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Don't be alarmed, but the following picture was taken about a half mile from the Newnan city limits:

Talking turkey!

Those are wild turkeys. (One of the turkeys has been circled for you city folk who can't recognize turkeys with their feathers still intact.) They've been seen in the area near Country Club Road off and on for weeks. Technically, it is legal for the wild turkeys to loiter on this street corner, as it is outside of the city limits. Just because these turkeys are within their rights doesn't make them welcome, however.

These turkeys are less than a mile from the entry to the Newnan Country Club, "Newnan's only truly private country club." No Country Club patron wants those dirty turkeys loitering within sight of their immaculate tennis courts. Isn't eliminating that sort of unwanted element the very reason the Country Club is a members-only institution?

There's a reason we have a national holiday once a year in which all Americans are required to eat turkey, and this is it: to keep our wealthiest, most socially-exclusive citizens safe from the poultry underclasses that would lazily litter their lawns with their droppings. It's time for the county government to talk turkey and do something about this fowl situation. Government should work for the people, not these jive turkeys!

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To be continued...

 

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