Showing 1 - 10 of 14 posts found matching keyword: dolphins quarterbacks suck

The Miami Dolphins have made the NFL playoffs! They play the Pittsburgh Steelers at 1PM EST on Sunday.

The last time the Dolphins played a playoff game was January 4, 2009. They lost that game 27-9. I'm not convinced that this year will be any better.

In 2009, the team lost mainly because NFL Comeback Player of the Year Chad "Noodle-Arm" Pennington threw four interceptions. That can't happen again, right? I mean, Pennington has long retired, but starting quarterback Ryan Tannehill is still out with a bum knee, leaving backup Matt Moore in his place. Moore has a fair arm, but he can be a bit reckless. Surely he won't be four interceptions worth of reckless. Right?

If the Dolphins do manage to get past round one — they did beat the Steelers 30-15 back in October — they'll head into a second week rematch against the New England Patriots. They've played the Patriots twice already this year, losing 31-24 (with Tannehill) and 35-14 (with Moore). Yeesh.

So go Dolphins! (And better luck next year!)

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All week long, Miami Dolphins' rocket scientist head coach Joe Philbin has refused to name the starting quarterback for Sunday's game against the Oakland Raiders (in London!). Tired of waiting for his coach to state the obvious, Ryan Tannehill went ahead and made the announcement for him.

I suppose that Philbin was trying to light a fire under Tannehill after a weak start to the season, but seriously, who else is he going to start? Matt Moore? Not only hasn't Moore started a game in 3 years, he wasn't healthy enough to play in the preseason.

Where else is Philbin going to find a new quarterback 4 days before kickoff? The NFL has flown mediocre — and that's probably too generous a term — teams from Miami and Oakland across the Atlantic Ocean for this glorified exhibition game, leaving any potential replacement quarterbacks stateside. Where in London can Philbin find a rocket-armed wife abuser at this late date?

Of course, this whole debate is moot. Even if Philbin had a replacement who could complete a pass, Mike Wallace would just drop it anyway.

Tannehill called your bluff, Philbin. Your move.

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I'm not the only one pissed off that the Dolphins have added 2012 to their string of inexplicably terrible off-seasons. There were protests outside of Dolphins headquarters yesterday after the Dolphins released Yeremiah Bell for "cap space." The protesters carried "Fireland" placards to suggest what they think of General Manager Jeff Ireland. (Personally, I assume the "F" stands for "fuck.") The Dolphins had plenty of room under the salary cap to recruit an injured, 36-year-old Peyton Manning, but not enough room to keep a healthy, 34-year-old Bell? Is it a coincidence that Bell is the only consistently competent player in the Dolphins' secondary? Ye gods, what is Jeff Ireland doing?

To make matters worse, the Dolphins are privately saying that they have no interest in Tim Tebow, or as we call him around here, "Touchdown Jesus." I suspect that this means that new coach Joe Philbin thinks that Tebow sucks, which means that Philbin and I are starting out on the wrong foot. Right now, Philbin has on his roster a quarterback not good enough to play for the worst team in the NFL in 2010, and a quarterback not good enough to play for anyone in 2011.

Surely, Tebow, who managed to motivate his left-for-dead-in-week-5 team into a playoff victory, has to be worse than those two quarterbacks, right, Joe Philbin? You sure would hate to have to build a team around a quarterback like Tebow, especially since you already have such a fine team now, right, Joe Philbin? We shouldn't point out that your former protege Matt Flynn pointedly chose to compete for a job in Seattle rather than start for you, should we, Joe Philbin?

Bah. The 2012 Dolphins are already starting to smell like dead fish.

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Sigh. No Manning, no Flyyn, no Smith.... and after allowing their starting quarterback of the past three years to run off to join the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Dolphins -- who at this point should rename themselves the Miami Desperations -- have signed David Garrard to a one-year deal. This is the same David Garrad who was unceremoniously cut by the Jaguars before the 2011 season then refused to sign with the Dolphins mid-way through the 2011 season either because the Dolphins wouldn't offer him enough money (Garrard's version of the story) or because he wasn't interested in playing professional football anymore (the Dolphins version of the story). In any event, the Dolphins and Jaguars have now essentially traded unwanted quarterbacks Henne and Garrard. Hooray?

This obvious mismanagement by the Dolphins is drawing fire from past players, who are publicly criticizing team General Manager Jeff Ireland. NFL.com reports players calling Ireland untrustworthy and disrespectful. The League's media arm also reminds us that Ireland asked much-hyped potential draft pick Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute in 2010 and tried to hire Jim Harbaugh as Head Coach without first firing Tony Sparano in 2011. We have a name for guys like Ireland, and that name isn't "winner."

