No, I did not forget about yesterday's post. I was just too depressed to write. Two thousand-twelve is shaping up to be the latest in a long series of disasters for the Miami Dolphins.

First, the Dolphins say goodbye to former first-round pick Chad Henne. Henne had been the starting quarterback for the last three years. But new team coach Joe Philbin decided that he could do better. In all fairness to Philbin, he probably can.

Second, the most-celebrated-free-agent-ever, Peyton Manning, tells the Dolphins that there is no way he would play for the team. This is despite the fact that Peyton already owns a house in Miami, and the Dolphins typically have ideal football weather for a non-domed stadium. It probably didn't help that the Dolphins management traded away the only deep-threat receiver on the roster while they were in the process of trying to woo Peyton. If you aren't sabotaging your own plans, you aren't a member of Dolphins management.

Third, Matt Flynn signed with the Seahawks. Flynn is the back-up quarterback who stepped into Philbin's system in Green Bay and proved that starter Aaron Rogers isn't the source of the Packer's powerful offence. In their infinite wisdom, the Dolphins' management figured that since Flynn's former quarterback coach Philbin was now the Dolphins' head coach, signing Flynn would be a slam dunk. So they simply refused to offer Flynn the contract he was asking for. If anyone ever asks you how to sign a free agent, be aware that the answer is not "don't give him what he wants."

Now the Dolphins are stuck with journeyman Matt Moore as the only quarterback on the roster. Surely, the team is hoping either to land whichever quarterback is dislodged by the winner in the Peyton Manning sweepstakes (either Alex Smith or Tim Tebow) or to find Texas A&M's Ryan Tannehill available to be selected 8th in April's draft. Given their track record, I expect them to screw those options up as well.

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Do you remember how excited I was that there was going to be no NFL football in 2011 because of the lock-out and how that meant that I wouldn't have to watch the Dolphins suck in 2011? Boy, I could use some lock-out now.

Dolphins update: Chad Henne was placed on Injured Reserve yesterday, meaning that he is done playing for the season. The team signed Sage Rosenfels to back-up new starter Matt Moore. Most of you have probably never heard of at least 2 of those 3 players before the previous sentence. Welcome to the Miami Dolphins 2011!

If it seems that I run a "dolphins quarterbacks suck" post almost every year, it's because I do and they do, too. Henne joins Chad Pennington as the second Dolphin quarterback from 2010 who is broken for 2011. Rosenfels was a starter for the Dolphins in 2005, and was cut by the New York Giants on Tuesday, because he had been too sick to play all preseason! Rosenfels was chosen over such luminaries as Trent Edwards, who has missed more games due to injury in his career than he has started, and Brodie Croyle, who couldn't make the roster of the Indianapolis Colts after they realized that they only had one quarterback on their roster that wasn't Peyton Manning. We're so bad that Jake Delhomme, a quarterback so unreliable that he is unwanted by 31 of 32 NFL teams, wouldn't even entertain the idea of playing for us. Matt Moore, a cast-off from the NFL's worst team in 2010 will be our 16th starter in the past 12 seasons. Hurray?.

The NFL season is only 1/4 over, and already pundits are suggesting that the Dolphins are playing for last place in the hopes of drafting Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck first overall in the 2012 NFL Draft. Luck is often compared favorably to Peyton Manning, the first overall pick of the 1998 draft for the Indianapolis Colts. It's not that I think Luck isn't good, it's more that I think the Dolphins wouldn't take him if the opportunity arises.

The last time that the Dolphins had the first overall pick, way back in 2008, they took an offensive lineman first overall. Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco were the first two quarterbacks taken in 2008, and both have proven themselves admirably in the years since. Of course the Dolphins took Chad Henne with their third pick in the 2008 Draft. That leads us back to today, where the Dolphins need a lot more than just a little Luck.

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So DC Comics has turned Batman into a gun-toting thug, and the Georgia Bulldogs have started this season off with the same dismal performance we've come to expect from Offensive Coordinator Mike Bobo. Could Batman and Football Month get worse? In a word: yes.

