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Monday 24 April 2006
This afternoon I unraveled one of the great conspiracies of the 20th century: The Faked Moon Landings. For years I've heard the rumors that the Apollo missions were filmed in a hidden studio somewhere: the lunar landscapes simply sets, the spaceships merely props, and the astronauts just actors. But this afternoon, while reading about NASA's gift of a moon rock to Neil Armstrong, I was able to finally pierce the veil: Neil Armstrong is really Adam West.
Think about it. First, they look a lot alike. Coincidence? Science says no. Clearly, they could never appear together since they are the same man. ("Clark Kent, meet Superman.") Neil Armstrong and Adam West have never publicly appeared together. (Go ahead and type both of their names into Google. You'll see.) Armstrong claims to have long guarded his privacy and is rarely seen outside of publicity events. West, on the other hand, has been in the public eye as a star of stage and screen for years. He is an accomplished actor who would have little difficiulty in donning the character of "Neil Armstrong" for the right paycheck and the promise of a global audience.
I must say that I do believe that Adam West was a great choice to portray an astronaut. He was handsome, strong, and athletic. His earlier portrayal of an astronaut (a Colonel, no less!) in Robinson Crusoe on Mars, billed as "scientifically authentic," proves that he had what it took to be the first man to walk on the moon. Adam's portrayal of Batman in the years immediately prior to the landing demonstrated that he could be the man who lives with a secret identity. Bravo, I say, to the man who entranced the world.
No doubt NASA, the United States Government, and Adam West will all deny this as the truth. But this does answer a lot of lingering questions. Personally, I think that knowing the truth makes the world a little bit better place to live in, even if we haven't landed on the moon yet.