I was inclined to believe that Elon Musk's takeover of Twitter wouldn't mean any real change to the platform. After all, it's been a sewer of uneducated shitposts for years. But through careful curation, I had carved out a space for posts from comic book publishers and creators (specifically creators who worked on Booster Gold comic books). I figured that shouldn't change under new ownership.

However, no sooner had Musk taken control than the app started suggesting I might be interested in tweets from "Elon Musk." Musk bought Twitter because he likes to troll other users — specifically potential investors and the Securities and Exchange Commission — not because he likes comic books. I didn't follow him before he spent $44 billion to tank a business, and I'm not interested in following him now. So I declined the suggestion.

Twitter said okay, how about tweets from "business leaders"? Technically, creating comic books is a business, but that's not what these are. All of the tweets promoted in this category seemed to be someone criticizing the old leadership at Twitter for hiring thousands too many employees and/or praising Elon Musk, who has — completely coincidentally, I'm sure — just reinstated their previously banned account. Neither of those topics has anything to do with comic books, so I told Twitter I wasn't interested in what any "business leaders" had to say, either.

Twitter said okay, how about "tech news" tweets? I mean, that's what I do professionally, so maybe? But Twitter's idea of "tech news" seems to be limited to exclamations about how great it is that a billionaire has bought a social media company. It's a win for free speech, they say! I think I speak for all Americans when I say that if "free speech" means I have to hear less about comic books, you can keep it to yourself.

So what's next? "Car manufacturers" promoting government-funded space travel? "Cool guys" advising that hot chicks love Teslas? "Medical professionals" recommending that I should add cocaine to my Coca-Cola just like Elon Musk does? No, thanks, Twitter. Just comic book news. Please.

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I posted this panel from of Mary Marvel and Hoppy from New Champions of Shazam #2 (a delightful comic) on Twitter yesterday, and it has far, far more retweets than anything I've ever posted in the 11 years I've been on that site.

words by Josie Campbell + art by Doc Shaner = 100% Marvelous

Granted, most of the things I post on Twitter are related to an entirely different and much less well-known comic book character (no, not Batman but Booster Gold), but whatever. If it influences more people to read the comics I like (which in turn encourages DC to make more of the comics I like), I'll call it a win.

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Sometimes you go looking for something on the web and you find it.

Sometimes you don't find what you were looking for but you do find something far, far better. Something like this:

Twitter helpfully describes this image in their version of a 404 Page Not Found response as "A primped poodle with a bow in its hair sitting in a chair like a human."

Well, of course! How else is a poodle supposed to sit in a chair? (Perhaps like this. Or maybe like this. I guess my point here is there's no wrong way to seat a poodle.)

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It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...

...Doc Shaner! (Twitter.com)

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This. Is. A. Painting.

Hey, if someone — in this particular case, artist Eliza Donze (Twitter.com) — can do *this* with a digital paintbrush, maybe a man *can* fly.

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SAVANNAH GUTHERIE, NBC NEWS, Oct 15, 2010

Just this week, you retweeted to your 87 million followers, a conspiracy theory that Joe Biden orchestrated to have SEAL Team Six, the Navy SEAL Team Six, killed to cover up the fake death of Bin Laden. Now, why would you send a lie like that to your followers?

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

I know nothing about it, can I-

GUTHERIE

You retweeted it.

TRUMP

That was a retweet. That was an opinion of somebody—

GUTHERIE

But—

TRUMP

—and that was a retweet. I’ll put it out there. People can decide for themselves. I don't take a position.

GUTHERIE

I don't get that, you’re the President. You're not like, someone's crazy uncle who can just—

TRUMP

No, no. No, no.

GUTHERIE

—retweet, whatever.

TRUMP

That was a retweet. And I do a lot of retweets. And frankly, because the media is so fake, and so corrupt, if I didn't have social media.... I don’t call it Twitter, I call it social media. I wouldn't be able to get the word out. And the word is—

GUTHERIE

Well, the word is false.

TRUMP

—and you know what the word is? The word is very simple. We're building our country, stronger and better than it's ever been before.

GUTHERIE

Let's stop—

TRUMP

And that's what's happening. And everybody knows it.

...

There's no small irony in the fact that the party that openly promotes the philosophy of Constitutional Originalism has chosen as its leader a man the Founding Fathers could have never imagined.

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First panel: @PresVillain via Twitter.com
all other panels: Action Comics Annual #3 (1991)

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Art by Jack Kirby and Chick Stone, words by the actual President of the United States:

So brilliant, I wish I'd thought of it. But the credit belongs to twitter.com/PresVillain.

But wait! The joke works even better if you know the original panel from Tales of Suspense #66 (1965), written by Stan Lee:

Don't worry, Captain America survives, but by the end of the issue, he's heiling Hitler. Stupid disinfectants.

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The next big crossover event for Superman: six issues of Existential Crisis.

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