Dawgs win again, beating a helpless UAB team without really trying. And as happy as that makes me, I'm kept grounded by the Dolphins' considerably less exceptional second loss. It's going to be a long, long NFL season at this rate.

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[The Batman Coloring Page blog entry for September 15, 2006, has been relocated here.]

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Don't let anyone tell you that watching 5 football games over the course of 1 day isn't tiring. Maybe it's not exercise to sit on the couch and watch large men hit each other on the television, but it sure is an exhausting workout. I really think that the reason for televised pre-season is to get me in game watching shape for the regular season.

Whew, I need a nap. And there are still 2 Monday Night Football games to be played tonight!

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In the infamous Seduction of the Innocent, Dr. Wertham describes the relationship between Batman and Robin as "the wish dream of two homosexuals living together."

I think it is most interesting that the character of Robin, created purely for the purpose of encouraging children readers to more closely relate to the adventures of the Batman, has served his purpose so well as to result in the enduring cultural subtext of the gay Batman. Even Dr. Wertham's studies indicate that Robin, not Batman, is the character that most people with homosexual desires project themselves into. No one wants to sleep with Robin; they want to be ravashed by the Batman. Robin is freqently shown pining for Batman, yet rarely, if ever, is Batman shown doing anything demonstrably homoerotic in nature. That makes Robin, not Batman, the homosexual partner in the Dynamic Duo.

See what I mean? Damn, boy, can't you even keep your legs together!

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In honor of Batman and Football month, may I present to you the first Batman comic book that I remember reading: The Brave and the Bold #182.

Now, by 1982 I thought that I was already well familiar with Batman, both from Adam West's portrayal on the 1966 live-action show (which I knew from reruns, though I admit that I didn't catch onto the adult undertones for years to come) as well as Batman's adventures with the Superfriends. So when I was given this comic book, I was woefully unprepared for what it contained.

This story takes place on Earth-2, where the golden-age Batman had lived and died. Yes, Batman is dead in this story. And he is also alive, as the Earth-1 Batman was paying a visit to the Earth-2 Robin and Earth-2 Batman's daughter, Helena. Even more confusing is the presence of Earth-2's Batwoman, whose Earth-1 counterpart has apparently been long deceased. Confused yet? I was. Now, as much as some say that the multiple earths made for great stories, they also made it darn difficult for newcomers to grasp the complicated histories of duplicated characters. As the cover blurb says, "What's going on here?" indeed.

Anyway, I loved and hated this story at the same time. While the comic had action and adventure galore, I just plain didn't understand what the hell was going on. In addition to there being two nearly identical universes and multiple versions of each character, the primary antagonist was the ghost of Hugo Strange (represented by his giant floating head) who was using, among other things, the retired classic Batmobile to attack Batman and friends. Um, okay. Sure, why not? Yes, this comic had it all! Alternate universes, skin-tight costumes, supernatural powers, impossible machines, ghosts, evil geniuses, giant heads... it's everything that you think of when you think "comic book."

In hindsight, this book clearly prepared me for decades of alternate Batman mythologies to come. It also established my affinity for the classic 40s Batmobile and giant-headed, misanthropic geniuses. I could have done a lot worse for a first-timer.

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Recently I was asked if I was forced to choose between Batman and football, which would I choose to eliminate from the world. In honor of such a stupid question, I declare September "Batman and Football month." Batman and football for all!

Dawgs 41, Western Kentucky 12. In the first quarter, UGA's Micky Henderson returned a punt the length of the field and then fumbled during his celebration just before he reached the goalline. On the next WKU punt, Henderson returned the ball the length of the field again, this time remembering to hold onto the ball. It was a very exciting way to open the game.

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More proof that Batman isn't gay:

Robin is.

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I recently read that Pope Benedict XVI's chief exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth believes that Hitler was possessed by the Devil. First of all, I would like to point out that this, taken literally, would make a GREAT movie. Secondly, why does the Pope have a chief exorcist?

