After only three weeks of play, the Miami Dolphins are the last undefeated team in the American Football Conference of the NFL. I wouldn't crow about that except that A) I don't expect that to last much longer, and B) the last time the Dolphins were the last undefeated team in their conference was 1995!

Only one team in the Super Bowl era has run the entire table and ended the season undefeated. That was, as you no doubt know, the Miami Dolphins in 1972, exactly 50 years ago. So think of the current streak as an anniversary celebration.

For the record, there have been exactly three other teams in the history of the NFL to win every game in the season; all of them lost their championship game, including the 2007 Patriots who fell victim to David Tyree's "Helmet Catch." Interestingly, before the NFL introduced a championship game in 1934, there were also four teams that went undefeated for their entire season. While none of them had a championship game to lose in, none of them were undefeated, either. All four of those had at least one tie. (Yes, there will be a quiz later.)

Will the Dolphins make the Super Bowl? The odds at this point aren't great. The last time the last undefeated team in the League even made the Championship game was the aforementioned 2007 Patriots. But the Dolphins haven't made the postseason since 2016, and they haven't won a postseason game since 2000, so I'll be happy just to get that far this year.

It's kind of nice to have something to cheer about on Sundays.

UPDATE 2022-09-30: Yeah, so, Tua's head. Oh, well. That's what I get.

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The Miami Dolphins announced this weekend that they'll be wearing throwback jerseys at least once this season. According to their official Twitter feed, the "uniforms will be unveiled and go on sale in July." They like to pretend that this is about honoring the team's 50th anniversary, but that "go on sale" line really tells you where they're coming from.

I expect the new "officially licensed" team apparel to be a pretty good seller, too. It was just 2 years ago that the team changed the uniform to one-color unitards of seafoam green or white. They coupled that with about the blandest logo that they could squeeze past style-impaired focus groups. Whatever these "throwback" jerseys look like, so long as they return the now defunct helmet-wearing dolphin logo, they're going to be an improvement.

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Found in the Julien's Auction catalog of "Property from the Life and Career of Burt Reynolds":

According to Reynolds in USA Today, he's selling off memorabilia he "does not have use nor room for" anymore. That includes this mid-90s Miami Dolphins helmet shell signed by Wayne Huizenga. (For those not in the know, Huizenga was the owner whose tenure oversaw the team transition from the winningest franchise since the NFL/AFL Merger to a mediocre also-ran. Hooray!)

As you can see, the estimated value of the helmet is $100, but bidding is already over $300! Who wants Wayne Huizenga's autograph that badly? My guess is some other Dolphins fan named Burt.

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From the Those Who Live In Glass Helmets Department:

Hit Comics #6, December 1940

Six months into his run, and the Red Bee finally realizes that his trained pet bee, Michael, is good for more than just disarming handguns. He can also disarm swords!

Bonus: Issue 6 also features the Red Bee's first super villain! That is if you can count wearing thick clothing and a bowl over your head as "super powers." Let's credit the Red Bee for knowing his place. If your main weapon is a single bee, your arch-villain should probably be someone who specializes in taking candy from babies at picnics.

For the record, the evil midget Kulak is defeated when Michael slips inside his glass helmet and makes him drop his electrically heated cattle prod on his own feet. This is after Michael has saved the Red Bee's life from those swordsmen and a topless strongman named Rog and before Michael leads the Red Bee out of the villain's lair as it burns down around them. I'm beginning to suspect that Michael isn't the sidekick in this relationship.

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We probably should have seen it coming. After the injury-plagued season the Bulldogs have had in 2013, it shouldn't surprise anyone to see Senior quarterback Aaron Murray be carried off the field of his final home game with a knee injury.

Otherwise, the game was all Georgia. Kentucky never put up anything amounting to a fight in this 56-10 rout. The biggest obstacle for the Dawgs was the cold. Boy was it cold!

