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youtube.com

Looks like it's time to buy a Roku.

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Speaking of quotes that have gotten stuck in my head over the years:

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

—Mary Schmidt
"Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young"
Chicago Tribune, June 1, 1997 [source]

I first heard that in my 20s, and now I'm in my 40s. And it *still* applies to me.

For more information about the song that contains that quote, visit wikipedia.org/wiki/Wear_Sunscreen.

For the song itself:


https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI

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We recently changed cable providers, and for the first time in a long time, we have some "premium" channels. Skinemax has gotten a lot more explicit than I remember. Back in my day, Shannon Tweed used to parade around topless and simulate a lot of foreplay. There's not a lot of "simulating" in what they air now. These days, they seem to only hire Method actors, if you know what I mean.

This is not an exaggeration. Wicked Pictures hardcore DVD Thief of Hearts is currently airing on my television as Showtime softcore Stealing Lust, fundamentally the same movie with the most revealing shots and camera angles edited out. (And before you ask, no, I did not know that either film existed off the top of my head. It took no small amount of creative Googling to uncover they were the same movie. Blogging sure can be hard work.)

I'm not complaining, exactly. If you didn't know that the modern actors were doing less acting, the biggest on-screen difference between softcore then and softcore now is mostly a matter of presentation style. (Does anyone know what a merkin is anymore?) And tattoos. So many tattoos now.

If I really miss anything about the softcore films of old, it's the music. I think I first saw The Joy of Flying in 1990. I can't tell you much of anything about the movie (other than that there was a lot of topless frolicking), but the soundtrack left a lasting impression.


https://youtu.be/cfQs5-oqSVY

All choreographed sex scenes could use a little more big band action if you ask me.

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When I was in elementary school, my favorite book was Bunnicula. (Actually, if memory serves, my favorite was the third book in the "Bunnicula" series, The Celery Stalks at Midnight. You gotta love that title!)

In a fit of nostalgia, I searched to see if that book was still in publication. Turns out it is. A 40th Anniversary Edition was released in 2019. And surprise, surprise, in 2016 it was turned into a series of 104 cartoons for Cartoon Network. (Where was I while that was happening?)

Now, I happen to know that the 2016 cartoon is not the first animated adaptation. Bunnicula, the Vampire Rabbit was produced in 1982 by Ruby-Spears (the same company that brought the world Police Academy: The Animated Series). I had only the vaguest recollection that this existed, and if you don't remember seeing it, that's because it is objectively awful.

But don't take my word for it.


https://youtu.be/fvv3ntWzvTE

Teach the kids early: the book is always better than the movie.

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If any commercial could get me to start drinking beer....

For those of you who don't watch the right kinds of television, I created that advertisement from footage of the 1978 The Incredible Hulk television show episode "A Child in Need," in which the Hulk solves a case of child abuse by beating the shit out of the child abuser. Violence is always the answer!

By the way, the title of that video, "Flagler Hits the Spot," was suggested by my mother. So blame her.

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Tired of the Olympics? How about a game everyone can play!

I definitely hear a flushing sound

I took that picture at my local Ollie's Bargain Outlet. I assumed from the lackluster box design (and terrified poop emoji) that it must be crappy, but the game currently has a 4.8 out of 5 star rating on Amazon.com. Sadly, that's not good enough to be "Amazon's Choice" — that honor goes to Poo: The Card Game.

If you're the sort who needs to see it in action before you decide to buy, there's a promotional video of Plunge It! gameplay on YouTube. Let's just say it is an appropriately titled game.

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There's a new commercial in which an animated child holds up a piece of cereal and says, "I wonder where Froot Loops™ come from." Then the camera pulls back to reveal Toucan Sam perching on the top of a box.

I don't think this commercial is selling what Kellogg's® thinks it's selling. I've spent too many hours birdwatching not to know what you'll find under a bird's perch.

Was this advertisement written by William Burroughs?
Follow Your Nose to Froot Loops World (2021), youtube.com

Think I'm reading too much into this? Then why have the animators included a giant prolapsed asshole at the top of the screen?

No breakfast for me today. Or maybe ever again.

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As any good head doctor will tell you, the best treatment for depression is keeping yourself distracted by doing something creative.


Walt Builds a Family Fallout Shelter, sponsored by the National Concrete Masonry Association, 1960

Bomb shelters for everyone!

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Remember that Kickstarter I linked to back in August? Well, that game is done. Here's a trailer for the completed project:


Watch on YouTube.com

Kickstarter backers already have their copies, and It's getting a public release later this month. I'll post a link to that when I have it.

Thanks to all who helped support us.

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Someone asked if I had drawn the Batman PSA I posted on the 2nd. No, I did not. That came straight from DC Comics.

I didn't make this, either. It come straight from the people who made The LEGO Batman Movie.

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To be continued...

 

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