Showing 11 - 20 of 39 posts found matching keyword: toys

As I said in my first post this month, Superman turns 75 years old in 2013. To help illustrate how old that is, this is a picture of the very first Superman toy.

You kids get off my yard!

Your grandparents might have played with this thing. It's a toy made of wood! In the year 2013, not even toothpicks are made from wood anymore.

That's a 13-inch Superman figure made by Ideal Novelty & Toy Company in 1939/40. Back then they called it a doll. These days, we'd call that an action figure and emphasize its 14 points of articulation. After all, boys don't buy dolls.

This doll belongs to my friend Otto, who owns two of them. (Why 2? Because when Otto finds something this awesome, he doubles down!) His dolls have been restored and re-painted, especially noticeable on the faces. If you look at the original face of the doll, you might understand why. Hey, this is America; who hasn't had a facelift by the age of 75?

Happy Diamond Jubilee, Superman!

(If you're interested, you can see pictures of Otto's restorations on his Tumblr blog, otto-pedia.)

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Remember this?

Far too cool to be a real vehicle.

According to the Padorapedia, that toy represents a SA-2 Samson. If you are one of the billion people who made the 2009 film Avatar the highest grossing movie of all time, you will probably recognize it as "that cool helicopter from Avatar."

Designed as a piece of CGI science fiction, it is both distinctive and totally awesome looking. There isn't anything quite like it either in the real world or even elsewhere in fiction. This uniqueness qualifies it as the intellectual property of whoever owns the rights to Avatar, be that either 20th Century Fox or James Cameron.

So of course I was surprised when I saw this in my local Target:

Batman airways doesn't take passengers.

Finally we know the answer to "where does he get those wonderful toys." For the Batman, the best part of living outside the law means not paying licensing rights.

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Every year, they change fortune cookies formats on me. In the past, I have gotten statement cookies and platitude cookies. This past week, I ate a cookie that I would have guessed contained a typo, except the next several cookies were just as bad. So this year, I introduce the non-sequitur cookie. Bon a petite!

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How am I supposed to type 'Toys R Us' if I don't have a backwards 'R' key?

According to Wikipedia, "the number of different shapes of the Rubik's Snake is at most

423 = 70,368,744,177,664 ≈ 7 • 1013

The real number of different shapes is lower and still unknown, since some configurations are spatially impossible (because they would require multiple prisms to occupy the same region of space)."

But I don't think you should expect the bow tie-wearing nerds working at Toys R Us to know that.

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One year ago, I uploaded a fortune cookie. After my recent dining experience yielded a banal "you display the wonderful trait of charm and courtesy," I've decided to reformat it as a platitude cookie. Have fun. Or don't. I don't really care.

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At my mother's request, I built a relatively simple countdown timer in a web-embedded Flash application last week. Unable to leave well enough alone, I kept building and building until I arrived at a cookie-based app that I am making freely available to you, my adoring blog readers. Consider it my Christmas present to you.

The countdown is based on a cookie that you will set by running the page. The edit function re-writes the cookie. So what you set the counter for will be stored in your browser only. In addition to keeping your privacy, this means that you can use two different browsers to set two different counters simultaneously! And yes, there is a mute button, if the sound of the seconds of your life ticking away gets on your nerves.

You can find the app at www.wriphe.com/timer/. Bookmark it.

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The world's first "sex robot" was unveiled this weekend in -- where else? -- Las Vegas. Its name is Roxxxy. Roxxxy is a complex electronic toy embedded in the body a Real Doll, which essentially makes it a very expensive Teddy Ruxpin that you can fuck. Before dismissing this as a lone pervert's dream come true, realize that this brings us one step closer to Daryl Hannah in Blade Runner, which would be considered many normal men's dream come true. So here in 2010 we may be no closer to flying cars then we were in 1960, but at least we've got sex robots.

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UPDATE 01/12/09: You should see a fortune cookie above this text. If you don't see it, you don't have Flash plugged into your browser. If you do see it, you can click on that cookie repeatedly for fortunes. I really wish I didn't have to include this bit of explanation, but when your Mom tells you that she doesn't understand why you would post a picture of an unopened fortune cookie, it's time for drastic measures.

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The 2009 W.A.T.C.H. list of dangerous toys is out. This year amid such life-threatening fare as Lots to Love Babies and Curious Baby Curious George Counting - My First Book of Numbers lurks none other than the Wolverine! World Against Toys Causing Harm warns that X-Men Origins Slashin' Action Wolverine presents the "POTENTIAL FOR EYE AND AND OTHER IMPACT INJURIES!" (Their capitalization, not mine. My Caps Lock key works just fine, thank you.) Well, duh. After all, Wolverine is the best there is at what he does, and what he does is not cuddling. He is genetically designed always to be running with scissors, for Pete's Sake, hardly a proper role model for little Jack and Jill. The figure's packaging brags that Wolverine is an “indestructible combat machine," which sounds about right (and, despite W.A.T.C.H.'s criticism that the toy packaging contains no caution label, qualifies as all the warning any eye impact injury-free parent should need). Giving Wolverine to a toddler is equivalent to giving him a plugged in toaster filled with forks. I don't see that on your list, W.A.T.C.H.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'd like to buy that Spy-Gear Viper-Blaster that W.A.T.C.H. discourages. Because a gun that shoots snakes sounds like something Santa will be giving Toys For Tots this year.

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G.I.Joe's latest relaunch, G.I.Joe: Resolute, aired on Cartoon Network this weekend, and it suffers from all of the same problems as modern comics, I'm sorry to say. (No surprise: it was written by Warren Ellis, once of the writers most responsible for the modern bloodlust of mainstream comics.)

What's new about this G.I.Joe? Not much. Despite a clear and present danger to the governments of the world by terrorist organization Cobra, only the G.I.Joe team does anything about it. It remains unexplained how Cobra thinks they can take control of the world when none of their soldiers can hit the broad side of a barn with a gun. The Joes stay in "uniform" at all times, even if that means that Beachhead wears his balaclava inside an aircraft carrier. No Joe performs the mission for which s/he is most qualified: (Scarlet, not Ripcord, performs a HALO jumps into enemy territory, and Tunnel Rat, not Payload, goes into space to jury-rig a satellite). And Duke is still a quitter and all-around douche.

What's different? Other than the anime-influced style: death. Exactly 10,362,756 die in the first 5 minutes. (How's that for a specific number, eh? That includes the onscreen death count when Moscow is vaporized by an ultra high-tech Cobra particle cannon.) Eighteen deaths later, we see the supposedly heroic Roadblock laugh maniacally as he guns down 7 Cobra guards from behind. And Duke, shortly after ordering his own subordinates to abandon him to die, decides that the solution to the episode's conflict is the assassination of Cobra Commander. (Take note, Duke; if you kill your principal antagonist, it's harder to sell accessory packs for all the environments that you didn't show in the episode.)

No matter how you slice it, that's a lot of animated death for television designed to sell toys. "The new G.I.Joe, now with more armageddon!"

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To be continued...

 

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