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What man is that?
A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March.
Set him before me; let me see his face.
Fellow, come from the throng; look upon Caesar.
What say'st thou to me now? Speak once again.
I said, "Beware the COV-IDs of March!"
(draws a knife)
That pun was a tragedy!
(bleeding to death)
In hindsight, this social distancing idea could have some merit.
(gloating to soothsayer)
The ides of March are come.
(speaking truth to power)
Ay, Caesar; but not gone.
Well, I'm Caesar, and I say they are. Effective immediately, we're seasonally adjusting all the sundials forward one hour! Goodbye, Ides of March. Hello, Seventeenth Kalends of March!
What a huge improvement you've made, boss! Now I can enjoy an extra hour of gladiator fights at the Circus Maximus after work. You're not such a terrible tyrant after all! (sheaths his knife) Hooray!
This play sucks.
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