Showing 11 - 20 of 180 posts found matching keyword: batman
Thursday 1 September 2022
Believe it or not, we've finally reached the 17th Annual Wriphe.com Batman and Football Month. Am I excited? You betcha.
Earlier this year, the University of Georgia Alumni Association urged me to take a picture of myself "Calling the Dawgs" to drum up support for giving more money to an institution with over a billion dollars in endowment. (If you have a billion dollars what do you need more for? Is UGA planning on starting a space program?)
But I'm a loyal dog. So since I'm not on Facebook or Friendster or whatever the kids are doing these days, here's my picture on my own anti-social media.
Now that I've done as you asked, put those unpaid football players* who earned the University $46 million in net profit last year back to work for my entertainment!
*Okay, fine. They get Tuition and Living Expenses out of the deal. For an average student, that's about $27,600 in value. So it's not like they get nothing. But $46 million in profit could pay for an additional... 1.6 thousand students. That'd be a big football team!
Thursday 24 February 2022
Think your headlines are bad? At least you don't live in Gotham City.
Batman #120, December 1958
They saved the elephant, but Batman had to be put down.
Monday 14 February 2022
What's under Batman's cape?
Perhaps that's best left to the imagination.
Friday 24 December 2021
Watched just in time for Christmas:
146. (2005.) Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
This movie is infamous because of how public response to its Santa-with-an-axe ad campaign ended up getting the movie pulled from theatrical release. But what it should be infamous for is how it twists the Batman's origin into a (lame) horror story.
As my Christmas gift to the world, I've translated the movie back into comic panels.
Now you can say you've seen Silent Night, Deadly Night (just like how for years I said I'd seen the R-rated Robocop when I'd only read the PG-rated Marvel Comics adaptation). Merry Christmas!
Saturday 18 September 2021
Twitter very helpfully reminds me that today is Batman Day 2021. Explains the site: "Fans pay tribute to the DC Comics superhero on Batman Day, which is celebrated each year on the third Saturday of September." The only problem with that description is that it is not true.
Maybe Batman Day is held on the third Saturday of September since 2018, but it wasn't always. As I have documented elsewhere, Batman Day has been all over the calendar since it was first recognized in July 2014. But that's not the part I'm really bothered by.
The word "fans" in that description is misleading, unless you'd describe the corporations who own the Batman intellectual property as fans. Unlike Star Wars Day, which began as a genuine celebration of its source material before being taken over as a marketing exercise by The Walt Disney Co., Batman Day has never been anything other than a marketing exercise by WarnerMedia.
I wonder if whoever crafted that description for Twitter wasn't having a little fun with the wording. The phrase "pay tribute," which has come to mean a figurative giving of praise, was originally meant quite literally. A tribute is a tax levied on conquered peoples. Give your thanks (and dollars!) to your corporate masters, Bat-fans!
Which is not to say that I don't like Batman or think it's uncool to say how great the Caped Crusader is. I'd just like a little honesty in why we chose today to do it, is all.
Batman #119, October 1958
Honesty! It's what Batman would want.
Friday 10 September 2021
Wednesday 8 September 2021
What a difference half a century makes!
Thursday 22 July 2021
Every Batman fan worth his salt knows "The Joker's Comedy of Errors!", better known as "The Joker's Boner" story. Originally presented in Batman #66, Aug/Sep 1951, it can be summed up in one panel:
This is but one of 6 "boner" newspaper headlines in this story.
If you haven't read the story or you struggle with context clues, you might find it helpful to know that my trusty 1977 Webster's New Twentieth Century Dictionary of the English Language Unabridged defines "boner" thusly:
bōn´ẽr, n. a stupid or silly blunder. [Slang.]
As Batman #66 proves, newspaper editors love boners. Which brings us to the point of today's post.
In order to fill column space As a public service, The Newnan Times-Herald newspaper reprints food inspection reports from county restaurants. It's usually a lot of repeated warnings that store managers aren't checking the mold levels in their ice machines. (Come on, guys! It's right there in the Georgia Department of Public Health Rules and Regulations, Chapter 511-6-1-.05-7-b-5-iv-II!)
This month, in honor of Independence Day, the paper rewarded loyal readers by giving our local hot dog stand a boner of its own:
Oysters really are an aphrodisiac!
For the record, the restaurant calls itself "The Half Shell Oyster Bar & Hot Dog Shop." Rumor has it their menu was selected because the city wouldn't let them install an oven in their original location downtown, so they chose items they could cook with steam. (Welcome to Newnan!)
I've never had the oysters, but the chili dogs *are* pretty exciting.
Friday 15 January 2021
From the Mark Twain's Obituary Department:
When last we saw our hero, the Red Bee, he was dead. Very dead. Killed by Nazis in World War II dead. Having dinner with ghosts dead.
Well, guess what: He got better!
Dark Nights: Death Metal #5, November 2020
As happens in the funny books, competing gods have altered reality, changing heroes into villains and vice versa. Through a quirk of fate, in this altered reality Batman has been given the power to raise the dead to help him fight those gods, and Red Bee was among the lucky multitude of heroes he brought back from the beyond.
I don't know how a guy who dresses in a translucent blouse and whose super power consists entirely of training bees to sting on command will be of any help defeating gods... but I'm also not Batman. I'm sure he knows what he's doing.
Dark Nights: Death Metal #6, December 2020
In hindsight, Batman probably should have reanimated Michael, the Red Bee's trained bee. Michael was the one with the real powers, after all. All Red Bee really ever does is make his opponents uncomfortable with his sartorial choices. That's probably not going to be too useful against shadow demons who don't even wear pants.
Dark Nights: Death Metal #7, January 2021
Yeah, that went about as well as one might expect. Stay down, Bee!
The good news is that at the end of the fight, all of reality was reset once again. Assuming comic books survive the collapse of America, I'd say we've not seen the last of the Red Bee (or his gauzy sleeves).
Wednesday 13 January 2021
Slate.com's culture blog, Brow Beat, has published a satirical article that is too perfect. (I'm so jealous. I wish I'd thought of it first.) I'm reposting just the start to whet your appetite.
Don’t Prosecute Gotham’s Supervillains for Their Latest Scheme
Any attempt to bring the Joker to justice is likely to fail or backfire.
By THE JOKER JAN 12, 2021 · 7:47 AM
It’s been a traumatizing couple of weeks in Gotham City, full of unthinkable violence and chaos. We’ve all seen the appalling footage: the exploding shark, the pier bombing, and the United World Organization building—until last week, a powerful symbol of the democratic hopes of the entire world—being invaded, vandalized, and defiled by the “United Underworld,” an alliance of the city’s most dastardly criminals: Catwoman, the Penguin, the Riddler, and even the Joker, the coolest supervillain of them all (although his role in the plot was very minor or maybe even nonexistent, from what I’m hearing). People across Gotham are frustrated and angered, and the vicious, unwarranted vigilante attack launched by so-called crime fighters Batman and Robin against the crew of a whimsically decorated Navy surplus submarine in Gotham Harbor did nothing to lower the emotional temperature.
Now it appears that Commissioner Gordon and Chief O’Hara are planning to bring criminal charges against the ringleaders of the United Underworld. This is a grave mistake. Our great city should be looking forward right now, not dwelling on the past. A trial would only dredge up traumatic memories and evidence of the terror unleashed by the Penguin, the Riddler, Catwoman, and possibly others. Criminal trials should not occur in the heat of the moment, if ever, and I fear that investigating this shameful incident any further would only be inflammatory and incriminating.