The only downside to watching over two hundred hours of Olympic coverage in recent weeks is the constant bombardment of advertisements for the latest entry in the Georgia governor race, Rick Jackson. Apparently, he's a billionaire, and I only know that because A) he brags about it in his ads, and B) he bought ads in seemingly every possible commercial break. From someone who likes to remind us that he's a self-made billionaire, that doesn't seem like a very effective use of money.

The story of his by-his-bootstraps, up-from-foster-care wealth isn't the only thing I've learned from his commercials. He's also really into cutting taxes. A billionaire who doesn't want to pay taxes? How novel. I wonder if neither of us pays, which one comes out ahead?

To be fair, it seems everyone in the race wants to cut my taxes. Getting rid of income tax is a hot topic in Georgia politics right now. I say "right now," but it's a fact of life that no one ever wants to pay taxes. And, as an added bonus, if the state government doesn't have any money, then they don't have to worry that some of that money might be spent on people who "want to sit on your butt, binge watch Netflix, and scarf down Cheetos," to quote the Rick Jackson on my television. What kind of worthless scum likes watching movies and eating delicious snacks? Fuck those losers!

It would be disingenuous to call Rick Jackson an outsider in Georgia politics. He has long been a prominent (and deep-pocketed) donor to state and national Republicans. His late entry into this election indicates he doesn't think he's getting his money's worth from the current candidates. Though I'm no fan of his recent vow to become "Trump's favorite governor," I have read enough about Jackson to suspect he's probably a better human being than his vainglorious attempt to buy an election would indicate. It's nice to think that there are very fine people on both sides.

Therefore, I assume Jackson would be pleased to hear that many, many, many repeated viewings of his life story have already left an impact on my life. I'm so sick of his commercials that I have nicknamed the mute button on my remote the "Rick Jackson button."

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Every day we awaken to find that the world isn't even the place it was the night before. Predictably, that constant instability has led to fear, fear to anger, anger to hate, and hate to suffering. The goal should be to try to curtail that path, not accelerate it. Any man can only take so much injustice, cruelty, and bad taste before hopelessness wins.

Which is why I'm demanding that Kroger return to its previous recipe for Bread and Butter Chips.

Back in the good old days, the ingredients were listed as "Fresh cucumbers, sugar, water, vinegar, and less than 2% of: salt, spices (including mustard and celery seed), calcium chloride, turmeric extract (color), gum arabic, natural flavors." The result: deliciousness!

But now? Kroger pickles have become a "Product of Vietnam" with ingredients "Cucumbers, sugar, water, vinegar, salt, mustard seeds, celery seeds, gum arabic, natural flavor, turmeric oleoresin (for color)." Those may look like small changes (just 3% more salt and 2% more sugar), presumably to keep the price down, but they translate to soggier, sweeter, inferior pickles. Blech. I'll never underestimate the value of calcium chloride again.

If I have to watch as the United States sides with corporations, racists, and the enablers of pedophiles over the welfare of its own citizens; disavows medical and climate science; scuttles the global economy; turns its back on former allies Europe and NATO; solicits bribes from criminals and tyrants around the globe; murders people in international waters and its own streets; and bullies media conglomerates, law firms, and astronauts to deny its immoral behavior — you know, all the things 78 million American people voted for in 2024 — then at the very least I should be able to enjoy my favorite pickles as the legacy of the America I used to know crumbles around me. If you can't find joy in the little things, what's left?

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Look, I enjoy milk as much as the next guy. But maybe not as much as this guy:

THE PRESIDENT
So milk would help your cognitive ability?

FORMER SECRETARY OF HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT
Absolutely. You can tell who's been--

THE PRESIDENT
Take a cognitive test. Look, I've taken a lot of them. I've got a.... I've aced every one of them 'cause I drink milk.

Actual Transcript
"Whole Milk for Healthy Kids Act" signing ceremony
White House Oval Office
January 14, 2026

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If you've read the news in the past few weeks, you may have a little trouble figuring out what the word "terrorism" actually means these days. It's being thrown around a lot to cover a lot of situations. So let's see if we can help clarify.

Merriam-Webster.com: ter·​ror·​ism, n: the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion.

Wiktionary.com: terrorism (usually uncountable, plural terrorisms) The use of unlawful violence against people or property to achieve political objectives.

Kids.Britannica.com: (under ter​ror​ism) Terrorists are people who use fear to try to change society.

