43/2613. Up Periscope (1959)
A dull WWII movie with James Garner. For what it's worth, the dullness is not Garner's fault; there's just too much dead air masquerading as "suspense."

44/2614. L'Avventura (1960)
This is one of those movies that critics say you should see before you die, but reports say the first audiences to see it walked out on it. And they were right. Sure, it looks great and plays with some cinematic and storytelling structure concepts in unique ways, but the end result is that the audience spends two tense hours with some horrible people who know they are horrible people yet still being being horrible and resolving nothing. The ultimate lesson is don't do any of this. Not an enjoyable experience.

45/2615. Orion and the Dark (2024)
What can only be described as a Charlie Kaufman film for kids (because it is) has plenty of subversive surreality but has softened too much of Kaufman's uniquely signature metatextural navel-gazing for its younger audience. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad. It's just a lesser Kaufman work.

46/2616. Downhill Racer (1969)
Every possible sports cliche is in this action movie which is really a character study of the kind of damaged person who succeeds in the world of cutthroat sport. In hindsight, it's a very interesting counterpoint to The Candidate, which I'm sure is no coincidence as it was made three years later by the same director and star. Personally, I think The Candidate is Redford's best work (leveraging his charisma to make a point about the corrupting force of politics), but I admit that's because I prefer my satires sharp enough to draw blood. Your mileage may vary.

47/2617. T-Men (1947)
This is a crime drama procedural with noirish elements including most notably the beautiful chiaroscuro cinematography. I would argue that it's not quite true noir because the protagonist is a straight cop who walked into his noirish situation with eyes open, but that feels a bit like picking nits. Remember, kids: crime doesn't pay (but neither does being a cop).

More to come.

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Following up on yesterday's post about the S-shield on Superman's cape: it has never appeared on any of the Superman balloons in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.

I previously posted about the very first Superman parade balloon from 1940 back in November 2008. That original balloon, used for only one year and record holder as the tallest balloon until 1982, had a loose red cape that came down just to the seat of its pants. The second Superman balloon (a particularly ugly one with a round chest) debuted in 1966, and its cape was a little longer but just as solid red. The third Superman balloon, the largest balloon since WWII and the one I painted in 2020, entered the parade in 1980, and despite several mishaps, flew each year until 1987. This last one also had a solid red cape, though it was a horizontal "flying" pose, so the back was never seen from street level.

The parade balloons are expensive to create and fill with helium (though the people who walk them through downtown Manhattan are all unpaid volunteers), so it shouldn't come as a surprise that the balloons that make the annual cut are the ones that Macy's can make money on. That was true even in 1940, when Macy's had a sponsorship deal with National Periodicals to produce exclusive Superman merchandise, as you can see from this advertisement from page 21 of the May 16, 1940, edition of the New York Daily News:

If you look at those illustrations of Superman, the S-shield is clearly visible on his cape. However, the "playsuit" that Macy's sold to kids, not so much. It was just a solid red sheet with a comics-inaccurate blue drawstring. (The pants featured pictures of Superman around the waist, so comics accuracy was clearly not a big concern.)

For the record, the very first Superman to ever appear in a parade was Ray Middleton, who dressed the part as the Metropolis Marvel for "Superman Day" on July 3 at the 1940 New York World's Fair. The event was created to promote the New York World's Fair Comic 1940 Issue featuring Superman (and Batman and Robin!). In the comic, Superman very clearly has a shield on his cape, but Middleton's costume didn't. If the "real" Superman had a solid red cape, the kids at Macy's couldn't be too disappointed.

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Lately I've been playing Sniper Elite 5, a stealth shooter set late in World War II that gives players the goal of essentially killing as many Nazis as you can before they kill you. It's extremely cathartic.

I've played the previous entries in the series, and this is the first one to give you the option of sneaking up to humanely "pacify" an unaware enemy soldier by putting it to sleep. You're not materially rewarded for this, so why is it in here? To save me some ammunition? That's why the game gives me a knife!