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No, I did not forget about yesterday's post. I was just too depressed to write. Two thousand-twelve is shaping up to be the latest in a long series of disasters for the Miami Dolphins.

First, the Dolphins say goodbye to former first-round pick Chad Henne. Henne had been the starting quarterback for the last three years. But new team coach Joe Philbin decided that he could do better. In all fairness to Philbin, he probably can.

Second, the most-celebrated-free-agent-ever, Peyton Manning, tells the Dolphins that there is no way he would play for the team. This is despite the fact that Peyton already owns a house in Miami, and the Dolphins typically have ideal football weather for a non-domed stadium. It probably didn't help that the Dolphins management traded away the only deep-threat receiver on the roster while they were in the process of trying to woo Peyton. If you aren't sabotaging your own plans, you aren't a member of Dolphins management.

Third, Matt Flynn signed with the Seahawks. Flynn is the back-up quarterback who stepped into Philbin's system in Green Bay and proved that starter Aaron Rogers isn't the source of the Packer's powerful offence. In their infinite wisdom, the Dolphins' management figured that since Flynn's former quarterback coach Philbin was now the Dolphins' head coach, signing Flynn would be a slam dunk. So they simply refused to offer Flynn the contract he was asking for. If anyone ever asks you how to sign a free agent, be aware that the answer is not "don't give him what he wants."

Now the Dolphins are stuck with journeyman Matt Moore as the only quarterback on the roster. Surely, the team is hoping either to land whichever quarterback is dislodged by the winner in the Peyton Manning sweepstakes (either Alex Smith or Tim Tebow) or to find Texas A&M's Ryan Tannehill available to be selected 8th in April's draft. Given their track record, I expect them to screw those options up as well.

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Do you remember how excited I was that there was going to be no NFL football in 2011 because of the lock-out and how that meant that I wouldn't have to watch the Dolphins suck in 2011? Boy, I could use some lock-out now.

Dolphins update: Chad Henne was placed on Injured Reserve yesterday, meaning that he is done playing for the season. The team signed Sage Rosenfels to back-up new starter Matt Moore. Most of you have probably never heard of at least 2 of those 3 players before the previous sentence. Welcome to the Miami Dolphins 2011!

If it seems that I run a "dolphins quarterbacks suck" post almost every year, it's because I do and they do, too. Henne joins Chad Pennington as the second Dolphin quarterback from 2010 who is broken for 2011. Rosenfels was a starter for the Dolphins in 2005, and was cut by the New York Giants on Tuesday, because he had been too sick to play all preseason! Rosenfels was chosen over such luminaries as Trent Edwards, who has missed more games due to injury in his career than he has started, and Brodie Croyle, who couldn't make the roster of the Indianapolis Colts after they realized that they only had one quarterback on their roster that wasn't Peyton Manning. We're so bad that Jake Delhomme, a quarterback so unreliable that he is unwanted by 31 of 32 NFL teams, wouldn't even entertain the idea of playing for us. Matt Moore, a cast-off from the NFL's worst team in 2010 will be our 16th starter in the past 12 seasons. Hurray?.

The NFL season is only 1/4 over, and already pundits are suggesting that the Dolphins are playing for last place in the hopes of drafting Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck first overall in the 2012 NFL Draft. Luck is often compared favorably to Peyton Manning, the first overall pick of the 1998 draft for the Indianapolis Colts. It's not that I think Luck isn't good, it's more that I think the Dolphins wouldn't take him if the opportunity arises.

The last time that the Dolphins had the first overall pick, way back in 2008, they took an offensive lineman first overall. Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco were the first two quarterbacks taken in 2008, and both have proven themselves admirably in the years since. Of course the Dolphins took Chad Henne with their third pick in the 2008 Draft. That leads us back to today, where the Dolphins need a lot more than just a little Luck.

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So DC Comics has turned Batman into a gun-toting thug, and the Georgia Bulldogs have started this season off with the same dismal performance we've come to expect from Offensive Coordinator Mike Bobo. Could Batman and Football Month get worse? In a word: yes.

