The headline in today's The Athletic begins: "Ted Ginn, Jr, ex-NFL receiver and UFL coach...". Ted Ginn Jr? Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time.

Ginn, for those of you who haven't wasted the past few decades following the rotting corpse of a once great football team called the Miami Dolphins, was the 9th overall pick in the 2007 draft. He played his college football for Ohio State, where he set a record for scoring on punt returns. I presume that's why GM Randy Mueller (who had been installed as something of a figurehead GM during Nick Saban's head coaching tenure only to find himself in over his head when Saban abruptly skipped town) drafted Ginn as high as he did. Ginn had great foot speed but hands of stone. He was an immediate bust.

I happened to be in the stands when Ginn finally scored his first NFL punt return touchdown following the Eagles' opening drive in week 11. The Dolphins were to that point winless on the season, and I had already soured on Ginn. My brother, an Eagles fan, knew it. So when Ginn scored, he immediately taunted me with "Who's your fav-rit play-er? Ted Gin Jun-ior!" He would repeat that whenever Ginn's name came up in NFL broadcasts in the following years.

Admittedly, the 2007 coach and roster Mueller assembled didn't do Ginn any favors. (Can you name any of the three quarterbacks who started for the Dolphins in 2007? There will be a quiz later.) But after just three years in Miami, he was traded to the 49ers. Thereafter, he spent equally short terms with the Panthers, Cardinals, Panthers (again), Saints, and Bears. That's actually a pretty good career by NFL standards, and he wouldn't be widely considered as a bust if he hadn't been drafted so high by a team that needed so much help.

Anyway, all that is what I think of when I read the rest of that headline: "...arrested on DWI charge in Texas." I have to say that it's nice to know that some things don't change. Nearly twenty years later, Ted Ginn, Jr. continues to disappoint.

Pop quiz, hot shot! The Miami Dolphins 2007 quarterbacks: Trent Green (5 starts), Cleo Lemon (7 starts), John Beck (4 starts). Lemon was the only QB on the roster when Ginn was drafted. Later-career Trent Green was signed in June on a one-year deal to shore up a terrible roster. John Beck was the rookie QB taken after Ginn with the 40th overall pick, after JaMarcus Russell, Brady Quinn, and Kevin Kolb. There's a reason 2007 is considered one of the all time worst QB classes.

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Why is my Google News feed full of stores about how rampant commercialism and inept governments are leading to the impending collapse of Earth's ability to sustain life? Is this inspired by the current moon mission? Earth Day? AI data centers? War in the Middle East? Or just my particular doom scrolling preferences?

I'm a downer. I get it. But how about a nice link to dogs eating ice cream? Or Kpop Demon Hunter memes? Or news about cabinet members being fired for being terrible at their jobs? You know, the sorts of things that give hope that the universe isn't bent towards the worst possible outcomes.

Maybe if I just keep scrolling, I'll get to the good stuff....

Aw, geez. Now it's "I'd like to buy only America a Coke"? Fine, you win, universe.

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Recently, (as one does) I was perusing the Tustin (California) Area Historical Society website (tustinhistory.com) devoted to the closed (but not decommissioned) Marine Corps Air Station Tustin, commissioned in October 1942 (as Naval Air Station Santa Ana) to house "non-rigid lighter-than-air" airships for Navy Fleet Airship Wing Three, Squadron Thirty-One (ZP-31) in two wooden 17-story 1,088-foot long blimp hangars (one surviving), listed on the National Register of Historic Places since 1975.

That's where I found an image of this aging stencil painted on an interior wall of the (surviving) south Hangar 2 (Building 29):

A little more research teaches me that these are the fourteen leadership traits taught by the United States Marine Corps. Even more research reveals that the Marines borrowed those fourteen traits from the Army, specifically from the 1961 Department of the Army Field Manual FM 22-100: Military Leadership, which ordered them alphabetically. When the Marines integrated the traits into Department of the Navy Marine Corps Warfighting Publication MCWP 6-11 in 1995, they kept the alphabetical order, though the 2014 version of that publication (now designated MCWP 6-10) re-ordered them into the very sensible mnemonic "JJ DID TIE BUCKLE".

(In point of fact, a fifteenth trait, "Empathy" was added in the 2024 version of the MCWP 6-10, which now calls them "JJ DID TIE BUCKLEE". I'm not going to tell the Marines their business, but that's a terrible mnemonic. I assume they were sticking by tradition—Semper Fidelis!—but why just tack on an extra E when "KID BLED JET JUICE" is right there for the taking?)

However you order them, I have to say that I find them to be very good traits for effective leadership. Pretty good traits for everyone, actually. Too bad I don't see many of those traits being exemplified by the current Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States. Maybe someone should give him a tour of the South Hangar at MCAS Tustin.

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I first referenced this chestnut on my post January 7, 2020, shortly after the United States, at the order of an historically unpopular current president, launched a surprise drone strike that killed Iranian General Qasem Soleimani under the pretense that terrorist actions were imminent.

