Today, Friends Ken and James dragged me to a movie theater to watch

78/2510. Superman (2025)

It's the first time I've seen Superman in a theater since Superman Returns (which I really, strongly dislike). And I have to say... it's okay.

To explain why my rating is more-or-less "meh," may I remind you that a few years ago, there was a then-new movie adaptation of the book Emma (which I really, strongly love). But the reviewers for that movie kept harping on how accurate to the Jane Austen source material it was, which, in hindsight, only proved that they themselves weren't particularly familiar with the source material. Maybe they read the Cliff's Notes version.

This Superman is kind of like that.

Sure, it's got a lot of silly comic-booky elements, but it really is a typically James Gunn script that isn't particularly interested in being accurate to any characterizations, stories, or even costumes that have ever appeared in the pages of any DC Comics. (Particularly Krypto. I just couldn't get past Krypto being a shaggy, simple-minded dog. In the comics, he is neither, and, as much as I love dogs, this movie never gives me a reason to forget that. And don't even get me started on the character assassination of Supergirl in service to what must have been a Superboy and the Ravers fanboy in-joke.)

All the reviews for the movie, both good and bad, praise both Lois Lane and Krypto. I certainly agree about Rachel Brosnahan, who was as underused as Lois always is, but I find it surprising that more aren't singling out Mister Terrific being terrific (in a modern take of a blaxploitation superhero). There are several moments where it actually feels like his movie and I am there for it.

But I recognize that all of the things I have to complain about are more a feature than a bug of these sorts of blockbuster movies, especially in the superhero genre. Gunn's muddled plot moves real fast and hopes you wont notice that nothing really lines up, a fact that Gunn himself lampoons with a final post-credit scene. If that sort of tongue-in-cheek metafictional humor floats your boat, this is definitely for you.

Even though Superman often seems superfluous in his own movie, it still is the best live-action Superman film in 40 years. Take that however you will.

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Earlier this week, General Mills issued a press release promoting Simone Biles appearing on Wheaties boxes. In March, they announced new Sonic the Hedgehog fruit snacks, and in January, they alerted fans that Ice-T loved Honey Nut Cheerios. Cleary, they love telling us about their marketing synergy.

Yet somehow they failed to notify the public that this was coming:

The packaging tells us "Strong Berry" cereal is really Cap'n Crunch. I suppose this tastes the same as Crunch Berries, just with all of the pieces shaped like little diamonds. In other words, you're going to need a Mouth of Steel to survive eating this.

Amusingly, in keeping with the comic book theme, there is also a variant of this cereal with Supergirl on the cover box, all the better to sell the same cereal to little boys and little girls. Sorta makes you wonder why there isn't a female Cap'N Crunch, doesn't it.

We're currently living in a dystopia of infinite inflation, but you can get this at Target for a measly $3.49. Superman is all about helping the little people!

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The Super Dictionary has a well-deserved reputation for, shall we say, unusual definitions of words, but the above is not really a page in the Super Dictionary. It's a poster by artist Marco D'Alfonso currently for sale on m7781.storeenvy.com.

I still have my original Super Dictionary on the shelf right in front of me, and I'm sure that its actual definition for "happy" is much less warped.

Never mind. Super Dictionary, you win again!

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Today marks the start of the 13th annual Wriphe.com Superman Month!

Is this the year I finally make it to the Superman Celebration in Metropolis, Illinois? Probably not. It's next weekend, and I already have other plans.

Their guests of honor will include original Supergirl, Helen Slater, and Erica Durance, Smallville's Lois Lane. Their lists of guest artists, however, leaves something to be desired compared to past years. I guess they do have to save something for next year.

Out of curiosity, I took a look at the Greater Metropolis Convention & Visitors Bureau website to see what else there might be to do in town between autograph sessions underneath the Superman Statue. Metropolis isn't a big town, and the Visitors Bureau only lists 15 total "sights and attractions." Of course the big draw is the Harrah's Casino (which I haven't visited) and the Super Museum & Gift Shop (which I have and highly recommend). They also have a bowling alley, gym, state park, and microbrewery. I guess the town isn't big enough to support a full sized brewery.

