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At this weekend's WWE Wrestlemania event ("the Super Bowl of wrestling!"), it has been announced that either WWE Owner/Operator Vince McMahon or Real Estate Tycoon Donald Trump will shear his hair off following a "Battle of the Billionaires" match. Unfortunately, we won't see Trump wrestle. Instead, representatives of each man will wrestle, the loser determining which billionaire's head is "shaved." (I put the word "shaved" in quotes like that because these hair vs. hair matches don't always take the hair down to the scalp. Usually, the winner just cuts off some long hair unevenly, then the loser goes to a proper salon and ends up with a fine looking hairdo. Hardly as dramatic as the billing would suggest. But then isn't that usually the case with wrestling?)
Now, we all know that Donald Trump is not going to lose his hair on a Vince McMahon promotion. (Unless Trump is in chemo or has lice and is looking for a way to profit from it. Which, I suppose, isn't impossible given the man's history, it's just so unlikely that it's practically impossible. Especially since the guest referee will be "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, McMahon's wrestling arch-nemesis.) But the announcement of this match seems to have caught the fancy of many a non-wrestling fan. The Associated Press recently ran a story about the match. CNN's poll question for today is "Would Donald Trump look better with no hair?" Most people say "no," which, when you think about it, sort of answers the question, "who thinks people look good with comb-overs?"
"Battle of the Billionaires," it's called. I looked it up. According to Forbes Magazine, Donald Trump makes the list of the top 100 richest Americans with a net worth nearing $3 billion. McMahon hasn't been worth more than $1 billion since his XFL flopped in 2001. That would make this the "Battle of a Billionaire and a Guy Who Will Lose His Hair." Maybe that's why there's no truth in advertising: truth is just so boring.