A series of murders have been committed in one of the seedier quadrants of the space station. We have been assigned to investigate.

This is my space station. My partner is Obo. My name Kesko. I carry a badge.

We were directed by witnesses to the scene of the crimes in a portion of the station which has recently seen a dramatic increase in reports of theft. A thievery ring was suspected.

We had barely entered the area when we were accosted by pair of aggressively threatening space goblins. I attempted to diffuse the situation, but they refused my telepathic communication. After goblins ignored a secondary verbal warning, my partner subdued them with force. I confiscated their weapons to prevent them from being reused.

My partner and I proceeded to investigate the corridor the space goblins had come from. The first door in the corridor was closed. We declared ourselves and our official business but received no response. My partner heard some noise behind the door, and we entered by force.

Room was a storage room occupied by a single unregistered human vagrant. Although initially rude, the vagrant (identifying himself as "Bruxo" but presenting no identification) eventually recognized our authority after a little telepathic persuasion. Vagrant claimed ignorance of any murders but agreed that goblin activity was a growing problem.

In response to further questioning, he tipped us to a creature deeper in the station which he said may be working with the goblins. Warning that the creature is "immune to fire," he offered us a weapon to aid us in subduing it. Weapon was taken from a sealed crate in the storage room. Vagrant was unable to prove ownership. I was suspicious; If he had a weapon that could defeat said creature, why give it to us instead of using it himself? When pressed, vagrant said he was "just trying to help." I declined weapon per department regulations re: accepting potentially stolen goods.

(Note: My partner did take possession of vagrant-offered grappler, a tool she judged potentially useful should we need to descend into the guts of the station. Tool to be returned to the vagrant at such time as we return for a follow up investigation re: potential weapons theft.)

We continued our search of the corridor. Corridor ended in some sort of engine room. On close inspection, I determined that the engine reactor was functioning smoothly, though I lacked the technical understanding to know what it did or exactly how. Partner and I judged it safe to proceed through the room to continue pursuit of space goblin origins.

As we passed the reactor core, we were ambushed by a previously undetected entity that had been lurking within. The unknown and unidentifiable entity appeared as a humanoid comprised of pure energy. Like the goblins, it also resisted telepathic communication. Energy creature moved to touch me. It's hand passed through my chest. I felt a chill, but was otherwise unharmed. I tried to back away. It pursued, touching me a second time again causing discomfort but not harm.

My partner moved to separate creature from me with her department-issued doshko. The doshko passed through the creature in the same manner its hand had passed through me.

I used a telepathic strike to repel the creature to no apparent effect. Creature responded by redirecting energy from the reactor into a controlled explosion aimed at me. I was incapacitated.

My partner issued a verbal warning and fired a warning shot at the creature with her department-issued rifle. Energy creature phased its hand through partner's weapon. It overheated and shorted out. Partner was incapacitated.

Energy creature was unharmed.

Add two more murders to the series.

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What else is there to say about a game that UGA won, 66-27?

For one thing, it looked like the team was enjoying themselves. It sure felt like *everybody* got a touchdown.

And UMass scored on a 1 second drive to end the third quarter. That was impressive.

And in honor of Veterans Day, the band played songs for all branches of the armed forces at halftime (pictured above).

And Nick Chubb and Sony Michel were in the house. Each received a standing ovation when introduced.

And, boy, did I enjoy my Coca-Cola and pretzel. Delicious!

Also of note: This was Friend Mike's second UGA game. He has now attended more UGA games than Alabama games. That's a good thing.

Now bring on Georgia Tech.

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Walter reviews more movies he watched in April!

71. (1300.) The Journey of Natty Gann (1985)
Disney advertised the shit out of this back when I watched the Disney Channel in the 1980s, and I just finally saw it. (The House of Mouse gets us all in the end.) It's a good-looking adventure yarn for kids in the White Fang vein, and I enjoyed it.

72. (1301.) Isle of Dogs (2018)
Best movie of 2018! No, that wasn't sarcasm. I'm all-in on Wes Andersom movies.

73. (1302.) Warrior (2011)
Warrior is not a winner. Friend Keith loves it, and I guess I can see why. But the schmaltzy ending doesn't work if you don't care for all the characters involved, and I didn't. Go to hell, Tommy.

