Showing 1 - 10 of 30 posts found matching keyword: red bee

You know you've made it when you've got your own trading card.

Thought for the day: If you criminalized bees, only criminals would have bees.

Way to go, Red Bee! (And thank you, Kickstarter.)

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From the Nail in the Coffin Department:

February 23, 1942. The day the Bee died. A story so powerful, it wasn't told until 1984!

Having followed Uncle Sam and other heroes to Earth-X, the Red Bee immediately found himself in battle versus the Japanese military . . . in sunny Santa Barbara, California. Because Japs are bastards.

Each of the heroes had something to contribute to the fight: Uncle Sam's strength, the Ray's speed, Human Bomb's explosions, Black Condor's racism, Phantom Lady's tits, Dollman's, er, dolls? And, of course, Red Bee's bees.

Obviously, we'd have won the war faster if our guns shot bees instead of bullets
All-Star Squadron #33, May 1984

The team decided to take the fight to the Japanese fleet offshore. Things went sideways pretty fast once the enemy rolled out their secret weapon: the armored super-soldier Baron Blitzkrieg. To no one's great surprise, the super-strong Nazi was more than a match for an entire swarm of bees.

Oh, sorry. Phantom Lady's got headlight.
All-Star Squadron #34, June 1984

After being tossed overboard by an errant explosion (thanks for nothing, Human Bomb), the Red Bee died at sea.

I did tell you this was his last appearance, right?

Ok, fine. He didn't drown. He was just biding his time for the perfect moment to make his triumphant return.

Meet my new sidekick, Mr. Two-by-Four!
All-Star Squadron #35, July 1984

Maybe "triumphant" is too strong a word.

That's going to leave a mark

Actually, his response was 'unnh'

Inspired by the Red Bee's noble death, Darth Vader Hourman freed his fellow captives and won the day. So in his own way, the Red Bee won World War II. Except that on this alternate Earth, World War II never ended, and the Allies and Axis are still fighting well into the 21st century. Way to make it count, Uncle Sam.

No one left behind. Except him.

And thus ends the tale of the Red Bee. If there's any lesson here, it's that training a bee to sting people doesn't make you a super hero. Being beaten to death by Nazis does.

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From the One Foot in the Grave Department:

Today is a sorrowful occasion. It marks the anniversary of the next-to-last day in the life of the Red Bee.

When we last saw our hero, he was fighting drug thieves. As a reward for his efforts, he was invited to the inaugural meeting of the All-Star Squadron!

This was before Batman switched to decaf
All-Star Squadron #31, March 1984

That's him there, drinking coffee between the Human Bomb and Smilin' Batman™! They were just some of the many, many heroes who attended, including Sandman and his sidekick Sandy, Sargon the Sorcerer, Spectre, Speedy, Star-Spangled Kid, Starman, Stripesy, and Superman, just to name the "S"s. (Shining Knight was invited but couldn't make it. I'm not kidding.)

Seating for the event wasn't alphabetical; it was arranged by gimmick. Red Bee was given a seat beside Black Condor, because they are both color/animals. Or maybe because no one else wanted to sit beside the guy in the see-through blouse or the guy in the blue dickie. (Something tells me those guys wore a lot of perfume.)

Is he pointing at what I think he's pointing at?

The agenda for the meeting — set by none other than Franklin Delano Roosevelt himself! — was to discuss how the heroes could help the War Effort. That topic was sidetracked pretty fast when the living embodiment of the American spirit, Uncle Sam, crashed the party and asked for help on an alternate Earth where the Nazis were doing even better than they were here. Which, frankly, was pretty good.

This being a comic book, several of the heroes felt it was their duty to go save an alternate Earth. That seems like a pretty strange decision to make just two months after Pearl Harbor, but sometimes you've just got to drop everything to go punch Nazis.

'Earth-X' is something writers write two minutes before their deadline
All-Star Squadron #32, April 1984

Obviously, Red Bee, champion of the poor and trainer of bees, chose to follow his Uncle Sam to war. He always was braver than he was smart. Given that I already told you that today was his next-to-last day alive, you can probably guess what's coming next.

Tune in tomorrow for the Red Bee's last stand!

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Start the year right with your very own RED BEE trading card!

Ok, so it doesn't exist yet. But thanks to Kickstarter, it will! And it will be mine! Oh, yes, it will be mine.

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From the Bug on Windshield Department:

Criminals are stealing drugs intended for American soldiers overseas. While this might seem to be a federal crime, Superior City assistant district attorney Rick Raleigh is keen to get involved. It's for the troops!

Wait, did you just punch Micheal?
Hit Comics #24, October 1942

The rest of the adventure is pretty predictable. The Red Bee slugs some people, gets knocked out, wakes up and slugs some more people, gets knocked out, and wakes up and slugs even more people. While that may seem like an oversimplified way to solve problems, I'm pretty sure it's an accurate description of how we won World War II.

April Fools!

April fools! The Red Bee does NOT return in the next or any future issues of Hit Comics. Next issue, he will be replaced by the debut of Kid Eternity, a ghost child assisted by the spirits of dead famous people. That's a way better power than a trained bee.

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From the This Whole Damn Court Is Out of Order Department:

This is the 23rd appearance of the Red Bee. Like all comic book characters, the longer they're around, the darker they get. This story could have been written by Frank Miller.

