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Sunday 15 March 2020
What man is that?
A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March.
Set him before me; let me see his face.
Fellow, come from the throng; look upon Caesar.
What say'st thou to me now? Speak once again.
I said, "Beware the COV-IDs of March!"
(draws a knife)
That pun was a tragedy!
(bleeding to death)
In hindsight, this social distancing idea could have some merit.
Wednesday 15 March 2017
(gloating to soothsayer)
The ides of March are come.
(speaking truth to power)
Ay, Caesar; but not gone.
Well, I'm Caesar, and I say they are. Effective immediately, we're seasonally adjusting all the sundials forward one hour! Goodbye, Ides of March. Hello, Seventeenth Kalends of March!
What a huge improvement you've made, boss! Now I can enjoy an extra hour of gladiator fights at the Circus Maximus after work. You're not such a terrible tyrant after all! (sheaths his knife) Hooray!
This play sucks.
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