The Miami Dolphins will kick off the 2011 season a week from today against the New England Patriots. Traditionally, the Dolphins have held their own against the Patriots. However, this year things look bleak. To sum up the Miami offseason:

• Head coach Tony Sparano was unofficially fired then re-hired with a raise when team owner Stephen Ross couldn't convince his intended replacement to come to Miami.
• Both running backs from last year were not offered contracts to return to the team. The two backs were drafted one and two overall in different NFL drafts, but both were considered expendable by the Dolphins who instead plan to start an untested rookie drafted 62nd overall this year.
• The Dolphins' starting quarterback, Chad Henne, is so bad that the league's own media arm, NFL.com, recommends that you not take him in your fantasy draft unless 25 other starting quarterbacks -- or 168 other players -- have already been taken.
• A few months ago, the Dolphin's best receiver was stabbed by his wife and then publicly revealed he has mental illness. It begins to become obvious why Denver was willing to trade their star receiver who owns several NFL game receiving records, none of which have been set as a Dolphin.

I'd like to think up a list for the positives as we head into the season, but the only thing that comes to mind is the Dolphins signed Jason Taylor to a one-year deal. I like Taylor, but he has played only sporadically the past two years, and its unlikely he will make a significant addition on the field. Still, it's good to have at least one player to cheer for this year, because it's going to be a long, long season.

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The ink is barely dry on the 2010 NFL season, and the 2011 still doesn't even have any players. That's not stopping NFL.com from giving us a metric by which to determine which fantasy players to draft for next season. Based on opponent passing defenses in 2010, Michael Fabiano, the "Fantasy Editor" for NFL.com, predicts that Chad Henne will have the opportunity to post the second best year of all NFL quarterbacks 2011, at least so far as fantasy scoring goes.

I don't typically note this sort of bullshit, but I'm committing this to the blog so that when Henne (or Pennington or whatever loser is the Dolphins starting QB in 2011, if there even is a 2011 season) starts making opposing defenses look like the '85 Bears, I'll be able to look back and giggle through my tears. It doesn't matter how bad the opposing defense is when our offense is worse. I look forward to the complaints from the fantasy owners duped into selecting Chad Henne in 2011. Poor suckers.

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If you're been around awhile, you may have read one of my many rants against Chad Pennington here before. (Need a refresher? Look Here.) Well, it finally looks like the Dolphins will be rid of Mr. Noodle Arm forever.

After a tumultuous week in which Pennington (drafted in 2000), who signed a one-year contract to be a backup quarterback with the Dolphins in March for $2.5 million, was named the starting quarterback over Chad Henne (drafted in 2008), Pennington was injured in Sunday's game versus the Titans. After attempting a 5-yard pass. On the very first play from scrimmage. In his throwing shoulder. The same shoulder that ended his season in 2004. And 2005. And 2009.

So with any luck, we're through with the quarterback who lost his ability to throw more than 20 yards down field sometime before Chad Henne even entered college. But don't fear for Pennington: since his injury was on the first offensive play of the game, it triggered a contract rider paying him $3.25 million more. So Pennington will be paid $5.75 million for the two snaps he played this season, or $2,875,000.00 per snap. Ugh.

But wait, it gets worse! Later in the same game that claimed Chad Pennington, Chad Henne was struck down with a knee injury that may keep him on the sidelines for weeks! The Dolphins have somehow angered the football gods!

With only two days until tomorrow night's game against the Chicago Bears, the Dolphins are now scrambling for quarterbacks. Yesterday the Dolphins signed Patrick Ramsey, 2002 first-round pick mega-failure for the Washington Redskins. After years of under-performing, Ramsey was traded from the Redskins to the Jets in March 2006, where he failed to beat two-time shoulder injury survivor Chad Pennington for the starting job and was cut. Never one to say "die," Ramsey has played for the Broncos, Titans, Lions, Saints, and Jaguars while waiting for his opportunity to finally replace Pennington.

