I wouldn't have gotten through the summer of 2020 without frequent (weekly) viewings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The balm of summer 2022 is turning out to be Dua Lipa's Future Nostalgia album, which I have listened to every-other day (or more often) since June.

Thanks, Britain!

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In hindsight, do I watch a lot of movies about death?

39/2048. Death on the Nile (2022)
There's a lot in this that sequel to The Orient Express that will feel not quite right to hardcore Christie fans, but I was more bothered by the CGI used to replicate 1930s Cairo than the anachronistic cultural mores or addition of Poirot's backstory. Don't get me wrong, I still liked it and would definitely keep watching Kenneth Branagh Poirot movies.

40/2049. The End (1978)
In this blackest of comedies, Burt Reynolds plays a man so afraid of pain that he is determined to kill himself before his terminal disease can. When this film works, it's usually because of Burt's natural charm, though it does squeeze some good comedy bits from very real human situations. (I found the third act slapstick to be too broad given the dark matter that preceded it. Your mileage — and tolerance of Dom DeLuise's over-the-top antics — may vary.)

Drink Coke and die!

41/2050. The Green Knight (2021)
The classic legend is about a knight on a quest to have his head chopped off, but this modern telling is more acid trip than road trip. Every line of dialog only makes the story more confusing. It might be more tolerable if it wasn't all filmed in a dark forest without lighting. Blech.

42/2051. The New Mutants (2020)
Whenever someone wonders what "studio interference" is, point them to this movie. The writer and director were very clearly using trying to make a horror film about adolescence and sexual awakening, but the studio wanted more traditional superhero fare. The actors seem completely confused (disinterested?) about what they're supposed to be doing, and the result *is* a nightmare, just not one that anyone would want to see.

43/2052. Tony Hawk: Until the Wheels Fall Off (2022)
The old footage and glowing interviews about Hawk's early days are cool. Unfortunately, Hawk is unable or unwilling to examine his adult life outside of the world of skating, so in the end, he seems almost a victim rather than a champion, especially as the story ends wallowing on his inevitable physical decline. Was the intention of this documentary to make him a martyr?

44/2053. Closed for Storm (2020)
Another documentary, this time about the doomed New Orleans Jazzland theme park, from its conception to its destruction by Katrina to its abandonment by Six Flags to New Orleans' continued inability to do anything with it's remains. Honestly, it's the last part that I found most interesting because that was when the film veered from mere morbid nostalgia to something bordering on political activism against corrupt governance. Rage against the dying of the light, indeed. Of course I liked it.

More to come.

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When I was in elementary school, my favorite book was Bunnicula. (Actually, if memory serves, my favorite was the third book in the "Bunnicula" series, The Celery Stalks at Midnight. You gotta love that title!)

In a fit of nostalgia, I searched to see if that book was still in publication. Turns out it is. A 40th Anniversary Edition was released in 2019. And surprise, surprise, in 2016 it was turned into a series of 104 cartoons for Cartoon Network. (Where was I while that was happening?)

Now, I happen to know that the 2016 cartoon is not the first animated adaptation. Bunnicula, the Vampire Rabbit was produced in 1982 by Ruby-Spears (the same company that brought the world Police Academy: The Animated Series). I had only the vaguest recollection that this existed, and if you don't remember seeing it, that's because it is objectively awful.

Teach the kids early: the book is always better than the movie.

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Finally! These are the final entries in my 2020 new-to-me movie list, all coming from December.

199. (1853.) Going Attractions: The Definitive Story of the Movie Palace (2019)
This is a documentary about the kind of movie houses that barely exist anymore, those built to worship the mythology of the big silver screen. It's equal parts nostalgia and an oral history of the decline and fall of western civilization. I loved it.

200. (1854.) Monster Zero (1965)
This is one of the Toho Godzilla films (also released as Invasion of Astro-Monster). Here's the plot: a group of aliens beg Earthings to lend them Godzilla in order to eradicate the threat King Ghidrah presents to their home, Planet X, but it's all really a trick to get Godzilla off Earth so the aliens can take over. I have to assume it made more sense in the original language, because this thing was nutso in all the best possible ways.

201. (1855.) Black Christmas (1974)
A slasher flick which treads heavily on the "The call is coming from inside the house" ghost story. I did not find it particularly satisfying, despite the presence of Margot Kidder and John Saxon.

202. (1856.) Teen Titans GO! To the Movies (2018)
I watched this only to see Booster Gold, and I was pleasantly surprised. Fans of comic books will enjoy.

203. (1857.) Downhill (1927)
This early Alfred Hitchcock silent doesn't have a cameo appearance by the director, which is a shame, because the film is equally devoid of any real substance. (Rich boy gets blamed for knocking up a shop clerk and his life goes quickly, well, you get the idea.) For Hitchcock diehards only.

