I've really slacked off on new-to-me movies here at the end of the year. This batch is from back in October!

182. (1836.) The Werewolf (1956)
A mad scientist turns a man into a savage werewolf. But it's not a horror movie. Not really. It's really a police procedural in which we follow the manhunt. Er, the wolf-hunt. It's not good, just different.

183. (1837.) Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: Reunited and it Feels So Deadly (2020)
These are definitely getting easier. I had it solved before there was even a murder. And that's why I watch 'em.

184. (1838.) Party Girl (1995)
The independent movie that made Parker Posey "Queen of the Indies" is indeed pretty darn cute. To its credit, despite following all the standard rom-com conventions, it still manages to feel original and smart. Well worth its reputation.

185. (1839.) Venom (2018)
About halfway through, Venom gives up being a horror sci-fi movie and embraces the anti-hero action genre. I find in the end I like the character more than I liked his comic origins, but I also find that's true about most onscreen Marvel comic book adaptations. I don't like Marvel comics, I guess.

186. (1840.) The Wicker Man (1973)
Another classic of its genre, but I can honestly say I hated this one. It's more suspense than horror, but the ending... holy, crap. No, just no. I don't care what its fans say, this is nothing more than an exploitation snuff film.

187. (1841.) Fleshpot on 42nd Street (1972)
Speaking of exploitations films: have you ever asked yourself what must the romantic life of a working hooker be like? This independent film answers it, and the answer is "sad." (Apparently this was released to New York theaters in a triple X-rated version. Glad I didn't see it. Depressed with a boner is not a crowd pleaser.)

188. (1842.) Guru, the Mad Monk (1970)
Ok, so maybe the reason I've been watching fewer movies here at the end of the year is because I watched movies like this in October. Made independently on the cheap, like Party Girl and Fleshpot on 42nd Street, but without any real understanding of cinematography or editing. Or acting. Or screenwriting. Imagine goth middle school kids filming a Shakespearean play they wrote themselves as extra credit for a history class they didn't attend, and you get the picture.

More to come.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: movies

© Victor Baldwin, 1971

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: art lolcats

From the Dearly Departed Department:

I bet you'd thought I'd forgotten about the Red Bee, hadn't you? That happens with dead people. Life goes on without them.

Sometimes, that really bugs them.

Thirteen years after the story of his death was finally told, Richard "The Red Bee" Raleigh had dinner with Starman and several other long deceased heroes in the great superhero home in the sky.

Starman #37, December 1997

In the afterlife, where time has no meaning, you don't get closure.

It is worth noting that we don't ever see the Red Bee's bee, Michael. I assume he lived a long, happy life, died well adjusted, and went to bee heaven.

Fortunately, this wasn't the last we'd see of the the Red Bee. I'll be back with that story soon.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic books death red bee

I think all commercials should be like perfume/cologne commercials.

I want to see a movie star digging holes in the desert to sell me the invigorating fragrance of Charmin Flushable Wipesâ„¢.

I want to see a model riding a unicorn across the Seine to hold up a magical box of Hefty® Ultra Strong Drawstring Kitchen Trash Bags.

I want to see a rock star BASE diving off the Empire State Building to showcase the ethereal sensation of eating Campbell's® 25% Less Sodium Cream of Mushroom Soup.

Sell me a feeling this Christmas, Madison Avenue. I've already got plenty of stuff.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: advertising television

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic strip havanese strip poodle strip

Per the United Press Syndicate:

Nov. 25 (UPI) -- A hunter in the Czech Republic was charged by a deer that snagged the man's gun on its antlers and fled into the woods with the weapon, police said.

Police said another hunter reported spotting a deer with a rifle dangling from its antlers more than half a mile from the scene.

Investigators said the hunter was required to report the loss of the rifle under the Czech Republic's Firearms and Ammunition Act.

I'm not going to lie; it's kind of comforting to know that not *everything* has gone upside down in 2020.

The Great Deer Uprising: continuing unabated since 2010.

"Hunter Holding A Rifle Looks Peevishly At A Deer" by Edward Koren

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic strip great deer uprising of 2010 news

Lately, I've been watching a lot of movies I've seen before and liked. But I still have time for some new-to-me movies like these:

176. (1830.) PT 109 (1963)
This biopic is too long. While watching it, I had ample time to consider a scenario in which the evil land baron who made Patrick Swayze's life hell in Roadhouse was secretly J.F.K., who had survived his "assassination" and moved out to the sticks. I mean, that's not any crazier than anything else you'll hear in 2020.

177. (1831.) Enter the Ninja (1981)
Oh. My. God. Where has this movie been all my life? A gaijin ninja returns to help his best friend by sleeping with his wife and combatting the minions of an evil corporate raider. It's balls-to-the-walls crazy. I can only imagine how much better my life would be if I had seen this action/adventure ninja-exploitation film when it came out. What a wasted childhood.

