Showing 1 - 10 of 209 posts found matching keyword: comic books

You know you've made it when you've got your own trading card.

Thought for the day: If you criminalized bees, only criminals would have bees.

Way to go, Red Bee! (And thank you, Kickstarter.)

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Alex Trebek is on medical leave from Jeopardy! as he recovers from what he called a "slight medical problem." The rest of us call it brain surgery!

There's a man who leads a life of danger

Apparently, Trebek was standing on his toilet and hanging a clock. The porcelain was wet. He slipped and hit his head on the sink. When he came to, he had blood clots in his brain! (That's what I heard, anyway.)

Fortunately for us all, Trebek announced he's making a full recovery and will soon be back on set giving answers to questions no one has asked yet. I hope by then, they've covered his podium with bubble wrap.

I'm not ready for a world without the exploits of one George Alexander Trebek, Member of the Order of Canada.

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Ollie's Bargain Outlet is selling a bunch of slightly older DC Comics trade collections for under $5. I took the opportunity to shore up my reading stack.

Reading is FUN-damental!

I might go back again. There were a few Legion of Super-Heroes trades I didn't pick up. Yet.

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It snowed today. In December. In Georgia.

I was looking for some way to commemorate the event here on the blog when I stumbled across this in my collection:

Sadly, this cover DOES appear in this issue

"Where Walks a Snowman" in Batman #337 (July 1981) begins as "a typical evening in Gotham City; under a sky heavy with the threat of snow, the city sparkles...". But the story isn't about snow. That probably would have been a better story.

Odd events during a smash-and-grab at a sporting goods store soon convince Batman that albino Olympic skier Klaus Kristin is involved. There's no chain of evidence, but Batman's got a hunch. So he steals Kristin's mother's diary and discovers that she had sex with a yeti. (Are all albinos yetis, or is Batman just racist?)

Being the offspring of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed hottie and a "mythical creature of the Himalayan peaks" has endowed Kristin with the ability to transform himself into an abomination that can project sub-zero temperatures from his fingertips. Calling himself "Snowman" (probably because he was a big Smokey and the Bandit fan), Kristin uses these abilities to rob sporting goods stores.

If you didn't want Batman to read your diary, you shouldn't have tried to hide it

Uh, yeah, ok. I think that will hold up in court.

Anyway, Batman brings Kristin to justice by startling him off a cliff. Don't call it murder, though. As Batman points out, Kristin let him "get close." So it was all his fault. Again, I'm sure that would hold up in court, too.

The sequel no one demanded!

Fortunately for Batman's ethics, Kristin wasn't dead. He survived his fall and went into peaceful, penitent seclusion in remote parts of the Himalayas. Peaceful, at least, until Batman tracks him down in "Snow Blind" (Detective Comics #552, January 1983). Justice will be served!

Despite being pursued to the literal ends of the earth, Kristin saves Batman's life and for his trouble is shot by the Chinese Sherpa he calls "Chi." (Apparently Batman is racist.)

Batman is HARDCORE

Kristin chooses death and is carried off into the sunset by his father. Aw. Kristin finds his daddy, and Batman gets his Justice. How's that for a happy ending?

So next time it snows in December in Georgia, remember the sad tale of the Snowman. Stay inside reading comic books. That's what I do.

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I'd say that most people give up by the time they get to 4, but I'd only be kidding myself. They never get past 1.

At least I still get to worship graven idols
back cover of Is This Tomorrow: America Under Communism (1947)

Not to sound too Communist, but shouldn't "Be American first" be the first commandment?

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You said it, brother

The next big crossover event for Superman: six issues of Existential Crisis.

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On May 16, House Bill 135 was reported to the Ohio House of Representatives State and Local Government Committee. House Bill 135 seeks to amend section 5.49 of the state's Revised Code to read:

Sec. 5.49. The twelfth day of June is designated as "Superman Day" to recognize the Ohio birthplace of one of the creators of the superhero who stood for "truth, justice, and the American way." For on this day, let it be known that Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman!

Now that's good government!

Sadly, as of this date, the bill remains only a House Bill, having not yet passed the House much less the state Senate, where it hasn't even been introduced yet. Therefore, it doesn't look like Superman Day will be June 12, 2017. Fortunately, there are plenty of other dates on the calendar for the Man of Tomorrow.

Way back in 2013, DC Comics declared June 12 "Man of Steel" Day in advance of the movie of the same title, and some people have celebrated the day ever since. (Americans love their stupid, corporate-manufactured holidays.) I'm not sure why June 12 was selected. The movie opened on June 14. To be fair, Action Comics was cover-dated June, 1938, though it was actually most likely released April 18.