74. (1303.) Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Best movie of 2017! Friend Mike let me borrow this, and I'm so glad he did. I watched it, like, 4 times. It's really, really funny with a James Carpenter vibe and 80s synthesizer soundtrack. Marvel can't possibly make a movie better than this.

75. (1304.) Battle of the Sexes (2017)
I was expecting less biopic and more sports action, but I'm never disappointed in Emma Stone. Even when she's a lesbian.

76. (1305.) Coco (2017)
Honestly, I don't get what everyone loves about this movie. Beyond the creative set design, it's a predictable snooze-fest populated with stock characters. I would say it is easily Pixar's worst film. (And yes, I've seen Cars 2.)

77. (1306.) The Greatest Showman (2017)
Hey, Randy! I've seen The Greatest Showman. It delivers what it promises: a throwback to 1930s MGM musical spectacular! I agree that it is too light on reality and too heavy on CGI. But who can't enjoy a film with a character named Walter the Dog-Boy? Not me.

More to come.

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What I did on St. Patrick's Day:

Jacksonville Icemen 5, Georgia Gladiators 4.

Minor league ice hockey might not sound an Irish way to pass the time, but they fight like true drunken expatriates. Saint Patrick would be proud.

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I want to finish listing the movies I watched in 2017 before we get to 2018, so I need to double time these reviews. Here is November part 2 of 3.

149. (1208.) Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze (1975)
This movie's intro and finale borrow the worst bits of 1966's Batman approach to sound effects, but most of it is more in the vein of Adventures of Superman. That's when it's at its best.

150. (1209.) Ladyhawke (1985)
I thought I would enjoy this, but not so much. The costumes and sets were fantastic. The music, however, felt incredibly out of place, constantly reminding me that I was watching a modern take on a fairy tale. Matthew Broderick's constant one-liner anachronisms didn't help. Still, it is a much better movie than Krull.

151. (1210.) Speed Racer (2008)
This film, on the other hand, was great fun (if a bit hard on the eyes). It was surprisingly respectful (perhaps too respectful) of its dumb-as-bricks source material, which I do like. Racer X is the man.

152. (1211.) The Big Sick (2017)
I know this relationship comedy was based (loosely) on a true story experienced by lead actor Kumail Nunjiani, so maybe that's why it still felt so honest. The extended cast all conveyed the feel of real (dysfunctional) families. Good work.

More to come, sooner than later.

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Back in September, I had planned to take friend Michael to his first UGA game. That plan was disrupted by Brian's wedding. Today was the make-up date.

Mike had never even been in Athens until arriving for today's game. He's not much of a football person, but he tells me that he had a good time watching the #1 Bulldogs running over the Gamecocks, 24-10. I'm inclined to believe him. I had a good time myself.

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Football season has me stressed out. The Bulldogs are having a great year, but I live in dread of the inevitable loss. The Dolphins are having a . . . I'm still not sure what they're having, but it hasn't been easy to watch.

To calm those nerves, let's watch some movies! October, part 1 of 3:

130. (1189.) Xanadu (1980)
YES! This DVD was loaned to me by my new BFF Micheal. The movie is everything I hoped it would be, by which I mean terrible with a great soundtrack. Let the good times roll! Thanks, Mike!

131. (1190.) Gone in 60 Seconds (1974)
This was the original, not the Nick Cage remake. Forget plot and character. This is really just an excuse for a 30-minute long car chase/destruction derby. If you live for the third act of The Blues Brothers, then this is your sort of movie.

132. (1191.) The Magnificent Seven (2016)
This isn't the original, this is the Denzel Washington remake. The remake has nice, glossy cinematography and a dumber than real life villain with a lot, I mean a lot of very gory violence. Frankly, I'll take Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen instead, thank you.

133. (1192.) They Live By Night (1948)
Two kids on the wrong side of the law fall in love and live . . . on the wrong side of the law. Until, you know, the law catches them. That's how these noir movies always end. Still, it's pretty good while it lasts, and I guess that's the point.

134. (1193.) Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016)
Never Go Back is a terrible name for a sequel. As expected, this is more of the same as the first movie. I'd watch a third if it came along.

More to come.

