Not a great bunch of entertainment value here.

51/2362. The First Auto (1927)
This is a pretty simple story about a horse-lovin' man slowly coming to terms with the march of progress. The appeal is all the shots of early cars and how they did (and sometimes didn't) work.

52/2363. The Cheat (1915)
TCM played this as part of a tribute to Japanese actor Sessue Hayakawa, but there's not really a lot to celebrate. Apparently, it was a bit of a sensation back in its day. Sure, Hayakawa's character is the sort of tall, dark and handsome slime that infatuated early movie audiences, but he's only taking advantage of the series of very poor choices that the white "lady" made herself in the first half of the film. Ick.

53/2364. Flirtation Walk (1934)
As much as I enjoy Dick Powell and Ruby Keeler in other, better musicals, this forgettable, fervently pro-Army melodrama is just too darn light on the music. I can say that it taught me that Flirtation Walk is the name of an actual landmark at West Point, so it certainly wasn't a total waste of time.

54/2365. Laugh and Get Rich (1931)
I recommend against this "comedy." Despite having the delightfully odd Edna May Oliver in a lead role, it's very much a couple of dull sitcom elements slow rolled into an 80-minute runtime. Snore.

55/2366. Sweet Charity (1969)
I don't understand most of the choices that director Bob Fosse makes with this movie adaptation of the stage show, but I disagree with most all of them, especially the obvious lip-synching. Everything that's worth watching here happens in the first hour.

More to come.

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47/2358. So Proudly We Hail! (1943)
The main narrative of this melodramatic romance is very dull (despite the male half being George Reeves), but the background situation of a group of American nurses trapped in Bataan as the Japanese war machine begins to roll through in the Philippines at the start of World War II is quite riveting. It's all utterly horrible, and from what I've read, reality was worse.

Side note: since this is Superman Month, it's probably worth noting that there is a recurring bit in this in which one of the American soldiers is repeatedly referred to as Superman. (Fun fact: it is NOT the character played by George Reeves.) The events are set in 1941, and Superman would have been only 3 at the time. (He was barely 5 when the film was released!) This was a Paramount picture, and Paramount was also responsible for the brilliant Max Fleisher Superman cartoon shorts that debuted in 1940. So the name-dropping here counts as brand synergy product placement! You! Ess! Ay!

48/2359. Crimes of Fashion: Killer Clutch (2024)
Sadly, Hallmark mysteries don't always hit the mark. All the characters in this whodunit act like idiots so that the romance between the protagonist, a fashion psychologist, and the French policeman can get more screentime. The conclusion is particularly ridiculous. What's the haute couture world's equivalent of "two thumbs down"?

49/2360. Mean Girls 2 (2011)
Speaking of two thumbs down: this made-for-TV cash-grab sequel is inferior in all ways to its predecessor, especially the script, cinematography, and editing. But also the casting, costumes, acting, direction, stunts, and setting. (It's Atlanta! Standing in for Ohio?) Even the title, which should have been "Meaner Girls." (In this case, they nonchalantly commit crimes.) About the only thing the movie got right was the product placement.

Mean Girls drink Diet Coke

Meaner Girls drink Coke Zero

50/2361. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Darker and less satisfying than previous instalments in this franchise, I would probably be hating on this movie if not for the scene-stealing Cosmo, a talking dog obsessed with being "good." Seriously, cut out the rest and just fast forward to the Cosmo scenes... or go watch this YouTube video.

More to come.

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6/2317. Time Bomb Y2K (2023)
This documentary has no commentary or interviews, just clips of footage taken from original sources as the world marched toward a potential disaster on January 1, 2000. The clip selection (perhaps out of necessity) tends towards typically overblown media sensationalism, and the end result is like leaving a cup of history out in the sun and reviewing it later after the sane parts had evaporated out. A history reduction! Its fever pitch doesn't quite match my memories of the era, but that would admittedly make for less entertaining television.

7/2318. This Place Rules (2022)
Another documentary of a different sort as journalist Andrew Callaghan records himself traveling around the country attending Trump rallies in the weeks leading to January 6, 2021. Unlike Jordan Klepper's similar pieces for The Daily Show, Callaghan's point of view isn't as obvious, sometimes seeming more empathetic and sometimes entirely apathetic. At times, this feels a bit like an art piece, and as with all things in Trump World, it's hard to ascertain how much is truth and how much is performative. If nothing else, it's an interesting artifact of its era.