To quote Father Amorth from a Vatican Radio broadcast:

One of the key requirements for an exorcism is to be present in front of the possessed person and that person also has to be consenting and willing. Therefore trying to carry out an exorcism on someone who is not present, or consenting and willing would prove very difficult.

If the possessee has to be present, consenting and willing, isn't an exorcism more like an intervention? The language used in the above quote seems very... less than supernatural. Couldn't any behavior that is clearly contrary to the tenants of the Roman Catholic Church be considered satanic in nature? Therefore do Catholics see exorcists instead of psychologists? Exorcisms don't seem nearly as exciting as Dr. Strange would have had me believe.

Note, please, that Father Amorth is also the founder of the International Association of Exorcists, an elite band of professional, church appointed exorcists. (Priests can now take exorcism classes at the Vatican's Pontifical Academy. I hear that the exorcism classes fill up fast, behind only "Why You Can't Put Holes In Holy Water And Other Confusing Catechisms Explained," and "Holy Eucharist, Altar-Boy!".) He has said that "behind Harry Potter hides the signature of the king of the darkness, the devil." And who would know better than Vatican City's official exorcist?

By the way, Father Amorth considers The Exorcist his favorite movie. Go figure.

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Pluto is not a planet. So sayeth the International Astronomical Union. ("International Astronomical"? Are they inclusive enough with their title? "Can everybody find a seat?")

As of yesterday, the World Scientists, in a very 1984 scenario, voted to re-define the term "planet." Because of the new definition, Pluto got the cold shoulder. Feeling sorry for the old bean, they created a new category of "dwarf planet" for Pluto and it's solar-system neighbors. I think most people will agree that the tag "dwarf" is not much of a consolation prize.

I'm not really against this decision. Pluto has never quite gotten along with the gang. (Think of the dweeb that used to hang around with your clique in high school just so that you & your friends would have someone to stuff into trashcans: that's Pluto to the other planets.) I suppose it's more surprising that it took scientists several thousand years to define the word "planet," a word with a vestigial tail lingering from ancient Greek and a concept strongly tied to ancient pagan polytheistic deity worship. Confusion of the nature of planets has lingered for years; in the past, even large asteroids have been considered planets, if only temporarily. It's nice to finally have some closure on the issue, at least for a few hundred years or so, when they'll no doubt redefine it again.

On the other hand, this redefinition of Pluto may have long lasting and drastic implications on modern culture. Disney will have to put down Mickey's dog. Whole planetariums will have to be razed and rebuilt from scratch. On my Solarquest game board, Pluto property values will plummet. Galactus, the Eater of Planets, will have to tighten his belt. Millions of textbooks will have to have stickers added that say, "See? Scientists are fickle and can't decide on anything so evolution must be bullshit." The last four generations of humans will begin to question everything that they've ever been taught by The Man. (Wisely, the prescient Gustav Holst refused to compose an amended Pluto movement for his masterpiece suite The Planets, saving his artistic legacy from scientific destruction.) In short, this nearsighted redefinition has the potential to DESTROY THE WORLD.

And then again, when was the last time that you really thought about Pluto, anyway? Maybe this is just a PR move on the part of a washed-up attention-hound long discarded. Perhaps Pluto, which could really never make up its mind if it was the 8th or 9th planet, simply decided it was time for a new crowd and finally moved out of it's parents' basement. Good for you, Pluto! Go be somebody! This is the 21st century; if a dwarf can't make it here, there's always next century.

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Football season approaches rapidly. One of the best parts of the NFL season (and there are many, many highlights of the NFL season every season) is the Tuesday Morning Quarterback (TMQ for short) column written by Gregg Easterbrook. I was caught by surprise this week when I discovered that TMQ was returning to Page 2 on ESPN.com this year after several years at NFL.com. Apparently this switch was announced way back in April and I didn't notice it. The season hasn't even started yet and I've already almost fumbled the ball!

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