For the last few years, we've had a Jeopardy! page-a-day calendar. This year, Mom opted for a History Channel This Day in History calendar because she got a great price on it... in February. I'm starting to think the price markdown was for more than just the expiration date.

This Day in History for March 5, 1770, was the Boston Massacre. Maybe you've heard of it? It's pretty famous. According to the calendar, British Private Hugh Montgomery "slipped and fell, discharging his musket into the taunting crowd." Though this makes it sound like an accident, eyewitness testimony at the trial indicated that Montgomery shot only after recovering his dropped rifle and regaining his feet. That, plus the fact that he more or less confessed, is surely why Montgomery was one of only two of the eight soldiers found guilty of manslaughter.¹

The calendar also explicitly states that "John Adams and Josiah Quincy Jr.² defended the colonists." Both of those men would like to assure you that they defended the prosecuted soldiers. In point of fact, there were three trials related to the massacre, the first two against soldiers (Rex vs. Preston and Rex v. Wemms et al.) and the third, much lesser known, against colonists (Rex vs. Manwaring et al). There were no defense attorneys in the third trial, so the calendar is flatly wrong.

(Technically, I suppose, so long as we're being pedantic, we should say that there were four trials related to the Boston Massacre, as according to the 1771 summary of the trial published in The Trial of W. Wemms, J. Hartegan, W. McCauley, H. White, M. Killroy, W. Warren, J. Carrol, and H. Montgomery, Soldiers in His Majesty's 29th Regiment of Foot, for the Murder of C. Attucks, S. Gray, H. Maverick, J. Caldwell, and P. Carr, the sole witness for the prosecution at the third trial, Charles Bourgat, was found not credible and was later brought up on charges of perjury. I don't fault the calendar for omitting this fact. But it is a fun bit of Americana legal trivia.)

Now that I've caught This Day In History making these mistakes, I'm doubting the accuracy of everything it tells me. Sure, these may have been honest editorial grammatical errors, but in this day and age where Google's terrible search AI is giving me factually incorrect answers to everything,³ I think it's more important than ever that the people who claim to be authorities in their fields know what they're talking about. Why should I learn facts about history from people who don't know the facts of history? If you can't trust a discount page-a-day calendar, who can you trust?

¹ Montgomery's punishment was having the letter M "for murder" branded on his thumb,⁴ which is very The Scarlet Letter indeed.⁵

² These days, it seems historians usually refer to the father of 15th Harvard University President John Quincy III as John Quincy II. However, when the son published a posthumous biography cobbled together from father's "journals and letters" in 1825, he titled the book Memoir of the Life of Josiah Quincy, Junior, of Massachusetts Bay: 1744-1775. And who is the History Channel to argue with a former president of Harvard?

³ DO NOT READ GOOGLE AI RESULTS FOR ANYTHING. Seriously, people, I cannot tell you how unhelpful Google AI responses were in researching this topic, a famous incident in American History that has been extensively researched and documented. The responses were so astonishingly wrong, you're just as likely to get correct responses to queries if you asked the teenager at the window of your local Burger King drive-thru. Which, I suppose, does mean that in all the ways that matter, Google AI successfully passes the Turing Test.

⁴ According to Wikipedia, the "benefit of clergy" defense used to save Montgomery from the gallows was abolished in the United Kingdom 1827 and from United States federal law in 1790, though the possibility exists that it may still be recognized in some state courts. I recommend consulting a lawyer before trying it yourself.

⁵ Though it takes place in the 1640s, The Scarlet Letter was published March 16, 1850. I've already peeked ahead; March 16, the calendar tells me, marks the day in 2006 that the "First Lady of Drag Racing," Shirley "Cha Cha" Muldowney, was inducted into the International Drag Racing Hall of Fame, which at least fits the National Women's History Month theme. Weirdly, despite explicitly mentioning four other Halls of Fame she belongs to, Muldowney's Wikipedia page does not mention this induction, though the Don Garlits Museum of Drag Racing which sponsors the IDRHoF does. Why does the calendar endorse this one in particular? I guess that's just another one of history's mysteries.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: family history john adams mom

Recently, (as one does) I was perusing the Tustin (California) Area Historical Society website (tustinhistory.com) devoted to the closed (but not decommissioned) Marine Corps Air Station Tustin, commissioned in October 1942 (as Naval Air Station Santa Ana) to house "non-rigid lighter-than-air" airships for Navy Fleet Airship Wing Three, Squadron Thirty-One (ZP-31) in two wooden 17-story 1,088-foot long blimp hangars (one surviving), listed on the National Register of Historic Places since 1975.

That's where I found an image of this aging stencil painted on an interior wall of the (surviving) south Hangar 2 (Building 29):

A little more research teaches me that these are the fourteen leadership traits taught by the United States Marine Corps. Even more research reveals that the Marines borrowed those fourteen traits from the Army, specifically from the 1961 Department of the Army Field Manual FM 22-100: Military Leadership, which ordered them alphabetically. When the Marines integrated the traits into Department of the Navy Marine Corps Warfighting Publication MCWP 6-11 in 1995, they kept the alphabetical order, though the 2014 version of that publication (now designated MCWP 6-10) re-ordered them into the very sensible mnemonic "JJ DID TIE BUCKLE".

(In point of fact, a fifteenth trait, "Empathy" was added in the 2024 version of the MCWP 6-10, which now calls them "JJ DID TIE BUCKLEE". I'm not going to tell the Marines their business, but that's a terrible mnemonic. I assume they were sticking by tradition—Semper Fidelis!—but why just tack on an extra E when "KID BLED JET JUICE" is right there for the taking?)

However you order them, I have to say that I find them to be very good traits for effective leadership. Pretty good traits for everyone, actually. Too bad I don't see many of those traits being exemplified by the current Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States. Maybe someone should give him a tour of the South Hangar at MCAS Tustin.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: fuck you america history news philosophy

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: blue eye samurai television

I first referenced this chestnut on my post January 7, 2020, shortly after the United States, at the order of an historically unpopular current president, launched a surprise drone strike that killed Iranian General Qasem Soleimani under the pretense that terrorist actions were imminent.

Given Saturday's events, in which the United States, at the order of an historically unpopular current president, joined Israel in a surprise bombing campaign that killed Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei under the pretense that nuclear strikes were imminent, now feels like a good time for a callback.

If at first you don't succeed, bomb, bomb again.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: fuck you america history news war

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic strip havanese strip poodle strip

My latest painting:

I wanted a photo of me punching that Mystery Box, and I couldn't take it myself, so I enlisted Mom's help. She has never played Super Mario Bros., and she didn't quite understand what I was after or, apparently, that you can keep pressing the shutter button on my phone to capture a whole bunch of images (because, you know, there's not actually a roll of film inside the phone). And that is how you get an expression like that on my face.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: art diy family mom video games walter