8/2319. Thriller 40 (2023)
There are plenty of interviews in this documentary celebrating the 40th anniversary of the release of Michael Jackson's Thriller album. There's a lot of talk about how Thriller and the artistic genius behind it changed the world of music and entertainment for the better but very little discussion about the controversial legacy of Jackson himself. Maybe that's the way it should be; it just felt a little hollow looking backwards at what I (and all the interviewees) know to be in Jackson's future.

9/2320. The Liquidator (1965)
This spy action/comedy, with a theme performed by my favorite James Bond theme-songstress, Shirley Bassey, features Rod Taylor as a British secret agent with a license to kill... who hires other people to kill for him, which is a smaller part of the plot than you'd expect. In fact, the story is a bit of a meandering hot mess as it struggles to exploit a niche that other James Bond rip-offs hadn't yet. Honestly, I don't know that I would have made it all the way through if it wasn't for the prominent role of given to Jill St. John, my favorite Bond Girl.

Which is not to say that the movie is entirely stupid. It's hard to read in the image above, but "Refreshes you best" was indeed Coke's international slogan in 1959. Here is also cleverly serves here as a visual double entendre for the sexual proclivities of our hero, who works in a diner called the Bird Cage where he stalks attractive (and willing) young women -- a fact that is entirely relevant to the third act twist. Oh, well. They can't all be Diamonds Are Forever.

10/2321. The Tale of Zatoichi (1962)
The Internet tells me that the blind ronin Zatoichi was an incredibly popular action hero in Japan. I don't see why (no pun intended), but the film, the first of many for the character, isn't exactly bad as it is a little slow and dull. But maybe it was better than whatever else Japanese audiences were being offered in 1962. Maybe it took some time for Dr. No to cross the Pacific. (The fifth Bond film, Japanese-set You Only Live Twice, wouldn't arrive in theaters until 1967. By then, there had already been 14 Zatoichi films!)

More to come.

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137/2303. Asteroid City (2023)
It feels almost like all other Wes Anderson films were setting the stage for this, the most Wes Anderson film yet. I probably don't need to tell you that this was my favorite movie of 2023. Like Birdman, the meta-commentary on plays, acting, art, and entertainment is more text than subtext, yet it still manages to be evasive enough for multiple interpretations. "You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep."

138/2304. Altered States (1980)
Because I don't enjoy body horror or drug movies, I have been avoiding this movie since I first became aware of its existence (thanks to a Mad magazine parody), and I was right to. It's a hot mess. Screenwriter Paddy Chayefsky's words are here, but the director and actors sidestep Chayefsky's cynicism for an irritatingly earnest.... horror romance? Not very not good.

Coca-Cola is the mildest mind-altering drug in this picture.

139/2305. Albert Brooks: Defending My Life (2023)
Rob Reiner's documentary interview with Albert Brooks is pretty entertaining because Albert Brooks is very entertaining. It could have been three times as long and been just as good.

140/2306. Best Defense (1984)
Speaking of not very good.... Looking back on Eddie Murphy's lifetime body of work, very few of his movies are really any good. He has admitted he did this one just for the money, and it shows. Dudley Moore isn't any better in this very mediocre spy "comedy."

141/2307. The Cheaters (1945)
This very slim plot involving scammers bilking a girl out of her inheritance at Christmas barely sustains the 90 minute runtime. It did not hold my full attention, but it also didn't drive me away. Make of that what you will.

142/2308. An Actor's Revenge (1963)
This experimental Japanese movie is staged to look shallow, like a stage play, which is directly relevant to the story, but the story itself is something like a dull cross-dressing version of Hamlet. I like my movies a little weird, but the slow pace put me to sleep. I did not want to wake up for more.

More to come.

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84/2250. Elmer, the Great (1933)
The premise here is that baseball player Elmer (Joe E. Brown in an over-the-top performance of buffoonery that would embarrass Adam Sandler) is such a great batter with such intolerable eccentricates that the Chicago Cubs are forced to lie to him about his love interest in order to ride his bat to the World Series. Of course, the lies lead to crime, specifically a gambling syndicate, that potentially compromise the game. Because that's what lies do.

