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This season, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Terrell Owens is calling himself "Batman" and his new pal Chad Ochocinco "Robin." Owens gave himself this moniker during an interview earlier this year, fully expecting Ochocinco to willingly accept the role of Robin. Word to the wise, people: no one who thinks that they could be Batman will ever settle for the role of sidekick. (In fact, according to ESPN.com, Ochocinco flatly refused to dress as Robin for the Cincinnati Enquirer 2010 football supplement, forcing the editors to try a secondary approach and get the two to pose beside a Chuck Barris batmobile.) This can't end well.
Last week, before the Bengals lost their season opener in a blowout loss to New England, USA Today reported that the Dynamic Duo have taken to nicknaming their quarterback, Carson Palmer, "Alfred," as in Bruce Wayne's butler. That's a little demeaning, isn't it? This won't end well.
And yes, I know that Batman and Football Month is already half over and this is the first post to mention Batman. (And it still combines him with football!) What can I say? 2010 has been a bad year for Batman fans. At least the year is mostly over. All's well that ends.
Footnote: Over on the NFL.com fantasy blogs, Adam Rank wrote, "remember that one episode of Batman when Robin saved the Caped Crusader? Yeah, me neither." I'm not going to get into disproving the fallacy of that statement because I think it makes my point pretty well. Better get used to second-string status, Ochocinco. You're now at the mercy of people who think Batman is cool but have never read a comic book. I'm sure that somewhere someone is already making "Batman and Robin are gay" jokes at your expense. How well can you take that in the end?
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