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Twilight Saga completed. You may recall that I watched the first four back in March. Having all the other movies on my "150 in 2012" list, I knew I had to get the final one in under the wire. So I set out and paid to see the final chapter in a theater. (It's only the third movie I'd seen in a theater this year. Or the third in 5 years, depending on how big a deal you want to make out of it.)

289. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012)

Despite my compulsion, I was determined not to like it. My determination was quickly reinforced by the ridiculous "super-powered" Bella scenes and CGI baby at the start of the movie. Roger Corman used better effects than that.

My suspension of disbelief was further tested by the cozy, ivy-covered cottage in the woods that served as the lovenest of our teen-aged vampire protagonists. Who knew they had working power and running water deep in the forests of the Pacific Northwest? Is that what vampires do at night when they aren't sleeping: build cottages in the woods?

And I tried hard not to actually think about the story in this, the fifth installment of the Twilight movie franchise, because there isn't much of one. The new baby gets threatened so a bunch of vampires team up to... talk about it. Hooray! It'd be like watching C-Span if the Speaker of the House wore robes and sparkled.

Of course, despite all my problems with the film and the franchise, I still enjoyed the movie. It's probably the best experience of the bunch, with better pacing and heavy emphasis on super powers (often feeling similar to X-Men: First Class). It's a Grimm fairy tale in the truest sense, with plenty of gore and dismemberment. Fun, as they say, for the whole family.

Ultimately, I enjoyed my time in the Twilight. If that makes me a 15-year-old girl at heart, so be it.

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I beat my own record from February, and caught 33 new-to-me movies in March. The month started slow, but once mom went out of town and I had free access to the television, I was able to make up for lost time. I probably would've done better than that if I hadn't spent so much time on movies that I'd already seen.

It started with Back to the Future. I've seen that movie countless times. I own it. I can quote almost all of Marty McFly's dialogue in the entire film. Watching that film makes me happy, like a drug. Warning kids: recreational drug use always leads to trouble.

This time, the Back to the Future-roofie led me watch a movie I wasn't planning to watch. Because I like Back to the Future so much, I liked the new movie despite my expectations. And then I liked that movie's sequel. And the sequel's sequel and the sequel's sequel's sequel. Despite my best intentions, I just kept watching; Back to the Future had turned me into an addict for Twilight.

57. Twilight (2008)
61. New Moon (2009)
62. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
67. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)

Let me pause here and emphasize that this is not an April Fool's Day post. Seriously, I typically can't stand vampire stories, especially when they try to explain the creatures scientifically. Immortal creatures endlessly masquerading as high school students? I thought high school was bad enough living though it just once; I'd drink blood before I did it again.

Add werewolves to the story, and my interest should plummet further. Creatures who gain and lose incredible mass based on the phase of the moon? That's as believable as the Incredible Hulk. But it was from comic books that I drew the suspension of disbelief required to enjoy these films. A few conspicuously useful super powers used conservatively between a lot of talking about being outcasts? Vampire Edward Cullen and his clan are not significantly different than the X-Men.

More importantly, Twilight does something very, very right by way of Kristen Stewart in the role of *cough* Bella Swan. Insecurely hiding from attention, biting her fingers, chewing her lips, and sulking, she convinced me that she was a high-school student in love. It's endearing. Before the first movie was halfway over, I wanted that girl to end up happy, even if she has to become an undead bloodsucker to do it.

Can I recommend these films to anyone? Probably not. They are slow and self-indulgent. But I liked 'em, and for that I'm blaming Back to the Future: the gateway drug of the movie industry.

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To be continued...

 

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