85/2251. Skippy (1931)
Never heard of the comic strip "Skippy"? I doubt this film will make you seek it out, although I'm lead to believe it was a big hit in its day. Li'l Jackie Cooper breathes life into one of the most famous comic strip characters of the early 20th century in a series of misadventures involving, among other things, dog murder. Seriously. Cooper was nominated for an Oscar for this because everyone is heartbroken to see a child crying over a dead dog. Shame on you, Hollywood!

86/2252. Three on a Match (1932)
While the popularity of the Skippy comic strip inspired a peanut butter brand to steal the name, Three on a Match was built on the popular superstition encouraged (created?) by a safety match tycoon to sell more matches. The story is a salacious tale of intertwining lives of three former classmates. Naturally, the third one to light on the match suffers a bad end, although that's owed more to her use of drugs than her thrifty use of matches. (Trivia note: this movie also supposedly includes Jack Webb's first screen appearance, but good luck spotting him in the crowd.)

87/2253. Private Detective 62 (1933)
Decades before Remington Steele, debonaire but destitute William Powell fast-talks his way into a becoming a partner in a private detective agency. Too bad for Bill that his new partner is no Stephanie Zimbalist and lacks any sort of scruples.

88/2254. The Castle of Sand (1974)
I interrupt today's list of pre-code Hollywood films with this Japanese police procedural with a very strong social justice message. (Lepers are people too!) The last act leans a little too heavily into sentimentality for my tastes, but the extended Dragnet-style investigation that precedes it earned my tolerance as the killer's motivations are finally revealed.

89/2255. Svengali (1931)
From the German Expressionism of the set designs to the Horrific gothic shadows of the lighting and costumes, it's pretty clear this production was heavily influenced (for the better) by the original Dracula. What's most surprising about this adaptation of the novel Trilby is how sympathetic it actually is to the hypnotic outsider Svengali, who really could (and perhaps should) be presented as something of a demonic sexual predator. I think the movie is much less kind to the prudish English fop Billee, who in his own way, isn't any better than the story's titular "villain," although I'm certainly willing to admit that my 21st-century perspective probably colors my interpretation of what "acceptable behavior" is. Worth a watch.

More to come.

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I've been going through an ELO phase lately, collecting all of their studio albums. (Judge me if you want to, but you can do a lot worse than ELO.) And that led me to this animation that used tracks from ELO's 1981 album Time (specifically "Prologue" and "Twilight") as an unauthorized soundtrack.

Don't blink, or you might miss Batman and Robin!

https://youtu.be/-840keiiFDE

Believe it or not, that animation was originally created 40 years ago by university students for a 1983 Japanese science fiction convention DAICON IV. I'd say it stands up about as well as ELO's music does, which is to say, "Very Well."

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Mark Evanier, who has written a few comic books in his day, recently posted on his website, newsfromme.com, a YouTube of a Japanese take on Neal Hefti's familiar Batman television theme. Since I don't have time today to come up with anything better, I'm reposting it here.

youtu.be/N947b4GF4Ag?si=1rdgeztzi3zbBBTg

Enjoy!

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I don't have anything new to say today, so let's review some recently watched movies instead.

133. (1992.) Elvis Meets Nixon (1997)
Friend Otto called to tell me he had seen this and judged it "must watch." He wasn't wrong. It's the story of Elvis's infamous December 1970 meeting with President Nixon, and it is bonkers. The details are fudged, usually for comedic effect, but the fundamentals are accurate. Otto was right; I very much enjoyed it.

Elvis famously preferred a different brand of soda, but this movie corrects that flaw.

134. (1993.) The Strawberry Blonde (1941)
It's always interesting to compare how creators change a movie between versions. The lead, played here by James Cagney, is brighter than his future version will be just seven years later (see One Sunday Afternoon), but he's also angrier (because Cagney). This one also has less music, a larger cast, and a faster pace, but the only way it is really superior to its eventual remake is the presence of George Reeves as a heavy.

135. (1994.) Three Outlaw Samurai (1964)
This Japanese samurai movie is not perfect (some comedy is too broad and some story beats come too quickly), but it is better than the average movie, and the ending is dynamite. I enjoyed it.

