Showing 1 - 10 of 42 posts found matching keyword: toys
Finally! An appropriate thing to be made in the shape of a poo emoji!
Go ahead. Squeeze it.
"Best for photo ops" it says. I mean, yeah, I suppose if you are determined to take a photo of your dog eating poo, better this than the real thing.
As if being pegged by a dodgeball wasn't bad enough...
Thanks for nothing, Aldi.
It's poo! It's a unicorn! It's a Poonicorn!
What will they think of next? I hope I don't find out.
When I started this series of posts, I thought that the shit emoji must be a fad that would lose its appeal over time. I was wrong.
Yes, I showed you a floating pile of shit last year, but that one was recommended for ages 9 and up. This one is suitable for 7-year-olds. Next year expect shit-shaped water wings.
Mom spotted this "not gross at all" product at the dollar store:
She told me that she had to take a second glance at the "slimy and sticky" blurb. On first glance, she thought it said "scratch and sniff." She couldn't believe that anyone would want scratch and sniff poo.
It wasn't 30 minutes later when we found this on an endcap at Michaels:
I admit it; I scratched, and I sniffed. Do you want to smell my finger?
Poo you hit with a stick.
I'm afraid to think what might come out.
Louis Vuitton is a well known French luxury fashion brand famous for their expensive purses like the Artsy MM:
That purse retails for $2,000, which explains why they are such a common target for counterfeiters. Therefore, the company is unusually aggressive about taking legal action against perceived violators of their valuable brand. That's why they sent MGA Entertainment Inc. a cease and desist letter over MGA's top-selling toy, the Poopsie Pooey Puitton.
According to Amazon.com, Poopsie Pooey Puitton contains 12 unicorn food packets. "Just add water to make a rainbow of poop!" Who wouldn't want that? Other than Louis Vuitton, I mean.
In response to Louis Vuitton's bullying, MGA has pre-emptively sued to defend their right for parody speech. The following is a real sentence in a real court filing, per Reuters.
The use of the Pooey name and Pooey product in association with a product line of "magical unicorn poop" is intended to criticize or comment upon the rich and famous, the Louis Vuitton name, the LV marks, and on their conspicuous consumption.
Make a statement about rampant materialism; buy your Poopsie Pooey Puitton today! (Did I mention this product is aimed at 5- to 10-year-olds?)
And that's where we are now. 2019. Year of the magical unicorn poop. At least until Louis Vuitton gets their hands on it. Or gets it on their hands.
I must be earning a reputation. I now have friends sending me pics of poo whenever they're spotted in the wild.
Thank you, Brian. If anything ever deserved to be on clearance at Wal-Mart, it's a toy based on everyone's favorite Caddyshack scene.
Found in the lobby of my local grocery store:
This crappy machine is, in fact, in the same grocery store as before. I'm starting to think I shouldn't shop there anymore.
Comments (1)| Leave a Comment | Tags: piles of shit toys trumps america
It's a lollipop. You put it in your mouth. Eat shit, America!
Footnote: while investigating this "candy," I discovered that its manufacturer, Flix Candy, also makes a wind-up pile of shit. "Wind him up and watch him walk and poop candy!" they say. I think I'll pass.