Since this bill specifically references Superman's creators, it's worth noting that the birthday of Cleveland-born Jerry Siegel, Superman's co-creator, is in October — 10/17/1914, to be specific. Comparatively, Siegel's partner, Joe Shuster, was born in Canada in July. And, of course, Superman's birthday has (almost) always been February 29. (At least since 1976.)

So June 12 is as good a date as anything, I guess.

In any event, I'll be perfectly willing to celebrate Superman Day whenever Ohio gets around to approving it. Just don't wait too long, guys. Superman might not age, but we're not all so lucky.

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June is Superman Month at Wriphe.com!

"And what good timing it is this year, as June will see the relaunch of the DC Comics line. Again!"

That's how I've opened Superman month for the past two years. This year, however, the Superman reboot took place March. DC is speeding up the pace.

Sure, if 'true love' means 'marketing concerns'

Less than a year after killing off the unpopular "New 52" Superman, DC brought him (and his Lois Lane) back and merged him with the old, previously reborn Superman in Action Comics #976 to make a new, third Superman. (Really, the fourth, if you want to count the original, pre-Bronze Age Superman as a separate character (which DC most definitely does)). This new new Superman has some of the memories and history of every previous Superman, which gives him a new power: super confusing.

(Note: They restored Action Comics numbering when they brought back the old Superman last year, but they didn't have the dignity to reset it to 1 again after they rebooted Superman for the third time in three years. Because marketing.)

Anyway, I don't know what happened after that. I stopped paying attention. I was still reading because DC had reverted to publishing "my" Superman again. But they took that away, and now I get to save some money for other things, like mandatory health insurance premiums. Hooray?

Getting old sucks.

But then, Superman already knows all about that.

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Back in February, I expressed my enjoyment of NBC's Powerless and said that it probably wouldn't make it past May.

It didn't.

The show was officially canceled last week by NBC, which had pulled it off the air last month with two episodes still unaired. What a shame, too. The show was just starting to find its footing as it dug deeper into DC's toy box, introducing live action versions of the Olympian, Jack O'Lantern, and Green Fury, all members of the criminally underappreciated Global Guardians.

What other wonders did the show have up its sleeve? Would future episodes have brought us founding Global Guardian member Godiva, the woman with prehensile hair? Or Owlwoman, a Native American with the powers and abilities of an owl? Or the immortal African king Doctor Mist? The world will never know.

So long, Powerless. I'll see you in the funny pages.

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From the Nail in the Coffin Department:

February 23, 1942. The day the Bee died. A story so powerful, it wasn't told until 1984!

Having followed Uncle Sam and other heroes to Earth-X, the Red Bee immediately found himself in battle versus the Japanese military . . . in sunny Santa Barbara, California. Because Japs are bastards.

Each of the heroes had something to contribute to the fight: Uncle Sam's strength, the Ray's speed, Human Bomb's explosions, Black Condor's racism, Phantom Lady's tits, Dollman's, er, dolls? And, of course, Red Bee's bees.

Obviously, we'd have won the war faster if our guns shot bees instead of bullets
All-Star Squadron #33, May 1984

The team decided to take the fight to the Japanese fleet offshore. Things went sideways pretty fast once the enemy rolled out their secret weapon: the armored super-soldier Baron Blitzkrieg. To no one's great surprise, the super-strong Nazi was more than a match for an entire swarm of bees.

Oh, sorry. Phantom Lady's got headlight.
All-Star Squadron #34, June 1984

After being tossed overboard by an errant explosion (thanks for nothing, Human Bomb), the Red Bee died at sea.

I did tell you this was his last appearance, right?

Ok, fine. He didn't drown. He was just biding his time for the perfect moment to make his triumphant return.

Meet my new sidekick, Mr. Two-by-Four!
All-Star Squadron #35, July 1984

Maybe "triumphant" is too strong a word.

That's going to leave a mark

Actually, his response was 'unnh'

Inspired by the Red Bee's noble death, Darth Vader Hourman freed his fellow captives and won the day. So in his own way, the Red Bee won World War II. Except that on this alternate Earth, World War II never ended, and the Allies and Axis are still fighting well into the 21st century. Way to make it count, Uncle Sam.

No one left behind. Except him.

And thus ends the tale of the Red Bee. If there's any lesson here, it's that training a bee to sting people doesn't make you a super hero. Being beaten to death by Nazis does.

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To be continued...

 

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