Given Saturday's events, in which the United States, at the order of an historically unpopular current president, joined Israel in a surprise bombing campaign that killed Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei under the pretense that nuclear strikes were imminent, now feels like a good time for a callback.

If at first you don't succeed, bomb, bomb again.

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I was recently gifted several issues (Volume CXLV, Numbers 3-6) of The Saguache Crescent, the newspaper of record for Saguache, Colorado, for 145 years and counting. (Still just 35¢! Cheap!) It has a delightful engraved, four-column masthead of the sort they just don't make anymore.

I've been told that natives (by which I mean the descendants of white settlers who now populate the region) pronounce "Saguache" much the same as I pronounced the name of the ubiquitous Swiss wristwatch of my 1980s childhood: Sa-watch. Wikipedia says there's a bit of confusion about what exactly the word means in the original Ute language. It's either "sand dune," "green place," "blue earth," or "blue water." Maybe all of the above? In any event, it sounds like a nice place. No wonder people have been writing and reading about it for so long.

Wikipedia also alerted me to the fact that The Saguache Crescent is the only known newspaper in the world still printed on a 19th-century Linotype machine, something that's pretty obvious when you have one in your hand. Back before you watched the news on your phones, kids, they used a keyboard to assemble physical letter molds into lines that became the printing slugs that were inked and applied to paper. Because the final slugs were a single block of lead, typos—which might have been your fault but just as easily could have been the fault of a finicky machine, something no computer will ever admit to—were forever. It's charming in hindsight.

Once you go looking, you'll find plenty of web articles explaining that The Saguache Crescent is run by one man, "DEAN I. COOMBS, Publisher," as a labor of love. He prints one paper a week for his modern community of about 500 people, obviously reusing slugs as often as possible. All of which explains why all four editions of the paper in front of me contain the same misspelled headline:

"VD Love Lettesrs at the saguache public library."

And I know I'm old-fashioned, but I'm going to blame the lingering nostalgia inspired by this Old West newspaper for causing me to wonder why in the world the Saguache, Colorado, public library is getting love letters from Venereal Disease.

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If you've read the news in the past few weeks, you may have a little trouble figuring out what the word "terrorism" actually means these days. It's being thrown around a lot to cover a lot of situations. So let's see if we can help clarify.

Merriam-Webster.com: ter·​ror·​ism, n: the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion.

Wiktionary.com: terrorism (usually uncountable, plural terrorisms) The use of unlawful violence against people or property to achieve political objectives.

Kids.Britannica.com: (under ter​ror​ism) Terrorists are people who use fear to try to change society.

As you can see, performing "terrorism" generally requires intent that the act would intimidate others into compliance with your desires out of a sense of fear. Darth Vader was a terrorist; he made his Imperial officers watch him kill their leaders so they would be too afraid to question his amoral orders. On the other hand, Freddy Krueger was not a terrorist; he was just a monster who enjoyed killing people.

The October 7 attack on Israel was an act of terrorism. The September 11 attack on America was an act of terrorism. Wearing white sheets and burning crosses in front yards has always been terrorism. Shootings on school campuses can be terrorism, but they can also just be murder. Trafficking drugs is itself not generally an act of terrorism, but in the right situation with the wrong sorts of people (like The Joker), it could be. Holding protest rallies is not terrorism (so long as there's no threat of violence). Fleeing across political borders, while illegal, is not terrorism (because people themselves are not inherently terrifying or seeking to force societal change by standing on one side or the other of an imaginary boundary).

Trying to escape police, while possibly unwise, is definitely not terrorism. Likewise, shooting someone in self defense, even if you were wrong to think you were in danger, is not terrorism either. But a hypothetical case of encouraging lethal force to subdue a fleeing suspect so others will think twice about trying to escape if they find themselves in the same situation? That's Darth Vader territory.

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"I talked to God, and He told me it’s time to take a new step."

—New LSU Head Football Coach Lane Kiffin
in response to ESPN reporter Marty Smith's question
"Why was LSU the right choice for you?"
while standing in an airfield on his way out of Mississippi
which he abandoned before the 2025 postseason started
November 30, 2025

I'll be the first to admit that I have never been privy to any conversations that Lane Kiffin has had with his God, but I'm skeptical that any god really cares enough about Kiffin's financial situation to give him professional advice.

Kiffin is a football coach, not a preacher. At the risk of sounding blasphemous, it strikes me as no coincidence that Kiffin's new job is paying him $4 million more than the old. If money wasn't an issue, LSU could certainly save some of that cash for the players. Or even their students. Maybe pious Kiffin will share with the less fortunate.

Maybe I'm just jealous. God never tells me which jobs to take. (If God has been giving me career advice and I haven't heard it, whose fault is that?) I suppose it remains possible that Lane Kiffin has been hoarding God for himself. I bet $13 million a season buys a lot of divine advice.