Bonus trivia: Ramsey will be the third of the first four quarterbacks drafted in the 2002 NFL Draft to play for the Dolphins. The only stand-out in that elite group is mega-failure David Carr, currently the third-string quarterback for the 49ers. The first to sign with Miami was mega-failure Joey Harrington in 2008. The Dolphins have also previously signed Josh McCown, the fourth quarterback taken in 2002, who was cut from the team to make room for... Chad Pennington. Note that prior to Ramsey, the Dolphins considered signing J.T. O'Sullivan as a potential Pennington replacement, but since he was taken relatively late -- sixth-round -- in the 2002 Draft, he was presumably not a big enough failure to sign. The only other quarterback taken in the 2002 Draft still active is David Garrard, who has been the starting quarterback for the Jacksonville Jaguars since 2007, and is the only QB from 2002 who can't be considered a failure.

Rumor has it that we worked out Oakland Raiders' mega-mega-failure JaMarcus Russell earlier in the week. Russell (drafted in 2007) was run out of Oakland on a rail earlier this season after three years where he was paid $5,586,000 million for each of the 7 games that he won during that time. That sounds like a quarterback that the Dolphins' management should be considering.

Meanwhile, I suspect that somewhere, minor-failure quarterback Pat White, the Dolphins' second-round pick in 2009 who was cut from the team in September after being paid nearly $2.4 million for only one year of play, is very disappointed with his agent.

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This post is a little late, but I've had a busy weekend. Saturday night I attended the first University of Georgia football home game vs South Carolina. I was excited because I love night games, and the game had a 7PM kickoff. If I had known before hand that the game was going to take over 4 hours to play, I'm sure that would have dampened my enthusiasm somewhat.

Two things slow down a football game: scoring and penalties. And this game had both in spades. Thirty one points were scored in the first quarter alone. There were 24 penalties called in the game, 11 for us and 13 for them, for a total of 206 yards. Six of those penalties resulted directly in first downs. But we won, so I'd be a fool to complain. Besides, the game had just about everything else you could ask for: special teams touchdowns, long runs, long passes, blocked kicks, goal line stands, shouting matches between the coaches, last second drama. It was a good game.

I would not call Sunday's match up between the Miami Dolphins and the Atlanta Falcons a "good game." The Dolphins flat out stunk. Sure, this was the first game of the season for both teams. The Georgia Dome, even when not full to capacity, can be a pretty hostile environment to opposing teams ("loud" is an understatement). But that's no excuse for four (4!) Dolphins turnovers and an anemic... well, everything. Just two years ago I watched an entire season in which the Dolphins won only 1 football game, and even then they couldn't even aspire to this level of ineptitude. I have a name for this level of failure: Pennington.

If you've been paying attention, you'll know that I've railed against Chad Pennington before. (On August 11, 2008, and January 4, 2009, to be exact.) While I have grown to admire his never-say-retire-while-they're-still-throwing-money-at-me attitude, his weak arm and failing body have hurt us in the past just as they cost the Dolphins any chance at winning today.

Watching the team warm ups, I noticed that Pennington's longest warm-up pass was exactly 15 yards. Pennington's longest pass of the day was almost exactly 20 yards in the air. My brother was quick to point out that on that pass, Pennington took three big steps forward before heaving the pass, and the ball still wobbled like a lame duck. The Falcons must also have been paying attention, as they didn't bother to cover any Dolphins deep, knowing that the ball would never go that far. As if that wasn't bad enough, every time Pennington dropped back to pass, the Dolphins receivers themselves generally aborted their routes to ensure that Pennington's passes could still reach them despite the fact that this prevented almost any chance of catching the ball past (or in most cases near) the first down marker. Thanks, Chad.

