Showing 1 - 10 of 13 posts found matching: pennington
The Miami Dolphins have made the NFL playoffs! They play the Pittsburgh Steelers at 1PM EST on Sunday.
The last time the Dolphins played a playoff game was January 4, 2009. They lost that game 27-9. I'm not convinced that this year will be any better.
In 2009, the team lost mainly because NFL Comeback Player of the Year Chad "Noodle-Arm" Pennington threw four interceptions. That can't happen again, right? I mean, Pennington has long retired, but starting quarterback Ryan Tannehill is still out with a bum knee, leaving backup Matt Moore in his place. Moore has a fair arm, but he can be a bit reckless. Surely he won't be four interceptions worth of reckless. Right?
If the Dolphins do manage to get past round one — they did beat the Steelers 30-15 back in October — they'll head into a second week rematch against the New England Patriots. They've played the Patriots twice already this year, losing 31-24 (with Tannehill) and 35-14 (with Moore). Yeesh.
So go Dolphins! (And better luck next year!)
By any chance, have you seen ManningToMiami.com? Apparently a group of dedicated fans are doing what they can to encourage their favorite team to sign their favorite quarterback. They've bought a billboard in Fort Lauderdale, and even NFL.com has taken notice (mainly because NFL.com really doesn't have better things to do between the Super Bowl and the Combine).
It's hard to know if the people behind the site are sincere. The site sponsors are currency exchange Dinar Inc ("Worldwide Wholesaler of Iraqi Dinars"), online mortgage sellers Mortgage Company Rocks, the television show Southern Bike Night TV, and Rizzolo Group Tax & Accounting Services of Port St. Lucie, Florida. It's hard to imagine that this eclectic group of companies who advertise during the late, late, late movie has a lot of pull with the Dolphins, but I suppose stranger things have happened.
After all, the Dolphins are same team who decided that rather than sign a broken Drew Brees, it would sign a broken Daunte Culpepper. That turned out well. The Dolphins also previously decided that their best option at quarterback was a broken Chad Pennington. Surprisingly, that turned out slightly better. So what's one more broken quarterback? Someone should ask the fans in Indianapolis what's the worst that could happen.
Do you remember how excited I was that there was going to be no NFL football in 2011 because of the lock-out and how that meant that I wouldn't have to watch the Dolphins suck in 2011? Boy, I could use some lock-out now.
Dolphins update: Chad Henne was placed on Injured Reserve yesterday, meaning that he is done playing for the season. The team signed Sage Rosenfels to back-up new starter Matt Moore. Most of you have probably never heard of at least 2 of those 3 players before the previous sentence. Welcome to the Miami Dolphins 2011!
If it seems that I run a "dolphins quarterbacks suck" post almost every year, it's because I do and they do, too. Henne joins Chad Pennington as the second Dolphin quarterback from 2010 who is broken for 2011. Rosenfels was a starter for the Dolphins in 2005, and was cut by the New York Giants on Tuesday, because he had been too sick to play all preseason! Rosenfels was chosen over such luminaries as Trent Edwards, who has missed more games due to injury in his career than he has started, and Brodie Croyle, who couldn't make the roster of the Indianapolis Colts after they realized that they only had one quarterback on their roster that wasn't Peyton Manning. We're so bad that Jake Delhomme, a quarterback so unreliable that he is unwanted by 31 of 32 NFL teams, wouldn't even entertain the idea of playing for us. Matt Moore, a cast-off from the NFL's worst team in 2010 will be our 16th starter in the past 12 seasons. Hurray?.
The NFL season is only 1/4 over, and already pundits are suggesting that the Dolphins are playing for last place in the hopes of drafting Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck first overall in the 2012 NFL Draft. Luck is often compared favorably to Peyton Manning, the first overall pick of the 1998 draft for the Indianapolis Colts. It's not that I think Luck isn't good, it's more that I think the Dolphins wouldn't take him if the opportunity arises.
The last time that the Dolphins had the first overall pick, way back in 2008, they took an offensive lineman first overall. Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco were the first two quarterbacks taken in 2008, and both have proven themselves admirably in the years since. Of course the Dolphins took Chad Henne with their third pick in the 2008 Draft. That leads us back to today, where the Dolphins need a lot more than just a little Luck.
Comments (3)| Leave a Comment | Tags: dolphins quarterbacks suck nfl
Today is the 119th day of the 2011 NFL Lockout. This thing has been going on so long and gotten so much attention that it might as well have it's own logo and halftime entertainment.
