The Miami Dolphins are guaranteed a winning season for the first time since 2008. It's an unusual sensation. I'd forgotten what it felt like to cheer for a winning NFL team.

If the Dolphins win on Christmas Eve in Buffalo and on New Year's Day versus the New England Patriots, they'll definitely make the postseason. There are scenarios in which they could lose one or both of those games and and still have a shot at playing for the league title. Given the Dolphins' history of poor performance in the snow and against teams much, much better than they are, I'm not holding my breath.

(It doesn't help that starting quarterback Ryan Tannehill busted his ACL in week 14 and may or may not return before September 2017. Great timing, that.)

However, don't let my pessimism about the future fool you into thinking that I'm not excited about the present. I am, indeed, very happy that the Dolphins won't finish the season as losers, something I predicted before the season started.

That's the best thing about being a pessimist. It's always a pleasant surprise when you're wrong.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: dolphins football nfl quarterbacks ryan tannehill

Movies to start December!

105. (1043.) The Squall (1929)
Californian Myrna Loy plays a racist stereotype of a European gypsy doing terrible gypsy things, which mainly consists of seducing stupid men. I found it completely believable. (Damn sexy gypsies! *shakes fist at sky*)

106. (1044.) The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do the Time Warp Again (2016)
I don't get it. I don't understand the point of remaking a movie exactly like its predecessor. This remake went out of its way to look and sound sound like the original (which it openly references at point, such as a crack about Meatloaf for dinner). The music was over produced, and for a film celebrating deviancy, everyone is just too damn pretty. The polish here only shows how much more creative the original was. Watch that instead.

107. (1045.) Beloved Infidel (1959)
A film based on F. Scott Fitzgerald and his romance with gossip columnist Sheilah Graham. I watched it to learn a little more about the final years of the great novelist, but it might as well be yet another remake of A Star is Born, with Graham in the up-and-comer role.

108. (1046.) The Prizefighter and the Lady (1933)
This is another early Myrna Loy movie. She's a (badly dubbed) singer who falls for (real life) boxer Max Baer. It's got a bit of a Rocky vibe, where the romance is more important than the boxing, even to the boxer.

109. (1047.) Night Flight (1933)
Myrna Loy has a very small part in this as the wife of a pilot. That's okay. Clark Gable has an equally small part as a pilot (though not her pilot). The main plot involves a couple of Barrymores. It's not as great as it wants to be, but it's hardly bad.

More to come.

Comments (3) | Leave a Comment | Tags: movies myrna loy

More original Walter artwork!

Judging by the fashion on display — I'm sure those lifts represent are cowboy boots — I'm guessing this drawn-from-life portrait is from about 1979/80. I'm not sure who this was, perhaps my aunt's boyfriend? It's not my dad. For one thing, I don't think Dad has the first clue who Rush is. He also never had that much hair.

Comments (1) | Leave a Comment | Tags: art walter

I'm sorry I didn't mention this sooner, but Myrna Loy is the Star of the Month at TCM.

I didn't discover Loy until I watched The Thin Man much too late in life. (After years of hearing people say "Have you see The Thin Man," I finally took the hint.) Loy's screen presence matches a keen, playful mind and a knowing, beautiful face, often with more than a small pinch of wry cynicism. I simply love her.

(According to my notes, I've watched 21 Loy movies in the past 4 years. That's a small fraction of her catalog. IMDB.com credits her with 131 movie roles in all. I've got some watching to do!)

Sadly, this warning comes too late for you to check out the terrible Mask of Fu Manchu or the underrated Whipsaw, but there's still plenty of Loy to come. All six Thin Man movies will be showing on December 23. There are much worse ways to spend a Friday.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: movies myrna loy

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: christmas comic strip holidays poodle strip poodles thanksgiving

I have been accused of being overzealous in my crusade to save humanity from its cervidae would-be conquerors. To paraphrase a quote from America's inspirational president-elect, I would rather live one day as a lion than 100 years as a deer. It turns out that I'm not the only one.

