Ha, ha, politics! Amiright?

Ingrates!

I for one welcome our new robot overlords

It's a dog-faced buddha's life

I know, I know. Technically, Krypto didn't have heat vision until he arrived on Earth with it's yellow sun. But never let truth get in the way of a good story. Or even a bad story.

Mom bought it at TJ Maxx for $7 and would love a reason to go shopping again

Who needs an alarm clock?

Admittedly, it's a stopgap solution

Now that I'm done, I can barely tell that I've done anything

Some days I realize he actually is a big dog

Besides, he's never even *been* to China

My original punchline was 'Wait until you see what they do when the gem in your palm starts flashing,' but no one's gonna get a LOGANS RUN joke in 2022

Her stomach tells time better than I do

It has been [4] days since his last bath

They both have a problem with sharing

He doesn't want to be sedated

It's getting annoying

I can't believe I got *this* much done

Take that, Aesop!

It was only a light dusting, but Henry loved it

It's a skill he's very proud of

RAMBO III references are still topical, right?

I think Henry is starting to grow on her

Audrey is getting a head start on next year's Naughty List

Chronic kidney disease is no joke

Meet Henry

If there is a Heaven for dogs, I hope it's full of squirrels

Okay, I admit I made this one up. Rambo and Audrey aren't on speaking terms right now.

She's much less bothered by this news than I am

Poodle see, poodle do

I *still* can't let Scarlett into the yard without a leash

She's a smart (and hungry) girl

Never ask a wise man a question you don't already know the answer to

Her nose always knows!

Maybe next year it will be reborn as a different flower

Is there an opposite of 'soul mates'?

The fun is in the spoiling

She only wakes up for food

If God doesn't want her to go poo in the house, he would make it stop raining

This way she doesn't actually have to get up and go to the door

2020 might have left some residual damage to our mental health

Ghandi may not have said it, but he didn't make comic strips, either

I've been waiting forever to make this joke

Dog Buddha is the breakout character of 2021!

This is what dog disappointment looks like

Not only can she smell pizza, she can spell it

Her favorite thing is actually eating, but she can't do that 24 hours a day

We couldn't tell if she was sick or just really, really relaxed

I always forget which is which

She got her annual shot on Friday and slept all day Saturday

Actually, she handled last week's middle-of-the-night weather event like a brave (and tired) little champ

Don't worry; she always cleans her pillow

A dog has got to know her limitations

Dogs are very territorial

Could use some salt

Unity means you all must do what *I* say!

She was very excited about the cake

The price of cuteness

What a Lulu!

You better run. You better take cover.

He always is

Me, too

I will

There's a learning curve

Giving thanks for a full life

I tell a variation on this joke each year

Dogs are so much wiser than people

Gallows humor: for when you're at the end of your rope

I should embed a rim shot sound effect

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP

I try not to lose my patience. I fail.

She still responds to the sound of the can opener

Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh, Batdog!

I wondered why I kept finding glitter everywhere

We get passed by turtles

She does like a good handout

No one has a better sense of humor than theologians

Well you know, we're all doing what we can

Hashtag CancerCulture

At least it's not COVID

The zodiac sign for July is Cancer

U! S! A!

You thought Uranus was the only planet with a dirty name?

#BlackLivesMatter, Jeffy!

So this is the future? I don't like it

I wanted to use a curse word here

'Bark, bark' means 'I love you'

Stubborn isn't a strong enough term

I like to think I'm a Dorothy, but I'm probably a Sophia

She's really good at 'sit'

Bath time!

seriously, she's loving it

CDC says masks don't work; we're all doomed

That's just science!

That's why they call them standards

The older I get, the worse my jokes are

I paid her a whole pizza to pose for this. It was worth it.

to pizza or to pizza (there is no 'not to pizza' question)

Sarcastic quip

Father Time comes for everyone, even dogs

July is a big Steve Martin fan

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

It must not be possible to eat until you pop because Audrey would have burst by now

There aren't enough Thanksgiving poems

Audrey loves the Thanksgiving baking competitions on Food Network

Audrey loves the Halloween baking competitions on Food Network

She really didn't want to go; she just hates it when I leave.