The good news is that the extra time off the field has given Chad Pennington time to decide to stay off the field. ESPN.com reports
Pennington told the Charleston Daily Mail he plans to skip the 2011 season while he recovers from shoulder and knee injuries and will work for Fox Sports as an analyst. The two-time NFL Comeback Player of the Year, who [turned 35 on June 26, 2011], said he might consider returning to the field in 2012.
It isn't unheard of for quarterbacks to unretire and play pro football at 36. Brett Favre was 41 when he retired for the last time. Doug Flutie was forced out of the NFL, yet managed to return from the Great White North in time to play until he was 43. Vinny Testaverde was considered washed up after playing 6 years for the team that drafted him, then he went on to play another 14 years, retiring at the age of 44. As any Jets fan will tell you, Chad Pennington is no Vinny Testaverde.
I wish the best to Chad Pennington in his new role at Fox. I hope he's a big success there. Because I'm going to be really unhappy if he returns to the field for Miami in 2012; the Dolphins are bad enough without him.
Thank you, thank you. You're too kind. I tell you, I'm really glad to be here tonight.
I'm in a great mood. Did everyone else have a great weekend like I did? I tell you who didn't: Rory McIlroy. Irish golfer Rory McIlroy lost the Masters golf tournament on Sunday. Did you watch that? The loss was disappointing. Rumor has it that afterwards, the disappointed McIlroy got drunk and then got into a fight. So sad. The loss ruined his traditional Irish celebration plan: getting drunk and then getting into a fight. Oh, those Irish!
Did you hear the news that scientists have found the first homosexual caveman? Looks like this is true. You can't make this stuff up. Apparently the scientists could tell he was gay because his cave was incredibly tidy. It's true! So clean.
It seems that Chevrolet has issued a recall for the 2011 model year Chevy Cruze. It turns out that some Cruzes have a problem that causes the steering wheel to fall off. I'm not kidding. This could be really dangerous to people. If they could afford a tank of gas, that is. Seriously, am I right, people? Right?
And how about that toddler who was served alcohol at Applebees? Did you hear about this? True story. A toddler was apparently served margarita mix instead of apple juice in Detroit. The police said that they wouldn't press charges against the restaurant because the restaurant employees had made an honest mistake. Yeah. They said that no one in Detroit would ever really order apple juice. That's Detroit for you!
This sounds like science fiction, but the U.S. Navy reports that they've started using lasers. This is no joke. They are using these lasers to set boats on fire. That's right, the United States Navy: using giant magnifying glasses to set wet things on fire since 2011. Your tax dollars at work, people!
Anyway, we have a great show for you tonight! Stay tuned for more. We'll be right back.
Comments (4)| Leave a Comment | Tags: bad comedy news television
I woke up on April Fool's Day to find the following text message:
From: Fike -- Breaking news and i wanted to be the 1st to tell you. Pennington tore his acl playing basketball. You may be free of him for good now
Of course I immediately assumed that Fike was pulling an April Fool's Day prank on me. As you no doubt know, loyal reader, I am no fan of professional quarterback (recently employed by the Miami Dolphins) Chad "Noodle-Arm" Pennington. As I said on August 11, 2008:
It's not that I hate Pennington, I just don't see him as the answer to any of our many questions. He's old, his naturally weak arm is practically nonexistent after several operations, and he was unable to provide enough leadership in New York last year.
Replace "New York" with "Miami" and everything about that above statement is still completely true almost three years later! A joke about the health of Pennington is tailor made to get my goat, and that scumbag Fike knows it. It'd be just like him to ruin my day by getting my hopes up that Pennington was truly finished as a pro quarterback.
However, it seems that maybe I should have given my good friend Fike the benefit of the doubt. Both the Associated Press and the Miami Sun-Sentinel are reporting that Pennington really did injure his ACL in a pickup basketball game on Thursday. Hooray!
Seriously, I do wish Pennington the best possible recovery, but I really, really hope he takes the hints his body is trying to send him and hangs up his cleats for good. The Miami Dolphins don't need his help; they are already bad enough without him on their roster.
Comments (1)| Leave a Comment | Tags: april fools chad pennington dolphins football friends holidays nfl randy
The ink is barely dry on the 2010 NFL season, and the 2011 still doesn't even have any players. That's not stopping NFL.com from giving us a metric by which to determine which fantasy players to draft for next season. Based on opponent passing defenses in 2010, Michael Fabiano, the "Fantasy Editor" for NFL.com, predicts that Chad Henne will have the opportunity to post the second best year of all NFL quarterbacks 2011, at least so far as fantasy scoring goes.