On the upside, on rookie Pat White's first play in a regular season NFL game, he heaved the ball an impressive 40 yards, overthrowing the fastest Dolphin receiver deep down the field. My brother went berserk, amazed that Pennington could launch the ball so far. He was heartbroken when I explained that Pennington had been replaced for that down with another quarterback. Though come to think of it, he may have just been upset that the coaches immediately put Pennington back in and never let White throw again during the game. In any case, at least it's good to know that there's someone on the team who can throw the ball, even if the coaches are determined to keep him off the field.

I should mention that these football games were the second and third sporting events that I attended this week. I also watched the Gwinnett Braves (AAA affiliate of the MLB Atlanta Braves) lose a playoff game 0-3 on Wednesday night. The Braves would go on to lose the series, and after watching them play in person, I'm not surprised.

The picture below gives a pretty accurate indication of the turnout for the game against the Scranton/Wilkes-Barr (Pennsylvania) Yankees (AAA affiliate of the MLB New York Yankees). There were just enough people in attendance that team mascot Chopper the Groundhog was able to annoy everyone in attendance personally, one at a time.

Why a team named the Braves would have a groundhog for a mascot is explained only once you realize that the main thing that Gwinnett County has of any name recognition is a number of large shopping malls, and they make lousy mascots. General Beauregard Lee, the groundhog at Gwinnett's Yellow River Game Ranch is the state of Georgia's "Official" predictor of spring arrival. We don't care for Pennsylvania's Punxsutawney Phil in these parts, especially if we're going to get beaten by Phil's state baseball clubs.

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Back on August 11 of last year, I lamented the Dolphins' signing of Chad "Limp-Noodle Arm" Pennington, worrying that he wasn't the right solution for the Dolphins long-term quarterback problems. And while in the interest of fairness, I must admit that Pennington was instrumental in leading the Dolphins to first-place in the AFC East following our 1-win season in 2007, it looks like I was right in the end. That's right, this is another "see, I told you so" blog entry.

Earlier today, the Dolphins lost to the Baltimore Ravens 27-9 in a dismal performance that showcased Pennington's weak arm. For the better part of 4 quarters, the Dolphins tried to push the ball downfield through the air. For our efforts, we were rewarded with 4 interceptions, more than half again as many as Pennington had thrown all season. These constant turnovers ensured that our season would end in another embarrassing loss to the Ravens, as it did in our last playoff exit in 2002.

Sure, you could blame our coaches, especially Offensive Coordinator Dan Henning, for calling so damn many passes. (Dan, your quarterback can't throw further than 15 yards with any accuracy. Just because your opponent leads the league in rush defense doesn't mean you should ask your quarterback to do the impossible.) If you were so inclined, you could praise the Baltimore Ravens for playing fantastic, ball-hawking defense. (After the game Ray Lewis proudly took credit for his team for creating turnovers. Ray, you wouldn't crow about taking candy from a baby, would you? Oh, right. Nevermind.)

But I won't do either of those things. I'm going to blame Pennington. I attacked Pennington when he was signed, and I'm not going to forgive him now. If anyone should have known better than to attempt some of those passes, it was Pennington himself. Once a Jet, always a Jet: now Pennington has brought a little of that late-season choke they specialize up in the Meadowlands down south to Miami. Thanks a lot, Chad.

Last week Pennington was named NFL Comeback Player of the Year for the second time. To be a two-time "comeback player," you have to go away twice first. Hopefully with this game, Pennington was sewing the seeds for his third such award.

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Football season is now fully underway.

The Bulldogs ran up their record to 2-0 against a surprisingly competent Central Michigan yesterday. It appears that they worked out all of the lingering kinks from week one: the "B" was painted the right color, the flag was fixed, and they even moved the "SEC" logos to the 25 yard lines -- someone must have worked overtime this week!