She gets surly if I forget

It's how she learned to count

I make my dog watch too many movies

It's a joke for Greenpeace volunteers with English majors

July has a supernatural ability to know where you are about to step

She told me to shove it

If it smelled like food, she'd eat a brick

It's a good thing phones aren't made for paws

Meanwhile, dogkind had already long mastered leaping

Poor Toto was still black in Oz

Sisters!

By the time you read this, she will be out of surgery

Didn't you go to obedience school with Noah's dog?

She always gets what she wants

Poodles are dog topiaries

The older you get, the less patient you are about the important things

Never confuse the art with the artist. Except in this case.

And I'm no Jim Davis

Any excuse for a nap

If only they could bake medicine into pizza crusts, I said

The Matrix is 20 years old. Sigh.

At least she can't jump this fence

I just woke up

Scarlett will always be welcome at our house... so long as she makes an appointment first

She's gained 5 pounds

Make Westminster Great Again

Snow long

The only way to win is not to play

But they do get shorter

Silly dogs! Everyone knows the Cheeze-It® Bowl and Famous Idaho Potato® Bowl aren't played at the same time!

The older poodles get, the less they care about the repercussions

Joke blatantly stolen from friend Otto

I blame you for this, Ken

July's favorite holiday

July can't read either

Scarlett Snax

She chases squirrels so hard, she makes herself sick

I can't believe she ate the whole thing

Fred Rogers would have HATED this joke

Slippery when wet

This explains my credit card bill

I think the same thing happens to insects

I admit it. It's too short.

Bad dog

If we started celebrating Christmas this early, the new Black Friday would be September 21

This is not a joke

This comic may have been about me

Sometimes I feel like I'm chasing my own tail

Fleas are also apparently indestructible

Flea collars and flea powders and flea shampoos ... are the fleas getting a cut of all this?

No, really. The new TV is yuuge.

It's a joke about jokes

Audrey hates being told what to do

July has learned to appreciate a good nap

When she doesn't get her way, she pouts. It's real cute.

I just couldn't stop writing punchlines

You don't know how hard it was not to make a Pudding Pop joke here

Some things do smell worse than wet dog

Nothing says 'resurrection' like chocolate rabbits!

Don't let her fool you; Audrey hates baths too

I have created a monster

I do call these 'poodle' strips, not 'havanese' strips

I say we start a program to trade guns for dogs

She's my favorite tween

They say that a one-year-old dog is the age equivalence of a 15-year-old human. July is not going to help Audrey study for her driver's test.

This is libel. They've both actually been very sweet and patient with me.

Mekhi Brown punched a UGA player and his own coach yet was back in the game to make a key tackle one series later. What can you do against that?

I believe the technical term for dog sweaters is 'straightjacket'

Holidays are overrated

It's true! Every snowflake is different.

She's still taking it out on me

Life is a journey, not a destination

We're in the home stretch now!

I hurt the ones I love

My hand is staring to cramp

I could do this all week. Oh, wait.

Halfway there!

You're starting to wonder how much longer this is going to go on, aren't you?

The Rule of Three can bite me

The Rule of Three says I should stop here

You're going to want to sit down

Brace yourself. This is only the beginning.

Dogs are just like people: they most love what they cannot have.

This is not what I intended when I sat down to draw it, but the spirit overcame me.

Actually, I don't eat at Wendy's anymore. She betrayed me by changing her recipes.

She really does think they're someone else's toots

Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!

I'd rather be on the beach with dogs than people.

Audrey isn't used to football season yet. She still jumps when Mom yells at the tv.