The episode opens with lawyer Rick Raleigh's closing arguments in the murder trial of Joe Phillips. The jury returns a guilty verdict. Hooray! Raleigh has taken another slimeball of the streets. Or has he?

From his prison, Joe tells his girlfriend Jean that he's been framed by the Gordon Gang. Joe claims that the gang wanted him to roll over on some of his wealthy friends, and refused. It was really the Gordon Gang who robbed the bank, committed a murder, planted the money in his home, and told the cops where to find it. This might sound more plausible if Joe had mentioned this to someone, you know, during the trial.

To test the truth, Raleigh does what any good lawyer would do: he puts on a diaphanous blouse and domino mask and enters Fight Club. When that doesn't get results (surprise, surprise), Raleigh next employs the talents of his friend, Mac, the "expert lip reader" to, well, read lips. This somehow works. Because this is a comic book.

Satisfied that Joe is innocent, the Red Bee goes on the warpath. He beats up most of Gordon's goons while his trained bee, Micheal, murders the rest.

Murder Is Spelled with a Bee
Hit Comics #23, August 1942

That bee is going to need a good lawyer.

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From the Bee Something, Say Something Department:

Mobster Casey wants in on Franco's silk-thieving operation, but Franco is having none of it. Under interrogation by the Red Bee, Casey's henchman reveals that Casey blew up the warehouse housing Franco's stolen goods with the intention of framing Franco for blowing up his own ill-gotten gains.

If Casey is guilty of anything here, it's stupidity.

This guy has one trick, so why does the mob keep falling for it?
Hit Comics #22, June 1942

Armed with this knowledge, the Red Bee passes the secret semaphore code to sneak into Franco's hangout where he finds (dun-dun-DUN) silk. Franco catches the Bee in his dirty laundry and knocks his brains out. When the Red Bee wakes up, he calls someone named Clancy and invites him over. Soon Clancy's mob is fighting with Franco's gang.

And thus Superior City is saved. I guess? Except, what happened to Casey, the guy who blew up the warehouse in the first place? And why blow up a warehouse to frame a thief when you could just turn him in for theft?

Maybe a six-page comic book story isn't enough time to actually explain a crime of this magnitude. If solving crime was easy, we wouldn't need the Red Bee!

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From the We've Been Here "Bee"-fore Department:

As America entered WWII, Hit Comics cut back to a bi-monthly schedule. It also cut back on it's villains. In issue Twenty-One, Red Bee shows up to confront yet another in a never-ending string of protection rackets. Apparently, the shops in Superior City were very, very fragile.

Guns don't kill people. They don't kill bees, either.
Hit Comics #21, April 1942

If there is a highlight in this adventure, it's "gun moll" Mae Floss. She doesn't get a lot of time on panel, but she does makes the most of it. Smooching, feigning distress, knocking the hero out with her purse: she squeezes more into her four panels than most Red Bee antagonists get in an entire story!

Because if there's anything the Red Bee doesn't get, it's action

Since Miss Floss isn't seen after the Red Bee steers her getaway car into a brick wall, I like to think she escaped and will return to menace him again in the future. She'd make a good recurring villain for the Red Bee. It takes a special kind of man to train bees to sting on command, and that kind of man has no use for women. Who can blame him? We all know it's impossible to train a woman to do anything on command.

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From the Going Down Department:

I'll give this to Superior City: their criminals are inventive. The mob in Hit Comics #20 focuses their criminal extortion racket exclusively on elevator manufacturers.

Twenty people have died in three elevator failures in ten days, and only the District Attorney suspects foul play. The Red Bee has no intention of getting involved until the owner of the Skinner Elevator Company asks for help. We'll never know why Skinner didn't go to the police, as the "fat little man" soon becomes victim twenty-one.

Only the best henchmen are accepted into the elevator protection racket
Hit Comics #20, February 1942

The Red Bee only has six pages to solve this mystery, so it's a good thing that the elevator cable clipping hoods drive him straight to the palatial home of Albert Twist of the Twist Elevator Company. One punch loosens Twist's tongue, and he confesses to trying to ruin the business of his corporate rival.

Wow. I guess Skinner was right to go to the D.A. The police never would have figured that out. Thanks, Red Bee!

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From the Girls Have Cooties Department:

In this adventure, the Red Bee goes after car thieves. He's joined on this mission by one Valerie Ransome, the latest in a growing trend of plucky young women who are better at the Red Bee's job than he is. Valerie has had her new-to-her used car stolen, and is itching to get into action.

You do remember you have a gun, right?
Hit Comics #19, January 1942

Valerie leads Red Bee to the Acme Garage, where they find the owner cleaning out his own business. His used cars are stolen, and he's willing to murder the District Attorney to ensure no one ever finds out. So far as Red Bee villains go, this is a pretty solid plan.

Our hero foils his plan, steals a motorcycle, and for no apparent reason takes Valerie along on a high-speed chase to capture the oxymoronic no-good used car salesman and his gang. In the big finish, Valerie picks up a stick and wades into the melee, saving the Red Bee's bacon. Does this bit of bravado earn her a peck on the cheek? No, of course not.

Taking a car full of crooks to the cops is woman's work!

"Now scram, Valerie. I've only got eyes for bees!"

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To be continued...