The fans turned out despite the cold (and wind) to say goodbye to the departing seniors, including Aaron Murray. Poor kid. Friend Brian insisted on blaming Murray's knee injury on his decision not to slide on a play near the end of the first half with the score already out of reach. I prefer to blame a conditioning staff who have seen a disproportional number of kids in their care leave games with knee injuries this season. I'm no doctor, but when I see the top 6 offensive skill players miss playing time on the season with knee injuries, it seems to me that you're doing something wrong, guys.

(In fairness, there was a rule change this year that penalizes players for hitting helmets. I've heard that this has caused players to start tackling much lower, endangering knees. Maybe Georgia coaches have just been slow to adjust to this new style of defensive play. In any case, I expect better next year.)

Perhaps I should add that I overheard many fans lamenting the fact that UGA didn't wear black jerseys for the game. I didn't hear this rumor until the broadcasters discussed it on the pregame radio show. Who knows who started it. I'm glad the team wore their regular red jerseys. I don't think you should celebrate four years of hard teamwork by wearing someone else's jerseys.

With the 2013 home schedule in the books, I'd like to go on record as saying that this was probably the most talented Georgia team I've ever seen. If we hadn't been hit so badly by injuries, if the defense had managed to give up just one fewer touchdown per game, if the special teams hadn't played like retarded teams.... Oh, well. It was an exciting season anyway, with the game against LSU standing out as among the best I've ever seen in person.

Here's hoping that today's game won't be the last time we see Murray behind center for the Bulldogs. He'll be hard to replace.

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October is all-pink month in the NFL. Last night, the Cleveland Browns debuted their first ever "all-brown" uniform in honor of Jim Brown. The uniforms were all brown except for the pink shoes, gloves, and accessories. Even the ref's flags were pink. Good way to ruin the moment, NFL.

The pink is the NFL's way to promote Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I'd look like a misogynist if I complained about the tackiness of the NFL spray-painting everything pink, but that's why I have a mother. When she saw the NFL's commercial promoting the campaign, she wondered aloud what kind of woman needs to watch a bunch of fat men playing ball to be reminded to have a breast exam. I couldn't have said it better myself, Mom.

Naturally, I think this over-use of pink is counterproductive. If as an average fan I am used to cheering for my team colors, how am I likely to respond to an outside source forcing a change of my team's colors? Do you think that the average person is going to be more receptive or less receptive? If the current brouhaha over the government's implication of Obamacare is any indication, I think we can know the answer to that question.

The league won't prevent players from wearing helmets that it knows are deficient at stopping concussions that lead to long-term brain injuries, but it will dress all its players in pink to remind the women to take a look for lumps. To the NFL, boobs are more important than brains.

But then again, we already knew that, didn't we.

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Word on the Internet is that this is the new Miami Dolphins' logo to be unveiled later this year. As you can imagine, I'm not excited about this news.

Just look at that thing. Gone is our smirking, helmet-wearing dolphin leaping in front of the midday Miami sun. Instead we get a faceless creature swimming through a flaming hoop. It is bland, uninspired, utterly devoid of individuality, character, or anything interesting, just like the team itself.

Never mind. Maybe it's perfect.

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Finishing off the movies from September 2012:

223. Big Jake (1971)
John Wayne in a role that exemplifies why we love John Wayne. I loved the family dynamic of John Wayne, the last of the Old West heroes, telling his grown, estranged children what to do. I hated the fact that they rather violently killed a dog. Killing a beloved sidekick character? Joss Whedon must love this movie.

224. The Reluctant Astronaut (1967)
I have never much cared for Don Knotts. He plays just one character and I don't find that persona very entertaining. However, watching this film (with a straight-faced Leslie Nielson), I was struck that his schtick isn't much different from Kevin James' comic persona these days. Think about it: Don Knotts as Paul Blart: Mall Cop? I wonder how Kevin James would have gotten along in Mayberry.