And although this sounds to me like a con man's rhetorical trick to avoid honestly answering a reporter's nosy question, you can't argue with God. That's why there's a whole Commandment instructing not to take the Lord's name in vain. I'm sure Kiffin wouldn't break a Commandment any more than he'd break a contract. (That's probably why he coaches college and not pro ball; gotta keep that Sabbath day holy.)

Whatever the case, I'll just thank God that Lane Kiffin isn't coming to coach Georgia, home of the 2025 SEC Champion Bulldogs and the highest paid college football coach in the country. Go Dawgs!

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"The deportations will continue until morale improves."

According to multiple generally-trustworthy news sources, that was the response that a spokesman for the Governor of Florida gave today concerning a court order that the state's immigrant detention camp in the Everglades must be closed within 60 days.

Variations of the common quip "The beatings will continue until morale improves" have existed since at least Voltaire wrote Candide in the 18th century. The sentiment is always meant satirically, as (surprise, surprise) beatings will always have the opposite effect of improving morale.

So the question becomes: did the spokesman intend his comment satirically? Is he a subversive in the unwitting Governor's employ? Does the governor want Floridians to have bad morale? Or did he read Candide and decide, like Pangloss, that we really do live in the best of all possible worlds? I think it's most likely that the spokesman only knows the phrase from ironic t-shirts. Which is a shame, as Candide is very, very good.

In any event, if the job of a spokesman is to communicate ideas with clarity, this person is bad at his job. But I suppose that if being good at your job was a requirement for governments, they would definitely be much, much smaller.

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My passport was set to expire before the end of the year, so I just requested a new one online. Just in time, too, as I may need to escape the US. From what I hear in the news, crime has run amok in DC; apparently over 1,500 convicted criminals who stormed the Capitol on January 6 are currently on the loose.

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The current federal administration has finally done something I agree with. They've stopped minting pennies.

For a long time, the buying power of one one-hundredth of a dollar hasn't stretched very far. Boomers might remember buying penny candy, but any Gen Xer will tell you that "12 cassettes for 1¢" sounded too good to be true even in the 1980s. (Nancy Reagan told us winners didn't do drugs, but she kept her trap shut about the predatory dangers of the recording industry.) There's not a lot of reason to carry around a penny when even vending machines spit them out.

The metal content of a penny is dictated by law,^[1] and although the Secretary of Treasury has some wiggle room to accommodate market forces^[2], as you might expect given their small practical value, it's now impossible to legally make a penny that costs less than what it's worth.^[3]

However, despite what The Wall Street Journal reported today,^[4] the penny isn't being legally "phased out." The U.S. Mint, a bureau of the executive branch's Department of the Treasury, has just decided it isn't going to make any more. At least at the present time. The current executive branch administration has proved it's nothing if not mercurial. Always emotion, the future is.

All those pennies the U.S. Mint has ever made?^[5] Yeah, they're still "legal tender for all debts";^[6] only Congress can really kill the penny.^[7] By law, pennies have to stay in circulation and remain legal tender until Congress says otherwise,^[8] and, as you may have noticed, Congress has had a hard time saying much of anything lately.

^[1]Source: Title 31 U.S. Code § 5112 Denominations, specifications, and design of coins. "[T]he one-cent coin is an alloy of 95 percent copper and 5 percent zinc;"

^[2] Also 31 USC § 5112: "(c) The Secretary may prescribe the weight and the composition of copper and zinc in the alloy of the one-cent coin that the Secretary decides are appropriate when the Secretary decides that a different weight and alloy of copper and zinc are necessary to ensure an adequate supply of one-cent coins to meet the needs of the United States."

^[3] U.S. Mint 2024 Annual Report, page 10, "MANAGEMENT’S DISCUSSION AND ANALYSIS (UNAUDITED)" : "The unit cost for pennies (3.69 cents) and nickels (13.78 cents) remained above face value for the 19th consecutive fiscal year."

^[4] Adedoyin, Oyin. "Treasury Sounds Death Knell for Penny Production." The Wall Street Journal May 22, 2025

^[5] Just how many pennies that is has been hard to determine. Many sources, like NBC and USA Today, are reporting 114 billion. Other sources, like Wake Forest economics department, estimates 250 billion. In either case, I think we have enough to last us a while.

^[6] Source: 31 USC § 5103 Legal Tender (1983)

^[7] Per Article 1 Section 8 Clause 5 of the United States Constitution (which, last time I checked, was still the law of the land, for whatever the law is worth these days), "[The Congress shall have Power] To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures".

^[8]The last time Congress "phased out" a coin was the half-cent, in 1857. According to Wikipedia ("Penny debate in the United States"), the ½ cent coin in 1857 had the buying-power equivalent of "about 17 cents" in 2024 currency. On the other hand, if you had a 1857 Braided Hair Half Cent coin today, it would have a retail value upwards of $100, so you might not want to spend it on... well, what can you get for 17¢? Hmm. Maybe we should start phasing out nickels and dimes, too.

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