McFarlane Toys recently announced a new line of Batman cowl replicas. The "replica" in the name is important, because these cowls have never been worn by the actual Batman.

My topmost bookshelf currently showcases a Golden Age Superman statue, a battery-powered Star Trek TOS starship Enterprise, a Judge Dredd badge with my name on it, V.I.N.cent, Captain Carrot, and Booster Gold inaction figures and a life-size Batman Begins Halloween pail. The red-headed stepchild there is the Halloween pail. I'm not a big fan of the Batman Begins version of Batman, and it would be nice to replace the piercing gaze of that blue-eyed plastic pail with something less horrifying.

The new McFarlane cowls represent the 1966 television Batman, the 1989 movie Batman, and the 1993 comic book Batman. I like the idea of them, but I cannot bring myself to order one. For one thing, as I mentioned, they are stiff plastic replicas. More importantly, they are only 1:3 scale.

As everyone knows, the average American's head is about 9.5 inches high. (Batman is slightly larger than the average American, so assume his head is closer to 10 inches tall, not counting the pointy ears.) That means that a 1:3 scale cowl would only fit a 3-inch tall head! The packaging says they're about 7 inches tall with stand and pointy ears. If I put a 3-inch hood on my shelf, I'm worried it won't look so much like a Batman tribute as something I stole it from a racist Smurf.

So for the time being, I guess I'm sticking with plastic Christian Bale. On the bright side, his head can hold several bags of Halloween candy, and that's not nothing.

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www.boosterrific.com

Does April Fools Day have any value in an AI-driven post-truth society? I sure hope so.

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I was inclined to believe that Elon Musk's takeover of Twitter wouldn't mean any real change to the platform. After all, it's been a sewer of uneducated shitposts for years. But through careful curation, I had carved out a space for posts from comic book publishers and creators (specifically creators who worked on Booster Gold comic books). I figured that shouldn't change under new ownership.

However, no sooner had Musk taken control than the app started suggesting I might be interested in tweets from "Elon Musk." Musk bought Twitter because he likes to troll other users — specifically potential investors and the Securities and Exchange Commission — not because he likes comic books. I didn't follow him before he spent $44 billion to tank a business, and I'm not interested in following him now. So I declined the suggestion.

Twitter said okay, how about tweets from "business leaders"? Technically, creating comic books is a business, but that's not what these are. All of the tweets promoted in this category seemed to be someone criticizing the old leadership at Twitter for hiring thousands too many employees and/or praising Elon Musk, who has — completely coincidentally, I'm sure — just reinstated their previously banned account. Neither of those topics has anything to do with comic books, so I told Twitter I wasn't interested in what any "business leaders" had to say, either.

Twitter said okay, how about "tech news" tweets? I mean, that's what I do professionally, so maybe? But Twitter's idea of "tech news" seems to be limited to exclamations about how great it is that a billionaire has bought a social media company. It's a win for free speech, they say! I think I speak for all Americans when I say that if "free speech" means I have to hear less about comic books, you can keep it to yourself.

So what's next? "Car manufacturers" promoting government-funded space travel? "Cool guys" advising that hot chicks love Teslas? "Medical professionals" recommending that I should add cocaine to my Coca-Cola just like Elon Musk does? No, thanks, Twitter. Just comic book news. Please.

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I posted this panel from of Mary Marvel and Hoppy from New Champions of Shazam #2 (a delightful comic) on Twitter yesterday, and it has far, far more retweets than anything I've ever posted in the 11 years I've been on that site.

words by Josie Campbell + art by Doc Shaner = 100% Marvelous

Granted, most of the things I post on Twitter are related to an entirely different and much less well-known comic book character (no, not Batman but Booster Gold), but whatever. If it influences more people to read the comics I like (which in turn encourages DC to make more of the comics I like), I'll call it a win.

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Finally! These are the final entries in my 2020 new-to-me movie list, all coming from December.

199. (1853.) Going Attractions: The Definitive Story of the Movie Palace (2019)
This is a documentary about the kind of movie houses that barely exist anymore, those built to worship the mythology of the big silver screen. It's equal parts nostalgia and an oral history of the decline and fall of western civilization. I loved it.

