The Preakness Stakes is tomorrow, and Kentucky Derby champion Mine That Bird is currently the betting favorite to win at 11-2 odds, considerably better than the 50-1 odds that he beat to win the Derby. Don't get me wrong, I'm not endorsing gambling on the ponies. I don't even generally care for horse racing outside of the Triple Crown events. It's a sport for rich people, and I'm more of a... poor person. The closest I've ever come to owning a horse is possessing a copy of Who's Who in the DC Universe featuring the Legion of Super-Pets, which naturally includes Comet the Super-Horse.

(I really love the depictions for breaking the time barrier in Silver Age Superman comics. Time, ladies and gentlemen, is a rainbow.)

However, I don't think Comet should be allowed to race in any horse-race, but not because of his super-speed. No, see, Comet is really a Grecian centaur accidentally transformed into a horse, granted superpowers as a consolation for the mistake, banished to a comet for millennia by his enemies, and freed from said imprisonment by the happenstance passage of a rocket ship that contained a young Supergirl fleeing the destruction of Krypton. It all makes sense if you think about it. Comet isn't a horse, but a man trapped in a horse's body. You wouldn't let a man enter a horse race, would you?

Of course this begs the question that if Comet had a highly developed brain, was sentient, and capable of telepathic communication, why in the world would he join a group called the Legion of Super-Pets in the first place? Just because he let Supergirl ride on his back, he qualified as a pet? (Superman's Pet, Lois Lane probably isn't going to appear on newsracks anytime soon.) What male wouldn't let Supergirl ride on his back?

Fast fact: in "The Secret Identity of Super-Horse," Action Comics #301, Comet was granted the form of a bipedal human -- his fondest wish -- and began a romance with Supergirl. Turnabout is fair play, it would seem. Maybe I've just got a salacious mind, but that sounds like a comic I've got to get my hands on. I suppose a "Super-Pet" must be a little different than a traditional pet. Maybe it's the equivalent of a pet with benefits.

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"Some other time"? You do know what day it is today, don't you, Superman? A whole lot of pilgrims died to give Lois the right to say "thank you" today. But maybe I judge too hastily. Maybe you've got some other pressing business to get to, hmm?

Not so coincidentally, both images above are from the same year: 1940. Superman debuted in Action Comics in spring 1938, and by Thanksgiving 1939, he was floating above New York in the annual Macy's parade. Up, up, and away, indeed. (If your'e in the mood, find more historical Superman balloon pictures here and here.)

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While I'm about the last person that you would expect to hear spouting theology or philosophy (I'm too damned secularly cynical to spend much time with intangibles such as hypothetical situations or metaphysical postulations), but sometimes things happen which make even me wonder "why?" In this particular case, that thing was the discovery of this cover:

But it's not quite the "why" you think it is. I understand the obvious "why." This is Action Comics #456, cover dated February 1976, so it was released around December 1975. It just so happens that the biggest grossing movie of 1975 was, as you can probably guess, Jaws. No big surprise there. Superman never misses a chance to get in on the action. He's dealt with all of the great political and social events of the 20th century, from nuclear proliferation to illegal aliens (from space, 'natch) to women's liberation to the Olympics (of space, 'natch). Why just a few short years after this issue, Superman will enter the ring with World Heavyweight Boxing Champion Muhammad Ali (in space, 'natch).

Now the odd part of this all, and what makes me wonder "why," is that I decided that I liked that Action cover so much, I was going to use it in today's blog post. And then a brief research turned up the fact that Jaws was originally released on June 20, 1975, exactly 33 years ago today. Great Caesar's Ghost!

Now, was this a happy cosmic coincidence? Did I know, perhaps subconsciously, that Jaws was released on June 20 before I started prepping this blog entry? In any event, I'm sure I'll never know because I'm not going to investigate. No one has ever said, "I'll solve the fundamental workings of the entire universe, and then I'll understand aliens, ghosts, and Celene Dion," without rounding the bend. It's the investigation of situations like these that lead to mad scientists and super villains, I tell you.

Oh, and don't worry about Superman. He's been effortlessly beating up sharks since 1939. His boat is already plenty big enough, so to speak.

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Great Krypton! I just read online that today marks the 70th anniversary of the publication of Action Comics #1, Superman's first appearance. Even though a quick perusal of the internet finds many sites that agree or list the date simply as "June," I find this unlikely.

Action Comics #1 is indeed cover dated "June 1938." (See for yourself here.) Since comic books, like other periodicals, have always -- at least for over a century -- been cover dated two to three months in advance in order for newsstand vendors to tell when to switch their inventory, it seems to me much more likely that Action Comics #1 was published in April.

In fact, Superman Homepage, a pretty darn authoritative source for all things Super, reports that 200,000 published copies of Action Comics #1 were released to vendors on April 18, 1938. (By comparison, these days only the five or so top-selling comic books each month sell as many as 100,000 copies of each issue.)

So is the reporting of the date "June 14" as the release date of Action Comics #1 just lazy reporting, especially considering that other sites dedicated to Superman say otherwise? Or is there a legitimate question over this seminal American event? Mistake or mischief? Ah, the internet: proving once again that with great power must come great responsibility.

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Happy Birthday, Superman!

That's right: Superman's official birthday is February 29. At least so far as DC Comics has long been concerned. (Other dates have popped up over the years in Superman's multiple media appearances.) This way, he only ages one year for every four that pass. Since he appeared fully grown in Action Comics #1 in April 1938 -- not a leap year -- his first birthday would have been in 1940. There have been 17 leap years since 1940, making this Superman's 18th birthday! He can finally vote! (No doubt, he's an Obamamaniac.)

