Showing 1 - 10 of 222 posts found matching keyword: news

At 5:15 PM yesterday, CNN was airing the news conference held by a deputy United States Attorney to explain the eight federal charges Michael Cohen pleaded guilty to, including Cohen's admission that heintentionally violated campaign finance laws "at the direction" of then-candidate Donald Trump.

At the exact same time on Fox News, Greg Gutfield was telling his audience that Cohen's guilty pleas were no big deal, since Cohen hadn't admitted to collusion with Russia.

I hate to admit it, but I can see where Gutfield is coming from.

Who would have thought that in 2018 a colleague of the United States President admitting to breaking the law to hide one of that President's many extra-marital affairs doesn't seem like front page news?

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The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has added a new category to the Oscars to reward movies that the general public likes. I think this is a bad idea. There's already an award for movies the general public likes. It's called money.

The new category is to be for "Outstanding Achievement in Popular Movies," which in addition to being an award dedicated to pandering, is also an insult to other, "unpopular" movies. How bad is Hollywood's current output that they can't combine "popular" and "quality"? Best Picture winners Rocky, The Godfather, Titanic, and Gladiator didn't need special treatment. Why should Ready Player One?

I get where they're coming from. The Academy views the Oscar telecast as an advertisement for movies, and last year the telecast had the lowest ratings in history. (Note to the Academy: everything on television was down year-to-year in 2017 as millennials cut every cord they could find.) They hope adding a new category specifically to feature movies like Avengers: Infinity War and Jurassic Park: Fallen Kingdom will cause more people to watch the telecast, and therefore, encourage more people to go out and watch movies. Specifically, movies they've already seen.

I don't have access to the information the Academy sees, but from where I sit, this seems an entirely unnecessary move. Why water down the value of an Oscar to promote the movies that are already making more than a billion dollars? Disney has released three billion-dollar-plus movies this year. Why not just give them a dedicated statuette? I'm sure they'll be glad to send that ice queen from Frozen to pick it up. That'll bring in the millennial audience in droves.

Essentially, what this new award comes down to is Hollywood telling you that if you like a movie, it probably isn't very good. The worst of it is, they're probably right.

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Not so long ago, conservative columnist Kathleen Parker wrote an editorial for the Washington Post complaining that Donald Trump should not be called "Putin's Poodle." She did not write this because she is a fan of Trump — she very openly considers him an albatross around the neck of the Republican party — but because poodles deserve better than to be called "weak" or "submissive." I couldn't agree more.

In fact, I wrote a similar editorial myself about a decade ago.

If you don't recall, in the winter of 2003, British Prime Minister Tony Blair was called "America's Poodle" for blindly supporting George W. Bush's push to invade Iraq in search of weapons of mass destruction. (Remember W? Remember when we thought he was the worst president in American history? Ah, the good old days!) That led to the University of Georgia student newspaper, The Red & Black, to run this editorial cartoon:

The British Bulldog represents Tony Blair, all bark with no bite. The poodle represents France, a vocal critic of the US/UK plan to invade Iraq. And the guy in the stove-pipe hat represents Colonel Sanders.

My response, which was more a reaction to an overreaction to the previous day's editorial cartoon than a reaction to this cartoon itself, read as follows:

Poodles no often angry or mean dogs. As a proud owner of a poodle, I found Mack Williams' portrayal of the snarling poodle in the editorial cartoon on Thursday to be deeply offensive. Obviously Williams has never even met a dog of the poodle breed or he would not so callously depict them as aggressive or mean-spirited. Poodles may tend to be high-strung but never, to my knowledge, are they malicious or cruel as Williams' dog with a curled lip and a ferocious accent implies. Anyone familiar with the breed would agree that poodles are loyal, good-humored animals deserving of our love, not our spite. To take the poodle breed so badly out of context in his cartoon dictates to me that Williams is indeed a twisted mind with no respect for anything decent in this world. It seems to me the truly rabid creature with the foaming mouth is not the libeled poodle, but Williams himself. WALTER STEPHENS, Staff, Athens, Administrative Secretary Lamar Dodd School of Art

I assure you, that was written with tongue firmly in cheek. Something tells me that Kathleen Parker was being a little more serious.

(You can see responses to my editorial in the blog post I wrote on Christmas Day 2006.)

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I'm sorry that there has been no post in the past few days. Coca-Cola announced that President Trump's indiscriminate aluminum tariffs are raising the price of soft drinks. As a result, I've been in mourning.

Forget P.O.W. bashing, pussy grabbing, and an inability to tell the truth about anything. When you fuck with Coca-Cola, you're fucking with America.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm out to stock up on apple pie and baseball before things get worse.

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"I believe that it must be the policy of the United States to support free peoples who are resisting attempted subjugation by armed minorities or by outside pressures." Harry Truman, 1947.

"But this secret, swift, and extraordinary buildup of Communist missiles ... is a deliberately provocative and unjustified change in the status quo which cannot be accepted by this country, if our courage and our commitments are ever to be trusted again by either friend or foe." John Kennedy, 1962.

"We must stand by our democratic allies. And we must not break faith with those who are risking their lives — on every continent, from Afghanistan to Nicaragua — to defy Soviet-supported aggression and secure rights which have been ours from birth." Ronald Reagan, 1985.

