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It's not uncommon these days to hear someone say that they wish comics today were apolitical like the comics of their youth. Well, I was 8 when DC Comics Presents #62 came out in 1983 (Reagan's America!), and the plot of that comic was that a group of neo-Nazis planned to destroy the Constitution of the United States, demoralizing American society until it collapsed inward to "Racial Hatred... Mob Violence" which the Nazis would then graciously offer to save us from... for the bargain price of our souls. Obviously, that story has absolutely no political message. Silly me.

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I was eating lunch while reading the latest Consumer Reports magazine when I suddenly realized that I wasn't reading the Consumer Reports anymore. I was reading the same line over and over because the sentences had stopped making any sense. My first thought was that the article's author must have been having a terrible day because the words were all wrong for constructing a complete thought. But on closer inspection, the words weren't wrong, my ability to recognize them was.

Naturally, I assumed this sudden onset aphasia was a symptom that I was having a stroke. Mom, however, was pretty certain that it was just an oncoming migraine. Mom is usually right about such things, so I did not call 911.

My migraines usually start with tunnel vision and limb numbness, and sure enough, they both came along eventually. After a long rest in front of the TV (playing Olivia Newton-John's Xandau and the final round of a terrible U.S. Open), I awoke feeling, well, "better" isn't the right word, but maybe "relieved" at having moved firmly into the acute headache stage of migraine progression. (As if "relieved" and "acute headache" ever belong in the same sentence.)

The worst part of a migraine is the fact that when one strikes, I have no choice but to do literally nothing for many hours except lie still and wait for it to pass. Sometimes I can sleep through them. Sometimes not. In today's case, it has been 9 hours, and I'm still not 100% (nausea is always among the longest-lingering symptoms for me), but at least I'm mostly functional again. (I'm typing all this, so evidently my brain's Wernicke's area and other language centers are back online. Hooray! I mean, I am typing real words, right? You can read this? Please say you can read this.)

Just to be on the safe side, I'll wait until tomorrow to try reading any more Consumer Reports. That magazine is dangerous.

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Today is the first day of the annual Metropolis Superman Celebration in Metropolis, Illinois. (The first was in June 1979, but it was canceled in 2020, so this is the... 46th?) And this year they've got Dean Cain! (For the third time.)

However, if you think that you're going to go just to shake Mr. Cain's hand and tell him hos much you enjoyed Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, think again.

Per supermancelebration.net:

Must I purchase an autograph or photo when I meet the celebrity?

While the celebrities love to meet their fans and hear their stories, there is an expectation from their accompanying managers that everyone in the line will want to purchase an autograph or selfie.

So know that Mr. Cain is really a super nice guy, but his manager.... Grr. What a dick.

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Kryptonite

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Today, while researching how Ron Howard made the decision to quote the myth and not the facts of "Houston, we've had a problem," I realized that more time has passed since the release of the movie Apollo 13 than had passed between the actual events and the movie. By several years, actually.

I distinctly remember thinking about how long ago the JFK assassination was when Oliver Stone made his movie about it while I was in high school. That was just 28 years since the event. It's been 34 years since the movie came out.

And don't even get me started on how I thought the year 1955 was the ancient past when I watched a particular movie released three decades later in 1985, itself now four decades in the rear view mirror.

Obviously, both the past and the future are much closer than I thought.

There's nothing I can do now about my younger self's misimpressions, but obviously I am past due in reevaluating how I interpret the effects of the passage of time on living memory. Maybe the events in that galaxy far, far away didn't happen quite so long ago as I once imagined.

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Superman #18, Sept/Oct 1942

Super-mansplaining.

In addition to its timeless cautionary tale about underestimating lying Nazi scum, Superman #18 also has a message for members of the Supermen of America Club. Using their Superman Secret Code card and "Code Mars No. 3" (which is an easily cracked simple Caesar cipher substitution where the offset is 3 letters to the left), club members learned "STRENTH, COURAGE, AND JUSTICE WILL SEE US THROUGH!" Democracies might be gullible, but at least no one can make us use spellcheck!

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You can currently buy a 30-count box of these on Amazon for $18.49 (a mere 62¢ a pack!):

Please note that those are "candy sticks," not "candy cigarettes." The distinction is important, not because candy cigarettes are illegal in America (they are, in fact, very legal,^[1] so legal, in fact, that most of the world's supply is made here^[2]), but because Superman hates smoking so much, he once killed a cigarette peddler.^[3]

^[1] Per Wikipedia: "In the United States, it was reported erroneously in 2010 that the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act [of 2009] bans candy cigarettes. However, the law bans any form of added flavoring in tobacco cigarettes other than menthol; it does not regulate the candy industry."

^[2] Per Thrillist.com: "These days the manufacturers of candy cigarettes are small and secretive. New Jersey-based World Confections Inc. is the primary manufacturer, and the only big one left." And yes, World Confections Inc. is the manufacturer of these Superman Candy Sticks.

^[3] Rest in Peace, Nick O'Teen. I posted video of the assassination on June 5, 2018).

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FYI: My power is out. Again. Estimated time of restoration is 3 hours. No one can blame a tornado today. Apparently, the power can't even stay on through some light rain anymore.

UPDATE: It's back on! And in just a shade under two hours. They're getting faster.

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