15/2447. Balls Out (2014)
If you see the title to this movie about flag football and are inspired to remember Dodgeball, yeah, that's exactly what they wanted. Too bad they can't deliver. The script is meta-texturally aware of all the cliches in this type of movie, but then it completely fails to elevate any of that material. Frankly, I found the only amusing bits to come from Saturday Night Live (and AT&T commercial) alum Beck Bennett, who successfully plays his part as the cheating bully (a la Ben Stiller in Dodgeball) way over the top (a la Ben Stiller in Dodgeball).

16/2448. Good Burger (1997)
Speaking of Saturday Night Live alumni, of course this based on the recurring skit from Nickelodeon's sketch-show for teens, and while young Keenan Thompson is imminently watchable, all of the real comedy comes from Keenan's partner Kel, who is very good at playing the good-hearted moron.

If there is a movie with more Coca-Cola product placement in it, I haven't seen it.

17/2449. Young and Innocent (1937)
More of a thriller than a whodunnit, director Alfred Hitchcock makes sure that the audience knows the good natured protagonist is (probably) innocent of murder from the beginning, which is key to building his romantic relationship with the police chief's daughter. It's the prototype of a Hallmark Mystery Movie!

18/2450. Conclave (2024)
I was pulling for this to win Best Picture at the Oscars this year. I mean, I hadn't seen any of the other contenders, but this has a really, really amazing cast and is suspenseful and as illuminating about the human condition as any other great work of art. Very well done.

19/2451. The Champ (1931)
Speaking of Oscar, this won for Best Original Story, and I can only guess that's because 1931 was an off year for everyone. In a nutshell, a kid (Jackie Cooper) watches his ne'er-do-well alcoholic father (Wallace Beery) let him down in every possible way. Original! Beery also won the award for Actor, but so far as I can tell, he was only playing himself. I found it all very unpleasant. You can do better, kid.

More to come.

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I feel like that joke was aimed squarely at Jason Sudeikis (born September 18, 1975, SNL cast member from 2003-2013, host in 2021, and performer on the Saturday Night Live 50th Anniversary Special) and me (who did none of those things but is enjoying the company).

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Let's finally tie-off 2022 movies.

150/2159. A Nous la Liberte (1931)
Another French film comedy. This one I liked immensely, in large part because the friendship demonstrated between the two leads who worked together to escape from prison. Funny and heartening is a good combination.

151/2160. The Automat (2021)
I've been fascinated by Automat restaurants since I first learned of their existence in the 90s, by which time they were all but completely gone from the world. Automated cafeteria food delivery still sounds like heaven to me (especially since this documentary fills in the hows and whys behind my imagination), yet somehow McDonald's touchscreen cashiers don't quite replicate the dream.

152/2161. Thoroughbreds (2017)
This is the equivalent of Heathers for modern teenaged audiences, and I liked it about as much. Which, for the record, means I'll probably never watch it again. I'm uncomfortable enough with people as it is that I don't want to spend any more time than I have to with fictional sociopaths.

154/2163. Barely Legal (2003)
You'll often hear film critics deride voiceover narration, and this film is a perfect example of the worst faults of the device: flowery bullshit compensating for a weak script and missing scenes. The only bits actually worth watching feature Saturday Night Live alumni Horatio Sanz, Rachel Dratch, and Chris Parnell, presumably all improvising their funny lines.

155/2164. Idiot's Delight (1939)
Reportedly contains Clark Gable's only song-and-dance performance — "Putting on the Ritz," just like Frankenstein! — and's he fine. The real problem is that the entirely unnecessary (and too long) prologue in the first act steals most of the romantic tension from the rest of the film. A good example that less is often more in stoytelling.

156/2165. The Thief Who Came to Dinner (1973)
The script gives poor Jacqueline Bisset nothing to do other than be arm candy for too-pretty cat burglar Ryan O'Neal, who is also criminally underwritten. (He steals because... his job is boring? His wife left him? Because the plot demands it?) Frankly, the highlight of the film is the setting: early 1970s Houston. It has more character than the people.

More to come.

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135/2144. Nothing Compares (2022)
This autobiographical documentary makes it pretty clear that society really mistreated Sinead O'Connor, didn't we? I admit that I got sick and tired of The Song when it was everywhere in 1990, but I remember watching Sinead tear up that photo on Saturday Night Live and not thinking much of it at the time. Catholics and idolatry, amiright?

136/2145. Reform School (1939)
This long lost mostly-Black film about crime and punishment aired for the first time on TCM, and I have to say, it's actually pretty darn entertaining. Troubled inner-city kids struggling to survive a corrupt for-profit justice system is apparently very old news.

137/2146. Get to Know Your Rabbit (1972)
I know I say this about every Brian De Palma-directed film, but while the idea at the center of this story could have made a great film in different hands, almost every scene and camera shot in this thing could have been done better. Reports are that star Tommy Smothers reportedly walked off the set of this "comedy" — which might have had something to do with how badly miscast he was for the protagonist role to begin with — and studio brass couldn't stop interfering with the product. Still, Orson Welles murders his too-small part and makes me wish someone with stronger comedy chops had been at the helm.

138/2147. Black Hand (1950)
Another weird casting choice as Gene Kelly plays an Italian immigrant willing to sacrifice himself (but not children) to take down the mafia. Kelly's actually surprisingly effective in the role despite not dancing a single step.