Don't get me wrong. I certainly see the value in mercy and nonviolence, even in role-playing wartime video games. But I thought the point of setting your shooter against the Axis in WWII was that you could murder all the Nazis you wanted. Dead Nazis are the original guilt-free snack.

There aren't any noncoms or children, so what am I to make of this mechanic? Is the game trying to remind me that digital NPC Nazis are people too? I don't want that thought floating around my head while I'm trying to liberate virtual France; war isn't possible without dehumanization. I have noticed that the Nazi AI never chooses the "pacify" option when confronting me. Perhaps that's the moral here: He who hesitates to kill a computer-generated Nazi is lost.

Of course, it's also entirely possible that I'm overthinking this. Whether fighting Nazis, zombies, criminals, demons, or mutated Objectivists, sometimes a video game mechanic is just a video game mechanic. Pull the trigger, stupid.

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55/2487. Murder in the Fleet (1935)
You might think that a battleship would make for a tightly locked room murder mystery, but the bigger mystery might be how so many people got on-board this ship! Sadly, the reveal hinges on an insane killer who was only pretending to be sane earlier in the film. It feels like a cheat because it is.

56/2488. Bullet Train (2022)
There are several mysteries on board this Tarantino-inspired Brad Pitt action vehicle, the foremost of which is why are so many professional killers on the same train? Honestly, I found the plot and characters more satisfying than the action, which often feels too cartoonishly CGI. To be clear, I enjoyed it. A lot, actually. But the later it gets, the more outlandish it is, and as I've made very clear, my suspension of disbelief only stretches so far.

57/2489. Run & Gun (2022)
This is one of those low-budget Tarantino-inspired films that really doesn't know what it wants to be. There are a couple of clever ideas at the core of the script, but those are let down by the technical imitations of... just about everyone involved except maybe Richard Kind, who really acts as though he's in an entirely different movie.

58/2490. What Happens Later (2023)
Meg Ryan and David Duchovny are the stars of this could-have-been-a-play, but my favorite character is the magical PA announcer of the fantasy airport the protagonists are trapped in. The film is not as insightful or engaging as it wants to be, but it is charming.

59/2491. Masterminds (2016)
What was I doing in 2016 that I missed this movie? Zach Galifianakis, Owen Wilson, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, and Ken Marino in a comedy directed by Napoleon Dynamite's Jared Hess? Yes, please! I'm happy to report that it's exactly as stupid and funny as I wanted it to be.

More to come.

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54/2220. Stray Dog (1949)
I intentionally followed my viewing of Cats with this Akira Kurosawa writen/directed police procedural, which is a much better movie. Its only real flaw is a lack of actual dogs. The true subject is the directionless state of young men in post-WWII Tokyo, hence the allegorical title.

55/2221. The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh (1979)
Unlike Strange Dogs, I bumped into this by pure happenstance. I'm glad I did. The premise of a basketball team built on astrology is inherently silly, but that's the sort of film this is, and it dives in head-first (see: Jonathan Winters as a goofball team owner and his own evil twin brother.) Like most home aquariums, it's fun but not deep.

Coca-Cola is a performance-enhancing drug

56/2222. Carle Laemmle (2019)
The descendants of Universal Studios founder Carle Laemmle who participated in this documentary would have you believe that the man was a saint. Maybe he was, but it's hard to imagine that he united his competitors and defeated the Edison Motion Picture trust without at least having a iron-rod backbone.

60/2226. Burden of Dreams (1982)
The numbering on this one is out of order because I logged it late. Oops. But also pretty fitting considering the subject. In hindsight, I now know that this documentary was the explicit basis for the very silly 2-part 2022 Documentary Now episode "Soldier of Illusion." The lengths that Werner Herzog went through to make his Amazon River movie are terrifying.