I suppose a surprise party is out of the question since it's impossible for most people to use the giant key to enter the Fortress of Solitude, much less reach the North Pole. Probably no point in a cake, either, since even novelty re-lighting candles are no match for Super-Breath. And if you're planning a gift, you'd better use lead gift wrap. The best thing that you can probably do for Superman is simply not get into any trouble for 24 hours. Even the Man of Tomorrow needs leisure time.

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You may have noticed that in that last post (Feb. 20), Superman was hiding behind a rock on the Action Comics and Superman covers. You may have asked yourself why the Man of Steel was spying on Bizarro's love life. Turns out that's just the way Superman rolls.

And it's probably justified. It seems that Superman's supporting cast can't go anywhere without getting into some improbable fix that only an invulnerable interplanetary alien with the powers of flight, speed, and strength (among others) can extricate them from. Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen got into so much trouble, Superman had to give him a beeper.

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Some friends Superman has there. What happens when Superman isn't paying enough attention? That's right: Bizarro attacks.

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Lois wears bridal fashions like I wear Batman t-shirts. She appears in a bridal gown on 9 different covers (twice on issue 37 and four times on issue 86!) of her 137 issue run in Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane. Make that 10 covers, if you count her red cloak worn during her marriage to Satan -- yes, Satan -- on the cover of issue 103.

Meanwhile, Jimmy appears dressed as Superman on only 6 covers of the 163 issue run of Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen. Seven covers, if you count Jimmy's remote control usage of a Superman robot on the cover of issue 9. In a rare guest appearance, Lois Lane manages to wear her fraying wedding gown when she weds Jimmy on the cover of Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen issue 21, but Jimmy misses the golden opportunity and lamely wears a tux.

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There was a time, not so long ago, that I wanted to go to Comic-Con in San Diego. Once upon a time, it was a great place to revel in comic book fandom with the artists and publishers themselves. That time has past. Goodbye, Superman in Action Comics, hello Robert Downey, Jr. in Iron Man, the Movie. Now the event is just another hype factory for Hollywood. If months and months of incessant, repetitive commercials for toys and bedspreads at Wal-Mart, fast-food tie-in "premiums," and soft news stories covering the actors' personal lives isn't enough to sate America's desire for overblown marketing, well, now there's Comic-Con, where the price of admission is just $65 and your soul.

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Wait just a darn minute. How come Harry Potter gets 20-acres of theme park before Superman? Just because Potter has sold more than 325 million books in his short, six-book publishing career, making J.K. Rowling reportedly the first author-turned-billionaire, he gets the run of a Florida theme park? Why, if Superman and Action Comics are conservatively estimated to have sold a mere 40,000 copies per issue (which is not bad for a modern comic, but laughable compared to the titanic numbers of even 10 years ago), Superman has moved almost 25% of Harry's haul with two comic book titles alone. Where's his theme park?

You can forget about those Superman rides in Six Flags parks across America. Six Flags is the worst theme park chain by far, and their run-down, cramped attractions that like Kryptonite sap the life from the Man of Steel can hardly be called Super-parks.

Roller Coaster Database tells me that there are 12 active Superman themed coasters worldwide. Think about how awesome it would be to ride a dozen Superman themed rides through a single park divided into areas representing Krypton, Smallville, Metropolis, and the Fortress of Solitude. Coasters simulating flight, cyclotrons demonstrating Superman's ability to drill through solid rock, shooting ranges with heat vision, and, of course, a few carnival games testing your strength, speed, reflexes, and mental dexterity, among other comparisons to Superman's many, many powers. I can hear the barkers now: "How many people can you hear yelling for help?" "See a man blow on this cup of water until it turns to ice!" "I challenge you to hold your breath during a brief trip around the moon!" "Guess the number of people trapped inside the burning building!" Why, even the metal detectors checking guests for weapons as they come in the door could be turned into a comical demonstration of Superman's X-Ray Vision!

I understand that Metropolis, Illinois, has pursued a Superman themed attraction for years, but I'm sure it would end up more like South of the Border than Cedar Point. (No offense to South of the Border, but it's not really all that Super, unless third-world truck stops are your thing.)

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to keep wearing my Superman underoos while leaping off my roof. At least the admission price is right.

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In honor of Action Comics #1's June 1938 cover date, I'm declaring June "Superman Month"! (No, I don't need a better reason than that. It's my blog, dammit.)

Don't miss the annual Superman Celebration in Metropolis, Illinois June 7-10. Even though Erica Durance cancelled, Noel Neil is still scheduled to be there. Maybe you can have too many Loises in the same place at the same time.

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Here's something a little scary for you on this Friday the 13th: more evidence that Dr. Frederick Wertham, author of the industry influencing Seduction of the Innocent, was right arguing against the subtle, damaging influence of comic books on America's youth. These panels are all in sequential order as presented in Superman's Action Comics #20, published in 1940.

Sure, I eliminated some filler panels there, but only to make the subtext clearer for scientific examination. Gay equals good times. Not gay equals bullet in the face. Clearly the message here is that if you are a heterosexual, you shouldn't go to any gay Hollywood parties. They'll kill you. I suppose that this really makes you look at those post-Oscar parties in a whole new light, doesn't it? Note that Superman is not at the party. Why? Because Superman is not gay.

With messages like these buried in super hero comics, it's no wonder that Rock Hudson and Tom Cruise turned out gay. (Personally, I think Rock Hudson would have made a great Superman, by the way. Were he not, you know, dead.)

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