Phone rings. I answer. The caller is my father.

DAD: I have a very important question.

ME: What is it?

DAD: It's about dragons. They've been around for centuries—

ME: Mythically, yeah.

DAD: And they breath fire.

ME: Yes, in some mythologies, some dragons breathe fire.

DAD: So my question is: why don't they fly through their own fire breath?

ME: What?

DAD: If you spit while you're running, you run into your own spit. So when dragons fly and breathe fire, why aren't they burned as they move through their own flames?

ME: Why aren't mythical dragons burned by imaginary fire? Because their storytellers didn't want that to happen.

DAD: No. I'm asking if dragons were real, wouldn't they burn themselves?

ME: Uh, I don't.... I guess for the same reason that if you attached a blowtorch to the front of your car. You'd never catch up to that flame, either.

DAD: Hmm. I never thought of that. I guess I'll have to give it a try. Thanks, son.

ME: Wait!

Phone disconnects.

Now I can't talk on my phone because I'm waiting for the inevitable call from the fire department.

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I was going to blog about my broken car today, but you don't want to read about that. Instead, here's something else you don't want to read about: movies I watched!

125. (1564.) Double Dynamite! (1951)
Reportedly named for Jane Russell's chest, this screwball movie instead spends most of its runtime chasing the antics of odd-couple Groucho Marx and Frank Sinatra. Enjoyable (even if the Sinatra-as-sad-sack routine wears thin).

126. (1565.) Footlight Parade (1933)
If there's any kind of movie that they don't make them like anymore, it's Depression-era, Ziegfeld-style musical spectacles like this. Worth a watch.

127. (1566.) First Men in the Moon (1961)
More fantasy than sci-fi (there's plenty of fiction here but drastically little science). I found it very dry, boring, and almost cruelly misogynistic.

128. (1567.) Five Came Back (1939)
Survival horror isn't really my thing, so I'd chosen not to watch this on several occasions. I finally gave in because with Dad around the house, about the only thing I can be sure we won't argue over are TCM films. Happily for me, this is a long way from the modern interpretation of the genre, and I was surprised by how watchable it was. (It feels cliche at points, sure. But so does Emerson if you're already familiar with the century of similar work that followed the ground he broke.)

129. (1568.) Bachelor Mother (1939)
They say that 1939 was the best year in Hollywood history, and if even its throwaway romantic comedies like this — starring Ginger Rogers and David Niven — are any indication, they're right.

130. (1569.) Lilies of the Field (1963)
Sidney Poitier was a damn fine actor, and this movie is really, really great on many levels. Icing on the cake: Coca-Cola gets a shout-out.

131. (1570.) Pocketful of Miracles (1961)
Frank Capra's remake of his own Lady for a Day is terrible. I'm on record as no Capra fan, but it's still a shame his career ended like this. Let's pretend this doesn't exist.

More to come.

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As my father's late mother would have said, there's always time for picture shows!

104. (1543.) John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
Seeing this in a theater was my treat to Dad treat before his heart surgery, and it was a worthwhile experience... if you like bloody murder-fest actioners, which Dad certainly does. Unlike many reviewers, I thought it was better than Chapter 2. Kill 'em all, John.

105. (1544.) Lady of Burlesque (1943)
A very enjoyable B-picture murder mystery based on a book written by, of all people, the burlesque queen Gypsy Rose Lee. You go, girl! The protagonist is played by Barbara Stanwyck, who I should mention is the greatest actress who should have played Lois Lane but didn't.

107. (1546.) The Bishop Misbehaves (1935)
This film is more a comedic crime caper than the sort of whodunit it's lampooning. Disappointed by the lack of mystery, I found it a bit tedious. Your mileage may vary.

108. (1547.) Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970)
If this film is to be believed, America is almost as responsible for Pearl Harbor as the Japanese. Another case of victim blaming? From what I've read, the history is pretty solid.

The Pause That Refreshes... before thousands die in a surprise attack: Coke!

109. (1548.) Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Historical accuracy has no relationship with this film. They couldn't even keep Kong's height consistent. I suspect if plays well with the Pacific Rim crowd. I liked the style, but most 1960s comic books were better written.

110. (1549.) Get Out (2017)
I can see why this was such a big hit. More psychological thriller than horror, it is very well made and a lot of fun. It drags a bit late when the writing is on the wall and you're waiting for the reckoning that is obviously coming, but I found that reckoning to be plenty satisfying enough to make up for the wait.

More to come.

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What? I skipped a post again? Dammit.

In my defense, I've been busy these past few days. As you know, I've been supervising Dad's medications and dog-sitting Rambo and Scarlett (and trying to make July not jealous). Also, there have been issues with our commercial rental property, including an AC failure and an (unrelated) fallen tree that damaged the roof and destroyed the gutter over the back door that has a bad tendency to flood. Add to those that I have an end-of-July deadline on a coding project. And I helped one friend build some shelves and another fix her cable system. And my own ISP was down for most of Friday and Saturday. And I've been trying to find time to write more. And and and and.

