I know that it's still Football and Batman Month, but this movie rundown has no Batman or Football content in it. Sorry about that. I'll try harder next year.

109/2118. We Met in Virtual Reality (2022)
This documentary shines such a colorful spotlight on some of the most virtuous and positive aspects of the virtual reality metaverse that it often feels like a sales pitch. If I didn't already have decades of personal experience that the reality seldom matches the brochure, I might have been swept away. Still, it *is* nice to think that someday maybe we *can* build such a utopia. (If you ask me, no place can be a paradise without Coca-Cola.)

110/2119. Hollywood Shuffle (1987)
Robert Townsend created a very funny movie about the very serious problem the American movie industry has representing Black people on film. It's very good.

111/2120. Promising Young Woman (2020)
I like a good revenge movie, and this is a great revenge movie especially because instead of terrorists or mafia, the villains are apologists for boys-will-be-boys sexual misconduct. It also helps that the cast is chock full of talented comedic actors, an unusual casting choice that really underlines the theme of a two-faced society. Recommended.

112/2121. Danger Lights (1930)
The "danger lights" in the title are railroad markers that warn engineers of obstructions on the track. In this case, the danger is a love triangle. It's not a great film, but it does have some great shots of period railroads. Consider it an historical curiosity.

113/2122. Licorice Pizza (2021)
A very episodic story of a May/December romance based on actual events in early 1970s Los Angeles, Licorice Pizza gets by largely on the freshness of its lead actors. As you must know by now, I'm a sucker for coming-of-age stories, even when the outcome of the love story seems completely unearned.

Paradise is a 1970s analog radio booth.

More to come.

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Everytime I'm about ready to swear off visiting Twitter forever, I find something like this that changes my mind:

I really miss those moralizing PSAs at the end of television shows so common in the 70s and 80s. I guess they did their job so well that we don't need them anymore. Thanks, He-Man!

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Note to self:

I'M NOT WRONG! YOU'RE WRONG!

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Sometimes you go looking for something on the web and you find it.

Sometimes you don't find what you were looking for but you do find something far, far better. Something like this:

Twitter helpfully describes this image in their version of a 404 Page Not Found response as "A primped poodle with a bow in its hair sitting in a chair like a human."

Well, of course! How else is a poodle supposed to sit in a chair? (Perhaps like this. Or maybe like this. I guess my point here is there's no wrong way to seat a poodle.)

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For the past two days in a row, the Internet has gone out at about midnight and remained off for the rest of the night. As a night owl who makes money working online overnight, that has been a real problem for me. I don't know what my ISP is doing or whether the same thing will happen tonight, but just in case, I'm typing this as fast as I ca

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Movies watched in March, part 2 of 3:

29. (1888.) Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018)
No, it's not as good as the original, but once I realized that was the point, I relaxed and really enjoyed what it gave me. The bit with the Disney Princessesâ„¢ more than made up for any dull moments.

31. (1890.) My Dream Is Yours (1949)
A singer who looks and sounds like Doris Day struggling to make it as a singer is not the most believable of plots in a musical movie starring Doris Day, but that's sort of beside the point. You didn't come for the drama; you knew she's destined to succeed when you bought your admission ticket.

32. (1891.) Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
I didn't like Annie Hall, and I like Annie Hall II: The Annie-ing even less. Yeah, it's a mystery movie, but Woody Allen's super-annoying screen persona had me cheering for the killer.

33. (1892.) Witness to Murder (1954)
It's like Rear Window with Barbara Stanwyck as Jimmy Stewart. Because the witness is a woman, no one believes her and the killer manages to have her committed to an asylum. It's good.

35. (1894.) Bugsy Malone (1976)
1976 saw the release of Network, Taxi Driver, Rocky, Carrie, All the President's Men, The Omen, A Star Is Born, and a movie musical scored by Paul Williams in which kids (including Scott Baio and Jodie Foster!) played 1920s gangsters shooting cream pie guns and driving bicycle carts. How did I not know this existed? It's bonkers in the best possible way.

Dance numbers make me thirsty.

More to come.

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By the time you read this, you probably will have heard about the EF3ish tornado that roared through downtown Newnan, Georgia at midnight. Know that my family and I are fine and feeling very, very fortunate.

UPDATE 2021-03-29: Still no estimate on when Internet might be restored. They're still working on digging out downtown. Rumor had it that the high school might have to be bulldozed, but they've decided to try and save it. Hooray?

UPDATE 2021-03-30: Back online! The utility company says that in three neighborhoods they will have to rebuild their network essentially from scratch. That's terrible. Ours was only out for four days, and I was already suffering intense withdrawal.

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He sat back in his overstuffed easy chair and watched the giant Space Force rocket blast off on his television screen. He smiled. It was about time America got back in space — and with the largest rocket yet! It must have cost a pretty penny, but it was worth every cent.

Tomorrow couldn't get here soon enough. Around the water cooler, everyone'd be eagerly talking about today's launch. In the past, they'd've shared the experience on social media, but that was the past. Things were better now. Great, in fact. Better the internets should be shut down than continue to spew their hateful hoaxes and lies. Some people were stupid enough to fall for anything.

He belatedly realized he wouldn't be going to work tomorrow. Work was canceled, thanks to Tommy. The jerk had come down the Chinavirus on Friday, and the company was closed for quarantine. All the employees had been let go. Stupid Tommy. Didn't everyone know gargling a little bleach killed the virus? Oh, well. More time for golf, right?

Except that the course had been unplayable ever since The Wall had been finished and immigration had been outlawed. No one to cut the grass, they said. That's okay. He wasn't a very good golfer anyway. At least now he didn't have to lie to anyone about how many strokes he had taken; zero was the best number you could get on any hole.

The thought of exercise made him thirsty. He'd've liked a beer; all he had was the new official drink of America. There'd been an election on the issue. He'd meant to vote but couldn't take the time off from work. Heh. He had nothing but time now. It'd taken some getting used to, but vodka wasn't all bad.

The white rocket continued to slide up his television screen. So powerful, so beautiful, so white. Just like it ought to be. America sure was great again.

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💩 (🍜-N)

"poo"("noodle"-"n")

"poooodle"

I may have spent too much time alone. I'm beginning to think the entire Internet is sending coded messages just to me.

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Friday, the President of the United States had an hour long press conference to reassure the American population about his government's response to the Coronavirus outbreak. He told us Google was helping the administration develop a screening website to advise users on their symptoms. He said Google had 1700 engineers working on the site, and it would be done quickly, unlike the troubled roll-out of Heathcare.gov. He had his Coronavirus Response Coordinator show a chart detailing the process the website would use.

One day later it has been revealed that there is no website.

Yeah, my confidence is restored.

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