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Today was a UGA home game. The Bulldogs played Samford in Sanford Stadium at 7:30pm. However, I wasn't there to see it. Instead, I had to spend the day on Tybee Island with Mom.

Don't get me wrong. I love Tybee. (And I love Mom.) Tybee is a charming coastal town with some fantastic scenery. (And Mom is Mom.) I'm happy to report that most of the island survived Hurricane Irma just fine, though plenty of scars from last week's storm were still visible everywhere. But it wasn't Tybee's beauty or Irma's wrath (or Mom's Momness) that brought us to the Georgia coast. No, we were here to attend friend Brian's beach wedding in the shadow of Tybee's historic lighthouse.

Mom rented a wonderful house at 117 Cedarwood Drive, and she, Audrey, July, and I used it as a base of operations for our weekend stay. Mom frequently visited the beach (just a few hundred yards to our north) to collect shells, each time leaving Audrey behind to rue Tybee's draconian "no pets on the beach" policy.

Sadly, I somehow managed not to take any pictures of the groom or bride, Veronika. For that matter, I don't have any pictures of groomsmen friends Ken, Keith, or Michael, either. The wedding party didn't show up on the beach until after the wedding officiant warned the attendees not to take pictures because that was the wedding photographer's job. Instead, you'll just have to be satisfied with this screen grab from the lovebird's official wedding website.

In fact, the only picture I have of the wedding was taken by friend James. (James was one of my few friends in attendance who wasn't actually in the wedding party. Matt was the other. Why was I not in the wedding party? I'm sure it had no small part to do with my vowing to Brian after Keith's wedding that I would never wear anything dressier than jeans to a wedding again. "Except mine?" Brian asked. "Even yours," I answered. That's what I like about Brian. He listens.) James couldn't resist disobeying the order not to take any pics, but he somehow still managed not to get the wedding party. (Reminder: "Never do what James does.")

I haven't attended a lot of weddings. I don't like them. Yet I found this one left an especially bittersweet taste for many reasons, not the least of which was that Brian was the last of my single friends likely to get married. From this point forward, we're all more likely to reunite at a funeral than another wedding. That's an uncomfortable thought, though it's better than imagining the possibility that I may have to sit through yet another wedding ceremony.

Good luck, Brian and Veronika. Do me a favor and be so happy together that we don't have to do this all over again, ok? Thanks.

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I recently joined some old friends for dinner. We set out for Olive Garden, but when Brian discovered the wait at Olive Garden would be 25 minutes, he insisted we head to P.F. Chang's, a restaurant I'd never been to before. It took us 10 minutes to get there. Fortunately, their wait was only 15 minutes. Thanks, Brian!

I'd never eaten at a P.F. Chang's before. I doubt I will again. Not that there was anything wrong with the food, but the service left something — almost everything — to be desired.

The woman who led us to our table handed us menus, introduced herself, and said she'd be our waitress. Excusing herself, she said she'd return shortly to take our drink order. She wasn't gone sixty seconds before another fellow came along, introduced himself, and said he'd be our waiter. Whatever.

The dude made some small talk with James, who is always desperate for more attention, and then took our drink orders. James ordered a Diet Coke with lemon, Brian ordered unsweetened tea with lemon and sweeteners on the side (because Brian), Mike ordered sweet tea with lemon, and I said I'd have what Mike was having. Pay attention; there will be a quiz later.

James ordered an appetizer of pork dumplings. The waiter apologized that they were out of pork (!) so James accepted a substitution of vegetable dumplings. Finally the dude leaves to get our drinks and appetizer while we continue perusing the entree menu. (I'm amazed you're still reading this, but hang in there.)

The waiter returns and apologizes again. It seems that there was some confusion and he is not our waiter, but he promises us that he has placed our appetizer and drink orders. He leaves, and moments later the original woman arrives with our drinks. No lemons or sweeteners. As she hands them out, she apologizes and tells us that there has been some confusion, and she will indeed, truly be our waitress. She then apologizes again, explaining that the restaurant is out of pork. Would we like vegetable dumplings instead? Sure, whatever. We place our entree orders. And could we get lemons for our drinks and sweeteners, please?