178. (1832.) Revenge of the Ninja (1983)
Not a sequel so much as an anthology installment, this is a pale reflection of its predecessor. (A rogue gaijin ninja begins killing mobsters, unintentionally revealing himself to the rival ninja whose life he ruined. Oh, and there's also some child endangerment.) If you have the opportunity, watch Enter the Ninja again instead.

That's a very familiar clock on the wall of that, uh, Y.M.C.A. dojo?

179. (1833.) Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019)
As a live-action adaptation of a young children's cartoon, this film should be terrible. But it's not. By leaning into the source material, it actually manages to be quite charming. I recommend it.

180. (1834.) Picture Perfect Mysteries: Exit, Stage Death (2020)
One of the worst aspects of 2020 is that the pandemic has robbed me of these Hallmark mystery movies that I love to hate watch. The formula is as tired as ever; I identified the killer literally the first time he appeared on screen. I'd watch as many of these as Hallmark could make in a year.

181. (1835.) Ninja III: The Domination (1984)
The third and final movie in the "Ninja Trilogy" fully embraces the supernatural in all its absurdity. To sum up: a cable repair woman is possessed by the soul of an undead ninja who goes on a killing spree against all the policemen who (justifiably) tried to kill him, a rampage that can only be stopped by the swordsmanship of *another* ninja. Better than the second but not the original. Boy howdy, Enter the Ninja was good.

More to come.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: coke movies

Now that I'm no longer tending for a sick dog, I finally have some time to get stuff done. Stuff like publishing a novel!

Apprentice to Murder: The Tale of Robin the Rascal in the Wizard's Own Words, my latest novel, is now available in both a $15 paperback edition and a $2.99 Kindle eBook on Amazon.com. Just in time for Christmas!

This is my fifth novel, after the Central Kingdoms Chronicles quadrilogy (The Wizards of Ranaloy, Prince Thorgils' War, A Quest Before Dying, and Specter of the Lich). Those were all about wizards. I admit that this one is too. But it's also a cozy murder mystery!

According to the book cover (which I also wrote):

Life is easy for young Prince Robin. Growing up with the luxuries afforded members of the royal family, he dreams of one day becoming a knight like his late father. But the young nobleman's dreams are derailed when his cousin, heir apparent Prince John, dies under questionable circumstances. Fingers quickly point to Robin, who inconveniently happens to be the next in the line of succession and the last person to have seen John alive.

To prevent civil war, Robin abdicates his birthright for an apprenticeship under Royal Wizard Septimus. Robin's sacrifice saves the kingdom, but one by one, the inhabitants of Windwick Castle begin to die, each new death seeming to further incriminate the fallen prince. The only way for Robin to save himself is find John's real killer.

The apprentice wizard is going to learn the hard way that even magic has its limits.

If that's not enough to whet your appetite, you can read the first chapter of this or any of my other books for free at JamesWalterStephens.com.

Thank you to all who have supported this project.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: a quest before dying apprentice to murder books prince thorgils war specter of the lich the wizards of ranaloy walter work

2020 killed my dog.

July beat cancer for the first time in 2016 after having her toe amputated. She beat it a second time when she had a portion of her ear removed in 2019. This past July, she had a mammary tumor removed. Three times seems to be the limit.

In late October, she got wobbly in the legs. We crossed our fingers that it was a spinal problem. She initially responded to treatment, but she took a turn for the worse about two weeks ago when she lost even the ability to stand with assistance. It was downhill from there.

So long as she was lucid and had an appetite, I felt it was my duty to support her however I could — I couldn't justify killing my dog simply because she had become inconvenient. But I realized late last night that we had probably reached the end of the line. (I'll save the gory details except to say that cancer can be a real bitch.) I had her euthanized this afternoon, and she died in my arms.

For the better part of the past decade, July had been my shadow. Her sister, Victoria, wanted to be near me; July *needed* to be near me. She followed me everywhere and complained to whoever would listen when she couldn't see me. I can't blame her. Who else was she going to get to take her for walkies or hand her a slice of pizza?

I already feel like I'm missing something when I walk into a room and don't hear the tappa-tappa of toenails trailing behind me. I keep looking for baby, and she's not there anymore and never will be again. That will take some getting used to.

Thanks to Kelley for bringing her into my life and thanks to Mom for being a substitute Walter when necessary over the years. Thanks to her vet, Jeff, for helping me keep her around as long as we did. (Fourteen years is a good, long life for a standard poodle!) And especially thanks to July for doing your best to make 2020 bearable for as long as you could.

I loved my girls.

Comments (3) | Leave a Comment | Tags: death dogs family july kelley mom poodles victoria

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic strip havanese strip poodle strip