139/2148. Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (1965)
Come for the fembots, stay for the Vincent Price, who is far funnier and more charismatic as the villainous, scene-chewing Dr. Goldfoot than Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman are as the hammy protagonists.

More to come.

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Yes, I still watch Saturday Night Live every week.

But I'd really rather be watching La La Land again.

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Saturday Night Live has long had a habit of dumping the weirdest skits of the night at the end of the show. However, those can also be the best.

I watched the following skit when it aired at just before 1 AM on September 26, 1998. It remains my all time favorite SNL skit. It cheers me up whenever I think of it.

If you can't laugh at unity, caring, kindness, and friendship, what can you laugh at?

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Watching Saturday Night Live reruns on Comedy Central at 4AM, I was bombarded by commercials for sex toy retailer Adam & Eve. I guess sexually adventurous insomniacs have to be watching something at 4AM, but I would have thought that there would be better shows to advertise during than SNL. I can only speak for myself, but laughing at sketch comedy shows does not make me horny.

After I thought about it — and yes, these are the sorts of things I think about — I realized that Adam & Eve must be hoping to catch an audience in a good mood. It's clear that their advertisements are designed to introduce their brand to new audiences, so perhaps Comedy Central is a good partner. If you're not enjoying yourself when you think about sex, you're doing it wrong.

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Movies, movies, and more movies! I'm up to 12 so far this month, so here are the first batch of 7.

79. (616.) All About Steve (2009)
This movie has a terrible reputation, and it's well deserved. Someone should have explained to the director and star Sandra Bullock that the audience needs to associate with the central character, not find her to be the kind of office mate you fear being trapped in an elevator with. Making all the other characters real assholes is not a substitute for a failure to create an interesting protagonist.

80. (617.) Laura (1944)
Fantastic film noir with a warped mid-movie twist. Recommended.

81. (618.) Doomsday (2008)
Less recommended is this reworking of Escape from New York. A highly contagious, completely fatal plague is threatening the world, so one badass government operative has to... oh, you know the rest. There's no logic or moral here here, just bad science fiction.

82. (619.) The Year of Living Dangerously (1982)
This journalist-coming-of-age-in-a-warzone trope really isn't the kind of movie I typically enjoy. I didn't really enjoy this one, either. It was well made (Linda Hunt was fantastic), but just not my thing.

83. (620.) Baby Mama (2008)
Tina Fey wrote some very clever comedy for SNL and 30 Rock, but the movies she's in tend to be very bland. (To be fair, she didn't write this.) Mildly funny, but not very memorable.
[UPDATE 2018-10-04: This just came up as a possibility in my TV guide, and I thought to myself, "Huh. I haven't seen that." So maybe "not very memorable" was an understatement.]

84. (621.) Lockout (2012)
Now this is how Escape from New York should be remade. Guy Pierce is perfect channeling Bruce Willis of the 80s. Loved it, loved it, loved it.

For the record, at this point, I started to watch the movie version of the Broadway musical Rent next, and I hated it. I didn't care for the music or characters, and didn't make it more than 30 minutes in before bailing. By my own rules, I can't say I've watched it, but no second attempt will be made. Ever.

85. (622.) Wanderlust (2012)
I know Apatow has to make the point-of-view of the "normals" in the film be the "truth" &mash; after all, hippies don't really drive box office sales — but Alan Alda's "maybe I missed out on something important" confession feels a little like a sell-out even to me. (Alda otherwise steals ever scene he's in with some great punchlines.)

More movies to come.

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Movies to start May:

108. Water for Elephants (2011)
This movie pulled a psyche-out on me. It starts out like a gender-switched Titanic with a circus replacing the boat. However, when you reach the point where Jack is supposed to drown, an elephant intervenes. The circus still sinks and lots of rubes die, but everything ends "happily ever after." My head is still spinning.

109. In the Heat of the Night (1967)
Sidney Poitier can do no wrong. Was he ever in a movie that wasn't about racism?

"They call *me* Mr. Pibb!"

110. It Happened in Hollywood (1937)
Believe it or not, I'd never seen a Richard Dix movie before. I know! This movie is another A Star is Born variant, focusing on the falling star of cowboy Dix without ever becoming morose. Good-natured fun at the expense of Hollywood cliches.

111. Ordinary People (1980)
Huh. I remember reading Mad magazine's parody of this film back in the day, but there's no humor on this screen. I've seen the themes herein better explored in the years since, but I can't fault the performances of this stellar cast.

112. The Change-Up (2011)
Jason Bateman strikes again! Stop me if you've heard this one: two men with opposite personalities and lives switch bodies and learn to be better people. Yeah, that's this.

113. Song of the Thin Man (1947)
I will see the rest of these Thin Man movies. So enjoyable, I'm angry that I haven't seen them all already.

114. Cars 2 (2011)
The homage to classic spy movies (and Bill Murry's The Man Who Knew Too Little) felt spot on. Everything else seemed a bit ham-fisted. Are you just in it for the cash now, Pixar?

115. It's Pat (1994)
As you might expect, this Saturday Night Live skit-turned-movie is the same joke over and over and over. And over. Eventually I found that the joke had beaten me into submission, and I laughed and laughed. Head trauma does that, but Dave Foley in drag helped a lot.

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