204. (1858.) Red Sun (1971)
Did you know there was a spaghetti western starring Charles Bronson and Toshiro Mifune, the samurai who inspired The Man With No Name? Well, there is. And it's very good.

205. (1859.) It Happened on Fifth Avenue (1947)
Another very good film, this time a light comedy of errors featuring class warfare butting up against Christian spirit. It could easily have ended happily several times, but to its credit, it never takes the easy way out and still resolves excellently. A Merry Christmas to us all!

Onward to 2021! More to come.

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In late 2011, DC transitioned to "The New 52," a publishing initiative intended to attract new readers to comics by reimagining the DC Comics universe of characters for 21st-century audiences. In that regard, it was a big success. New readers did flock to DC's titles, but at the cost of many longtime readers who had supported the publisher for decades and now felt betrayed. When the new readers moved on to the next fad, DC was left without any readers at all.

Four-and-a-half years later, in 2016, the company predictably responded to the failures of the New 52 with a return to the characters and stories the New 52 had discarded. They called this event "Rebirth," and it was in some ways good and in other ways more of the same poorly thought-out, short-term behavior that had doomed the New 52. For example, it was promoted from the beginning that the famously enigmatic Batman villain Joker would finally get an origin story. Fans loved that idea, so, naturally DC didn't follow through on it for four more years as they instead focused on revisiting stores from the 1980s. And they wonder why their market share keeps shrinking.

Which brings us to the year 2020 and The Three Jokers, its name alone an overt reference to the self-inflicted damage that decades of navel-gazing reboots have done to what passes for history in the lives of DC superheros like Batman. As so much else from DC these days, the story of The Three Jokers is woven around some of the biggest Joker stories ever told, most of them more than thirty years old.

Why should any young reader be interested in returning yet again to stories written when their fathers were children? Why should their fathers buy the same old story a third, fourth, or fifth time? Nostalgia is a game of diminishing returns, and all this navel gazing only continues to alienate readers already concerned that DC has nothing new to offer in exchange for the $5 cover price cost of a modern comic book.

Clearly DC learned the wrongest of lessons from their New 52 debacle a decade ago and have reverted to repeating the same mistakes that got them into that mess to begin with. Something tells me that if the Joker was a real person, he'd get a kick out of that.

This page was published in 2010. The more things change....

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The Hollywood Reporter reports the totally inevitable news that Disney is remaking Bambi as a "live-action feature" as a "companion piece to its remakes The Jungle Book and The Lion King." I can't tell you how much it bothers me that Disney insists on calling its computer-generated eye-candy "live-action." I also can't tell you exactly why.

A large part of it must be related to my distaste for Disney itself. I once had a great deal of respect for the company that Walt built on the back of an animated mouse. Mr. Disney was an imperfect man, but he really did believe in making disposable entertainment into art. His successors less so. These days, the powers-that-be at Disney are obsessed solely in their quest to be the only entertainment company on earth. They'll do anything that gets them an extra almighty dollar, mostly including exploiting pre-packaged nostalgia for Walt's corpse.

However, a bigger problem is the lie itself. Computers are powerful, but outside of Weird Science, they remain incapable of breathing life into binary code. Nothing about The Lion King was live action, but Disney has been very careful to avoid saying so. (For example, they refused to submit the movie for consideration for Best Animated Feature Film Oscar.) I don't know why. Movies aren't real to begin with, so why mislead people about how they are made?

It increasingly looks like we're living in a post-truth society. The man in the White House can't say two sentences without a lie. Facebook will not restrict political campaigns from spreading intentional, demonstrable mistruths in paid advertising. Enemy states are using face-switching technology to promote propaganda on social media. With politicians already doing such a great job at it, why should we let corporations continue to degrade America's tenuous grasp on "reality" any further?

Sigh. I know I'm over-reacting. It's just promotional press for a movie that I won't watch. (Unless they shoot Bambi this time.) I know I'm just getting old and weary. But these uncontested, re-reported lies are really starting to get to me. It feels like 1984 is getting closer ever day, and now it's coming soon to a theater near you.

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November wasn't only about pies and movies!

When I was a kid, my favorite Christmas decoration was a pair of legs painted on plywood mounted to the top of a chimney. They were connected to a windshield wiper motor and kicked, like Santa was stuck face down. It was a good gag.

Cue earlier last month when Mom said that she wanted a new Christmas yard decoration. She was looking at lit Santa Claus blow molds like she had on her door as a child, but when she tried to convey the idea, all I could think of were those kicking legs.

I didn't manage the same level of technical innovation, but I think I got the nostalgia angle right.

Kind of looks like a bit of Photoshop there, doesn't it? Here it is a little closer.

My next door neighbor seems to like it. He's already asked where we bought it so that he could get one of his own. Mom had to let him down easy. This Santa stands alone.