CMU played well in a 56-17 defeat, but were clearly overmatched for size, strength, and depth of talent. Besides, the Dogs played like they had a chip on their shoulder following last week's drop in the polls. Knowshon Moreno in particular looked fantastic, punctuating the day with a Superman-sized leap over a standing CMU defender during a long run in the third. (See for yourself here.) It certainly justifies all the fans wearing the "He Is (the) Man" (as in "Heisman Trophy") shirts featuring the letter "K" in the familiar Superman diamond.

Note: Before the game, I lamented to my brother that unlike our previous opponent, the Georgia Southern Eagles, the Central Michigan Chippewas did not parade a live version of their mascot around the field on a leash before the game.

Unfortunately, the start of NFL play found the Dolphins participating in more of the same from last year. I'm pretty sure that right now, in a head-to-head matchup, the Dawgs would win. You'll be pleased to note, loyal readers, that the downfall of the Dolphins was Chad Pennington's weak arm. As disappointed as I was by the loss, I'm always filled with a warm happiness when my predictions of doom and gloom turn out to be right on the money.

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Football season is almost here, and I'm struggling to decide whether I'll be able to cheer for the Miami Dolphins this year or not. I supported the team throughout last year's one-win debacle, but this weekend may have been the last straw: Bill Parcels signed Chad Pennington. That's right, THE Chad "I Can't Throw 20 Yards" Pennington who was CUT by the Dolphins' arch-rival New York Jets when they agreed to solve the Green Bay Packers' problem by taking Brett Favre off their hands.

It's not that I hate Pennington, I just don't see him as the answer to any of our many questions. He's old, his naturally weak arm is practically nonexistent after several operations, and he was unable to provide enough leadership in New York last year. The entire move smacks of cronyism. Who drafted Pennington for the Jets? That's right - Bill Parcels! (Again proving the old adage that it's not what you throw, but who you know!)

So now the Dolphins, who have started 12 different players at quarterback since Marino retired in 2000, will likely have a 13th. (Oh, Great Marino, why have you forsaken us?) And having a weak-armed, aging quarterback is unlikely to help the Dolphins' running game. When every player on defense knows that the ball can't go more than 20 yards downfield, they're unlikely to provide much room for the running-backs to maneuver.

With an unproven rookie, there was at least the illusion of hope. Pennington comes already loaded with the stench of loser. Phew!

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Yesterday, backup QB Sage Rosenfels replaced the starting quarterback for the Houston Texans followng an injury. Should Rosenfels start for the team next week, he will be the 6th ex-Dolphin quarterback to start for a team other than the Dolphins this season. (Daunte Culpepper for the Raiders; Gus Frerotte, Rams; Brian Griese, Bears; Joey Harrington, Falcons; Damon Huard, Chiefs; and Rosenfels.) Since Dan Marino retired following the 1999 season, the Dolphins have had 11 different starting quarterbacks in 8 seasons. Of those eleven, 2 remain on the Dolphins' roster (Trent Green on Injured Reserve and Cleo Lemon, our starter) and 2 have retired (Jay Fiedler and Ray Lucas). That leaves only 1 ex-starting Dolphin in a position to start for another team this season: A.J. Feeley, benchwarmer for Donovan McNabb of the Philadelphia Eagles. (Before Feeley was a starting quarterback for the Dolphins, he was the back-up to Donovan McNabb of the Philadelphia Eagles.) With Feeley riding pine behind an injury-prone McNabb, could I dare to dream that every active ex-starting Dolphin quarterback could start a game during the 2007 season?

The Miami Dolphins: spreading bad quarterbacking throughout the National Football League since 2000.

On a side note, Jason Garrett, one of the backup quarterbacks that appeared on a Dolphins roster in 2004 but who never took a snap for the team in a game, is now the Offensive Coordinator for the Dallas Cowboys, which has one of the best offenses in the League right now. So our starting quarterbacks weren't good enough to start for us, but they are good enough to start for everyone else, and our backup quarterbacks weren't good enough to take a snap for us but are good enough to engineer winning teams for other organizations. So the question becomes: why does everyone suck when they are a Dolphin? I'm not really sure I'm ready for the answer to that question.

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