But that's all just excuses.

On the up side, I did just recently discover that my phone takes great panoramic photos, a feature which I have been using exclusively to take photos of clouds.

So that's good. And that's enough.

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Dad update: he's now in his third hospital in as many weeks.

First he had heart surgery in Atlanta to replace a malfunctioning mitral valve. He came home for a couple of days before shortness of breath took him to the emergency room in Newnan. They diagnosed him with atrial fibrillation, a relatively common complication, and sent him to Fayetteville to have a pacemaker installed.

Doctors say he should be fine. I agree. He's already proven that for a guy with a bad heart, Dad can really get around.

Meanwhile, this side-effects poster was on the wall of his third room:

A closer look reveals a very familiar "face."

EVEN IN HOSPITALS.

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I don't usually run movie posts back-to-back like this, but Dad's still his own part-time job. (There are only so many hours in a day, you know.) Add to that the fact that I've lost sleep because I left my phone and wallet in a Ted's Montana Grill yesterday, and, yeah, another movie review post is all you're getting.

97. (1536.) Night and the City (1950)
I found this hard to watch because I didn't sympathize with the protagonist at all. However, it has some pretty good cinematography, especially the shot of the protagonist caught by headlights in an alley as the mob closes in on him. Good noir.

98. (1537.) Hidden Figures (2016)
I'd categorize this as Bubblegum Biopic: a history of American popular culture punched up for mass consumption. (That's not an insult. My favorite musical, 1776 would fall in the same category.) I really enjoyed this, too. In hindsight, I'm glad it was nominated for an Academy Award so that more people will be encouraged to see it.

99. (1538.) Friendly Persuasion (1956)
Quakers! Civil War! Church Organs! Girls! Geese! If this sequential series of unrelated events was supposed to have a point, it went over my head. (*Someone* must have gotten it. It was nominated for Best Picture in '57. Quakers must have been a big Academy voting block back in the McCarthy era.)

100. (1539.) Destination Wedding (2018)
Recommended by friend Otto, this romantic comedy has only two roles, played by Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder as two mismatched, unlikable people destined for one another. Or not. Otto's right, it's got some funny in it, especially if you like the actors.

101. (1540.) Till the End of Time (1946)
Have you seen The Best Years of Our Lives? Yeah, this is that, but much more boring.

102. (1541.) Dirty Mary Crazy Larry (1974)
Have you seen Vanishing Point and Sugarland Express? Yeah, this is those. It's pretty good, actually.

103. (1542.) Outlaw Blues (1977)
Peter Fonda was the embodiment of 60s-70s counterculture on celluloid, here playing a felon who goes on the run from the law while simultaneously becoming the Next Big Thing in country music. It has its moments, in no small part thanks to Susan Saint James.

More to come.

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Oops. I missed a post on Saturday. Sorry. Dad's been in the hospital recovering from open heart surgery. He insisted to his surgeon that he'd be out of the hospital three days after his operation, but he's no Man of Steel.

Anyway, he's doing fine and is well on the road to (a regularly scheduled) recovery. Thanks to all who have offered "thoughts and prayers" for his well-being. Regular posting will resume soon.

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Mom woke me up early because she couldn't turn on the television. The cause? Dead batteries in the remote control.

Dad complained that his washing machine was leaking water all over this pantry floor. The problem? The intake hose, which he had connected himself, was too loose and was spraying water everywhere.

No wonder my brother excommunicated himself from the family.

In 2003, co-worker Jeff showed me a lighter he couldn't get to work. I took it from him and tried it myself. It was a joy buzzer. Jeff laughed at me and said, "I knew you'd fall for it. All anyone has to do is tell Walter that they can't do something, and he'll do it for them."

Jeff, wherever you are now, know that you're still right. I'm still a sucker.

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I went with Dad today to look at a potential new house. New to him, I mean. The house itself was showing its age.

I told him to take it.

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Speaking of old acquaintances that should be forgotten... these movies watched in 2018:

193. (1422.) Mythica: A Quest for Heroes (2014)
194. (1423.) Mythica: The Darkspore (2015)
195. (1424.) Mythica: The Necromancer (2015)
196. (1425.) Mythica: The Iron Crown (2016)
199. (1428.) Mythica: The Godslayer (2016)

Like I said last time, I made Dad watch King Lear. He was so dissatisfied, I volunteered to let him choose the next films we watched. He chose these. I should have known better.

It would be fair to compare this whole series of five connected films to the Star Wars saga. The first couple are by far the best, and the rest become so increasingly disappointing that you begin to hope that all the main characters die just to make it all end.

To sum up, the story involves a small band of heroes seeking to stop a necromancer from using an ancient, evil artifact to take over the world and ascend to godhood. (Does that sound familiar?) I admit that it is a pretty tired adventure trope, but if the characters in my books are half as dumb as those in these movies, I apologize for ever writing the damn things.

Dad is no longer allowed to pick the movies.

More to come.

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