Their most unusual non-Superman offering might be the Mermet Springs "full service dive site" inside an abandoned stone quarry that includes "the jet airplane from the movie U.S. Marshals." That short sells what they offer, as the Mermet Springs website lists 2 additional planes and 10 other man made objects to swim around. Not counting Jimmy Olsen.

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The annual Superman Celebration returns to Metropolis, Illinois this weekend. Scheduled guests include three Jimmy Olsens: Marc McClure from Superman: The Movie, Michael Landis from Superman: Lois and Clark, and Mehcad Brooks from the current Supergirl show on CBS The CW. That's a lot of Jimmies! Too bad the real Jimmy Olsen didn't live to see this. (Rest in Peace Jack Larson.)

Also dropping by is Peter Facinelli (just $20 for a photo op!). He plays Justice League founder Max Lord on Supergirl, but he's no doubt best known for his participation in the Twilight movies. It might be interesting to see how the Twilight and Superman fan bases overlap. Sparkle, sparkle!

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We interrupt this blog for a word in support of Supergirl: I saw the pilot episode last week, and I liked it.

I liked the premise. The show invents a background for the character that combines the histories of various comic book incarnations of Supergirl, so whichever Supergirl is "your" Supergirl, you'll find something familiar. Personally, I missed Argo City, but I suspect the show will get around to that sooner than later.

I also liked the cast. Melissa Benoist is a cheerful yet powerful Kara Zor-El, and Calista Flockhart makes a passable J. Jonah Jameson analog. (Yes, I know Superman's boss is Perry White, but Calista's Cat Grant character is channeling The Devil Wears Prada's Meryl Streep. At his worst, Perry White just isn't that callous.) I especially enjoyed Mehcad Brooks playing the buff, black re-imagining of Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen. I hope that the inclusion of Hank Henshaw (Cyborg Superman!) and the Department of Extranormal Operations (D.E.O) means that we will soon see its director, Mr. Bones. (For those who don't read comics, Mr. Bones looks like a chain-smoking skeleton because all of his soft tissue organs are invisible. Because mad scientists!)

But my favorite part of the show is Superman himself. He's never fully seen on screen, but his presence drives almost every interaction, from Kara's origin to the motivation of her supporting cast and enemies. Rarely a scene passed without a mention or allusion to him. Clearly, every character on the show is in awe of Superman (as they should be). To some viewers it might seem intrusive, but to me it felt appropriate. If Superman were a real person, leaping over tall buildings and speeding past bullets, we'd talk about him and his exploits all the time. There'd be a cottage industry built around it. In Supergirl's National City, there is.

Do I have complaints? You betcha. CGI special effects often looked cheap. Villain motivation was razor-thin to non-existent. Character mood swings border on the psychotic. The costume is far too dark. (And what's with the black nylons? Who wears pantyhose anymore?) But all those gripes were minor irritations in the bigger picture. When the episode ended, I was smiling.

I look forward to seeing more in January after the Monday Night Football season ends. I could probably record Supergirl episodes, but I don't want to get carried away. I can only like so many things at a time, you know.

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Quick question: what's the best way to honor a dying Superman?

Answer: raise the global ocean levels for world-wide flooding. I'm sure that Superman would be honored by global genocide in his name, Supergirl. If you kill everyone off, who is going to be around to read his farewell message?

Hasn't anyone from Krypton ever heard of sending flowers?

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Superman/Batman: Apocalypse has its Los Angeles today and its New York City theatrical debut Thursday, a week in advance of it's DVD release. Of course, this keeps the movie from being a "straight-to-DVD" release. Perhaps Warner hopes the movie will find a more forgiving audience on the big screen than their last comic-book inspired movie, Jonah Hex.

