It's been over a year (see: Mar 22, 2021) since I last posted pics of Coca-Cola product placement in movies I'd seen before I started tracking what I was watching. I've re-wartched quite a few films since then, so here's an update.

Goes great with donuts. (Beverly Hills Cop II)

Taste the future! (Blade Runner)

It's dark, we're wearing sunglasses, and we're drinking Coca-Cola! (The Blues Brothers)

Just don't spill it! (China Syndrome)

Keep your bodily fluids pure with Coke! (Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)

Bring her in... for a Coke. (The Gauntlet)

No one hates Coke cans. (The Jerk)

A man's got to know great taste. (Magnum Force)

Coke looks great in glasses. (She's All That)

But it also looks good without them. (Superman)

Better. (Superman II)

Best. (Superman III)

The only good thing in life. (Tommy)

I don't know about you, but I'm getting thirsty.

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93/2102. The Buddy Holly Story (1978)
Must all Hollywood biopics be commercially compelled to warp facts to fit their desired narrative? We're led to believe that Holly was a diva and The (racist, sexist) Crickets' careers died with him, neither of which is true. Good music, though.

Hit the road with Coca-Cola!

94/2103. The Westerner (1940)
Gary Cooper's usual "gee, shucks" cowpoke is alternately persecuted, befriended, and persecuted again by a caricature of infamous lawman Judge Roy Bean. Given that there is never any doubt that Cooper will win in the end, I found the experience punishingly boring.

95/2104. Mystery Train (1989)
Anthology movies can be real hit or miss, but everything really works here in a setup that presages (in style and function) what Tarantino will bring to prominence a few years later with Pulp Fiction. If you like indie cinema (or Elvis mythology), this is totally worth a watch.

96/2105. The Bronze (2015)
This movie answers the unasked question, "What if Kerri Strug grew up to be a total bitch?" Forced to train her successor, not-Strug's story is a gymnastics version of Kingpin told by less competent filmmakers. There are a couple of genuinely funny moments, but they are far too few and far between.

97/2106. Hollywoodland (2006)
This movie avoids answering the much asked question, "Did Superman kill himself?" That's the question the fictional protagonist detective is investigating, but the whodunnit is only superficial. The real subject is the more metaphysical question of what gives a man's life meaning. It doesn't answer that question, either, but it does rule out some commonly held possibilities. Not bad.

Up, up, and down the hatch!

98/2107. Alice's Restaurant (1969)
What's most surprising about this anti-war comedy movie (based on an anti-war comedy song) is how cynical it is about counterculture. Society is so rotten, even those who would try to escape it are already corrupted, and all we can do is keep a sense of humor about it. Obviously, I liked this.

More to come.

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The world will always need a Superman.

Superman #7, 1941

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Earlier this week, General Mills issued a press release promoting Simone Biles appearing on Wheaties boxes. In March, they announced new Sonic the Hedgehog fruit snacks, and in January, they alerted fans that Ice-T loved Honey Nut Cheerios. Cleary, they love telling us about their marketing synergy.

Yet somehow they failed to notify the public that this was coming:

The packaging tells us "Strong Berry" cereal is really Cap'n Crunch. I suppose this tastes the same as Crunch Berries, just with all of the pieces shaped like little diamonds. In other words, you're going to need a Mouth of Steel to survive eating this.

Amusingly, in keeping with the comic book theme, there is also a variant of this cereal with Supergirl on the cover box, all the better to sell the same cereal to little boys and little girls. Sorta makes you wonder why there isn't a female Cap'N Crunch, doesn't it.

We're currently living in a dystopia of infinite inflation, but you can get this at Target for a measly $3.49. Superman is all about helping the little people!

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After years of pandemic-driven disruption, the 44th annual Metropolis, Illinois Superman Celebration returned to its traditional calendar slot this weekend. The highlight of this year's event was last night, when Smallville Superman (Tom Welling) and Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum) reunited to re-enact scenes from their television show on stage.