200. (1854.) Monster Zero (1965)
This is one of the Toho Godzilla films (also released as Invasion of Astro-Monster). Here's the plot: a group of aliens beg Earthings to lend them Godzilla in order to eradicate the threat King Ghidrah presents to their home, Planet X, but it's all really a trick to get Godzilla off Earth so the aliens can take over. I have to assume it made more sense in the original language, because this thing was nutso in all the best possible ways.

201. (1855.) Black Christmas (1974)
A slasher flick which treads heavily on the "The call is coming from inside the house" ghost story. I did not find it particularly satisfying, despite the presence of Margot Kidder and John Saxon.

202. (1856.) Teen Titans GO! To the Movies (2018)
I watched this only to see Booster Gold, and I was pleasantly surprised. Fans of comic books will enjoy.

203. (1857.) Downhill (1927)
This early Alfred Hitchcock silent doesn't have a cameo appearance by the director, which is a shame, because the film is equally devoid of any real substance. (Rich boy gets blamed for knocking up a shop clerk and his life goes quickly, well, you get the idea.) For Hitchcock diehards only.

204. (1858.) Red Sun (1971)
Did you know there was a spaghetti western starring Charles Bronson and Toshiro Mifune, the samurai who inspired The Man With No Name? Well, there is. And it's very good.

205. (1859.) It Happened on Fifth Avenue (1947)
Another very good film, this time a light comedy of errors featuring class warfare butting up against Christian spirit. It could easily have ended happily several times, but to its credit, it never takes the easy way out and still resolves excellently. A Merry Christmas to us all!

Onward to 2021! More to come.

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More 2014 art by Walter. (Two pieces in one year? Hot damn!)

Blue Beagle and Rooster Gold. Merry Christmas.

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After a focused site re-tooling and a couple of long nights, Boosterrific.com is now the number 2 return in Google on the key phrase "Booster Gold" (behind Wikipedia, curse them). I consider this to be something of an accomplishment. Maybe not so great as founding a country or curing smallpox, perhaps, but certainly better than having a million Twitter followers or running a multi-million dollar business into the ground. So, congratulations to me.

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After watching waaay too much football this past weekend, I got to thinking about how football is under-represented in superhero comic books. That led me to thinking about who I'd recruit for my team if I I were to organize a football team from the DC Universe. (What do you mean you've never thought about super heroes playing football? Maybe you need to get a life.)

Of course, while introducing super powers to the game of football, I'd have to have a couple of ground rules in addition to standard American Football conventions. Rule 1: no flying. Flying with the ball would totally negate the passing game and eliminate the quarterback position. Rule 2: I'd also disallow any ranged tackling, either by sound waves, seismic assault, increased gravity, or whatnot. If you don't bring the ball carrier down with your body, it's just plain unsportsmanlike. Rule 3: all powers must be natural. No technological or biochemical enhancements, as that's an unfair advantage over the competition. Miraclo is the DCU equivalent to steroids, and Steel's power suit would be the equivalent of, well, a really nice set of pads with a lot of Stickum. (While organized football teams in the DC Universe do disqualify anyone with an active metagene, I'm not going to be that much of a stickler!) Unfortunately, Rule 3 means that Booster Gold, star quarterback of the 25th Century, is disqualified from my team.

I've also elected to eliminate aliens, gods (including Superman), New Gods, and time travelers from consideration for team membership, as aliens probably wouldn't know much about football, deities would never deign to play simple games, and I wouldn't trust time-travelers not to bet on the outcome of the game. (Sorry, Legion of Super-Heroes.) So I present to you my DCU football squad:

• Quarterback: Nightwing. In addition to being an accomplished team leader, he's also an acrobat who throws batarangs all night. He's the younger, likeable Batman.
• Running Back: Flash (Wally West). It'd be a mistake to have a running game without the World's Fastest Man on the field. And with his quick foot speed, he can double as kicker, if necessary.
• Full Back: Mister Terrific. Though Terrific may lack the strength of a traditional fullback, he's won Olympic gold as a decathlete and should be a fine backfield receiver. Besides, it's simply impossible to build a football team without the man whose motto is "Fair Play."
• Center: Beast Boy can change shape into powerful animals and still snap the ball with his tail.
• Guards: Blue Devil is an ex-stuntman with demonically enhanced super strength. The Tasmanian Devil's strength coupled with his aggressive nature makes him a natural.
• Tackles:Sandman's silicon-based shapeshifting powers grant size and strength and teammate Citizen Steel is covered in an organic metal skin which grants super strength and invulnerability. (Steel represents the slot vacated by another athlete who lost his original limbs to injury, Cyborg, who was kept off the team by Rule 3.)
• Wide Receivers: Plastic Man (anywhere on the field, it's a catch) and Atom Smasher. Atom Smasher's natural height and strength give him an edge even when he's not using his power to grow to towering heights.
• Tight End: Animal Man. Strong as an ox, agile as a fly, resilient as a roach: Animal Man is perfect for the jack-of-all trades position of blocker/receiver. (My original choice for this position was Captain Comet, but I fear that he's growing a bit long in the tooth.)

It's really a shame that I couldn't squeeze Aquaman on the team, but his inability to be out of water for more than 60 minutes really limits his usefulness as anything other than team water boy.

The natural opposition for the offensive team is a defense comprised of the vilest villains. While there are many more villains than heroes, I've selected the following for a scrimmage taking into account their powers and demonstrated willingness to work with other villains on teams (such as the Suicide Squad or Injustice Gang):

• Defensive Ends: General Eiling (aka the Shaggy Man) and Clayface. Both are sufficiently strong, agile, and quick enough to present a real threat to a quarterback.
• Defensive Tackles: Gorilla Grodd and Monsieur Mallah, two giant, genius apes that will take up most of the field with size alone.
• Outside Linebackers: Ibac and Killer Croc. Two huge, quick, strong men who enjoy the chase.
• Middle Linebacker: Bane. Once a steroid addict, even off the sauce Bane is as powerful and smart as the Batman. A great field captain.
• Cornerbacks: Parasite and Sportsmaster. Sure, Parasite would steal powers and cheat, but what do you expect from a team of villains. And Sportsmaster is as necessary on this defense as Mr. Terrific is on the offense; he's a master of sports!
• Free Safety: the new Captain Boomerang. (I'd've loved to have either Professor Zoom, but they're both time-travelers.) While Boomerang 2 isn't as villainous as his father, he still picks and chooses his sides too carelessly to be called a hero.
• Strong Safety: Major Force. He really does love hitting people. And then squeezing them into refrigerators. He was created to play safety.

There, that's enough for a full 11-on-11 scrimmage. Play ball!

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Death and taxes? Not if you're a superhero: then it's just taxes.

Superman never accepts rewards for performing hundreds of thousands of good deeds each year. Not only is it ethically questionable to do so, he would no doubt have trouble with the United States government Internal Revenue Service if he did. Each of those "gifts" could be considered taxable income if they were given in exchange for services, such as saving a life or preventing property loss. Hopefully, mild-mannered newspaper reporters earn enough to keep the Man of Steel in fresh pairs of tights.

Booster Gold, a hero who uses his identity for merchandising opportunities, was once arrested for income tax evasion. This was an especially tricky situation for Gold, for as a time-traveler, he had no birth certificate, Social Security Number, or even finger prints on record. He was only extricated from the situation because he had very recently saved the president's life and cashed in a few political favors to earn a tax identification number and honorary American citizenship. Remember, kiddies, it's always who you know, not what you know.

When the Justice League was sponsored (and bankrolled) by the United Nations in the 1980s, Batman, Captain Marvel, and Dr. Fate were forced to quit the team. Although each gave a different reason at the time, they all had very secret identities to maintain and would have had to reveal those identities to their handlers in order to receive the United Nations stipend. All of the remaining heroes on the team were more casual with their secret identities (generally they had less at stake) and were no doubt pleased to be receiving some pay, even at the cost of compromising their secret lives.

Makes you wonder if it's worth saving the world if you're going to have to save your receipts, doesn't it?

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At long last, I've launched my tribute site to Booster Gold, DC Comic's second greatest super hero. You can browse the site (10 months in the making!) at your leisure here: www.boosterrific.com. There you can marvel at my mad skillz.

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