The Warner Brothers press release bills the movies as the latest in "the ongoing series of DC Universe Animated Original PG-13 Movies." What, exactly, does Warner Brother consider so "original" about a cartoon based on a sucky 2004 comic book which was itself based largely on stories that had been published 40 years before it? Also from the press release:

Based on the DC Comics series/graphic novel "Superman/Batman: Supergirl" by Jeph Loeb, Michael Turner & Peter Steigerwald, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse is produced by animation legend Bruce Timm and directed by Lauren Montgomery (Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths) from a script by Academy Award-nominated screenwriter Tab Murphy (Gorillas in the Mist).

Does the artist of the "graphic novel" even matter now that it's a movie? And since when is Gorillas in the Mist a selling point for an audience of comic book fans? More to the point, Murphy receives only "story" credit for Gorillas, whereas Anna Hamilton Phelan was credited "screenwriter/story." I'm no expert on WGA rules, but I'm pretty sure that if you brag on someone as an "Academy Award-nominated" something, that someone should probably have gotten equal or better credits than everyone else credited. (No offense to Mr. Murphy. He has a credible career writing scripts for several big-time Disney movies, like Atlantis and Tarzan, both of which would probably be a better press release tease than Gorillas.)

This is the second Superman/Batman movie in as many years based on the comic book of the same name. When is Warner Brothers going to start making "original" animated movies based on good comic books? There really shouldn't be any shortage. After all, DC has only been publishing comics for 75 years. With that sort of back-catalogue, you wouldn't think a good "original" story based on something not written by Jeph Loeb would be all that hard to find.

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Why do I have a Superman Month? Because in my daily life, I have telephone conversations in which I discuss the existence of adult Underoos. Behold:

Of course, that's a Supergirl costume. These things actually exist (they can be purchased here) and yes, they are licensed by DC Comics. But don't worry, they make something for the boys, too.

Seriously, this underwear is every dick joke rolled into one convenient package, pun intended. Also available here, it takes a certain kind of man to wear these things in private, much less over his tights. A giant "S" emblem exactly over the business end and a waistband that reads "Man of Steel"? Subtle. Something tells me that the wearer of these bad boys frequents hookers.

But I'm not saying that I don't want a pair very, very desperately. "Up, up and away!"

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The Preakness Stakes is tomorrow, and Kentucky Derby champion Mine That Bird is currently the betting favorite to win at 11-2 odds, considerably better than the 50-1 odds that he beat to win the Derby. Don't get me wrong, I'm not endorsing gambling on the ponies. I don't even generally care for horse racing outside of the Triple Crown events. It's a sport for rich people, and I'm more of a... poor person. The closest I've ever come to owning a horse is possessing a copy of Who's Who in the DC Universe featuring the Legion of Super-Pets, which naturally includes Comet the Super-Horse.

(I really love the depictions for breaking the time barrier in Silver Age Superman comics. Time, ladies and gentlemen, is a rainbow.)

However, I don't think Comet should be allowed to race in any horse-race, but not because of his super-speed. No, see, Comet is really a Grecian centaur accidentally transformed into a horse, granted superpowers as a consolation for the mistake, banished to a comet for millennia by his enemies, and freed from said imprisonment by the happenstance passage of a rocket ship that contained a young Supergirl fleeing the destruction of Krypton. It all makes sense if you think about it. Comet isn't a horse, but a man trapped in a horse's body. You wouldn't let a man enter a horse race, would you?

Of course this begs the question that if Comet had a highly developed brain, was sentient, and capable of telepathic communication, why in the world would he join a group called the Legion of Super-Pets in the first place? Just because he let Supergirl ride on his back, he qualified as a pet? (Superman's Pet, Lois Lane probably isn't going to appear on newsracks anytime soon.) What male wouldn't let Supergirl ride on his back?

Fast fact: in "The Secret Identity of Super-Horse," Action Comics #301, Comet was granted the form of a bipedal human -- his fondest wish -- and began a romance with Supergirl. Turnabout is fair play, it would seem. Maybe I've just got a salacious mind, but that sounds like a comic I've got to get my hands on. I suppose a "Super-Pet" must be a little different than a traditional pet. Maybe it's the equivalent of a pet with benefits.

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