I don't typically note this sort of bullshit, but I'm committing this to the blog so that when Henne (or Pennington or whatever loser is the Dolphins starting QB in 2011, if there even is a 2011 season) starts making opposing defenses look like the '85 Bears, I'll be able to look back and giggle through my tears. It doesn't matter how bad the opposing defense is when our offense is worse. I look forward to the complaints from the fantasy owners duped into selecting Chad Henne in 2011. Poor suckers.
Comments (2)| Leave a Comment | Tags: chad henne chad pennington dolphins dolphins quarterbacks suck football nfl
Have I mentioned that I am pulling for a lockout in the NFL next season?
After failing to recruit another head coach, Dolphins majority owner Stephen Ross re-signed coach Tony Sparano -- who is responsible for 2 consecutive 7-9 seasons -- to a 2-year contract extension. Both of the Dolphins' starting running backs are free agents, and at least one will not return. The Dolphins' first string quarterback was among the worst in the NFL in all statistical categories in 2010. Despite being snapped like a twig on his first play in 2010, "Noodle-Arm" Chad Pennington is promising to make a comeback next season, stealing a roster spot from a potentially useful player. And now our departing Offensive Coordinator who thought it would be a good idea to throw on a majority of our plays despite producing the worst team passer rating in our conference, has been replaced with some shmuck named Brian Daboll.
Daboll was the Offensive Coordinator for the Cleveland Browns. He lost his job because every coach in Cleveland is getting fired following their second consecutive 5-11 season. But that's not the whole story. To give you an idea how good Daboll must be at his job, take a look at the Brown's stats compared to the other 31 NFL teams from 2010:
- 20th in rushing yards per game. The Dolphins were 21st.
- 29th in passing yards per game. The Dolphins were 16th.
- 29th in total yards per game. The Dolphins were 21st.
- 31st in total points per game. The Dolphins were 30th.
Of all the coaches in the League, we hired not only one who was worse than we were, but one of the worst in the entire League? Of course all of those numbers do rank as improvements over the Brown's success in 2009, Daboll's first year with the team. In 2009 the Browns ranked 32nd of 32 teams in passing yards and total yards. I suspect that we could have hired a ball boy with better coaching skills.
The only thing that can make this all make sense is if Ross is planning on positioning the team to draft Andrew Luck of Stanford. Luck is projected to be the number one pick in the NFL Draft when he graduates from college next season. I sure hope that kid looks good in aqua and orange.
Comments (2)| Leave a Comment | Tags: 2011 sucks andrew luck brain daboll chad pennington coaches dolphins football nfl stephen ross tony sparano
If you're been around awhile, you may have read one of my many rants against Chad Pennington here before. (Need a refresher? Look Here.) Well, it finally looks like the Dolphins will be rid of Mr. Noodle Arm forever.
After a tumultuous week in which Pennington (drafted in 2000), who signed a one-year contract to be a backup quarterback with the Dolphins in March for $2.5 million, was named the starting quarterback over Chad Henne (drafted in 2008), Pennington was injured in Sunday's game versus the Titans. After attempting a 5-yard pass. On the very first play from scrimmage. In his throwing shoulder. The same shoulder that ended his season in 2004. And 2005. And 2009.
So with any luck, we're through with the quarterback who lost his ability to throw more than 20 yards down field sometime before Chad Henne even entered college. But don't fear for Pennington: since his injury was on the first offensive play of the game, it triggered a contract rider paying him $3.25 million more. So Pennington will be paid $5.75 million for the two snaps he played this season, or $2,875,000.00 per snap. Ugh.
But wait, it gets worse! Later in the same game that claimed Chad Pennington, Chad Henne was struck down with a knee injury that may keep him on the sidelines for weeks! The Dolphins have somehow angered the football gods!
With only two days until tomorrow night's game against the Chicago Bears, the Dolphins are now scrambling for quarterbacks. Yesterday the Dolphins signed Patrick Ramsey, 2002 first-round pick mega-failure for the Washington Redskins. After years of under-performing, Ramsey was traded from the Redskins to the Jets in March 2006, where he failed to beat two-time shoulder injury survivor Chad Pennington for the starting job and was cut. Never one to say "die," Ramsey has played for the Broncos, Titans, Lions, Saints, and Jaguars while waiting for his opportunity to finally replace Pennington.