The Miami Dolphins will kick off the 2011 season a week from today against the New England Patriots. Traditionally, the Dolphins have held their own against the Patriots. However, this year things look bleak. To sum up the Miami offseason:

  • Head coach Tony Sparano was unofficially fired then re-hired with a raise when team owner Stephen Ross couldn't convince his intended replacement to come to Miami.
  • Both running backs from last year were not offered contracts to return to the team. The two backs were drafted one and two overall in different NFL drafts, but both were considered expendable by the Dolphins who instead plan to start an untested rookie drafted 62nd overall this year.
  • The Dolphins' starting quarterback, Chad Henne, is so bad that the league's own media arm, NFL.com, recommends that you not take him in your fantasy draft unless 25 other starting quarterbacks -- or 168 other players -- have already been taken.
  • A few months ago, the Dolphin's best receiver was stabbed by his wife and then publicly revealed he has mental illness. It begins to become obvious why Denver was willing to trade their star receiver who owns several NFL game receiving records, none of which have been set as a Dolphin.

I'd like to think up a list for the positives as we head into the season, but the only thing that comes to mind is the Dolphins signed Jason Taylor to a one-year deal. I like Taylor, but he has played only sporadically the past two years, and its unlikely he will make a significant addition on the field. Still, it's good to have at least one player to cheer for this year, because it's going to be a long, long season.

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The ink is barely dry on the 2010 NFL season, and the 2011 still doesn't even have any players. That's not stopping NFL.com from giving us a metric by which to determine which fantasy players to draft for next season. Based on opponent passing defenses in 2010, Michael Fabiano, the "Fantasy Editor" for NFL.com, predicts that Chad Henne will have the opportunity to post the second best year of all NFL quarterbacks 2011, at least so far as fantasy scoring goes.

I don't typically note this sort of bullshit, but I'm committing this to the blog so that when Henne (or Pennington or whatever loser is the Dolphins starting QB in 2011, if there even is a 2011 season) starts making opposing defenses look like the '85 Bears, I'll be able to look back and giggle through my tears. It doesn't matter how bad the opposing defense is when our offense is worse. I look forward to the complaints from the fantasy owners duped into selecting Chad Henne in 2011. Poor suckers.

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If you're been around awhile, you may have read one of my many rants against Chad Pennington here before. (Need a refresher? Look Here.) Well, it finally looks like the Dolphins will be rid of Mr. Noodle Arm forever.

After a tumultuous week in which Pennington (drafted in 2000), who signed a one-year contract to be a backup quarterback with the Dolphins in March for $2.5 million, was named the starting quarterback over Chad Henne (drafted in 2008), Pennington was injured in Sunday's game versus the Titans. After attempting a 5-yard pass. On the very first play from scrimmage. In his throwing shoulder. The same shoulder that ended his season in 2004. And 2005. And 2009.

So with any luck, we're through with the quarterback who lost his ability to throw more than 20 yards down field sometime before Chad Henne even entered college. But don't fear for Pennington: since his injury was on the first offensive play of the game, it triggered a contract rider paying him $3.25 million more. So Pennington will be paid $5.75 million for the two snaps he played this season, or $2,875,000.00 per snap. Ugh.

But wait, it gets worse! Later in the same game that claimed Chad Pennington, Chad Henne was struck down with a knee injury that may keep him on the sidelines for weeks! The Dolphins have somehow angered the football gods!

With only two days until tomorrow night's game against the Chicago Bears, the Dolphins are now scrambling for quarterbacks. Yesterday the Dolphins signed Patrick Ramsey, 2002 first-round pick mega-failure for the Washington Redskins. After years of under-performing, Ramsey was traded from the Redskins to the Jets in March 2006, where he failed to beat two-time shoulder injury survivor Chad Pennington for the starting job and was cut. Never one to say "die," Ramsey has played for the Broncos, Titans, Lions, Saints, and Jaguars while waiting for his opportunity to finally replace Pennington.

Bonus trivia: Ramsey will be the third of the first four quarterbacks drafted in the 2002 NFL Draft to play for the Dolphins. The only stand-out in that elite group is mega-failure David Carr, currently the third-string quarterback for the 49ers. The first to sign with Miami was mega-failure Joey Harrington in 2008. The Dolphins have also previously signed Josh McCown, the fourth quarterback taken in 2002, who was cut from the team to make room for... Chad Pennington. Note that prior to Ramsey, the Dolphins considered signing J.T. O'Sullivan as a potential Pennington replacement, but since he was taken relatively late -- sixth-round -- in the 2002 Draft, he was presumably not a big enough failure to sign. The only other quarterback taken in the 2002 Draft still active is David Garrard, who has been the starting quarterback for the Jacksonville Jaguars since 2007, and is the only QB from 2002 who can't be considered a failure.