As you can see, performing "terrorism" generally requires intent that the act would intimidate others into compliance with your desires out of a sense of fear. Darth Vader was a terrorist; he made his Imperial officers watch him kill their leaders so they would be too afraid to question his amoral orders. On the other hand, Freddy Krueger was not a terrorist; he was just a monster who enjoyed killing people.

The October 7 attack on Israel was an act of terrorism. The September 11 attack on America was an act of terrorism. Wearing white sheets and burning crosses in front yards has always been terrorism. Shootings on school campuses can be terrorism, but they can also just be murder. Trafficking drugs is itself not generally an act of terrorism, but in the right situation with the wrong sorts of people (like The Joker), it could be. Holding protest rallies is not terrorism (so long as there's no threat of violence). Fleeing across political borders, while illegal, is not terrorism (because people themselves are not inherently terrifying or seeking to force societal change by standing on one side or the other of an imaginary boundary).

Trying to escape police, while possibly unwise, is definitely not terrorism. Likewise, shooting someone in self defense, even if you were wrong to think you were in danger, is not terrorism either. But a hypothetical case of encouraging lethal force to subdue a fleeing suspect so others will think twice about trying to escape if they find themselves in the same situation? That's Darth Vader territory.

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In an apt metaphor for America in 2025,¹ I'm ending the year trying to find a bandage that will stick and cover the self-inflicted wound to my scrotum.²

¹ You know what I mean. I have actively tried to avoid posting about current events this year because I've been trying to keep my attention on things that don't make me miserable. The results have been mixed. I've been through four 1.75 liter bottles of Kaluha.

² It's not what you think, unless you think I intentionally stabbed myself with a pointy object. I nicked a tiny skin tag with scissors. Maybe I *should* shave; band-aids would adhere better.

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"The deportations will continue until morale improves."

According to multiple generally-trustworthy news sources, that was the response that a spokesman for the Governor of Florida gave today concerning a court order that the state's immigrant detention camp in the Everglades must be closed within 60 days.

Variations of the common quip "The beatings will continue until morale improves" have existed since at least Voltaire wrote Candide in the 18th century. The sentiment is always meant satirically, as (surprise, surprise) beatings will always have the opposite effect of improving morale.

So the question becomes: did the spokesman intend his comment satirically? Is he a subversive in the unwitting Governor's employ? Does the governor want Floridians to have bad morale? Or did he read Candide and decide, like Pangloss, that we really do live in the best of all possible worlds? I think it's most likely that the spokesman only knows the phrase from ironic t-shirts. Which is a shame, as Candide is very, very good.

In any event, if the job of a spokesman is to communicate ideas with clarity, this person is bad at his job. But I suppose that if being good at your job was a requirement for governments, they would definitely be much, much smaller.

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My passport was set to expire before the end of the year, so I just requested a new one online. Just in time, too, as I may need to escape the US. From what I hear in the news, crime has run amok in DC; apparently over 1,500 convicted criminals who stormed the Capitol on January 6 are currently on the loose.

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I was much an enemy to monarchy before I came to Europe. I am ten thousand times more so since I have seen what they are. There is scarcely an evil known in these countries which may not be traced to their king as it’s source, nor a good which is not derived from the small fibres of republicanism existing among them. I can further say with safety there is not a crowned head in Europe whose talents or merit would entitle him to be elected a vestryman by the people of any parish in America. However I shall hope that before there is danger of this change taking place in the office of President, the good sense and free spirit of our countrymen will make the changes necessary to prevent it.

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It's not uncommon these days to hear someone say that they wish comics today were apolitical like the comics of their youth. Well, I was 8 when DC Comics Presents #62 came out in 1983 (Reagan's America!), and the plot of that comic was that a group of neo-Nazis planned to destroy the Constitution of the United States, demoralizing American society until it collapsed inward to "Racial Hatred... Mob Violence" which the Nazis would then graciously offer to save us from... for the bargain price of our souls. Obviously, that story has absolutely no political message. Silly me.

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Superman #18, Sept/Oct 1942

Super-mansplaining.

In addition to its timeless cautionary tale about underestimating lying Nazi scum, Superman #18 also has a message for members of the Supermen of America Club. Using their Superman Secret Code card and "Code Mars No. 3" (which is an easily cracked simple Caesar cipher substitution where the offset is 3 letters to the left), club members learned "STRENTH, COURAGE, AND JUSTICE WILL SEE US THROUGH!" Democracies might be gullible, but at least no one can make us use spellcheck!

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