225. What's Your Number (2011)
Romantic comedies like this are so formulaic, I don't really know why I watch them. Seriously, someone in an awkward romantic situation meets someone of the opposite gender in a very contrived situation. The fall in love while working to resolve the awkward situation. Then the protagonist does something stupid, driving a wedge in the budding relationship. Fortunately, some friends or situation points out the foolishness of the situation, and all live happily ever after. I guess that I, like most moviegoers, feel comfortable seeing new variations on familiar themes, and just keep consuming these movies like visual comfort food. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

226. Diner (1982)
Sometimes I can tell when I really liked a movie only when it sticks with me as time passes. I've thought a lot about Diner since I saw it, which is a pretty good indicator that I liked it. It reminded me of a less-serious Beautiful Girls, which I've always liked.

227. Doom (2005)
Stupid, pop-culture action movie. I watched it to prep me for Karl Urban's performance in...

228. Dredd (2012)
I covered this here. As I said, I liked it. Much smarter than Doom. Hard to believe that's Dr. McCoy scowling under that helmet.

229. Without a Paddle (2004)
How do movies like this get made? The situationally "comedic" plot is as thin as the direction. It's just a time waster. If the romantic comedy is the comfort food of movies, this is the fast food of movies.

230. Comanche Territory (1950)
Commanche Territory is the sort of film that gave Doc Brown the wrong idea about the American West in Back to the Future III. I watched the movie because the early meeting between the two male leads looked like it had the sort of sparkle that would make for a good time. The movie soon disappointed by devolving into a stock Western with dubious historical facts, weak action, and an unlikely romance. Oh well. They can't all be Fistful of Dollars.

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I suspect that I first met Judge Dredd when he and Batman shared an adventure in 1991's Judgement on Gotham comic book. Dredd, a character appearing regularly in British comics, was a tough cop struggling to maintain order in a post-apocalyptic future that is equal parts terrifying, satirical, and absurd. Dredd and Batman both share a righteous morality, a utility belt of awesome technology, and a complete lack of any sense of humor, but the two are on opposite ends of the empathy spectrum. Naturally, I was instantly enchanted.

One afternoon in late June 1995, I rode with my friend Mark in his antique truck to the Northlake 8 AMC movie theater in Tucker, GA to buy advance tickets for opening night for the Sylvester Stallone Judge Dredd film. I was a bouncing bundle of pure enthusiasm, and something about that experience in my history has always stuck in my memory. Sorry to say, my memory has lasted far longer than my enthusiasm did. The movie sets and costumes looked good, but beyond the surface, it just didn't turn out to have much to do with the character of Judge Dredd.

After all these years, I felt I owed it to the character to give his new movie, cleverly titled Dredd, a fair shake. I'm pleased to say that the new Dredd movie treats the lawman better this time around. I was the only person in the building at yesterday's 4:30 showing at Newnan's Carmike 10 theater, and I can tell you that 100% of the audience was enthusiastically entertained. I even applauded appreciatively when Karl Urban as Dredd finally yelled "I am the law" the proper way: with his helmet on.

The movie is a small, day-in-the-life action story about what it must be like to be the toughest cop in a very violent world. The limited scope of the story is far more suited to the absurdist crime-story millieu historically associated with the characters than its big-budget predecessor. And though the limited budget did result in more limited costuming and visual effects (no robots or flying cars!), it added to a more claustrophobic environment which should be expected in Mega-City One, population 800 million.

The film may not have restored the lost enthusiasm of my youth, but I did enjoy it and wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to anyone who likes gory, stylish action films about foreign comic book characters. You know who you are.

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During this year's annual beating courtesy of the University of Florida, the Georgia Bulldogs wore black helmets and black pants. To avoid the public humiliation of losing to Florida at the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party again (only 3 wins since 1989), we've taken to disguising ourselves as Division I-AA Grambling State University. Both the football game (final score UGA 17, UF 41) and the uniforms were unwatchable.

Please, never, ever, do that again Georgia. Ever.

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