Her first choice was Art History, but Mom wanted her to get something useful

The easiest comic I've ever made

But fewer trips to the pet store

Also, you can't get enough naps

Girls just want to have naps

Those buns cost a whole 50 cents

I thought I did

Wise men know that sometimes you need a second pair of shorts

I have no idea if Audrey can see anything through her bangs

Potty training is apparently a college level course

I keep telling her it's okay to bite

Obedience school is not going well

Cuteness is no match for poodle smarts

At $10 per Kong, July's going to need to get a part time job soon

Audrey's favorite chew toy is July

This is what mom gets for going to the beach

I should have saved this joke for Presidents Day

Audrey™ merchandise coming soon

The only thing she loves more than acorns are shoelaces

I'm sure they'll end up the best of friends

Old people are the worst

Poodle remorse

I think it always comes out well

They also have no thumbs

If we'd have known he was going to grow up to be such a bastard, we'd have smothered him in the crib

Rain in how Mother Nature cleans her toilets

She doesn't care so long as she gets a goodie in her stocking

Square meals for July are literally square

She watched my aunt crawl through the kitchen window and didn't say a word

I wrote this before the election

I wouldn't forget things if I took her with me

Technically, Dr. Allen didn't prescribe this

This is why she acts surprised by her own farts

By one point

July is surprisingly well read for a dog

The puppy didn't have a name yet. July suggested 'Worms'

In real life, the treats go straight in her mouth

Poodles are not the rabbit's natural enemy

Humans also use only 10% of our brains

Cotton Mather was his role model

We only go potty after dark

That's Chewie's bowl

All parents are hypocrites

Do you remember my first poodle strip?

She's serious about those goodies

Squirrels are little bastards

We miss you, Victoria

Victoria doesn't win, she pwns

Victoria doubles down

Victoria really, really hates to lose

Victoria hates to lose

I use it to buy pizza and pet medicine

You know this is a joke. There is no way Victoria would sleep through a shot at pizza

She slept through the making of this cartoon

I always have to make vet appointments for two

Springtime = bath time

Their cuteness is an impenetrable force field

It just gives me heartburn

They still love me

Dogs don't care about football

The thrill of the hunt

July isn't a poodle; she's a three-toed sloth

Cancer? I never even met her!

Nailed it

Another toe-rific comic

This one's for Keith

She never complains so long as she sees treats at the end of the tunnel

The Force is strong in this one

I think we're having ham this year

Christmas is just like any other day for Victoria: tricks aplenty

Halloween is just like any other day for July: treats aplenty

My punchlines are old too

She lives to tease

I'm ok with never being as good as Bill Finger

Cleanliness is next to goodliness

Are you ready for some football? If so, visit your local Chrysler dealer

It probably wasn't designed for queens with claws

Victoria is a picky eater

No more glasses of water before bed

They're sleeping now, but they wake up like clockwork when it's time for goodies

This strip is lame

She spent the fourth hiding under my desk

Mercy is for the weak!

Seriously? It's 5 in the morning!

Have you ever seen a poodle wear glasses?

She doesn't not travel well

The truth hurts

I'm sure the squirrels are getting smarter

July loves to reference pop-culture history from 10 years before she was born

Showers are especially tricky

So I bought her some new ones

The thing Victoria does best is sleep

You can't even remind old dogs about tricks they already know

Funny thing is that she hates peanuts

July loves to stay home from school

Our poor neighbors

If only they could bake medicine into pizza crusts

Maybe I should paint the windows black

I don't know how they can tell

She's still mad at me

This year Victoria resolves to nap more

Teddy doesn't bite, but maybe he should

I think they only reason they nap so much is because they don't want to come when I call

True fact: puppies never sleep

I told you poodles are smart

Size matters not

The chair is not a prop; it's a lifestyle

This is not at all like how Americans have responded to ebola

I'm still a little mad

Jamie Foxx as Daddy Warbucks? Seriously?

Can you believe that some people actually like soccer?

July had the good manners to act embarrassed afterwards

Poodles never worry about trading freedom for security

She's smarter than I am

A shaggy dog story

Why does dishwashing detergent look like candy?

Man's best friend (so long as he has a goodie)

Confession: I have no idea what July's siblings' names are

Some sacrifices are required in the name of science

To Victoria, 'something nice' means pizza crust

What Victoria wants, Victoria gets

Who can enjoy the ladies when they're spending all their time chasing goats?

I'm thinking about using quick-release collars

I try to be fair

I think she does it on purpose

Its the only thing in the kitchen she can't open herself

Every night

Does this ring a bell?