"We will not accept Russia's occupation of Crimea or its violation of Ukraine's sovereignty. Our free nations will stand united so that further Russian provocations will only mean more isolation and costs for Russia. Because after investing so much blood and treasure to bring Europe together, how can we allow the dark tactics of the 20th century to define this new century?" Barack Obama, 2016.

"My people came to me, [United States Director of National Intelligence] Dan Coats came to me and some others, they said they think it's Russia. I have [Russia] President Putin. He just said it's not Russia. I will say this: I don't see any reason why it would be." Donald Trump, 2018.

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For eight-and-a-half years, I've been warning you about the greatest threat known to man. According to recent news reports, you're finally starting to listen.

"Killer deer terrorizing pets, people in Peachtree City" (11alive.com)

"Attack of the Peachtree City deer without fear" (TheCitizen.com)

"Bully Bambi: Deer targets neighborhood dogs, one dead" (CBS46.com)

That's right: They're here! They're deer! Get used to it!

According to the reports, deer have been terrorizing dogs in Peachtree City, a community of golf carts and more golf carts. Full disclosure: I lived in Peachtree City for about half a year in 1988. It was not a happy time, but that doesn't mean that I wish deer on them. I wouldn't wish deer on anyone.

Why would the deer attack dogs? Obviously because dogs are man's best friends. Those bastards!

"So what?" say the Cat People. "Deer on dog violence is not our problem." You bastards! Deer on dog violence is everyone's problem! Once they're done with the dogs, do you think they'll just go away? No! First dogs, then cats, then I-don't-know-what, but it won't be good!

Act now! Teach your dog to attack deer on sight. Your life (and theirs) might depend on it.

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This comic may have been about me

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Fun fact: 100 pounds of confetti falls just as fast as 100 pounds of flesh
He's never wrong
All-Star Superman #10

Kate Spade, Anthony Bourdain, an estimated 865 less-famous Americans.... This week could have used a little more Superman.

(See also: "Superman and the Jumper" from Superman #701.)

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Tuesday, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that a former US Marine Staff Sergeant who lost his legs to an IUD was kicked off a roller coaster at Six Flags Over Georgia because it's against their policy to let people without legs ride. With all due respect to the Marine's service, I have to side with Six Flags here. No one should ride any of their rides no matter how many legs they have.

The Staff Sergeant was trying to ride the Mind Bender, a 40-year old roller coaster. Back in my day, it was brown. Now it's green, because while Six Flags won't let a Marine ride their coaster, they have no problem rebranding it for a super villain. Oh, wait. Maybe those two things go together.

This bad press comes at a bad time. It just so happens that Six Flags Over Georgia is debuting their newest coaster, the Twisted Cyclone, this Saturday. The Twisted Cyclone will be the 16th coaster in the park's history. So far, only three of those coasters have killed people. (According to Wikipedia, the Mild Bender has merely sent four people to the hospital. Pfft.)

In Six Flags' defense — a phrase I thought I would never type — there is precedent for them to believe they should enforce their legless ban despite what would appear to be a clear case of a rider opting-in to assumption of risk. (That's a legal term. Look it up.) In 2011, another legless veteran who also lost his legs to an IUD died after falling out of a coaster in Darien Lake, New York. His family ultimately won a million dollar settlement when state regulators declared the park negligent because ride operators let him ride the coaster despite having no legs. Hmm. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The interesting footnote (ha, ha) to this story is that on the same day the AJC published its article, Six Flags announced that they are purchasing Darien Lake. Re-purchasing, actually. Six Flags owned the park for most of the 2000s until shortly after Katrina quite literally sank their organization. It's only natural that they should want Darien Lake back. They love coasters that kill people.

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Nearly half a million Georgians woke up today to discover that their Blue Cross Blue Shield healthcare plans are no longer accepted at Piedmont Healthcare locations around the greater metropolitan Atlanta area.

That's not news to the half-million Georgia residents who have individual plans (read: "Obamacare"). Piedmont hasn't accepted any of the Obamacare plans for years, meaning those of us who freelance or are poor (or both *ahem*) and live in regions dominated by Piedmont's near monopoly have gotten quite used to setting our own broken bones and buying our painkillers from street vendors.

It's hard to decide which side of this current shouting match I should be cheering for. Piedmont says it just wants fair compensation from a insurer who refuses to allow its customers to go to emergency rooms until after they have a doctor's note proving they have an emergency. For its part, BCBS says it will go bankrupt unless doctors agree to shoulder some of the burden of a state and federal government that mandate coverage they refuse to pay for. Settle down, immigrants and Hollywood actresses. In 2018 America, everybody loses!

I understand why children these days are marching in protest of an absence of common sense gun legislation, but I have to say this latest healthcare crisis demonstrates why I still support easy access to weaponry. America's (and especially Georgia's) healthcare system is so fucked up, we need all the bullets we can bite to help push past the pain of untreated ailments. You'll understand one day, kids, assuming you're lucky enough to survive next month's school shooting. (And the month after that, and the month after that....)

What's that you say, Russia? You've got a shiny, new nuclear missile that you're eager to use because no one else will let you cheat at elections or kill anyone you want to? Big deal. Go ahead and shoot. That's one way to solve America's healthcare problems. We'll see how much money Piedmont's doctors are worth when we're all glowing in the dark. Besides, I'm eager to see what excuse BCBS comes up with to disqualify radiation poisoning trips to the ER.

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To be continued...

 

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