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Thursday 8 December 2016
I have been accused of being overzealous in my crusade to save humanity from its cervidae would-be conquerors. To paraphrase a quote from America's inspirational president-elect, I would rather live one day as a lion than 100 years as a deer. It turns out that I'm not the only one.
According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, a homeowners' association in neighboring Fayette County has a plan to deal with its "dangerous" deer problem. Instead of pussyfooting around with traps or sterilization, the Whitewater Creek Country Club Homeowners Association is planning to call in a team of federal sharpshooters. I assume they're talking about SEAL Team 6.
Naturally, any plan this bold will have its detractors. In this case, the bleeding heart residents have formed an opposition group they've named Concerned Citizens Against Deer Eradication. It's pretty clear they don't know what they're doing. CCADE is a terrible acronym.
The newspaper completely omits just how CCADE is planning to stop the WCCCHOA from executing its plan. It says they have hired "a Washington DC law firm," but I'm not sure how that's going to help. This is America. If there's anything we have more of than lawyers, it's bullets.
When will liberal, country club dwelling people learn? When it comes to remorseless deer marauding across your drought resistant Zoysia lawn or eating your organically fertilized, gluten free cucumbers, there's only one solution. Build a wall. And if you can get your neighbors to pay for it, all the better.