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, a homeowners' association in neighboring Fayette County has a plan to deal with its "dangerous" deer problem. Instead of pussyfooting around with traps or sterilization, the Whitewater Creek Country Club Homeowners Association is planning to call in a team of federal sharpshooters. I assume they're talking about SEAL Team 6.

Naturally, any plan this bold will have its detractors. In this case, the bleeding heart residents have formed an opposition group they've named Concerned Citizens Against Deer Eradication. It's pretty clear they don't know what they're doing. CCADE is a terrible acronym.

The newspaper completely omits just how CCADE is planning to stop the WCCCHOA from executing its plan. It says they have hired "a Washington DC law firm," but I'm not sure how that's going to help. This is America. If there's anything we have more of than lawyers, it's bullets.

When will liberal, country club dwelling people learn? When it comes to remorseless deer marauding across your drought resistant Zoysia lawn or eating your organically fertilized, gluten free cucumbers, there's only one solution. Build a wall. And if you can get your neighbors to pay for it, all the better.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: fayette georgia great deer uprising of 2010 news trumps america

Spotted at Kroger: The Christmas Tree Funnel.

Because even Christmas trees want to do keg stands at frat parties.

Comments (1) | Leave a Comment | Tags: christmas holidays

Movies, November, part 2 of 2:

99. (1037.) First Family (1980)
Perhaps because I expected more from screenwriter Buck Henry, I spent most of the second and third acts of this political satire screaming, "But that's unconstitutional!" Perhaps, it's worth remembering that this film was made in the years just after Nixon's "If the president does it, it's not illegal" claim. So much of comedy is context that I'm reluctant to be too hard on this film.

100. (1038.) Start the Revolution Without Me (1970)
I felt this Prince and the Pauper-inspired farce makes a few comedic missteps early (slapstick that lasts too long, a voiceover gag played too early — in comedy, timing really is everything), but it recovers well thanks to a broad performance by Gene Wilder and the more subtle style of Donald Southerland. Not great, but not bad.

101. (1039.) The Sea Wolf (1941)
I haven't read the Jack London book this movie was based on, but the film really is pretty good until you reach an ending that feels a bit contrived. Was London responsible for that, or did Hollywood just force another one of its famous endings on me?

102. (1040.) Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014)
This was the movie Mom chose to watch for Thanksgiving. I found it disappointing. Both the script and the animation felt under developed and clumsy. That was never a problem for the Jay Ward cartoons it was based on.

103. (1041.) Ender's Game (2013)
I have read the Orson Scott Card book this movie was based on. I've read it multiple times. And while the movie managed to capture the "Gee Whiz" sci-fi elements, it moves too quickly to do anything but hint at the deeper conflicts of the subject matter. Simultaneously too simple and too complex, I understand why this flopped at the box office.

104. (1042.) Punk Vacation (1990)
Years ago on this blog, I called Armageddon the worst movie ever made. My brother called me out and said that I hadn't seen enough movies. His Exhibit A should have been Punk Vacation. The cinematographer wasn't incompetent, and the editor looks to have been trying to do the best he could with what he was given. However, these actors wouldn't have passed auditions in a community theater, and the director, well, I don't know what the director was thinking. There are some unintentionally funny moments here — I think there was supposed to be dark comedy — but not enough to make it worth watching. By anyone. Ever.

More to come.

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: movies

Last week, the Athens Banner-Herald ran a news story about deer/vehicle collisions on state roads, including my favorite road, US Highway 29. The story ended with this line:

"In three instances, deputies had to shoot the badly injured deer."

Think about that. Imagine a scenario in which a police officer "had to" shoot a deer. What do you see? Does it look something like this?

It should. Those collisions weren't accidents. They were yet another offensive in deer's eternal war against humanity.

What if, instead of shooting them, the officers had given the "badly injured" deer medical attention and let them go free? How many days do you think would pass before that deer attacked another car? What if next time, it was your wife's car? Or your daughter's? Can you really afford to take that chance?

Deer. They'd do it to you.

Comments (2) | Leave a Comment | Tags: adventures in photoshop athens georgia great deer uprising of 2010 news trumps america

Comments (0) | Leave a Comment | Tags: comic strip poodle strip poodles