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I saw 23 films in July, but I still haven't finished reporting for June. So let's take care of that now.

111. (1550.) Legally Blonde (2001)
I've never been a big Reese Witherspoon fan, but I do understand now why so many people like this film. It's dumb and fluffy, but sometimes that's all you want in a comedy.

112. (1551.) Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)
Uh-oh. Dumber and less inspired than the first. Not a good mix. Easy to see why there hasn't been a third.

113. (1552.) Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
To be perfectly clear, this isn't a bad movie. It's well made and the actors appear to be trying very hard, often too hard. But, and this is a big but, it feels soulless, like a ghost wearing the skin of someone you loved in order to lure you into its clutches.

114. (1553.) On Dangerous Ground (1951)
The worst part of this crime noir is the ending with its totally unearned "happy" outcome for the disillusioned hero and the embittered object of his desire. I can't recommend it.

115. (1554.) Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012)
By the time this was made, I don't think the audience it was meant to serve existed anymore. Who needs softcore porn in the Internet era? It's a weird sort of nostalgia indeed.

116. (1555.) The Monster Squad (1987)
The Goonies remade with the Universal Monsters. It has it's moments, but they are few and far between. For the record, I feel the same way about The Goonies.

More to come.

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Since I obviously don't have much else to say right now, let's just keep going with movie reviews, shall we?

50. (1279.) Straight Outta Compton (2015)
Nostalgia is insidious! I distinctly recall that I was no fan of "gangsta" rap back in the day, but watching this movie I caught myself thinking how much better NWA was than the hip hop I've heard recently. That realization made me ask myself whether I like the older music just because it's more familiar? By the same regard, did I enjoy this movie, or did I just enjoy revisiting my past? Dammit! Fuck you, nostalgia.

51. (1280.) Power Rangers (2017)
Another nostalgia trip, if you liked Power Rangers on TV, I don't see why you wouldn't like it here. Unless you hate Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I admit this product placement feels a little too forced.

52. (1281.) Macon County Line (1974)
A different sort of nostalgia for the Korean War generation, this unnecessary bit of youth-in-revolt thriller cinema was written by The Beverly Hillbillies' Jethro, filmed with southern California standing in for Georgia, and probably shouldn't be watched by anyone. I share this piece of product placement as a public service announcement:

That Coke is the only good thing to happen to him in the whole movie.

53. (1282.) Return to Macon County (1975)
Macon County made its producers a lot of money, so the next year they came back with this, a sequel in name only. This one stars before-they-were-famous actors Nick Nolte and Don Johnson as drag race wannabes. (I was more excited to recognize the gun-happy waitress as Robin Mattson, the sister-in-law of the titular "Ricky" in one of the best episodes of The Incredible Hulk.) Don't let all that star power excite you, this is just as boring as its predecessor, though this was at least filmed in Georgia, which might explain why Coca-Cola doubled down on the product placement.

Smile, boys. You're having a Coke!

That's still not the end of March movies!. More to come.

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Today's movie list is a little longer than usual as I finish off February, so bear with me.

32. (1261.) Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
I might be the only person in America who still resists The Rock as an A-list actor, but his charisma is undeniable as the centerpiece of this teenager adventure fantasy. My enjoyment was much improved by the fact that the night before watching this, I started playing Far Cry 4, which might as well be the video game the movie makes fun of.

33. (1262.) Heist (2015)
Who doesn't enjoy a stripped down, European-style action film? It started so slowly that I almost gave up on it, but I'm very pleased that I stuck it out. Fun.

34. (1263.) A Passage to India (1984)
Amazing cinematography frames a story best described as "Life Sucks for Everyone." Beautiful.

35. (1264.) The Joneses (2010)
David Duchovny and Demi Moore star as heads of a fake family planted in suburbia in a corporate guerrilla marketing exercise. I would have liked a little more bite — what Paddy Chayefsky or Billy Wilder couldn't have done with this concept! — but what I got wasn't entirely unsatisfying, thanks largely to the stars.

36. (1265.) Annie Get Your Gun (1950)
Another musical I'd seen most of in clips but never in one sitting. Great songs marred only by Betty Hutton's often overly-broad performance more suited for the stage than the screen.

37. (1266.) Turbo Kid (2015)
I posted the trailer for this movie back on October 2015. I'm very pleased to say that the movie is every bit as good as promised. I'm going to watch it again.

38. (1267.) Eddie and the Cruisers (1983)
There was a lot of talk about this musical mystery movie back when I was in elementary school. I'm glad I didn't watch it then. It takes some tarnish to understand the nostalgia and appreciate the weirdly bittersweet ending. (Also, speaking in hindsight, it's fun to see Joey Pantoliano wearing a bald cap and wig.)

February turned out to be a pretty good month for movies. Let's see if March can raise that bar.

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