Bonus trivia: Ramsey will be the third of the first four quarterbacks drafted in the 2002 NFL Draft to play for the Dolphins. The only stand-out in that elite group is mega-failure David Carr, currently the third-string quarterback for the 49ers. The first to sign with Miami was mega-failure Joey Harrington in 2008. The Dolphins have also previously signed Josh McCown, the fourth quarterback taken in 2002, who was cut from the team to make room for... Chad Pennington. Note that prior to Ramsey, the Dolphins considered signing J.T. O'Sullivan as a potential Pennington replacement, but since he was taken relatively late -- sixth-round -- in the 2002 Draft, he was presumably not a big enough failure to sign. The only other quarterback taken in the 2002 Draft still active is David Garrard, who has been the starting quarterback for the Jacksonville Jaguars since 2007, and is the only QB from 2002 who can't be considered a failure.
Rumor has it that we worked out Oakland Raiders' mega-mega-failure JaMarcus Russell earlier in the week. Russell (drafted in 2007) was run out of Oakland on a rail earlier this season after three years where he was paid $5,586,000 million for each of the 7 games that he won during that time. That sounds like a quarterback that the Dolphins' management should be considering.
Meanwhile, I suspect that somewhere, minor-failure quarterback Pat White, the Dolphins' second-round pick in 2009 who was cut from the team in September after being paid nearly $2.4 million for only one year of play, is very disappointed with his agent.
This post is a little late, but I've had a busy weekend. Saturday night I attended the first University of Georgia football home game vs South Carolina. I was excited because I love night games, and the game had a 7PM kickoff. If I had known before hand that the game was going to take over 4 hours to play, I'm sure that would have dampened my enthusiasm somewhat.
Two things slow down a football game: scoring and penalties. And this game had both in spades. Thirty one points were scored in the first quarter alone. There were 24 penalties called in the game, 11 for us and 13 for them, for a total of 206 yards. Six of those penalties resulted directly in first downs. But we won, so I'd be a fool to complain. Besides, the game had just about everything else you could ask for: special teams touchdowns, long runs, long passes, blocked kicks, goal line stands, shouting matches between the coaches, last second drama. It was a good game.
I would not call Sunday's match up between the Miami Dolphins and the Atlanta Falcons a "good game." The Dolphins flat out stunk. Sure, this was the first game of the season for both teams. The Georgia Dome, even when not full to capacity, can be a pretty hostile environment to opposing teams ("loud" is an understatement). But that's no excuse for four (4!) Dolphins turnovers and an anemic... well, everything. Just two years ago I watched an entire season in which the Dolphins won only 1 football game, and even then they couldn't even aspire to this level of ineptitude. I have a name for this level of failure: Pennington.
If you've been paying attention, you'll know that I've railed against Chad Pennington before. (On August 11, 2008, and January 4, 2009, to be exact.) While I have grown to admire his never-say-retire-while-they're-still-throwing-money-at-me attitude, his weak arm and failing body have hurt us in the past just as they cost the Dolphins any chance at winning today.
Watching the team warm ups, I noticed that Pennington's longest warm-up pass was exactly 15 yards. Pennington's longest pass of the day was almost exactly 20 yards in the air. My brother was quick to point out that on that pass, Pennington took three big steps forward before heaving the pass, and the ball still wobbled like a lame duck.
On the upside, on rookie Pat White's first play in a regular season NFL game, he heaved the ball an impressive 40 yards, overthrowing the fastest Dolphin receiver deep down the field. My brother went berserk, amazed that Pennington could launch the ball so far. He was heartbroken when I explained that Pennington had been replaced for that down with another quarterback. Though come to think of it, he may have just been upset that the coaches immediately put Pennington back in and never let White throw again during the game. In any case, at least it's good to know that there's someone on the team who can throw the ball, even if the coaches are determined to keep him off the field.
I should mention that these football games were the second and third sporting events that I attended this week. I also watched the Gwinnett Braves (AAA affiliate of the MLB Atlanta Braves) lose a playoff game 0-3 on Wednesday night. The Braves would go on to lose the series, and after watching them play in person, I'm not surprised.
The picture below gives a pretty accurate indication of the turnout for the game against the Scranton/Wilkes-Barr (Pennsylvania) Yankees (AAA affiliate of the MLB New York Yankees). There were just enough people in attendance that team mascot Chopper the Groundhog was able to annoy everyone in attendance personally, one at a time.
Why a team named the Braves would have a groundhog for a mascot is explained only once you realize that the main thing that Gwinnett County has of any name recognition is a number of large shopping malls, and they make lousy mascots. General Beauregard Lee, the groundhog at Gwinnett's Yellow River Game Ranch is the state of Georgia's "Official" predictor of spring arrival. We don't care for Pennsylvania's Punxsutawney Phil in these parts, especially if we're going to get beaten by Phil's state baseball clubs.
Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: athens atlanta baseball braves chad pennington dolphins dolphins quarterbacks suck falcons football georgia georgia dome gwinnett photomosaic sanford south carolina sports trey