So we sit and wait for lemons, sugar, and vegetable rolls. A manager drops by our table. He apologizes for the confusion, then he apologizes because the restaurant is out of pork. Would we like some vegetable dumplings instead? Eyes roll. Brian, who I've seen chew out hotel managers and customer service representatives for lesser infractions, again politely asks for sweeteners for his tea. Proving why he's the man in charge, the manager materializes some sugar packages before leaving. I chastise Brian. "You just missed your last, best chance to get lemons."

Soon, the waitress returns with Mike's soup. She also proves me wrong by producing lemons. It's anybody's guess what happened to our appetizer. When asked whatever happened to our dumplings, she says, "I'll check," which is waiter-speak for "what dumplings?" At this point, I figured the wait staff was performing a vaudeville routine for us.

Eventually, we are served our entrees. No sign of dumplings. They're looking for them. "They disappeared from the window," our waitress explains cryptically. I decide that our dumplings are smarter than we are, and have probably headed back over to Olive Garden. The waitress promises that we will not be charged for the food we never got. Very polite of her.

It isn't until we've all gotten down to the business of eating that our waitress brings us a plate of vegetable dumplings. "No charge," she promises. Mike is brave enough to take a bite and declares them "okay." Hooray?

In the end, I left a $4 tip on a $17.92 bill, because I felt sorry for anyone who has to work in such a madhouse. I should probably thank them. In addition to making a meal out with my friends a very memorable affair, they also convinced me never to eat at another P.F. Chang's. Brian, next time we'll just wait for that table at Olive Garden.

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I went out of town for 2 weeks in August, but I still had time to watch 22 movies. So let's start knocking them out.

129. (436.) Hollywood Hotel (1937)
This movie is the original source for the song "Hooray for Hollywood." The song kicks off the movie, and quite frankly, is the best thing about it. (The rest of the movie isn't bad. It's just not as good as the opening scene.) I hate it when movies give you their best scene up front. I'm always left disappointed that I spend the next two hours waiting for something better than the opener. Oh, well. I guess since everyone knows the song but not this movie, it all worked out in the end.

130. (437.) Oldboy (2003)
Watched on the recommendation of a friend because an American remake is in the works. I don't know that I care to see it again. The movie cheats its storytelling. This is a necessary deception. If it were to be honest, the "shock" of the climax would be ruined. I don't know if the discovery of the climactic revelation soured me on the movie, but I found the post-climax events to be the worst part of the film.

131. (438.) Double Harness (1933)
William Powell can salvage the most boring movies. I paid more time watching costumes and kitchen appliances than I did to the one-note story. If it wasn't for Powell, I wouldn't have gotten through it at all.

132. (439.) True Grit (2010)
I respect the Brothers Coen, but this isn't better than the John Wayne version. Who thought it a good idea that Jeff Bridges mumble all his lines?

133. (440.) Hail the Conquering Hero (1944)
I know I've said it before, but Preston Sturges really can do no wrong.

134. (441.) Expendables 2 (2012)
Stupid, straightforward action flick. They may all be old men, but seeing Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Willis share screen time during a firefight is surprisingly satisfying.

135. (442.) Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010)
Another derivative "monsters live among us" movie, a la Hellboy, Men in Black, Twilight, and Underworld. A detective to the underworld? I think I wrote some similar fan fiction when I was in high school. That said, Brandon Routh is very likable.

136. (443.) The Hunger Games (2012)
Speaking of derivative....

137. (444.) Mister Roberts (1955)
I tried to watch this last year and couldn't get past the first 30 minutes. (I am no fan of Jack Lemmon.) I picked it back up where I left off and watched the rest of it. I still don't really like it, but at least I've seen it. (The ending feels particularly unnecessary, but then so does almost all teh rest of it.)

138. (445.) Jersey Girls (2004)
So Ben Affleck is going to be Batman? Really? In this movie he jokingly calls his street sweeper the Batmobile. I know the line was a joke, but if it is any indication of Affleck's Batman, I think I can do without.

139. (446.) The Benchwarmers (2006)
Dad recommended it. It was better than I was expecting. I'm pretty sure that's not saying much. Let's just say that Rob Schneider as the former high school jock/bully stretched suspension of disbelief a little too far, even for an Adam Sandler farce.

Eleven more coming soon.

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