It's not uncommon these days to hear someone say that they wish comics today were apolitical like the comics of their youth. Well, I was 8 when DC Comics Presents #62 came out in 1983 (Reagan's America!), and the plot of that comic was that a group of neo-Nazis planned to destroy the Constitution of the United States, demoralizing American society until it collapsed inward to "Racial Hatred... Mob Violence" which the Nazis would then graciously offer to save us from... for the bargain price of our souls. Obviously, that story has absolutely no political message. Silly me.

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Superman #18, Sept/Oct 1942

Super-mansplaining.

In addition to its timeless cautionary tale about underestimating lying Nazi scum, Superman #18 also has a message for members of the Supermen of America Club. Using their Superman Secret Code card and "Code Mars No. 3" (which is an easily cracked simple Caesar cipher substitution where the offset is 3 letters to the left), club members learned "STRENTH, COURAGE, AND JUSTICE WILL SEE US THROUGH!" Democracies might be gullible, but at least no one can make us use spellcheck!

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Welcome to the 19th annual Wriphe.com Superman Month!

This year, the hype is real, as James Gunn's much anticipated Superman movie is just around the corner. Are you all excited? Am I excited? Are we excited?

No, seriously. I'm asking. I don't know.

In full disclosure, I still haven't watched any of the trailers. (Have there been more than one?) Nothing personal, Mr. Gunn, but I just don't care for trailers. Some of them give away too much, and others are just plain misleading. Personally, I prefer to make my decisions based on poster art.

Yeah, okay. I'll probably watch that.

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Young Men #1, December 1953

One thing we can all still agree on is that Hitler was evil, right? Right?

Goddamn it.

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When I went in to my Local Comic Shop yesterday to pick up Absolute Power #3 (specifically Cover A by Dan Mora, where Batman does his best impression of Wolverine from the 1988 Todd McFarlane cover of The Incredible Hulk #340), the Guy Behind the Counter asked if I was also going to pick up Batman #152 (specifically Cover F by Nicola Scott recreating the iconic 1986 Frank Miller Dark Knight Returns #1 cover pose with Adam West's Batman from the 1966 television show).

I can hear you already. "Nope. That's too geeky for me. I'm out of here," you say. I totally get where you're coming from. You're not wrong. Godspeed to you, sir or ma'am. In point of fact, this is not the blog post that I sat down to write. Even I find myself gobsmacked by how much detail was necessary in that first paragraph just to get in the door of this particular rabbit hole. Maybe I have been reading comic books too long.

Not so long ago (in astronomical time), People In The Know used to point to high issue numbers as the unclearable hurdle turning away new comic book readers. Now every series starts over with a "Brand New Number One Issue!" every few months. But what does it say about comic book culture that even these new, lower number issues are impenetrably obtuse because of a fire hose of variant covers overtly referencing, literally, sixty years of comic book ephemera? Is there a hobby out there somewhere that doesn't wear its accumulated detritus as a badge of honor? If yes, I may be in the market for another pastime.

Anyway. The point here is that no, I did not buy Batman #152 Cover F. Its cover is printed on card stock, which, while being a sturdier paper than a standard cover (which these days is the same paper as is used for the interior pages), is $1 more expensive than the base cover price ($4.99 for a 22-page story) which is too rich for my blood in no small part because I remember when 48 pages of comics printed on newsprint cost less than a dollar.

Yes, I have definitely been reading comic books too long.

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I didn't want to buy a new phone, but the last one stopped ringing, and I cannot have a phone that doesn't do the one thing a phone is supposed to do. So I bought a new one (though not a Google Pixel: they apparently have a well-documented problem of stopping ringing which the commercials conveniently forget to mention). As always, a new device calls for new backgrounds, and these are what I am using for my locked/unlocked screens respectively:

For the record, the Superfriends on the left are by Alex Toth (with a Superman head by Curt Swan) and the Superfriends on the right are by Jose Luis Garci­a-Lopez. Always gotta have some Jose Luis Garci­a-Lopez.

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Think the Olympics are all about fun and games? Heck, no. They have practical origins.

Police Comics #1, August 1941

You never know when you'll have to harpoon a fleeing pirate!

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Want to know why Louisiana would willingly violate federal law to require the 10 Commandments in all kindergartens? The 1991 Chick tract Sin Busters has the answer:

Declaration of Independence writer and third president Thomas Jefferson may have written that Congress should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," but that's just because he was part of the evil world system!

God bless the real America!

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Action Comics #582, September 1986

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Superman #198, April 1976

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