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Apple proudly announced on Christmas Eve that North American children could follow Santa's sleigh via NORAD-approved applications on their iPhones and iPods (this in addition to Google Earth, OnStar, Facebook and Twitter updates, and old fashioned text messaging). Of course, this is an extension of www.noradsanta.org, a website created by the multi-national military North American Aerospace Defense Command, which is in a lot of ways just like G.I. Joe. Founded in response to the Cold War, NORAD is mandated to oversee North American airspace. Unlike millions of greedy amateurs, it is really NORAD's chartered mandate to keep an eye out for flying men in red coats who intend to rain down "gifts" on otherwise defenseless America and Canadian children.

We've come a long way since the 19th century when children actively sought to earn the approval of Father Christmas by sacrificing a goat. No wonder kids are so fat these days.

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To be continued...

 

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