As it happens, the 2022 Celebration is marking the 50th anniversary of Metropolis being the "Home of Superman," a title they gave themselves. While 1972 was inarguably a significant milestone for Metropolis in several aspects, not the least of which is the agreement with National Periodicals to license Superman's name and likeness, many websites, including Wikipedia, mark the start of Metropolis' official relationship to Superman with the June 9, 1972, passage of State of Illinois General Assembly House Resolution 572, which reads:

Whereas, Metropolis is, as everyone knows, the base of operations of SUPERMAN, the Man of Steel, battler for Truth, Justice, and the American Way; leaper of tall buildings in single bounds; overpowerer of powerful locomotives; outspeeder of speeding bullets; changer of the course of might rivers; and performer of other important functions of not inconsiderable civic utility; and

Whereas, the civic leaders of Metropolis, Illinois, have finally decided that their illustrious citizen is, in fact, neither a bird nor a plane but a resource of not inconsiderable civic utility; and

Whereas, the familiar red and blue caped Superman uniform has been seen of late draped on other prominent citizens of Metropolis on important civic occasions (giving one pause to reflect that Clark Kent must have been considerably embarrassed when he last dashed into a telephone booth to strip for action and found that his Superman uniform had mysteriously disappeared);

now therefore be it Resolved By The House of Representatives in the seventy-seventh Session of the General Assembly, that we do hereby commend and congratulate Mr. Robert Westerfield, Mayor J.P. Williams, and Mr. C. Harold Mescher of Metropolis, Illinois, for conceiving and organizing "Project Superman' by which outstanding citizens are honored as recipients of the Superman Award for their contributions to the civic welfare of Metropolis; and we extend the thanks of the civic leaders to Mr. Carmine Infantino of National Periodical Publications, Inc., for his kind permission to use the Superman format and for supplying the original uniform of the television Superman to use in the promotion of Project Superman; and finally we congratulate the Reverend Charles Chandler on his selection as the first recipient of the Superman Award and find it wholly appropriate that a man of his calling be so chosen;

and be it further Resolved, that a suitable copy of this preamble and resolution be forwarded to Mr. Robert Westerfield for acceptance by him on behalf of the Project Superman Screening Committee.

Personally, I'm not particularly confident about that June 9 date or whether the Illinois Senate ever had anything to do with this particular resolution. The actual online records of the 77th Illinois Senate meeting that day do not remark on that specific piece of legislation. Admittedly, that does not necessarily mean the date is incorrect, as the online records themselves warn of their incompleteness. The text above is taken directly from the Illinois House record for April 25, 1972, the date the resolution was introduced and passed the House.

And while we're on that topic, I should mention that House Resolution 572 was just one of many non-binding resolutions passed that day. Resolution 569 congratulated a congressman for staying married to the same woman for 19 years. Resolution 571 gave Chicago Cubs pitcher Burt Hooton a pat on the back for throwing a no-hitter, and Resolution 573 pledged undying loyalty to the Chicago Black Hawks "no matter what."

But the real kicker is House Resolution 575, congratulating Illinois native Gene Hackman for receiving the Oscar for Best Actor (in The French Connection). Though Superman: The Movie would be six years in their future, the Illinois House of Representatives still managed to praise both Superman and Lex Luthor in the very same meeting!

That's congress for you.

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"He's a Rescue" by Jon "Not the President" Adams is available on a face mask at condenaststore.com!

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I like to think I know a lot about comics, and this sure seems like something I should have been aware of before now.

"Superman Jr." (drawn by Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and inked by Dick Giordano) is from the 1982 DC Comics Style Guide, where it is accompanied by the following description:

SUPER JRS. give licencees the opportunity to use pint-sized versions of DC's most popular heroes, including Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, Robin, and Flash! All have been transformed into the most loveable and huggable mini-heroes you've ever seen!

I mean, yeah, like everyone else, I knew there were Lil' (Justice) Leaguers who have occupied their own corner of the DC Multiverse — Earth-42, 'natch — since 2008. For some reason I assumed that the Lil' Leaguers had been inspired mainly by the popularity of the late-1980s X-Babies comics, an adorably alternate-reality version of the best-selling X-Men from DC's chief competition, Marvel Comics. As it turns out, those 2008 characters were more likely descended from the only Super Jrs. comic appearance: The Best of DC Special #58 digest-sized comic in December 1984.