57/2223. The Apple (1980)
The Apple is, without a doubt, the single greatest movie musical ever made about Adam and Eve as rockstars in a world dominated by the recording executive devil. The makers of Cats could learn a few lessons on how to do "bonkers" right.

There's a ton of Coke in this film, very little of which is bottled.

More to come.

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75/2084. The Beast Must Die (1974)
This which-one-of-these-people-is-the-werewolf movie feels like a made-for-television Hammer horror, and I mean that as praise. The movie literally takes a pause to allow you to make your guess before the big reveal, and I'm happy to say that I got it half wrong.

76/2085. Death Takes a Holiday (1934)
The anthropomorphic personification of Death at the center of this film is a complete ass, and that character deficiency casts an unpleasant pall over the rest of the melodramatic proceedings. I'm sure it makes a better stage play than movie.

78/2087. Dying for Chocolate: A Curious Caterer Mystery (2022)
Another Hallmark Movies and Mysteries original! This one was a little too easy owing to some early seemingly out-of-place exposition during a character introduction, but I'd rather have an easy puzzle than no puzzle at all.

77/2086. The Sapphires (2012)
A spoonful of sugar — or in this case, pop songs — makes the rather harsh medicines of racism, rejection, and death in the Vietnam War go down in this movie very loosely based on a true story. Yes, it's crafted to gather the widest mainstream appeal, but that works in its favor given the subject matter.

79/2088. Born to Sing (1942)
In this Saturday morning matinee kids' fare of the pre-WWII years, a crooked musical promoter steals an ex-convict's songbook then frames the kids who know the truth. The kids plan to turn the tables by putting on the show themselves in a disused Nazi fifth-column meeting house with the help of a gangster with a heart of gold. I wish it was as good as that sounds, but the closing musical number really got on my nerves.

80/2089. Spies in Disguise (2019)
This, on the other hand, is now be my favorite Will Smith-plays-a-pigeon movie. (Snark aside, it certainly doesn't hurt that Tom Holland's protagonist character is named "Walter." That kid has charm.) It's a spy-lampoon that knows what it's parodying and why.

More to come.

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70/2079. Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)
I think we should all just consider this the official sequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. All the toons are awesome, and thanks to >Roger, the script can skip explaining to the audience why they operate on a unique set of physical rules in a world of humans and just get on with the business of making stupid jokes.

71/2080. The Secret Land (1948)
This needed a better title. I'm already having a hard time remembering this is a contemporary documentary about a post-WWII military operation in Antarctica.

72/2081. Dear Evan Hansen (2021)
Yee-ouch. I had a hard time understanding how this plot even works on the stage. And all the critics were right: The plot is bad enough if Evan Hanson is played by someone who looks like a child, but it's unforgivable for an actor who looks ready for a mid-life crisis.

73/2082. Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022)
I love the deliciously low stakes of these Downton Abbey movies. Should we accept a house in France? Will the film crew scuff the floors? It's pleasant to be reminded that not everything is a life-or-death situation.

74/2083. Brother Nature (2016)
No offense to Bobby Moynihan and Taran Killam, but there wasn't a second of this anti-buddy comedy when I wasn't thinking, "In a perfect world, these parts would be played by Chris Farley and David Spade." Hey, man, I get it. We're all doing the best we can with what we've got.

More to come.

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Life's been rough lately. So time for some of my favorite escapism: movies.

162. (1816.) Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)
I actually enjoyed this sequel more than the original Ant-Man, though probably only because it hews a little closer to the silliness of the Silver Age comic books that inspired it.

163. (1817.) Holiday in Spain (1960)
This movie was originally called Scent of Mystery and was designed to be smelled as much as viewed. (In the original release, scented oil was pumped into the theater air to match what you were seeing on screen.) Like the worst 3D movies, the story is secondary to the gimmick and is probably worth viewing only as a novelty. ("See if you can guess what this scene is supposed to smell like!")