She's lucky she doesn't have a mohawk now

For the record, the balloon was blue

She's not kidding. She will take your hand off.

I don't know what she's talking about. I think curling is awesome.

Based on a true story

Maybe Victoria really is an apricot poodle

She still hasn't caught one

The vet tech said she bucked like a horse the whole time

She is

Papa Johns is making a fortune off me this holiday season

I've created a monster

I'm beginning to think Victoria likes baths

Classic strips, re-tooled for modern audiences

I just discovered that I cannot spell 'veterinarian'

I've created a monster

Independent girls have a tough time being alone

Next time: choke chain

We just reseeded the back yard. The girls are not happy about it.

Trouble starts with T which rhymes with P which stands for Poodle

To Victoria, chicken tastes like everything

The septic tank leaked and Victoria was the first to find it

July did not find this amusing when it actually happened to her

To be honest, the movie I was watching was TRUE GRIT, but I didn't think as many people would recognize the quote if I wrote 'fill your hands, you son of a bitch'.

He's a clothes poodle

Based on a true story

I know from experience that you can't even see July's eyes in the dark

No one is going to get this joke

One thing's for sure: he's not a poodle

Power corrupts even poodles

Yes, July gave me poison ivy

Poodle baths require equal parts shampoo and Liquid Plumr

So far as dogs are concerned, snakes are sticks that throw themselves

Who has time for TV when there are squirrels in the yard?

She is what she eats

They really should use a different sound effect for doorbells on television

Fences: prisons for dogs

Based on a true story

Some well trained dogs

It's not the size of the poodle in the fight...

Poodles are comfortable in their own skin, even when they don't know what their hair color is

Poodles are the ruling class of dogs

Teaching a new dog old tricks

Lazy days of July

For poodles the whole world is candy

Cookies left out on a table overnight + hungry poodles = trouble

They shoot Christmas Specials, don't they?

Poodles have no belt to loosen after dinner

The food is always tastier in the other bowl

Victoria has her own idea of what "sit" means

Soap, the old-school tub toy

Batman doesn't have to use his teeth.

NFL: Naps For Life

The Poodle Always Rings around the Bathtub Twice

Knock Knock joke, poodle style

Poodles know to always snipe from cover

Too much sugar rots your canine teeth

She has a pretty good grasp of the American Way

If we wanted dogs to watch more TV, we would replace every actor with a squirrel.

Don't tell Victoria, but 'poodle' is from the German word for puddle.

Every poodle has a silver lining.

Love from afar.

She thinks I can throw that ball really fast.

Technically, they obey me.

It's always a good time for poodles!

The good, the bad, and the poodles

Love means never letting go.

A poodle begins in delight and ends in wisdom.

Neither of my poodles is named Patience

Gift of the Poodi

She used to be such a good dog

Thanksgiving leftovers, doggy style

Victoria is a Special dog.

Based on a true story

This strip isn't really about a dead chipmunk.

Foul: Un-poodle-like Conduct!

Look, it's the Poodle-sign!

What'cha wanna do, Rambo?

Dogs taste better with mustard.

The 4 Puppies of the Apocalypse

See, her name is July.

Does anyone who reads this blog even know who Krypto is?

Separated at birth: Al Gore and John Schneider

Even for poodles, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Fast food for poodles

A tisket, a tasket, a poodle with a basket.

Hungry like the wolf

I dedicate this strip to Randy Fike.

Squirreled away for a rainy day.

Fortunately, babies have tiny hands.

Live at Poodle-kon!

Always do what they cliche.

The sooner you make New Year's resolutions, the sooner you can break them.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a dog night!

Poodles are a cut above other breeds.

Giving thanks for poodles. And turkeys.

Adventures in Fine Dining

Poodles vs. Squirrels: round 1

Poodles: they worm their way into your heart.

Are poodles a cowardly, superstitious lot.

Football, Poodle Style

You are what you eat.

Poodles read Thoreau, too.

Super-Poodle

Searching for an escapegoat

Poodle Trouble

Poodle Philosophies

Chere helps

To be continued...

 

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