The really weird part is that 1984 story had actually been created seven years earlier for a format nearly twice the size! According to October 2014 issue of Back Issue magazine — which also includes a list of all known Super Jrs. licensed products — the Super Jrs. were originally developed (by Tom DeFalco, Vince Squeglia, and Kerry Grandenetti) to be used in a DC treasury-sized comic book in 1977 as the first in a whole series of Super Jrs. comics. But the treasury edition line was canceled, and DC instead decided to shop the Super Jrs. characters around for a cartoon series that never materialized, finally printing the comic in '84 to give the digest series a "new" Christmas story.

(I find the Super Jrs. an interesting contrast to DC's Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew, also a kid-friendly take on DC's Justice League of America characters — the Zoo Crew began as "Just'a Lotta Animals" — created in the early 1980s as a cartoon pitch only to become a comic series in 1982 yet doesn't appear in that Style Guide. Did the Zoo Crew perhaps have a different licensing agreement?)

Anyway, that 1982 Style Guide entry up there is for a character created in 1977, licensable for a television cartoon that never happened, and who wouldn't see print until 1984. In hindsight, I've certainly seen the cover of that Style Guide before, and I must have confused the Super Jrs. with the likes of Superbaby (first appearing in 1948) or any of the many Superboys or even the several Sons of Superman (some more imaginary than others). But no, it turns out Super Jrs. are their own thing.

Aren't comic books great?

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Welcome to June, the 16th annual Wriphe.com Superman Month, this year with 100% less Superman!

As it happens, DC Comics killed off Superman (again!) in last month's Justice League #75. It's an especially bad bit of timing; most days it feels like 2022 has just been one disaster after another.

Wonder Twins #12 (2020)

Maybe not, but a little x-ray vision would go a long way.

I figure things will have to be better by this time next year. That's about how long anyone stays dead in comic books, and the world sure could use a Superman.

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Way back in 2012, I arbitrarily decided that 150 was a good goal for new-to-me movies in a year. (That's about 3 a week, an easily achievable number, I figured.) For each year of the past decade save one (2016), I have soared way over that bar. In 2021, for the first time, I hit it exactly.

147. (2006.) Ron's Gone Wrong (2021)
This movie is really a series of gags that dance around the edges of several important ethical questions without ever directly addressing them (or even admitting that they exist). If the bots are sentient (like Johnny 5 in Short Circuit), aren't they being treated like slaves? And if they aren't (like C-3PO in Star Wars), why the big fuss to save one's "life"? The message seems to be "invasive social media run by huge corporations can be bad except when it isn't." I know it's a children's movie (financed by a huge corporation), but if I'm supposed to be ignoring what's on the screen, why am I watching at all?

148. (2007.) Peppermint (2018)
Jennifer Garner plays at being John Wick in a murderous revenge fantasy film that is only as good as Jennifer Garner can make it. Very violent second-class fluff.

149. (2008.) Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
While the previous two movies have problems, they also have some redeeming qualities. This one, on the other hand, is just bad. From the outset, it's schizophrenic, as though the studio wanted to remake 1978's Superman with dumber villains with the added specter of extinction event global thermonuclear war. The film's worst sin is abandoning the charming, optimistic Wonder Woman of the first movie for a more world-weary version (in ugly period makeup) who dourly broods and lusts for a lost love. (Why is this even set in the 1980s? Every single plot point would have worked better if it was set in the 50s.) The result is a haphazard mishmash of a movie with subject matter not suitable for little children and boring for adults: perfect drivel for tweenagers, I guess.

150. (2009.) Little Women (1994)
Now this is how you make a movie about wonder(ful) women. When I watched the 2019 adaptation of this movie, I wrote that I liked it very much and couldn't "imagine the 1994 [Winona Ryder] version could possibly be better." It isn't, though that does not mean that this movie isn't also good in its own way. This version has fantastic scenery and a great cast, especially Kirsten Dunst, who may be the best of all the Beths I've seen. I just happen to like the 2019 version a little better.

And that's all the movies I saw in 2021. While we're on the subject, let me add that the actor who appeared most often in those 150 movies was Doris Day (5 times). Second place was a 5-way tie between Jack Carson, James Gleason, Loretta Young, Robert Mitchum, and William Hurt (4 each). Who will it be next year? Only time will tell.

More to come.

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