136. (1995.) Tequila Sunrise (1988)
In hindsight, not a lot really happens in this cops-and-robbers romance/drama, but I didn't notice at the time because the cast is so damn talented. Kurt Russell, Mel Gibson, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Raul Julia all kill it. And though the film is named for a different drink, it's a particular soda that manages to make it into a late-film montage at the start of the third act:

No movie about cocaine smuggling is complete without Coke!

More to come.

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I should be working. Instead, I'm writing movie reivews.

107. (1761.) Strike Up the Band (1940)
Poor Mickey Rooney. He's so focused on becoming a famous bandleader, he doesn't realize that Judy Garland has the hots for him. Lot of good musical numbers in this, none better than the animated band of fruits and nuts created by George Pal (aka, the director of The Time Machine).

And although Mr. Morgan is initially presented as a bad guy, you know he really means well when he offers Mickey a Coke from his bar.

108. (1762.) Kagemusha (1980)
Akira Kurosawa's Shakespearean history of a particularly unusual era in Japan. The movie looks great, but I'm sorry to report that I found it very dull. I've never had much patience for tragedy in slow motion.

109. (1763.) The Underworld Story (1950)
This was more my speed. An ethically unmoored newspaperman champions the cause of a wrongly accused black woman to line his own coffers. The movie is black and white, but only the audience seems to know it.

110. (1764.) Hopscotch (1980)
This spy comedy of misadventures is notable only because it features Walter Matthau's typical curmudgeonry.

111. (1765.) Little Women (2019)
I've seen the 1933 (Katharine Hepburn) and 1949 (Elizabeth Taylor) versions, and I'd judge the 2019 (Soairse Ronan) to be the best Little Women yet. I haven't seen it, but I can't imagine the 1994 [Winona Ryder] version could possibly be better. Forget the fact that it's a chick flick, it's just a darn good movie.

112. (1766.) Vibes (1988)
Jeff Goldblum and Cyndi Lauper are psychics who travel to South America to help Peter Faulk find a lost city of gold. It's the sort of thing you used to see filling up Saturday afternoon television. (That sounds dismissive, but I have to admit that Goldblum always delivers.)

This is NOT Jeff Goldblum.

113. (1767.) Torrid Zone (1940)
The title promises more than the film actually delivers. Gangster-in-all-but-name Jimmy Cagney courts con woman Ann Sheridan on a banana plantation during an overdue political revolution. It's the worst of colonial capitalism played for laughs. Hollywood has never been quite as progressive as Tailgunner Joe would have us believe.

More to come.

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If you don't watch TCM because you don't care for "old" movies, you're watching during the wrong hours. I saw most of these during the wee hours of Monday mornings in April during the TCM Imports programming.

59. (1713.) Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance (1972)
Based on the critically acclaimed manga comics, I found the live action adventures to actually be better than the source material. Beware that there's a completely gratuitous semi-consensual rape scene (oddly used to demonstrate how honorable the protagonist is), but if that's the strangest thing you've ever seen in Japanese cinema, this might be your first Japanese movie.

62. (1716.) Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx (1972)
Gotta love that title. The first movie is the origin story, but this one sets up the formula that the others will follow: wandering, wronged protagonist (and his infant son, Daigoro!) takes up odd jobs as stepping stones on the path to vengeance. The highlight here is the the establishment of the cub as an independent character worth cheering for.

64. (1718.) Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades (1972)
The climactic fight at the end of this episode is so over the top ridiculous that it rivals anything you might see in bigger budget American action blockbuster fare. "A rip-roaring good time!"

66. (1720.) Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in Peril (1973)
Did I mention the gratuitous nudity earlier? They finally worked it into the story in this tale of a disgraced sword-mistress who uses her feminine charms (read: tits) to distract her opponents.

73. (1727.) Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in the Land of Demons (1973)
Maybe my favorite of the bunch. For one thing, it's beautiful. For another, the themes of honor and responsibility at the core of the series resonate strongly in separate tales for both father and son.

79. (1733.) Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell (1974)
If the James Bond influence was notable back in Baby Cart to Hades, it's written on the surface of this one as the baby cart becomes a Q Branch snowmobile to fight zombies. Not that this is all exactly bad, it just doesn't live up to the bar set by its immediate predecessor.

All six of these were very watchable, and I'd recommend without hesitation to fans of action movies or Tarantino films.

More to come.

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