Poodle see, poodle do

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I vowed that if the 1-4 Dolphins lost to the 0-5 Jaguars today in London, I wasn't going to watch another Dolphins game all season.

Final score: Dolphins 20, Jaguars 23.

So long NFL. And thanks for all the fish.

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I had to change the latch to our picket fence gate because Scarlett learned that she could put one paw on the handle and push to let herself out of the yard.

My irritation at having to track down a muddy escaped poodle was tempered by my appreciation that she learned how to escape just from watching us come and go.

Never underestimate a determined poodle.

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I don't feel guilty about watching Hallmark mystery movies, so I can't call these "guilty pleasures." "Comfort movies" seems a more fitting description.

108. (1967.) Sweet Revenge: A Hannah Swensen Mystery (2021)
Hannah the baker is my favorite of the Hallmark mystery series detectives, and I'm glad to see her return even in a silly, uninspired installment. However, I'm willing to ascribe most of the worst changes between this and her last appearance to COVID-inspired filming restrictions. If COVID is good for anything, that thing is scapegoating.

110. (1969.) Mystery 101: Deadly History (2021)
This series has long had some of the better mysteries (and sillier endings) of Hallmark's offerings, a trend this continues. It seems producers now want to establish greater connective tissue between installments — more time for romance! — that I'm not entirely sure works in the series' favor. I guess time will tell.

116. (1975.) Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: Honeymoon, Honeymurder (2021)
Get a load of that that title! Can you believe anyone would name anything that? Ms. Teagarden is the nosy Ms. Marple wannabe that I love to hate. I very much look forward to the episode in which someone needs to solve her inevitable murder.

124. (1983.) Redemption in Cherry Springs (2021)
Another case where it seems that COVID limited filming conditions to a series of claustrophobic two shots. The core fault of this movie results from its attempts to break the Hallmark formula by making the mystery a missing person yet having the love interest/cop insist he should be the only one trying to solve the case. What a dick.

More to come.

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  • Awoke to a call to repair a broken door at our commercial rental property
  • Bent the jack on my aunt's new lawnmower trailer as I was swapping her two trailers
  • Smashed my thumb with a sledgehammer while trying to "repair" said jack
  • Nearly wrecked my car changing lanes in front of a tiny Smart car on the way to the hospital
  • Visited Dad in the hospital to find him once again weak and confused (he was readmitted on Saturday because he couldn't breathe well... and he still can't breathe well)
  • Failed to properly latch the gate and allowed Dad's poodle Scarlett to escape my yard
  • Struck in the eye by a falling acorn
  • Watched Matt Amodio lose on Jeopardy!

That was my Monday. I don't think I'll be getting out of bed on Tuesday. I don't want to find out what falling thing hits me in the eye next. It'd probably be a plane.

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I *still* can't let Scarlett into the yard without a leash

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When I was in elementary school, my favorite book was Bunnicula. (Actually, if memory serves, my favorite was the third book in the "Bunnicula" series, The Celery Stalks at Midnight. You gotta love that title!)

In a fit of nostalgia, I searched to see if that book was still in publication. Turns out it is. A 40th Anniversary Edition was released in 2019. And surprise, surprise, in 2016 it was turned into a series of 104 cartoons for Cartoon Network. (Where was I while that was happening?)

Now, I happen to know that the 2016 cartoon is not the first animated adaptation. Bunnicula, the Vampire Rabbit was produced in 1982 by Ruby-Spears (the same company that brought the world Police Academy: The Animated Series). I had only the vaguest recollection that this existed, and if you don't remember seeing it, that's because it is objectively awful.

But don't take my word for it.


Teach the kids early: the book is always better than the movie.

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Dad has been released from the hospital into my care. I'm not convinced he's ready, but I understand why the hospital wanted to be rid of him. I made the mistake of telling him that CVS had sent a text warning that his new prescription for melatonin was not covered by his insurance. "Good," he said. "That's the drug the nurses were using to hack my phone!"

I left behind a giant bowl of Halloween treats for the excellent staff of Piedmont Hospital Newnan's 8th floor who cared for him for the past two weeks. In essence, I traded the nurses my Dad for a bowl of candy. Trick or treat! It's nice to still have a father, but I'm pretty sure the hospital got the better deal.

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One of those days? One of those months.
via sweartrek.tumblr.com

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True Tales from the Hospital*

NURSE: Your son is here. Walter's here.

JIM (irritably): Walter Shears? I don't know Walter Shears.

NURSE: What is your son's name?

JIM: My son is Walter Stephens. I've never known any Walter Shears. Send him away.

*That Might Be Heartbreaking If They Weren't Objectively Hilarious


Also funny (and totally true): thanking his nurses after they settled him into a fresh gown and sheets, he said "Thank you. You've done a great job. That's how I know you're not really my nurses. They're not this good."

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To be continued...