164. (1818.) This Land Is Mine (1943)
A poignant WWII tale made all the more pointed by its sympathetic portrayal of the fascists and those who would choose to support them. It does a great job of illustrating the corrupting evil of collaborationism with good intentions. I wish it wasn't relevant in today's world.

165. (1819.) The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years (1988)
A documentary (with some staged scenes) featuring the heavy metal bands in the Los Angeles music scene of the late 80s. It's like a real world version of This is Spinal Tap (a connection I'm sure was intended by the filmmakers). I loved it.

166. (1820.) Battle Circus (1953)
Humphrey Bogart is the chief surgeon falling for nurse June Allyson in a US Army MASH unit during the Korean War. Its strength isn't the romance but the many great scenes showcasing the difficulties facing the unit so near the front lines. If you like Altman's film or the television show, you should see this.

More to come.

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I haven't finished off movies from August yet? Gee whiz, I need to correct that.

118. (1177.) Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
I had only seen the centerpiece of this movie, the big fighting/dancing number at the barn raising, so I sat down to watch the rest. I should have stuck to the barn raising. It's the best part. Like all movies of its period, this musical is awfully chauvinistic, but at least it's colorful. But who can focus on sexual politics when there are bright colors on the screen, amiright?

119. (1178.) Nerve (2016)
I expected nothing from this YA thriller and therefore was delightfully surprised. It fits the genre nicely, with charismatic leads, some good thrills, and a ridiculously implausible ending. An enjoyable hour and a half.

120. (1179.) The Gallant Hours (1960)
I cannot attest to the accuracy of this biopic of WWII Admiral Bull Halsey, but James Cagney certainly makes it worth watching. He's another actor I don't think I appreciated enough as a younger man. The more cinema I watch, the better Cagney is.

121. (1180.) Duck, You Sucker (1971)
As you can probably tell from the name, Duck, You Sucker is Sergio Leone western. It's not nearly as good as The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly or Once Upon a Time in the West (mainly because it's just too long), but no one turns the myths of the legendary American West on their head like the Italian Leone.

More to come.

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My birthday threw off my blogging schedule a bit there, didn't it? Let's ease back in with this fist dose of movies watched in September.

77. (1015.) Thank God It's Friday (1978)
Holy crap, I enjoyed this far more than this deserved. Despite the inclusion of Jeff Goldblum, Debra Winger, The Commodores and Donna Summer (who gave the movie its Oscar-winning theme, Last Dance), the whole thing feels very amateurish in the best possible way. Utterly charming if you're in the mood for something frivolous and very, very 70s.

78. (1016.) Hellcats of the Navy (1957)
Ronald Reagan made a great submarine captain. At least, that's what this based-on-a-true-story movie needs me to believe. (It's no wonder that Reagan was able to play such a convincing president. It was a role he'd been groomed into for years.) So far as movies about submariners in WWII go, it's not bad, but that hardly makes it great.

79. (1017.) Any Number Can Play (1949)
I stumbled across this film by accident on TV and simply couldn't turn it off. Clark Gable is another of those actors I only learned to appreciate late in life (only after seeing his last film, The Misfits, in fact). He's on top of his game here and totally worth sticking around for.

80. (1018.) Grey Gardens (1975)
I'd heard so much about this documentary, but when I finally got around to watching it, I found I really couldn't stand it. The secret to any documentary is to make the subject matter (no matter how dull or esoteric) fascinating. In this case, all I felt was revulsion and pity. I only made it to the end with the aid of my fast forward button.

81. (1019.) Nothing Left Unsaid: Gloria Vanderbilt & Anderson Cooper (2016)
On the other hand, I had no idea that Gloria Vanderbilt had lived such an amazing life. She's like the 20th century's real-life Forest Gump. Amazing. Not surprisingly, the documentary made with the assistance of her most famous son glosses over a lot, but there's still so much to explore.

More to come.

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