Rumor has it that we worked out Oakland Raiders' mega-mega-failure JaMarcus Russell earlier in the week. Russell (drafted in 2007) was run out of Oakland on a rail earlier this season after three years where he was paid $5,586,000 million for each of the 7 games that he won during that time. That sounds like a quarterback that the Dolphins' management should be considering.

Meanwhile, I suspect that somewhere, minor-failure quarterback Pat White, the Dolphins' second-round pick in 2009 who was cut from the team in September after being paid nearly $2.4 million for only one year of play, is very disappointed with his agent.

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This post is a little late, but I've had a busy weekend. Saturday night I attended the first University of Georgia football home game vs South Carolina. I was excited because I love night games, and the game had a 7PM kickoff. If I had known before hand that the game was going to take over 4 hours to play, I'm sure that would have dampened my enthusiasm somewhat.

UGA 41, South Carolina 37

Two things slow down a football game: scoring and penalties. And this game had both in spades. Thirty one points were scored in the first quarter alone. There were 24 penalties called in the game, 11 for us and 13 for them, for a total of 206 yards. Six of those penalties resulted directly in first downs. But we won, so I'd be a fool to complain. Besides, the game had just about everything else you could ask for: special teams touchdowns, long runs, long passes, blocked kicks, goal line stands, shouting matches between the coaches, last second drama. It was a good game.

I would not call Sunday's match up between the Miami Dolphins and the Atlanta Falcons a "good game." The Dolphins flat out stunk. Sure, this was the first game of the season for both teams. The Georgia Dome, even when not full to capacity, can be a pretty hostile environment to opposing teams ("loud" is an understatement). But that's no excuse for four (4!) Dolphins turnovers and an anemic... well, everything. Just two years ago I watched an entire season in which the Dolphins won only 1 football game, and even then they couldn't even aspire to this level of ineptitude. I have a name for this level of failure: Pennington.

Miami 7, Atlanta 19

If you've been paying attention, you'll know that I've railed against Chad Pennington before. (On August 11, 2008, and January 4, 2009, to be exact.) While I have grown to admire his never-say-retire-while-they're-still-throwing-money-at-me attitude, his weak arm and failing body have hurt us in the past just as they cost the Dolphins any chance at winning today.

Watching the team warm ups, I noticed that Pennington's longest warm-up pass was exactly 15 yards. Pennington's longest pass of the day was almost exactly 20 yards in the air. My brother was quick to point out that on that pass, Pennington took three big steps forward before heaving the pass, and the ball still wobbled like a lame duck. The Falcons must also have been paying attention, as they didn't bother to cover any Dolphins deep, knowing that the ball would never go that far. As if that wasn't bad enough, every time Pennington dropped back to pass, the Dolphins receivers themselves generally aborted their routes to ensure that Pennington's passes could still reach them despite the fact that this prevented almost any chance of catching the ball past (or in most cases near) the first down marker. Thanks, Chad.

On the upside, on rookie Pat White's first play in a regular season NFL game, he heaved the ball an impressive 40 yards, overthrowing the fastest Dolphin receiver deep down the field. My brother went berserk, amazed that Pennington could launch the ball so far. He was heartbroken when I explained that Pennington had been replaced for that down with another quarterback. Though come to think of it, he may have just been upset that the coaches immediately put Pennington back in and never let White throw again during the game. In any case, at least it's good to know that there's someone on the team who can throw the ball, even if the coaches are determined to keep him off the field.

Tickets, anyone?

I should mention that these football games were the second and third sporting events that I attended this week. I also watched the Gwinnett Braves (AAA affiliate of the MLB Atlanta Braves) lose a playoff game 0-3 on Wednesday night. The Braves would go on to lose the series, and after watching them play in person, I'm not surprised.

The picture below gives a pretty accurate indication of the turnout for the game against the Scranton/Wilkes-Barr (Pennsylvania) Yankees (AAA affiliate of the MLB New York Yankees). There were just enough people in attendance that team mascot Chopper the Groundhog was able to annoy everyone in attendance personally, one at a time.

Scranton/Wilkes-Barr Yankees 3, Gwinnett Braves 0

Why a team named the Braves would have a groundhog for a mascot is explained only once you realize that the main thing that Gwinnett County has of any name recognition is a number of large shopping malls, and they make lousy mascots. General Beauregard Lee, the groundhog at Gwinnett's Yellow River Game Ranch is the state of Georgia's "Official" predictor of spring arrival. We don't care for Pennsylvania's Punxsutawney Phil in these parts, especially if we're going to get beaten by Phil's state baseball clubs.

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