careful curation, I had carved out a space for posts from comic book publishers and creators (specifically creators who worked on Booster Gold comic books). I figured that shouldn't change under new ownership.

However, no sooner had Musk taken control than the app started suggesting I might be interested in tweets from "Elon Musk." Musk bought Twitter because he likes to troll other users — specifically potential investors and the Securities and Exchange Commission — not because he likes comic books. I didn't follow him before he spent $44 billion to tank a business, and I'm not interested in following him now. So I declined the suggestion.

Twitter said okay, how about tweets from "business leaders"? Technically, creating comic books is a business, but that's not what these are. All of the tweets promoted in this category seemed to be someone criticizing the old leadership at Twitter for hiring thousands too many employees and/or praising Elon Musk, who has — completely coincidentally, I'm sure — just reinstated their previously banned account. Neither of those topics has anything to do with comic books, so I told Twitter I wasn't interested in what any "business leaders" had to say, either.

Twitter said okay, how about "tech news" tweets? I mean, that's what I do professionally, so maybe? But Twitter's idea of "tech news" seems to be limited to exclamations about how great it is that a billionaire has bought a social media company. It's a win for free speech, they say! I think I speak for all Americans when I say that if "free speech" means I have to hear less about comic books, you can keep it to yourself.

So what's next? "Car manufacturers" promoting government-funded space travel? "Cool guys" advising that hot chicks love Teslas? "Medical professionals" recommending that I should add cocaine to my Coca-Cola just like Elon Musk does? No, thanks, Twitter. Just comic book news. Please.

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And they all last for-e-v-e-r

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EPISODE THREE: THE SABOTAGE, PART FOUR

Cobryn watched helplessly from the control booth window as Bronson stepped over Striker One's limp body and faced Sahara. The Wolf Pack lieutenant wiggled his finger at Sahara in a "come hither" gesture. Sahara shook her head in refusal. The roaring crowd was eating it up.

"Do something," Cobryn urged.

"What?" asked Quig.

"Anything!"

Quig's claws flew across the console, and Cobryn was relieved to see the arena floor around Bronson begin to rise, trapping the lizard man. Sahara hustled over to Striker One and began helping him to his feet. The crowd's roars faded and quickly returned as boos.

"You better hurry up and release the slaves from their pens," said Quig. "I don't think we have long."

Cobryn had already identified the slave pen master control, and it didn't take a computer genius like Quig to figure out which button freed them. It was helpfully labeled "Do not press this it frees the slaves!" Cobryn pressed it.

It didn't take long for someone to notice.

Somewhere outside the control room, an alarm went off. The Wolf Pack spectators began to flee the stadium, forgetting about Bronson, Sahara, and Striker One in their haste to confront a slave uprising. Cobryn didn't give them good odds: slaves outnumbered Wolf Pakers on this asteroid ten-to-one. The only way they could regain control was through the computers in this control booth.

"I've opened the arena doors for Sahara and Striker One," said Quig as he moved to the exit. "That's all we've got to do. We can meed the others at the ship and get off this forsaken rock."

"I'm right behind you," said Cobryn. He turned to the console Quig abandoned. Cobryn knew a thing or two about computers himself; if he could lock the computer down, the Wolf Pack was doomed. Fortunately, the computer system was idiot proof.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOCK COMPUTER TO PREVENT ALL FUTURE ACCESS? [Y/N]

Cobryn gleefully pressed the "Y" button and was rewarded with a smiley face and timer counting down from five minutes. Once the countdown was complete, the computer would only be useful as a doorstop.

Quig was long gone by the time Cobryn got to the door. The sounds of combat and death screams echoed through the corridors, but the path leading out to the ship hanger looked clear. Cobryn punched the air in celebration. After the Corona's Light, it felt good to be ensuring the death of the right people for a change. Take that, slavers!

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From the Child Welfare Department:

Eighty-two years after his first appearance, the Red Bee is finally getting his own sidekick! (Michael the Trained Bee doesn't count because he's actually the Red Bee's super power.)

If she's really the Red Bee's best friend, shouldn't she be named after a flower?

Technically, Ladybug hasn't actually appeared in a comic yet (other than this bio from the backmatter of The New Golden Age #1, 2022), but it's implied we will be meeting her in soon-to-come issues of the appropriately-named Stargirl: The Lost Children.

I feel like they are making this comic specifically for me.

Take all my money, DC!

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It's been over a year (see: Mar 22, 2021) since I last posted pics of Coca-Cola product placement in movies I'd seen before I started tracking what I was watching. I've re-wartched quite a few films since then, so here's an update.

Drink Coke! (Beverly Hills Cop II)
Goes great with donuts. (Beverly Hills Cop II)

Drink Coke! (Blade Runner)
Taste the future! (Blade Runner)

Drink Coke! (The Blues Brothers)
It's dark, we're wearing sunglasses, and we're drinking Coca-Cola! (The Blues Brothers)

Drink Coke! (China Syndrome)
Just don't spill it! (China Syndrome)

Drink Coke! (Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)
Keep your bodily fluids pure with Coke! (Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)